


We'll See

by randomramblesff



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Baby Fic, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Kid Fic, The universe where Annie has a son, based around their characters in Season 6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-10-11 17:31:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 103,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10470345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/randomramblesff/pseuds/randomramblesff
Summary: “I’m so sorry for the disturbance. I couldn’t catch him in time and then he ended up knocking on your door because he hasn’t got quite used to the layout of this place yet. We just moved in a couple of days ago, so, anyway, we’ll leave you alone. Once again, I’m really sorry.”The AU where Annie moves in next door but she's not alone.





	1. That's Us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE! It was all a lie... or I just got really impatient and decided to post this fic a bit earlier than I'd expected... so yes, technically this is still a WIP but I have a good 10 chapters finished and will make sure I keep you updated. This idea has been in my head for literally months so hopefully someone enjoys it. It's an AU but based upon Jeff and Annie's characters in Season 6. Not everything aligns with canon but it's an AU - that's what it's for. 
> 
> Big thanks to my main pigeon/beta, @zacscottysnl for reading pretty much every word of this and for putting up with my endless questions and rambles. You da' best!

“Milo, Milo…” Her voice immediately drops to something more assertive and direct in an attempt to make his nimble feet stop in the middle of the hallway, “ _Milo._ ”

She’s recently started to believe that he’s mentally capable of blocking out her demands because it’s becoming more and more of a struggle to stop him from doing certain things, like reaching up and knocking his small fist against someone’s door or rattling around the handle like a magical creature is going to be released if he does it just _one_ more time.

“Milo, stop. That’s not our door, sweetie.” She pushes forward with Milo’s stroller in hand, praying a silent prayer that the person whose door he’s started to fiddle with isn’t going to open it up and angrily start barking out how their afternoon has been interrupted by a child with, what looks like in the moment, an irresponsible mother who can’t keep her son from walking off without her. She makes a quick note to not unstrap him until they’re in the apartment and he can only start playing with what belongs to them.

She’s about to tug on his arm and point out where he’s gone wrong when she hears a metallic clatter on the other side of the door he’s stood in front of, making her sigh and manoeuvre the stroller so that Milo is trapped from disturbing anyone else. The door opens as expected, revealing a tall and what Annie can only describe as, rugged looking man. His eyes are focused straight ahead momentarily like he’s expecting someone to be at his level. They soon drop down to her, though, and then find themselves drifting even lower to the crown of Milo’s head because he has now taken to sulking and pouting at the ground.

She’s almost forgotten why she’s standing still, so she shakes her head and blinks out of her daze before their neighbour has a chance to speak.

“I’m _so_ sorry for the disturbance. I couldn’t catch him in time and then he ended up knocking on your door because he hasn’t got quite used to the layout of this place yet. We just moved in a couple of days ago, so, anyway, we’ll leave you alone. Once again, I’m _really_ sorry.”

He stares at her blankly with his brow furrowed slightly like he’s trying to work out what’s happening but needs a bit of time to catch up even though the situation is fairly plain and simple. He blinks and then he’s focused back on her again, and she senses that he’s finally acknowledging her as an acquaintance who he might see every occasionally from now on, rather than a stranger knocking on his door because he shifts and leans back on the door frame.

“Uh, yeah, I saw boxes.” He nods whilst tilting his head, one side of his mouth curling up into a sly smirk. Milo’s now nudging his head into the side of Annie’s leg because he’s still not particularly confident around new people, even if they aren’t interacting with him directly.

“Well, we won’t take up any more of your time and I promise I won’t let him do that again. He’s just very fast these days.”

He raises his eyebrows and deepens his smirk when he drops his eyes back down to the mop of brown hair covering Milo’s face.

“Don’t worry about it. He’s just a kid.” He shrugs and stands tall, obviously sensing the end of their conversation and first meeting; not that Jeff’s expecting any more, but he’s bumped into his other neighbours a dozen or so times this year so it’s more than likely they’ll say hello in passing once or twice in the future. She smiles whilst combing her fingers through Milo’s hair at his kid comment, wishing it was as simple as he makes it sound. She sighs before patting Milo on the shoulder, rolling the stroller forward with one hand.

“Okay then, well, it was nice meeting you and thanks for being so understanding. The people in our old apartment block weren’t quite the same.”

“My name’s Jeff, by the way. Winger.” He flicks up his chin as she starts to move away, crossing his arms over, emphasising the size of them which she hadn’t noticed before. She expects he has some sort of physical job; perhaps he’s a fireman or a personal trainer, or perhaps he’s a carpenter and the sculpted physique is to match up with the rough and thick skinned palms of his hands that she’d expect to find on someone with a position like that.

“Oh, right, sorry, I wasn’t even thinking. I’m Annie, and this is my son Milo… Edison.” He doesn’t miss the way she places her hand across her chest as she rolls her eyes at herself. She drops it to play with Milo’s hair again, though, which he presumes is somewhat comforting to him.

“Annie… I can remember that.”

She smiles back brightly before turning to guide Milo to the correct door, keeping him in place with her foot as she reaches inside of her purse and finds her key set. Jeff can see that there’s a flower on her keychain as he stands to wait and see if she’s going to say anything more. It fits her outfit; she’s wearing a bright floral dress which he expects is leaving her legs with chilled goose bumps because the autumnal chill has already started to creep in, even though it’s only the end of August. She’s wearing a cardigan in a matching pink, though, so perhaps she’s just embracing the last of the bright and sunny days in any way that she can. 

“Okay, you can go in now Milo.” Jeff realises that she’s officially in her own world, so he steps back and slowly closes the door, pausing to watch her go into her apartment. He can see a glimpse of some boxes where she’s opened it up for Milo to walk past the stroller, and it reminds him of the time he’d made the move into his own place. He knows all the apartments in the block are practically identical, so he’s not particularly fascinated by the idea of someone settling into their new environment.

“Just go and play with your toys for a minute and then I’ll start on dinner, okay?”

Jeff hears a triumphant and excited, “Toys!”, which makes him smile and shake his head before watching Annie’s curled hair whip through the door as she finally closes things up. He ends up poking his head out into the hallway to get one quick last look in case she’s dropped something or in case she decides to step back out. He bobs his head one last time before clicking the door shut, walking back to his couch as the door slams shut behind him. He slides his half drunken beer off the counter as he walks buy, slumping down where he’d been sat before so he can press play on his re-watching binge.

He zones out of what’s going on, on the screen a few times because he’s certain he can hear shrieks and high-pitched laughter coming from next door, but he hasn’t noticed it since Annie and her how-ever-old-he-is-kid moved in, so he turns up the volume and accepts that he’s imagining it.

* * *

 

Annie doesn’t think about Jeff or any of their new neighbours again for at least a good week because when she’s dealing with a toddler and tantrums, and work and driving said toddler between work and daycare whilst he’s _having_ a tantrum, there isn’t always a lot of room for stopping to think about other people and what exciting lives they might be leading that _don’t_ involve diapers.

Fortunately, the reason for moving in the first place is due to her new job, and fortunately, with her new job, she gets a few days off to start with because they understand the difficulties of being a single mom and being the only breadwinner available.

Those few days are barely a walk in the park, though, – although technically, she has taken a few walks in the park so that Milo can run around in the playground – because she has to try and actually move in and make the place feel like home. She plans on painting Milo’s new room a pale blue (because yes, this new apartment allows for him to sleep in his own enclosed space rather than part of the living room) but first, she needs to get him settled and comfortable with the idea that he’s even allowed to sleep in their new humble abode.

He’s never slept a night anywhere else but their old apartment since he’s started to control his own emotions because she’s always had babysitters visit her, and naps at his old daycare barely counted because they lasted an hour and he always knew the difference between where he stayed in the day and where he ate and slept when she was around.

For the first new nights, he ends up sleeping in her bed because he can’t settle in his crib when there are boxes stacked on top of each other in the darkness. He ends up crying over their presence at an unhealthy hour in the morning, so she has to unpack and store things away sooner than expected, trying to be as quiet as she can be because the only time she manages to find to do it is when he _is_ settled and peaceful on his own.

Her first full day at her new job starts with greeting everyone with dark eyes and a stress headache around lunch time, followed by picking up Milo from daycare where he’s apparently being running riot all day disobeying their orders because of course, he not only tired his mom out – he tired himself out too.

When Annie gets home all she wants to do is fall asleep, but it’s never quite as simple as that. She makes Milo’s dinner as soon as they get in the door, gives him ten minutes to play or watch TV so that he tires himself out just that little bit more, changes his diaper and put his pyjamas on, reads him around three or four bedtime stories and talks to him about his day, and waits for at least fifteen minutes by his door until he’s finally in a deep sleep.

By that time, it’s around half past seven, which leaves her time to clear around, have the quickest shower humanly possible in case Milo wakes up and she doesn’t respond, make _her own_ dinner, check her emails and make sure she didn’t miss anything work related (or any kind of daycare related update), before finally falling asleep alone at the earliest time she can manage. Even getting to sleep is exhausting.

The main positive of it all, is that when it’s _not_ tiring and when it’s not challenging, having Milo and working at a job she genuinely enjoys fills her with such satisfaction and fulfilment that for those very brief moments between it all, she forgets that last night she had to sleep in the chair of Milo’s bedroom for two hours because he wouldn’t let her leave.

As the only decision maker in their two-person family, she questions her actions a lot, like whether it’s a good idea to go grocery shopping with him or whether she should just order it to the door. She enjoys grocery shopping, though, because there’s some sort of achievement that comes along with it, like knowing that the bananas you’re picking up are going to last longer than one day and that you’ve got the best local deals rather than the broader and less beneficial ones online.

Her current (and longest standing) babysitter Shirley, who she hasn’t called around in a while, has given her a few tricks and tips along the way too. Involving Milo in as much as she can as possible is the best way to avoid any kind of conflict or almost-three-year-old troubles.

“What kind of pasta do you want? Because last time I got spaghetti and you threw it across the room and we can’t have that happening again.” Annie raises her eyebrows pointedly as Milo sits in the metal seat of the cart, rocking from side to side as he mulls it over in his mind.

“I don’t want any.”

She rolls her eyes before continuing to walk, reminding herself to stop making such a gesture because she knows he’ll pick it up as a bad habit.

“Well, you have to choose something because it’s easy for Mommy to make.”

“Hmm…” He hums in thought before shaking his head in a blur.

“What about butterfly pasta? You know, the ones which are shaped like a butterfly? That’s fun!”

“Colourful pasta!” His voice is loud enough to be heard from the far end of the store, so she gives a quick apologetic smile to anyone passing.

“I’m not really sure they do that, not in this store anyway.”

“They do!”

“Well we can keep an eye out for it, but I’m going to get some butterfly pasta, okay?”

“OKAY!” Annie smiles with tight lips, composing herself because as much as she’s happy to see _him_ happy, sometimes his erratic and hyper behaviour startles even herself, let alone everyone around her.

The only small hurdle and blip on this _exciting_ outing around the supermarket ends up being when Milo doesn’t understand that ice cream isn’t a food he can eat or buy whenever he wants. She ends up telling him that she’ll treat him to one in the park sometime soon, even though making promises is always a risk because his brain is like a sponge and he memorises everything. He’s silent about it for most of the car journey back home, kicking his legs against the back of the front passenger seat whilst humming along to the radio which is crackling through the tinny stereo in the front of the car, until she pulls up in the apartment garage and he remembers where he is and how close they are to the all-important park. It’s within a five minutes walking distance, and he’s adamant they can walk it at that precise moment.

“Milo, I’ve already told you, if you’re a good boy we can go and get ice cream another day, okay? We can’t go and get any now because it’s getting late and we need to have dinner.” She’s talking to him as she’s unstrapping herself and climbing out of the car, but she can still hear him through her partially opened door and windows.

“It’s not late!”

“Milo, come on, we need to get out of the car.”

She walks around the side of the car, opens his door and unsnaps the buckle on his car seat. She barely wiggles any of him free before his mouth drops open and his face creases up. She takes a deep breath before the wailing starts, his face turning bright red and a tear slithering down his cheek. She ends up wiping her own face to try and calm herself down first, before using the neck of his t-shirt to clear up his tear stains.

“Milo, come on, there’s nothing to cry about.”

“No! Mommy! Wah-ah…ahh.” He subconsciously wraps his arms around her neck to be lifted out of the car, his legs dangling down before she can hold him more comfortably. She bites her lip as she looks at the trunk of the car, deliberating whether she should put him in his stroller or use the stroller for the grocery bags and then carry him up. He’s still crying as she opens it up, and is starting to whimper so that he sounds breathless; she knows that to anyone else it would look concerning, even though she’s had to deal with it on an almost daily basis for several weeks now. She never believed people saying that the ‘Terrible Twos’ were a myth because more people pointed out how much of a handful a child of Milo’s age can be, than not.

Another car drives past which looks a lot more suited to the apartment block than her rusty Honda does, but she’s forgotten about it within a matter of seconds. She rolls her eyes and perches on the edge of the trunk with Milo in her lap, stroking his hair as he carries on whimpering into her shoulder.

“It’s okay. We’re going to go upstairs and we’re going to lay on the couch and then I’m going to make dinner, okay? It will be fine. Do you think you can help take everything up with me?” Her voice finally breaks through because he turns and looks up at her, rubbing his nose where it’s started to run. Annie shakes her head and smiles lopsidedly, waiting for him to fully recover even though she expects there to be more tears within a matter of moments.

“We have to work out how to do this because I bought quite a lot of food this time.” She glances over her shoulder at the bags surrounding them, trying to ignore whoever else is in the parking lot so that Milo doesn’t get distracted or interested in something else which might upset him.

“Okay.” She stands up finally, shifting Milo further up so he’s resting on her hip. She tugs on one wheel of the stroller, and then the other so that she can tilt the bottom down and drop it to the floor one handed. It smacks down and lands flat, so she hugs Milo even tighter and bends down to grab a handle and tug it up into a standing, working stroller. It takes a bit of effort, but she eventually has something to use.

“Right, I think we’re going to put the bags in the stroller and I’ll carry you up.”

She has her lips pursed as she carefully lifts each bag down into the seat, putting a bottle of milk that’s rolled out, into the bottom basket beneath. She blows out air in satisfaction, and slams the trunk of the car back down, more focused on her successful shopping bag system than Milo’s sensitivity. He immediately cries out in a whelp, so she dashes to her car door and locks it as quickly as she can before holding onto the stroller and starting to walk. She doesn’t have much control and she’s certain Milo’s cry is louder than last time, so ends up wishing she could rewind time. She has to make all of the decisions, and one small slip up can make everything crumble again.

“Oh, f-. Fruit! On the floor.”

She throws a hand up to her face as an apple rolls from its bag, making a new tube of toothpaste, a line of raisin boxes and some chips follow through. She pinches her nose and drops Milo to the floor, leaving him to cry by a wall, his whole body tensed up and unmoving.

That’s when she ends up looking up and finally taking note of whoever else had been walking around. She doesn’t recognise him at first, but then it hits her and she ends up rushing to pack things away even faster. He’s walking with aviators on and what looks like running gear with his phone in hand. He looks even taller from a distance because up close his overall body size balances things out.

She doesn’t know, but Jeff’s watching her as he walks. He’s flicking his focus between the garage ramp to the right of her and her shopping on the floor. He’s just come from the gym, so he’s sweaty and needs a shower as soon as possible, but it clicks why he’s suddenly more interested in her. She’s wearing another floral dress, but this time the neckline is lower and the print is a little simpler; it’s blue and casual, but the way she moves and is lowering herself down to the kid’s eyeline is what makes it look graceful and somewhat elegant. She knows what she’s doing and there’s something admirable in that.

He can hear an engine in the distance, but it momentarily gets drowned out by her son’s crying again, so he picks up the pace and puts on a supportive smile, pulling his sunglasses away from his face so he can hook them over the neck of his vest.

“Er, hey.”

She jumps a little, looking up at him over her shoulder as she holds Milo’s hands.

“Oh, hi.”

“Er, do you want some help?”

Her eyebrows shoot up and then down again as she looks back at her son.

“Um, no thank you. I’m fine, thanks.”

He tilts his head and tries again, quickly looking back at the garage entrance.

“Seriously it’s fine, it’s no big deal, I can help if you want. I can carry whatever you need me to.”

“Honestly, I’m fine. I do this all the time, you don’t need to help me. I don’t need any help.” She stands and carries Milo on her hip again, the boxes of raisins still on the floor. He feels awkward just standing there, so he watches Annie’s eyes drop to where they’re sat, before crouching down and picking them up with the same hand his phone is in.

“We live next door. I just got back from the gym,” He passes her the raisins before shrugging one of his arms out in a sly flex, “I’m basically made for carrying stuff.”

Annie parts her lips at that, raising her eyebrows before smiling tightly.

“I’m fine, really.”

He nods and is about to step away, but he can’t drop it, so he asks one more time. He’d feel guilty walking behind her all the way upstairs without lifting a single finger. She has two pairs of hands, but another two to look after.

“Look, I’m going to be going upstairs. It’s not a big deal and I can leave you alone as soon as we’re on our floor.”

She tries to conceal a sigh whilst kissing the side of Milo’s head, but he notices it and is filled with another sense of guilt – the _one_ time he helps someone.

“Thank you.” She doesn’t say no this time, though. He flicks his eyebrows up to get some form of confirmation that he can start handling her bags. She nods and presses another kiss to Milo’s hair, rocking him slightly. He’s almost half the size of her, with his legs kicking down against her thighs.

“Do you want me to like, push this?” She turns from comforting him to see Jeff with two bags in each of his hands, two fingers curled around one of the stroller handles.

“Um, yeah, if you could.”

“Alright, I’ll just…” He nods forward to suggest he’ll follow, to which he does, watching her ballet pumped feet ahead of him. It’s either the unnatural action of pushing a stroller, or the weight around his wrists, but his arms end up feeling longer and ganglier as they walk into the elevator and stand side by side. She’s paying too much attention to Milo to really say anything, so Jeff just grits his teeth and looks at his blurry reflection on the metal doors ahead of them.

It’s a fairly fast ride up, so they’re down the hallway and outside their front doors within two minutes. Annie slips her hand into the folded and creased up hood of the stroller to grab her hidden keys, unlocking the door with one hand like she’d done the first time he’d met her. He ends up wondering whether it’s more like she has one hand and three to look after.

“Would you mind?” She gestures inwards, which makes his brow shoot up and his forehead crinkle.

“Yeah sure.” He rolls it in and his eyes dart around her place. There are a few boxes dotted around but it looks like she’s made a start on making it a home. There are purple curtains up at the windows and a throw over the couch in a complimenting green colour, and to anyone who hadn’t met Annie along with her child, the stuffed toys and the left out sippy cup on the kitchen counter would be a signal straight away.

Annie clatters her keys down beside the sippy cup, dropping Milo to his feet in a moment of silent calm. He ends up tucking himself behind her legs again which Jeff takes as a sign; the kid doesn’t seem to like him much yet.

“Well like I said, I’ll leave you be.” He smiles briefly before stepping away from the stroller and where he’s placed the bags on the floor.

“Oh, okay. Thank you, Jeff, right?”

“Yeah, that’s me.” He clicks his finger at her, “Annie,” and once more at, “Milo.”

“That’s us.” She smiles genuinely for the first time since Milo had started with his ice cream related meltdown, laughing a little under her breath. He’s toddled off now, dragging a toy off the couch to dance around the room,

“Okay, I won’t disturb you anymore. I need a shower.” Jeff tugs at his top as he turns away.

“And _I_ need coffee.”

He turns at the door, poking his head around the corner whilst tapping his hand against the wall.

“Well, enjoy.”

“You too?” She cringes at herself, so she looks back at Milo as she starts blindly unpacking the bag she’d picked out of the stroller.

“Don’t worry, you won’t hear me singing through the wall.” He knocks his fist against the wall he’s leaning on, before finally pushing away.

“I’ll try to reduce the crying!” She dashes around the counter so that he can hear her call out, and shut the door at the same time.

“That’s what the couple downstairs said, and his wife cries most nights.” He’s got her back to her as he unlocks his own, his phone clenched between his mouth so his voice is muffled.

“Oh… that sounds…” She trails off, unsure of how to respond before he winks back at her as he simultaneously shoves the door open with his shoulder.

“Oh… ew. Thanks for the warning.”

“I’ll try to reduce that too.” He backs into the door and closes it up whilst watching her, grinning when he sees her frown and then roll her eyes.

When she returns to Milo in the apartment, she finds him on the floor rummaging through one of the grocery bags, tossing out a loaf of bread and some Q-Tips.

“Okay Milo, it’s dinner and then bedtime…” She plucks the bag from his grasp to empty it out on a flat surface (that isn’t the floor) to sort through. “…and coffee time for me. Coffee, coffee, coffee.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Chapter 2 posted tomorrow (2nd April) and then every Sunday onwards until the end)


	2. It's a Long Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The only real risk with standing outside of her door offering a hot beverage will be that she’s widowed and he ends up looking like an insensitive asshole. He can play it cool, though. He knows how to turn things around when things aren’t going his way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 as already promised - posting it earlier as I have a flight to catch! Enjoy!  
> Thanks for all the questions and comments on Chapter 1, feel free to ask away as I enjoy discussing... and ask away on Tumblr too! @harryspaceshipmchale is where I'm at.

“Coffee?”

It’s as much of a surprise to Annie as it is to Jeff that he’s standing outside of her apartment the following morning with two paper coffee cups in hand. He’d been standing in line for his order when he settled on the decision to pick up two. Ever since he’d seen her for the first time, he’d find himself thinking about how she was right next door and how it easy it would be to start something up.

He’s mulled over the benefits and the reasons why; she’s hot, she’s younger than the average tenants that have lived in her apartment before (although possibly younger than the average woman he usually sleeps with too – he can’t quite put a pin on how old she is by just looking at her), she seems to be available because he didn’t catch a ring on her finger and there hasn’t been a sign of her Baby Daddy showing up anywhere, and once again, she’s _hot_ and _gorgeous_ and he’d be a fool to himself to ignore the opportunity of possibly seeing her laid out across his bed sheets.

If his technique and coffee buying skills don’t end up working, then he can move on and just leave her as a neighbour like everybody else is in the block. He can open her jam jars like the old white haired woman at the end of the hall does; he’s certain her name is May, but he might have been a few glasses of scotch in when she first came knocking at his door, and May might have just been the month at the time.

Plus, most of the time when he ends up at a bar (his usual route for these scenarios) these days, he ends up with Britta sat beside him too, and even though there was nothing there but sexual and physical attraction, he can’t help but feel a sense of awkward tension between them if he tries to chat up and work his way into somebody else’s bed. It was fun whilst it lasted but it became more of a chore the longer it went on, and it would always end up as more of an interrogation of his emotional mindset rather than a fun night of something meaningless.

The only real risk with standing outside of her door offering a hot beverage will be that she’s widowed and he ends up looking like an insensitive asshole. He can play it cool, though. He knows how to turn things around when things aren’t going his way.

“Oh!” Her lips part and she shake her head, wobbling a miniature shoe off one of her fingertips, mid-air. “Sorry, you caught me off guard. Um, coffee?” She raises an eyebrow as if coffee suddenly has a whole new definition.

“Coffee. I bought one and then I thought, I’d bring you back one too… as a nice neighbourly gesture.”

“Oh. Well, wow thank you, but I can’t… it’s fine, honestly, especially after yesterday with you helping me and...”

“It was nothing. Please take this.” He holds it out and her free hand moves, but so does her whole body as she turns around and walks off, leaving him unsure of what to do next. He’s on the threshold of her door, his toes just over the line of where her carpet meets the faded unpadded kind of carpet that you might find in a school classroom or cafeteria.

“Let me get my purse, at least let me pay for it.”

He steps forward then, waving a hand out before stopping and watching her bend down to her bag on the floor. He ends up watching her with a bemused smile on his face because she genuinely isn’t picking up on the fact he simply wants to give her coffee, make her day a little easier and let her know that his door is always open if she wants some company; specifically, at night time. Night time can be _really_ lonely.

When she stands up her face is covered in strands of hair so she puffs out air subtlety and flicks it away as she moves closer.

“I’m not taking your money.”

She bites her lip and exhales, dropping her chin to smile.

“Thank you. I could do this with now… well, I can always do with it. This morning I’m trying to find a shoe! A _single_ shoe. I put it down by the door with all the rest of his shoes, but now it’s miraculously disappeared.” She finally takes the still hot cup from his hand, looking at the handwriting on the side to see what it contains, however, all it has is a squiggly scrawl of the name ‘Winger’ and a smiley face. She takes a quick sip before turning around again, leaving him to follow a few steps and sip at his own drink, thinking of what to add.

“Um… I lost my wallet a couple of weeks ago, it turned out it was in the back pocket of a pair of jeans.”

“I know, I’d rather be that stupid and pull it out from behind my ear than carry on searching this place.”

“Weeeeee!” A scurry of footsteps and a squeal interrupts from the other side of the room, leaving Jeff to remember the fact that the tiny _not-_ missing shoe that was in her hand belonged to someone. He’s not off put by motherhood or sleeping with someone with a kid, so long as the ‘sleeping’ isn’t when they’re around or that the father or husband is long gone, far out of the picture.

Milo stops when he sees Jeff, slowing his pace to walk up to his mom who is brimming at the sight of him. She puts her coffee down on the breakfast bar and pulls him up into her arms with ease, looking over her shoulder to see what toy he has in hand.

“Mommy, it’s my shoe!”

Or _shoe_ that he has in his hand.

“Oh my gosh, where was it? I was looking for that everywhere.”

“In the bedroom.”

Jeff gulps down more of his black coffee (he went for a standard white for Annie, in case something fancier or darker wasn’t her kind of thing) and stands around on the outside of their Mother-Son interaction. He’d usually scuff his feet on the floor but it would seem a bit rude to technically invite himself into their new home, and start mucking up their recently cleaned carpet.

“You are _so_ smart. I thought Mommy was going insane.” Milo slides his arms from around Annie’s neck, loosening his grip so that he can be slid back down to the ground. He finds the other shoe in the seat of his stroller which looks ready to go and starts clapping the soles of them together. Her attention snaps back to Jeff as she picks up her coffee again, watching him over the plastic rim of the lid. Her lips making a popping noise against the cup as she pulls it away and swallows.

“So, what do you do?” Annie asks with genuine curiosity.

“Me? Oh, uh, I teach, actually.”

“Oh, really? Wow, I always thought teaching was a really noble profession.” She smiles with her lips curled inwards and it’s probably the most fascinated anyone has seemed over his career; other than his mom perhaps, who was a little more than surprised when she found out the truth of it all.

“I guess.” Jeff glances over at her son who is trailing a toy train over the walls and furniture, before tilting his head and dropping his eyes up and down Annie. “What about you?”

“I am an assistant at a forensics lab. It’s a new job and partly the reason why we moved. I was working at a smaller private agency but then I applied for this job and well, here we are.”

“Forensics is interesting.”

“Yeah it is, I’ve always been interested. What do you teach?” She glances to the side of him from where she is now leaning up against the kitchen counter, both hands clasped around her coffee.

“Law, actually.”

He nods, casually positioning himself on the opposite side of the kitchen counter. She moves as soon as he’s opposite her, though, dashing towards the door to close it shut so that a still train driving Milo doesn’t escape elsewhere. She returns, huffing out air whilst straightening her dress.

“Law is _also_ interesting. I’ve taken a few classes. I don’t know if you know of it, but I graduated from City College a few years ago, before I had Milo.”

“City College? Of course, I know it, it’s the arch nemesis of schools to Greendale. I, unfortunately, teach there.”

“You teach at Greendale? As in GCC? As in the school with the, um…” Annie flicks an eyebrow up in Milo’s direction as an explanation for being vague, “… _you know_ as their flag?”

“Oh yeah, the very same school that was recently almost bought out by a Subway Sandwich University.”

“Oh… wow. That _is_ interesting.”

He nods jokingly, smiling but with gritted teeth because sometimes he forgets how ridiculous it all is. Annie’s attention has wandered when he looks back at her, she’s frowning in concern as she watches over her shoulder at Milo running a train across one of the windows. Jeff ends up frowning in confusion because he can’t understand how that is in any way entertaining; but then again, he doesn’t have kids or any kind of parental or paternal mindset to know how it works.

“Milo, what are you doing?”

He turns his head rapidly, his lips pouted and pursed. Jeff can see that he has his mom’s eyes; they’re the same deep blue and they’re the kind of eyes that could cut anyone right down the middle to their core.

“Playing with the train!”

“Okay, but can you do it on the carpet instead of the window because I’m not sure the landlord will appreciate you putting scratches all over the glass, okay?”

“Choo-choo!” He ignores her request for a moment or two, tracing the wheels back and forth whilst she watches him with a stern expression on her face, before rolling it off and up into the air with an added sound effect. He ends up circling around the room before running towards the kitchen at full steam ahead, trying to reach up and drop the train down on the kitchen counter between Annie and Jeff, but it ends up crashing to Jeff’s feet instead because he hasn’t quite got the height to put all eight tiny plastic wheels on the wooden surface.

“Woah there.” Jeff jumps back as if he’s standing out of the way of a real train, watching what Milo plans to do next. He looks up at him with those sharp eyes, before dropping his chin to his collarbone, pointing his whole body towards his train which is still closer to Jeff than it is to anyone or anything else.

“My train.”

Jeff side-eyes him whilst Milo moves a little closer, glancing back at Annie who is watching the both of them with curiosity.

“Milo, you can pick it up if you want, or you know, I’m sure _Jeff_ , _”_ She looks at him pointedly, “won’t bite if he bends down and gets it.”

“Oh, uh, sure.” She smiles thankfully, edging towards the corner of the counter with her hands perched on the edge to watch over. Jeff can’t help but feel like his every move is being scrutinised as he crouches down and plucks the tiny train from the floor, levelling himself so that he’s at Milo’s height, smiling as genuinely as he can at him who is looking back with nervous patience and hunched over shoulders.

“Here you go, buddy.” He grabs onto the train between Jeff’s fingers, his eyes perking up and squinting as he smiles.

“It’s my favourite train.”

“Oh, well, it’s…” Jeff looks at it in-between Milo’s tiny fingers and tilts his head, examining the red body and the yellow stripes across the plastic, “…very…”, he gulps, unsure of what to say, “…nice.”

“It’s really fast.”

Jeff’s struggling to think of what else to say to the toddler standing in front of him, seeing as he’s never had any experience with a child and he’s not sure what lengths you can really go with one, but then in the corner of his eye he spots Annie still standing intently watching, although now she has an infectious smile on her face as she looks at Milo beaming with pride at his new acquaintance who seems to be somewhat interested in part of his toy collection.

“I’m sure it is.” Jeff clasps his hands together, resting his forearms on his knees as he squats and gets more comfortable. His t-shirt stretches across his back as he leans forward and he hopes he’s not just imagining Annie’s eyes moving over from Milo to him. Not that she should ever pay more attention to a neighbour than her son because that’s just common sense.

“Mommy got it.”

“Oh, well that’s nice of her.” Jeff’s grin tightens as he angles his head up to Annie, tensing his jaw to sharpen his jawline because he is _really_ trying here for what he hopes isn’t a complete waste of time, “I’m sure she gets you _lots_ of things.”

“Mhm, ice cream!” Milo shoots both his arms up then, the train dropping back down to the ground again. Jeff bobs his head at himself, before picking up the train and standing.

“Oh, yes, Milo, we need to go the park. Good reminder. I mean, I’m still not promising you ice cream _today,_ especially after yesterday’s nightmare,” She rolls her eyes at Jeff before walking over to the stroller, “but we should go before it gets busy.”

“Oh yeah, I’ll… I can get out of your hair now.” Jeff’s rolling the train wheels across the palm of his hand as she announces their trip to the park, so he drops it almost immediately and straightens himself out.

“Okay, thank you, really. Once again, I really appreciate the coffee.” Annie returns and picks up the cup to rattle it around in the air, proving that is indeed empty, before stepping over to the door and opening it up.

“Yeah, no problem. Um, enjoy your trip to the park or whatever.” She clasps her hands around the door, displaying her manicure which is chipped around the edges but only so much that it’s noticeable up close. He takes the opportunity to stand partly in her space, trailing his eyes down her hair and biting his lip like he’s examining a piece of art before stepping back. “Maybe I’ll even see you there sometime if it’s the one with the playground. I run around the pathway some mornings.”

“It is! The one with the wooden bridges?” He hums in acknowledgement as he steps out into the hallway.

“But if not,” He plays it suggestively with his eyes, “you know where to find me. I’m good for all sorts of things.”

“I’m sure you are. Thank you.”

He backs into his door again just like last time, which she presumes he’s mastered into some sort of skill.

“The coffee. was okay, right? For next time?”

“It was fine, thank you.”

* * *

 

Life isn’t bad. Jeff’s experienced worse and overall, he’s started to conclude that teaching isn’t necessarily unenjoyable _._ It’s been over a year and although the idea of settling in for the long haul is still a frightening thought for the future, it’s starting to become _more_ terrifying to think about the papers sat waiting to be marked on his desk.

That’s probably his biggest irritation over the whole thing; the fact that teaching doesn’t mean _just_ teaching. It means having to mark work and set lesson plans and try and grade each student fairly, even though the majority of them don’t know the grammatical difference between ‘it’s’ and ‘its’. It’s also about managing how to reply to an email which sounds like an excuse but could also be the horrible sad truth that one of his students’ dog has died and he’ll need a few more days to work on the paper set about morality and personal beliefs when settling a case.

Life especially isn’t bad when there are still a few weeks left of the summer and he for once did the right thing and completed all the syllabi in the first few _days._ He should have taken advice from his student self for previous semesters because cramming all your work in as soon as possible so you can have the rest of the break to sit back, jerk off and eat (the lowest in calories) pizza on the couch isn’t the worst idea in the world, even if it means starting things off with your dining table scattered with paper and post-it notes. And when he needs a bit more than his TV and his laptop, there’s always Britta to entertain him in a going out and drinking sense, and Ian who sometimes tags along but seems to be slowly drifting back to his British roots without really explaining what’s going on.

Sometimes he’ll even accept an invite from an old firm buddy who happens to copy him to a group email like it’s old times. He tends to only accept on football nights, though so that he can blend into the background and gaze up at the TV of whatever dingy bar they’ve ended up in when the conversation becomes too work specific. If he had more friends he wouldn’t even think about replying to an email because they all know he’s not going to be returning and that his lawyer days are now over for at least the near future.

The only real thing making him respond (other than the news that Alan has moved on) is the fact that they still fill him with a sense of pride as they bow down and worship him for all the sly work he did before he got found out. It’s like they feed off what they believe is guts and ballsiness, even though Jeff can now only look back and see it all as an act of foolishness and laziness.

He was _good_ at his job. He was going to reach partner and maybe someday the firm would have been his, but the irony of it all was that the law bit him right back in his own butt and even his successes couldn’t disguise how he’d gotten there. He had to admit he had some of his dad’s conman blood inside of him; if it wasn’t for that, he might have pushed a little harder and proved he could do it with pen and paper rather than just his devilish grin and his overpowering stance in a courtroom. Maybe he even would have found the time to realise that those ‘its’ and ‘it’s’ aren’t actually the wrong way around; it’s just his partially dyslexic mind making things look more complicated than they really are.

It’s a miracle that he graduated and had that brief year of attempting to start again, even though he’s never been one to fall for such a God-like idea. If there was such a thing as a miracle, his dad would have turned around at the end of the road when he was eight, and come back as a different person.

The more time he has friendless, though, the more time he has to think about what else he could be doing, which leads to seeking out somebody he knows can attempt to try and answer all the endless bubbling questions in his mind. His latest therapist keeps him on his toes. She even states that - how he should find more people who keep him pushing forward and don’t let him trip over the small stuff. She also recommends he cuts down on his alcohol consumption, though, so he’s not sure how much of what she says he should genuinely listen to.

He knows she can speak some sort of sense him to him though, because every now and then she’ll mention a period of his life they’ve discussed before, or she’ll explain how she’d go about certain scenarios and he finds himself dropping his head to the floor with his hands clasped, realising he’s taking in every one of her words.

“If teaching is fulfilling you at this moment in time then I think you should stick with it. You need a sense of consistency in your life because you’ve had it stripped away from you time and time again, whether that’s because of outside influences or more internal ones which you might have been the cause for losing. You have a stable job, you have a stable lifestyle in a way that means you can afford most of what you have and choose to do… so, what else is there?

Think of your life as a, um… a battery charging up. Each little segment of that icon on your phone and every percentage is how much of your life you have filled up, a bit like a happiness charter. At one hundred percent, you’re happy and you continue what you’re doing; at fifty percent, you could be doing a lot more or perhaps you just need to change one or two of the elements, and at twenty-five percent, you need to rethink what makes you happy and what really fires you up. So, what charges you up? Whereabouts do you see yourself in relation to a percentage?”

She doesn’t force him to answer, because that’s part of keeping him on his toes; she leaves him hanging, with a question mark above his head that won’t go away until he’s fully had the time to accept the fact that she’s asked something of him and she’s expecting a little in return – well, more than what he pays her, anyway.

“I… I don’t know. Seventy? Sixty-five?”

“And that’s because you’re feeling fulfilled for the most part? Why sixty-five?”

“That’s just what I imagined when you were talking about percentages.”

“Okay, so what are you imagining the percentages to be made up of? Think of a pie chart if you must. Is your job part of it? If so, how much of it?”

“I don’t know, like, thirty-five percent.”

“Okay, so what do you fill the other thirty with? Because then you need to work out what’s left, and by that, I don’t mean, there’s nothing else left to experience or enjoy, I just mean, what’s left to secure your current need for consistency and stability?”

“I guess I’m okay with where I live.”

“Mhmm.”

“And you’re right, I can just about afford everything so it’s not like I’m unfortunate or going broke anytime soon, although credit cards are still an issue.”

“So, you’re fulfilled with what most would call the basics. But what about the emotional side of things? The things that we don’t necessarily need but the things we gravitate towards and things that comfort us, and make us happy in our minds, rather than from a physical perspective.”

“Like you said, they’re not necessary so I don’t need them.”

“What are ‘they’ to you? Perhaps it’s… experiences? Friendships? Companionship? Sex, even? Or, relationships? Jeff, when was the last time you were in somewhat of a serious relationship?”

“Oh yeah, I forgot, sex is a big fulfiller.”

She gives him a pity laugh; a tiny exhale through the nose, a tight-lipped smile and a dip of the chin and she scans the notepad in front of her.

“But, um, the last time… where we, actually we didn’t even sleep over and not have sex… um… probably about five years ago.”

She wets her fingers and turns a page before returning to the one she was writing on.

“The professor?” He nods so that she can continue, “Remind me; why did you break up?”

“I don’t know, she never really explained, but I think she moved on pretty quickly.”

“So, she moved on and left you for what seemed like no reason? And that hurt you?”

“I wouldn’t say it hurt me, I was just confused.”

“Do you think the ending of that relationship is a reason why you haven’t been in one since?”

“No, I haven’t been in a relationship because I don’t need to be in one. There’s more involved in a relationship. It’s not just, you know…”

“It’s more than just sex, it’s emotional, and there’s a risk you might lose something you can’t find anywhere else. You can go and sleep with whoever you like but you can’t find that same friendship and that same bond elsewhere. Does that resonate with anything else that’s happened in the past?”

He rolls his eyes because of course, it does.

“Was that relationship something you sought out?”

“Well, I sought out to sleep with her, yeah.”

“So, it started with something physical and ended with something more than that?”

“Sure.”

“Jeff, tell me, have you ever been in a relationship which has happened naturally? Something that you’ve fallen into naturally?”

“Not really.”

“Why do you think that is?”

“I don’t know… I’ve never really wanted to start a relationship… I guess, maybe, I…” Jeff sighs and hangs his head, clasping his hands between his legs before dropping them and sinking into the back of the couch in her office. It reminds him of a dentist reception, except it’s missing a thoroughly under cleaned fish tank and some tattered magazines. “…I shut myself out from really ever letting anything natural happen.”

“Because of the risk?”

“Because people don’t stick around, so why try and cling onto anything?”

“Yes, see that’s what I’m talking about. If you want to start out with something physical, then that’s up to you, but you should try not to shut out the idea of anything more happening before or after, because if you let something in naturally, you don’t have to make a choice to cling on or make it go anywhere, it _naturally_ progresses and you end up where you’re supposed to be.”

She sounds like she’s explaining some sort of happily ever after. The kind with princesses that fall into the arms of a passing stranger as she trips on a pumpkin, or you know, however, those fairy tales play out.

“Do you think that would be possible? To just let something happen? See where it goes without forcing the beginning or controlling how much you let out or let in? I know it’s not easy and you might not have thought about it in a while but there’s risk with anything and anyone Jeff, the question is whether you’re willing to take it.”

The drive back home after his appointment is one which leads to leaning his head back against the tiles of his shower, letting the water rush down over his face and shoulders like it’s washing away all of the thoughts and unresolved suggestions he now has to deal with. It also leads to a glass of scotch even though it was yet another session she brought up the idea of maybe, possibly stopping.

He tosses and turns all night and wakes up with his sheets only partially covering one side of his body. He coughs and runs his hands through his hair before sitting up on the edge of the bed before pushing off and finding a new pair of underwear and his work-out t-shirt to throw on with some shorts. He’s out the door within fifteen minutes because he knows if he doesn’t get out within a short amount of time, he’ll end up falling back into bed and his regime will slowly start to fade away and then he’ll be back to living out of his car because even the Dean would find him too unattractive to possibly continue paying.

He takes a route through several blocks where he passes the same dog walkers most mornings, dressed up in whatever they could find through bleary unclear eyes, as their four-legged friends woke them up at the crack of dawn. There’s one woman who is always obnoxiously bright and awake, though, with her neon pink and highlighter yellow running gear and her matching reflective dog lead which is clasped up to her scrawny rat-tailed companion. He’s certain it must be unhealthy for such a small creature to run at such pace for however far she runs after she turns off the sidewalk in the opposite direction from him.

He tries to avoid as many bus stops as he can after the one incident of overhearing a teenage girl turn to her peer and loudly exclaim her thoughts on his ‘hot’ appearance. He likes to blame his headphones for not doing a good enough job at blocking out voices he didn’t need to hear at quarter-past-seven that morning.

This morning, any of the few he does pass are all empty and deserted, probably because most teenagers aren’t hopping on a bus during the summer time, although he must admit when he was a teenager hopping on a bus was the only way to _have_ a summer time because he couldn’t afford a car of his own for much longer than he wanted to admit – but that was the late eighties, kids these days are more interested in saving the planet and sharing rides than getting away in whatever they can.

The laces of his sneakers come undone so he ties them up on a park bench and uses the quick pit stop to flick through the songs in his current playlist before pushing off again, turning the three or four corners there are left before his feet hit the lightly gravelled path that he circles for a good amount of laps each time he runs. He tests his limits when he can, pumping his legs harder and his stamina as far as it can go before his mind and his body remembers its age. His earbuds fall out as he bends over and leans his hands against his thighs, exhausted.

He looks up then, a bead of sweat trickling down his forehead, catching in his brow as he stares off into the middle of the park. His feet make the decision for him, stepping up into a light breezy jog across the neatly trimmed grass. He runs his fingers through his hair for a final time before smiling tightly, trying not to exhale too heavily through his nose as he continues to recover from his run.

“Wooden bridges?” Jeff raises an eyebrow and points out a finger to the playground in front of him, not paying too much attention to the other people around him, especially not the two-foot-high ones because he knows staring at children in public when you’re obviously childless and single isn’t usually a great mix.

Annie’s squinted as she sits on one of the benches off to the side, obviously tracking the feet of Milo as he dodges in and out of wherever he’s playing. She looks different outside of the apartment block, older, in fact. Her chin is tipped upwards and her lips are parted and she has this air of confidence even more so than the two times he’s been in her presence so far. She mustn’t have heard him but he can see her catch the sight of him in the corner of her eye, looking over and glancing down the length of him, tilting her head and smiling in what he assumes is confusion.

“Jeff…?”

He takes it as a cue. He bobs his head and leans himself forward before heading towards her in two long strides.

“I told you I ran around here, remember?”

“That you did.” She nods with a grin as she indeed remembers, her eyeline shifting from Jeff and Milo every few seconds.

“I was about to ask what are you doing here, but I think that’s pretty obvious.”

“Yeah, well, actually I’m not really doing anything because I take the time he’s at the park to just sit and relax for half an hour. He knows how to climb and use everything now so it’s a lot easier. Um, you can sit down if you want? You can take it as my nice neighbourly gesture.”

When she looks back at him he has an arm in the air, his hand scratching around at the nape of his neck. She doesn’t spend too long looking at him, but it’s easy to come to the conclusion that running a few times a week probably isn’t the only form of exercise he does.

“Sure. I know it might not look like it, but I could do with sitting down.” She rolls her eyes as he stands nearer, waiting for her to move the sippy cup and miniature hoody beside her. She crams them into the bottom of the stroller, keeping her eyes up and focused on one area of the playground, giving Jeff the time to remind himself of why he’s even trying.

The dress she’s wearing today is snug around her curves, in a purple shade that brings out the different specks of blue in her eyes when she turns back to face him. He’s never been someone who thinks too much about eyes, but hers seem to keep pulling him in for more like he’s hungry to see what else they can do to him.

“So, you’re on your summer vacation, right? How much longer do you have?”

He looks zoned out but then he moves his left arm up and around the back of the bench, stretching his legs out simultaneously before answering.

“I have about two weeks.”

“Oh nice, I have a couple of days off still but then I’m back to full-time. It was nice while it lasted, although I have to say I have missed it. Ooh, Milo! Milo!”

He blinks at her dumbfoundedly, focusing on her until her son scurries up towards her, a red face and a tear rolling down his face. Jeff moves his arm and sits up, making room for Milo’s feet as Annie picks him up and settles him down in her lap.

“Did you bump your head?” He nods and whines, rubbing just above one of his ears with the heel of his hand.

“Okay well, I think it was just a small bump so there’s nothing to worry about. I’ll give it a kiss better okay?” He nods again against her chest, sulking before widening his eyes as he takes in Jeff in front of him.

“Hey, buddy.” Jeff speaks up, making Annie turn and smile whilst she strokes down Milo’s hair.

“This is Jeff remember? He lives next door at home.” Jeff’s watching them both, but not quite smiling back because his mind is still going over Annie’s words about working full time.

“You had my train!” Milo’s perkiness in his voice shakes Jeff out of it, making him smirk and nod with raised eyebrows. “Mommy, can I get down?”

“Drink some juice first.” Annie leans over him the best that she can to retrieve his sippy cup, his hands clenching around it as he takes a pull and a gulp of the watered down red juice inside the blue plastic.

“So, you really work full time?”

“Hmm?”

“You’re working full time, with…?” He doesn’t need to explain, he trails off suggestively enough.

“Oh, yeah, yeah I am.”

“That must be…” Jeff shakes his head, watching Milo’s feet kick against her knees.

“Hard work? A little, but my career is really important to me so it’s just about finding the right balance. If I could afford it then there would be no question over whether I’d be doing it full time.” She watches him for a moment, trying to read the expression on his face. “What about you? How long have you been teaching?”

“Just over a year. It’s a long story.”

She nods and he catches her amused little smirk, so he looks away and tries not to analyse it.

Milo stops sucking at his drink, letting the bottle gurgle as he drops it down into Annie’s open hand, before lifting it back up again, dangling it precariously in front of Jeff.

“Do you want juice?”

Annie’s laughing when Jeff finally acknowledges his offer.

“I’m fine thanks.”

Annie tilts her head and drops her voice to a hushed tone.

“He likes to ask everyone if they want a drink in case they get too thirsty.”

Jeff matches her tone and breathes out, “Ohh.”

“My therapist tells me I drink too much already anyway, so.” He shrugs and scrunches up his nose at Milo, pulling out a giggle from him even though he probably only understood the second half of what Jeff was saying.

“Let’s play!” Milo announces, sliding from Annie’s lap before scurrying off, the announcement not being as much of an invitation as it sounded.

“Do you have much experience with kids?” Annie asks, taking a sip from Milo’s juice before clipping the lid down and putting it back away.

“Er no, they’re kind of like aliens to me, I mean as in, the _idea_ of them seems alien to me, not that your son is anything like an alien.” Jeff shakes his head, making sure he’s clear.

“Not even nieces or nephews?”

“I’m the only one.”

“I have a brother but, it’s a long story.” They smile back at each other before looking back out at the playground, sitting in silence until Annie shoots up and sits straight, looking around for her purse. She finds what she’s looking for, holding out her phone in her lap.

“Is it okay if I get your number?” Jeff’s sure he’s soon going to be aching from some form of air caused whiplash from how fast he turns at her question. “I’d only use it for emergencies, it’s just because I’m on my own and I haven’t introduced myself to many people in our block yet. I promise I’d only use it for that.”

“Sure. Absolutely.”

“Do you mind?” She passes him her phone and lets him add it in. She watches his fingers against the screen, tapping away at a speed she’s never seen before. He slides a page across and down, before picking up his phone from the edge of the bench. She presumes he’s typing in her number too.

“There.”

“Thank you.” She slips her own phone back into her purse when he passes it back, tucking her hair behind her ear when she glances back at him. He’s smirking.

“And don’t worry about it, you can use it for whatever you want.”

He watches her for a while before he checks the time and excuses himself, stretching out his arms and his legs one by one before putting in an earbud and jogging on because it’s probably about time to go their separate ways. She follows his path, glancing at Milo to find him waving in Jeff’s direction. Milo turns and catches on to his mom’s smile, standing up with some sand in his hand that floats and drifts through the air as he walks.

“Where’s Jeff going?”

She strokes his cheek to brush away a couple of grains of sand clinging to his skin.

“He’s going home.”

“Can we go home?”

“Maybe have five more minutes?”

He nods and squeals at the sky, joining a girl back in the pit who seems to want to make it rain with golden sand. Annie squirms at the sight, making a note to wash Milo’s hair as soon as possible. She takes one more look at the path where Jeff was running when she hears a vibration in her purse.

JEFF: Hey it’s Jeff I’ll leave a coffee @ ur door :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter every Sunday from now on...


	3. Gives Me an Excuse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Soo…”  
> “I know you don’t mind spanking, but do you want me to slap you in the face?” He grins down at her once he’s done cursing at the roof above them.  
> “…can I just say one thi-.”  
> “No.”  
>  _“I’m just saying it’s_ really _obvious you want to sleep with her…”_

There’s mail to collect on her way back upstairs, so Annie parks a fast-asleep Milo and his stroller to one side as she finds her key and unlocks the small clunky green box allocated to their apartment number. She’s worked out that the busiest time in the block is when people are coming home from work, dashing in and out in smart suits and specific work uniforms, her presence going unnoticed as she too is still in her blouse and fitted navy pants from a full day at work.

Milo fell asleep as soon as he was strapped up in the car, which she knows she’ll appreciate for the thirty minutes it takes her for her to unpack her bag and change into something comfier, but will soon come to regret, when she’s sat on the couch twiddling her thumbs because she’s not sure what he’ll want for dinner without asking.

There are only two letters in the box, though; a bill which needs to be paid by the end of the week and a leaflet from a local business from someone who’s had access to what she expects is everyone’s letterboxes. It takes her a moment to work out what the bill is for, so she stands to squint through the tiny see-through window in the envelope, which sends a chill down her spine every time she’s in possession of one. It reminds her of the many letters that used to stack up on her Dad’s desk when she was younger, and the stern look she’d get from both of her parents if she ever reached up to scrunch them up to her ear in able to listen to the satisfying crinkle of the plastic. She would never have guessed it would only be ten years until she’d be receiving her very own because they’d left her at the wayside.

She’s become acquainted with a couple more of the residents over the past few days, like the elderly woman, Maggie, who lives a few doors down. It had been a brief introduction as she had a jam jar in hand and was adamant she only knew of one person who could open it when Annie offered, so she was walking on before the conversation started flowing beyond condiments and toast toppings.

“Can I get my mail?”

“Huh, oh my…” Annie takes a deep inhale of breath before breathing outwards slowly, holding the bill to her chest with one hand so she can use her other to steady herself on the stroller.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“You might not have _meant_ it, but you most definitely did.”

Jeff tilts his head before edging out of her space by a couple of steps, trying to conceal his amused smirk by looking down at his sneaker-clad feet. He’s wearing jeans and a long sleeve top, both articles of clothing hugging his figure like a latex glove without the sheer rubber to see what’s underneath. It’s fairly obvious, though, as she watches him fold in his smile and rock back on his heels, trying not to break his façade of being patient and collected; he has a body that would seduce most women in a heartbeat, with a jawline to then knock them to their knees so they can perform whatever he demands of them. He looks back at her and folds his arms over.

“Are you going to move or shall I just reach right over the top of you?” She raises an eyebrow as he steps closer and raises an arm above her head, his fingertips brushing the number of the mailbox above her own. She sighs and steps out from beneath the arc he’s created over her, unlocking the wheels of the stroller so she can move on.

He coos out a thank you in a sing-song voice before unlocking his box in one swift motion, grabbing the stack of letters and the small parcel residing inside of it. He can hear the elevator opening behind him where Annie’s already walking in, so he clicks the box shut and dashes to the left so he can turn his body to the side and just make it in time before the doors slide closed.

Annie smiles as he stands beside her, and it feels like every time they’re seeing each other it’s just a repeat of the previous time and the one before that. It must just be because he’s the only one to have _tried_ with her, and the fact that they live so close by to one another that she senses something more significant about it all. She watches him glance over at the stroller as if he’s in need of confirmation that Milo is asleep before he speaks up.

“You never called.” Jeff watches her in the reflection ahead of them instead of turning his head; watching her before she gets the chance to decide on how to react. He can see the furrow between her brow form and then dissipate as she makes eye contact with him. He looks different in his reflection – as most people do, she thinks -, softer, because his smirk and his jawline are in a different direction so he can’t achieve the same harsh and sculpted effect.

“I was… supposed to have… called you?”

His lips purse as the doors open so she can’t see his eyes widen without facing him. The elevator sounds a loud bell chime making Milo’s body tense and his mouth open in a yawn. She has to walk on towards their door because he’s bound to wake up any second now, so she attempts to apologise with the look on her face as Jeff watches her leave. She still has her keys in hand from the mailbox, so she unlocks it easily enough, closing it behind her as Milo speaks up for the first time in a good forty minutes. She can still hear Jeff in the hallway, though, his footsteps coming to a halt as he watches her go, and his only just audible muttered words as he stands in bafflement.

“Huh, she really doesn’t know I’m hitting on her.”

He goes for another attempt at the park a couple of days later because time is seriously ticking until he’ll have even less of a chance of getting to know her better, and honestly at this rate, he’ll take whatever he can get. He finds himself in a lull of nostalgia when he somehow times things perfectly and spots her crossing the pathway when he’s on his sixth lap around; it’s like he’s being magnetically pulled in like he did when he first had a crush on a girl at school – it took him a while to figure out why she seemed so interesting and mysterious to him.

“Oh, hey look, we meet again.” He jogs up beside her, raising his eyebrows whilst opening his mouth to interact with Milo who is looking up at him. He waves before a dog catches his attention.

“We do, but this is literally my life so it’s not surprising.” She slows her pace and waves a hand in front of her to demonstrate the park that is so say, her life. She doesn’t want to think too hard about why he keeps appearing in her day to day, but it seems friendly and innocent enough because he hasn’t crossed any boundaries or gone any further than they already have.

“Are you coming or going?”

“Oh no, we’re just arriving.” He nods and watches her as she rolls her eyes and suggestively manoeuvres them off the path towards the playground. They end up on the wooden bench again, but this time Milo lingers and jumps up and down between them, craning his neck up to look at Jeff and analyse the male figure in front of him.

“You were running.” Milo’s pronunciation of running comes out closer to ‘wunning’ or ‘nunning’ as he smiles and points to the track they were walking on. Jeff laughs under his breath and glances at Annie before nodding and responding.

“I _was_ running. Can _you_ do running?”

“Yep.” He smiles and proudly lifts his chin even higher, making Jeff grin in awe because even he can’t deny it’s downright adorable. Milo’s thin and choppy brown fringe is dangling down into his round blue eyes which are even wider due to the expression on his face.

“What else can you do?” Annie watches him, and the smile and excitement in her eyes makes Jeff realise that her biggest reaction to anything is usually caused by her son. He leans in.

“Um… flying!” Milo throws a hand up in the air, dropping it down with a slam on the wood, barely flinching.

“Hmm? Really? I’m not sure you can fly.” Annie shakes her head before smoothing down some of his fringe, kissing his temple whilst she’s at it.

“He can fly if he wants to.” Jeff shrugs, looking over his mostly revealed shoulder which is looking even more tanned by the minute. Annie opens her mouth in shock, but there’s a hint of amusement in there somewhere, so he looks right back challengingly.

“Oh, so you’re the expert about to tell my son that he can _fly?”_

He shrugs again, looking towards Milo as he twirls around on the spot.

“I’m saying you can just pick him up and you know,” Jeff demonstrates by holding his hands in the air, twisting them from side to side, _“flying.”_

Annie sticks her tongue into the side of her cheek before knocking her elbow into his hip, playfully. Jeff grits his jaw as the nudge lingers on his skin, even when he moves and smirks back at her.

“So, what else _can_ you do then, buddy?” Annie makes note of the fact it’s not the first-time Jeff’s used ‘buddy’ to talk to her son, and how Milo has yet to react even though the last time he was called something different – Miles, specifically – he threw a tantrum.

“Jumping! Throwing! And catching! And… driving!”

Jeff squints before leaning back so he’s level with Annie.

“Okay, you might be right in telling me _not_ to tell him he can drive. Yet, anyway.”

“Actually,” She bobs her head, “if he ever talks about driving, he’s talking about the one time I put him on my lap, _whilst_ the car was stationary I might add, so he could see what the steering wheel was.”

“Oh…” Jeff nods along with her as she smiles and tries to justify the story. She’s soon smiling back at Milo, though, who’s jumping on the spot whilst using the edge of the bench for balance and leverage.

“Go on then, don’t stand here all day. We’re not very exciting, are we?” She raises her eyebrows and pulls a face when he stops jumping and acknowledges her suggestion. He turns his shoes in the patch of grassless chalky mud before walking over to the nearest activity of a wobbly wooden bridge that a couple of children are climbing on.

“How _dare_ you.” Jeff exclaims, stretching an arm along the back of the bench so he can close part of the gap between them.

“Excuse me?” She looks at him quizzically, her eyes drifting to his arm momentarily.

“How _dare_ you say I’m not exciting. I’m _very_ exciting.” He drops his voice, lingering on the word ‘very’ before he smirks and licks his lips, earning himself a shake of her head.

“Oh really?”

“Mhmm. You just have to give me a chance to show you.”

She laughs breathily, biting her lip to stop herself from slipping out the word ‘smooth’. It’s more than likely that’s not his intent and that it’s just her lack of experience over the past few years that is picking up mixed signals, so she stays quiet.

“What about you?” Jeff flicks his chin up, watching her closely, “You’re young; you _have_ to be exciting.”

“You’re right, I’m very exciting. Last night, I read six different children’s stories to my almost three-year-old son because he wouldn’t fall asleep unless I got through _every_ single one of them. _Then,_ I sat by his door for an hour because he woke up every time I tried to leave, and at three o’clock in the morning, I had to stop him crying because he thought he’d dropped his blanket out of the crib when in fact it was covering his feet.”

As she talks, she’s staring out to where Milo is stood, tilting his head from side to side as he waits his turn for the slide. As she carries on listing the events of the previous night, Jeff finds his smile growing wider as he leans back and watches her lips mouth out words. She turns as he reaches a grin.

“The stories must be pretty exciting for him to want _six_ of them, right?” She smiles back briefly before sighing in response.

“You have an interesting sounding job, though, what about that?” Annie hums in thought, thinking back to the latest ‘exciting’ moment at work, other than a story which will have her babbling on about all the intrinsic details, using scientific phraseology to explain what she works on.

“A few days ago, a colleague lost a file and our boss went ballistic and made the whole office turn the place upside down. It’s a similar story to Milo’s blanket, now that I think about it.” Jeff tilts his head, as she pauses to watch the child commotion going on in front of her. She jumps back into the conversation when she realises Milo’s tottering around elsewhere, “Our boss found it on her desk three hours later.”

There’s a dip in conversation which leads Jeff to thinking about what would class him as exciting if he was being serious rather than attempting to be quick-witted and charming. He lists out the fact that he works out vigorously in his mind, before adding on the fact he knows how to win a paintball war, and how to get laid during one, and how he can drive one of the ancient KFC Herbs & Space Experience Winnebago’s, and how he should really be laughing at himself for thinking that any of this makes him _exciting._

“Mommy!” Annie sits up in a jolt as she scans the playground. Jeff’s eyes land on where she’s looking; Milo’s pointing up to some monkey bars above him which are in no way in reach of his fingertips. Annie sighs and shakes her head at him, talking to herself (or Jeff) under her breath from where she’s sat.

“No Milo, you can’t go on the monkey bars built for teenagers and fitness geeks who can’t afford the gym.” Jeff snorts at the latter part of her statement,

“What? I can’t hold his weight for that long.” Jeff looks back at her like a deer in the headlights, not having meant to have caused some kind of irritation. His eyes land back on Milo and he’s standing up before he has a chance to think it through.

“I can…” He throws a thumb over his shoulder in Milo’s direction.

“Oh no, I don’t thin-.”

“For five minutes? If you want me to, obviously. I just, I have these for more than one reason.” He flexes his arm in the air, which has her laughing because she knows she’s about to say yes just so she can make Milo happy. He’s still standing, reaching on his tippy toes.

“If you take my child, I will slit your throat.” She looks at him, deadpan and inexpressive and he gulps because he can see how serious she is. Her eyes have more than one capability, he realises.

“I won’t, and you know where I live if I do.”

“Oh great.” She says through a forced smile before he nods and walks over to where her son is standing. Annie stands up, _just in case,_ glancing down at Milo’s toy car and his sippy cup in contemplation as to whether she should just pack things up and join them. She stays put, though, watching as Jeff hunches over and rests his hands on his thighs so he can say hello to Milo.

“Hey… buddy.” Jeff grits his teeth as Milo sticks his bottom lip out in a pout. He looks over his shoulder at Annie where she’s standing with a mix of concern and amusement on her face.

“Um… do you want to go on the monkey bars?” He points up above them, letting Milo’s eyes follow the curve of his arm.

“Mommy…” Milo points himself, towards Annie who’s smiling and shrugging up her shoulders.

“Yeah, she said I could help you because… are you heavy?” Milo shakes his head swiftly.

“Well, I don’t think she can hold you up for very long but I can try if you want me to?”

“Mommy!” Milo calls out again, taking Jeff a few moments to realise that he’s not calling out to show her the exciting and brave thing he’s about to do, but to get the strange bearded man out of his face. Annie watches Jeff physically retract and back away from Milo, holding his hands in the air. She rolls her eyes and gathers their belongings before joining them.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know how to work kids so…” Jeff stands and chews on the inside of his cheek.

“It’s fine, it’s not your fault. Hey sweetie, are you going on the monkey bars?” She immediately consoles Milo, patting him on the shoulder to let him lean into her leg.

“I should go anyway…” Jeff mumbles.

“Oh okay.” She kisses Milo on the crown of his hair, holding out his toy car for him to grab onto.

“No Mommy, monkey bars!”

Annie pouts and raises an eyebrow at Jeff before he walks away. He scoffs and walks back over, smiling as Milo lifts his arms up and awaits some extra help. Annie watches as Jeff effortlessly guides him up to the bars above him, Milo’s face inches away from Jeff’s own because the height of the bars are nothing to him.

“And hey look, he’s kind of flying.” Jeff tilts his head and grins at Annie who laughs back before widening her eyes at the sight of Jeff’s hands moving.

“Don’t let go of him!”

“I’m not going to let go of him, I’m not _that_ bad with kids.”

“You’re not bad at all actually, you should give yourself more credit. I know some people who would be a lot worse.” She smiles genuinely, but her eyes are glued to Milo who’s dangling his legs and kicking in the air towards Jeff’s chest.

They stay there for a few minutes, moving Milo to the next bar until he reaches the end, with Annie taunting him by nibbling at his legs every now and then. He squeals and kicks and almost puts a foot in Jeff’s eye, making him call out something about his money-maker face that Milo doesn’t understand. Annie stands back at one point and catches sight of a parent duo watching them. She tucks her hair behind her ear and gives them a polite smile before accepting Milo from Jeff’s arms.

“I should genuinely get going now, but… I’m glad I could make _someone’s_ day a bit more exciting.”

“Thank you, but just so you know, he probably won’t stop talking about this and you’ll be expected to join us every time we come to the park.”

Jeff shrugs before brushing some dirt from his running vest, the fabric tugging and revealing more skin.

“Gives me an excuse to run.”

* * *

 

“Those presentations drive me insane. Greendale is always going to be a toilet, so I don’t see why at the start of every semester they try and tell us that suddenly, it’s not going to be the place that everybody craps in. The students here aren’t going to turn civilised overnight and go and wash their butts in a bidet. And _wow,_ that was a worse metaphor than one of yours.”

“It’s been the worst since Frankie came in.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, you’re still the worst. Plus, how can you talk, you like her.”

“I like how she views the world and doesn’t take anyone’s crap, not necessarily the way she goes about things.”

Jeff rolls his eyes and turns into his office, pushing the door open but not holding it so it almost slams directly into Britta’s face. She stops short before entering completely, slumping down in one of the chairs opposite his own, her feet kicked up on the edge of his desk just missing a stack of papers being held down by a glass weight. She watches him get out his phone and scroll through the pages whilst picking at her nails. He glances up at her before looking down again.

“I am _so_ glad we don’t share the same office.”

“What’s that supposed to mean, jackass?” He tilts his head at her question, blinking obviously at her feet.

“Pfft, like you care, you’ve probably had sex on this desk a hundred times by now.”

“Not once actually because I have a little more self-respect than some people.”

“Says the pig who begged me to take off his pants in a classroom.”

“It was a _study room_ and it’s different because I don’t have to think about it every day.”

“We’ve had sex in classrooms, or are you thinking of the only time you ever actually made me come?”

“They weren’t _our_ classrooms, but oh wait, you don’t have a classroom because you’re a shrink! You sit in an office all day and wait for people to complain about their problems!” He raises his empty hand and grins at her sarcastically. She shoves the heel of her shoe against his work.

“Hey careful, I’m the one who got you that job so I’d watch it if I were you. What are you still doing here anyway?”

“What are _you_ still doing here?”

“This is my office.”

“And? There was only the one presentation, aren’t you usually running off by now?”

“I don’t know, I have things to sort out and set straight. Again, I’m a _teacher,_ you’re just a _shrink.”_ He nods at her with a scrunched-up nose patronisingly,

“I teach!” Jeff stares at her blankly, waiting for whatever she has to follow herself up, “I teach the knowledge of a healthy, happy mind.”

“Whatever, I have to go and print something off. Don’t steal anything for your own office whilst I’m gone.” He drops his phone on top of a book before standing to hold his laptop under his arm and vacate the room.

“Wouldn’t dream of it!” Britta calls out, letting the door swing shut before stretching forward to his phone which he seems to have forgotten out of carelessness; the printing room is only one door down so she presumes he’s left it because he won’t be away from it for long. She’d analyse it for longer if it wasn’t for the fact his lock number is still the same combination of numbers as it’s always been, which he should have learned from. There were too many times to count where he’d walk back into her bedroom and find his phone in her grasp.

The printer is out of paper which means a trip to Frankie’s office and a form to fill out for office supplies because too many students have been caught stealing paper from the printer to allow Greendale to leave packets of sheets lying around. He unplugs his laptop, shuts the lid in a huff and pulls the door firmly closed with a slam because there isn’t anyone around to scare or tell him off for ‘disrespecting the building’. He walks back into his office without muttering a word to Britta, flicking over _used_ paper and rummaging through folders he’s yet to put away to find his phone that he could have sworn he’d left cleverly positioned on his notebook.

He frowns before double checking his pockets, his laptop still under his arm.

“Britta, did you see where I lef… t, my. _Phone._ ” He grimaces at her and flares his nostrils before lunging forward and pulling it away with ease. He doesn’t want to know what she’s done, but her face is full of guilt and she’s sitting in the seat with her knees pulled up to her chest now, so he’s going to have to face the facts and work out her well-earned punishment.

“I told you not to touch my stuff, which includes my phone because I _own_ _it._ Let me remind you; who got you your job? Now, I’m not so much of a douchebag to make you lose it, but I am as much of a douchebag to run over your bike with my car, to which you use to get to your job every morning.”

“Mhmm.” She squeaks with her mouth pulled into a fish pout. She lets her feet settle one by one, her hands clenching around the arm rests so she can make a run for it if she has to. Jeff takes a deep breath before unlocking his phone, double clicking the home button so that he can see the most recently opened apps.

“Oh my _lord._ ” He shakes his head and grits his teeth. “Britta, this isn’t high school okay. You can’t just take my phone and message whoever you like.”

“Oh pfft, come off it Jeff, they didn’t have mobile phones when you were in high school.”

“That’s _beside the point!”_ Britta knows that if Jeff was a cartoon from the decade of which he _was_ at high school, he’d have steam coming from his ears. “This isn’t the first time you’ve done this. Why is this okay? When have I ever done this?”

“Does _Marcus_ ring any bells?”

“How was I supposed to know he was your _nephew?!_ You have no idea who this person is, and now you’ve invited them to your dumb stupid bar party.”

“Yeah, because you were never going to tell me who it was. I had to find out what’s going on in your life, somehow dummy.”

“No _dummy_ okay. I’m not a dummy, _you’re_ the dummy.” He breathes through his nose and out again, licking his lips before adding on, “Do you want to know who she is? She’s my new neighbour. She lives on her own and she has a kid. Oh, and that message you saw, I bought her coffee because she was moving in and I thought it might be nice because I remember moving in and nobody cared a _shit_ about me, so, there you go. That’s what’s going on in my life Britta. I’m being a nice person.”

He breezes past her in a strop, yanking on the door before being stopped because his phone chimes and there’s no escaping Britta chasing him down to find out if it was _her._

JEFF: Hi

ANNIE: Hello! :)

JEFF: A friend is having a party this Saturday do u want 2 come? Vatican bar 7.30 2 midnight

ANNIE: You’re inviting me? If I can get my babysitter, then I’d love to do something different!

He can feel Britta moving around him in the doorway, so he lifts his head and stares at the damp ceiling.

“Soo…”

“I know you don’t mind spanking, but do you _want_ me to slap you in the face?” He grins down at her once he’s done cursing at the roof above them.

“…can I just say _one_ thi-.”

“No.”

 _“I’m just saying it’s_ really _obvious you want to sleep with her…_ ” Britta mumbles, looking at the floor because she knows he’s heard her.

“What?”

“The first time you bought me coffee you _openly_ admitted you wanted to sleep with me. It was a hardcore, _Chang_ style, asshole pick up line and coffee giving move. I actually feel sorry for her.”

“Well then, you can text her and tell her who _really_ invited her, can’t you?”

“Oh, shut up, you’ll be thanking me when she comes.” Britta clicks her finger at herself, “I see what I did there… I mean, not that you’ll get her off. Have I ever told you you’re bad at sex?”

Before he has the chance to send an equally as snarky retort back her way, she’s spinning on her heels with the hair she doesn’t want to admit she curls every morning, swaying in his face.

“Later Winger!”

Her heels click against the floor until she opens the doors out into the quad and they fade away.

“What in this hell hole just _happened?!_ ”

* * *

 

For the first time since the apartment block has been graced by her presence, Jeff spends his drive home hoping that Annie won’t be in the hallway or outside his door or by the mailboxes or in the parking lot or anywhere where he has to awkwardly fumble through trying to explain why he ‘wants her to come on Saturday’.

He knows the party is going to be lame because it’s Britta’s bar and the only reason she’s put it together is to ring in some last-minute cash before her days of bartending are cut short so she can pursue the career she genuinely wants to be a part of. There’s supposed to be a band playing in a small dark corner and the booze is going to be flowing at an uncontrollable rate, so he’s having a really hard time picturing her there.

Obviously being a mom doesn’t mean she doesn’t drink, but by the sounds of things she hasn’t been out of the toddler filled world in a while and introducing her to The Vatican will probably only reinforce the idea of staying there for longer next time.

But she seems _interested_ and he can’t bring himself to stop her if it means she _does_ get out and that there’s more chance he’ll get what he so badly denied to Britta that he wanted. The flirting and the walking out with another girl might not be as awkward if Britta is already aware of it too, so he ends up deciding upon responding with a quick ‘Sure’ when he gets home, answering any basic questions about driving and parking and ‘the friend’, if and when they come up.

Of course, though, he can’t always get what he wants and hoping always ends with disappointment in reality, so as soon as he keys in the door to his apartment, he hears a click behind him and he knows he’s going to have fumble through the ‘Sure’ and the questions up front and in person.

“Oh, um, Jeff?”

He fixes on a smile with his back facing her before turning. She’s in a combination of smart and comfy clothes by the looks of things like she’s just got home herself and is in the middle of changing; her hair is up in a messy bun which emphasises how petite and perfectly formed her face is.

Her loose sweater is hanging on one side of her shoulder to reveal the smooth line of her collarbone and the dip of her cleavage, which has him holding himself back from cursing under his breath because _of course_ she’s going to say yes to the party and end up looking like a million dollars even though she changed a diaper or cleared up baby vomit before she left the house. She probably scrubs up nicer than himself and will end up exchanging numbers with more than just a handful of guys and Britta will be sniggering over her beer bottle because she somehow _knew._

She’ll end up ranting about how women have an inherent sixth sense because they’re in touch with one another in more ways than a man will ever be - or something like that.

“Hey there.”

“I didn’t want to jump out like I’d be waiting on you, I mean, I kind of have, but just because I didn’t get a reply and seeing as we live next door and everything… I totally understand if you were just inviting me out of politeness so you’re more than welcome to change your mind…”

“Um, no, the offer still stands.”

“Oh! Great! Thank you… I haven’t really been out in a while because I don’t really get invited to things at work because they all know about Milo, and getting my babysitter isn’t always easy but I think she’s free.”

He nods, blinking to distract himself from her sweater, trying not to think too hard about the fact he’s only just realising she can’t be wearing a bra – or she is, but it’s strapless and that’s a whole different and dangerous route to go down.

“Maybe don’t expect anything too spectacular, the friend is Britta, she works there so she’s a little biased towards its greatness.”

“Noted.” She bobs her head, glancing back into her open door to see Milo sat on the couch eating his dinner on a plastic plate.

“Are you driving?” Annie asks when she looks back, her eyebrows raised in question.

“I’m probably gonna’ grab a cab, I don’t know how much I’ll be drinking.”

She bobs her head again in a continuous motion, biting her lip in thought.

“You could ride with me if you want?” It’s out of Jeff’s mouth before he can stop it; it’s rather difficult to change the beginning of the sentence into anything but.

“Oh really, are you sure?”

“Totally.” He shakes his head as speaks, not meaning to send mix messages because he’s using it as a gesture towards himself rather than her. He should have just stuck with a simple ‘Sure’, but you know; an enclosed space, a quick ‘do you want to come back to mine?’ and maybe it won’t be such a bad idea after all.

“I’ll see you on Saturday then?”

“Sure, I’ll meet you out here at…” He raises an eyebrow and grits his teeth because, in the moment of Britta-directed outrage, he’d not paid that much attention to detail.

“Seven thirty?”

He sighs with relief.

“Exactly, because _that_ is the time I said.”

“Mommy!” Milo calls out just as she laughs and tilts her head at him, so he grins before finally entering his apartment.

Frankie had been going home when he’d reached her office so she’d found his much-needed paper without mentioning the forms and without taking stock, so he settles down on his bed with some scotch in hand and lets the TV flicker on in front of him whilst he sorts out the now-printed-on paper into different lesson folders. He falls asleep amongst his work even though it’s only early evening, waking up a few hours later in a frantic, damp sweaty panic because he doesn’t know if he’ll have anything to wear in two days’ time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual please leave comments and kudos or message me with questions at @harryspaceshipmchale on Tumblr.  
> Chapters posted every Sunday...


	4. Right and Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She’s never really needed anyone to cheer her up or keep her morale boosted, in fact, she’s never really needed anyone for anything because once you’re alone, she’s learnt; you’re alone. You end up becoming needed by other people.

Jeff was right in warning her that the bar wouldn’t be anything spectacular, although Annie has to admit she hasn’t got much experience to go on to know what a spectacular one _would_ be like. She expects it wouldn’t have sticky wood tables, though, or groups of large and balding men holding onto pillars dotted around the room, and the number plates on the wall would be staying on rather than falling off when you walk past.

The cab ride hadn’t been long enough for any awkward moments to ensue. Jeff had indeed met her in the hallway at half past, dressed up in a dark pair of jeans and a navy-blue shirt with a recognisable designer print inside its collar. He’d taken a look at her with parted lips, nodding before smirking and leading her onto the elevator. She wasn’t sure on the dress code and since she hasn’t worn anything much more than a summer dress and suit in what seems like forever, she just threw on a blouse and some pants which she knew didn’t have any stains on.

Milo had been fussing before Shirley had arrived, but her presence was a welcome distraction meaning she could sneak away and leave her to try and get him back to sleep. She had sons of her own and years more of experience, so even though it was often hard to let somebody else take on the responsibility, it was a lot easier to do so when it was her.

In the cab, Jeff had sat with his legs open, rubbing his hands up and down his thighs every now and then whilst leaning over slightly to look out her window, acknowledging her view as if he was joining in on a conversation they weren’t having. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from her it seemed; every time she returned a glance he’d quickly whip his head around and clench his jaw.

She supposed it was a boundary being somewhat broken. He didn’t have to invite and she didn’t have to accept, and there was no need for them to be sharing a ride together other than for ease and for economy or whatever he mumbled about the environment as they stood on the sidewalk.

When he pointed at the turning towards the bar, she’d opened her purse to find some cash but he’d put his hand on her knee and crossed his head. When her eyes met with his fingers, he slowly moved them away and left his hand tapping on the curve of the seat between them like they needed something new to entertain themselves with. As the bar drew closer, though, he moved it and pulled out his own cash, handing it to the driver as he pulled to a stop.

Jeff is a gentleman, or at least tries to be, Annie realised as he was holding the door of the cab open so she could manoeuvre her way over the back seats to the safe side of the road. He even placed a hand on the small of her back as they passed a couple of straggling bar goers on the outside. She felt it fall away as they walked in, though, and caught a glimpse of him in the corner of her eye, rubbing the back of his neck with the same palm.

That’s where she finds herself, looking back at him with wide eyes because this is now his world more than hers, which means she has no idea what to do next.

“Jeffrey!” A blonde, tousled-haired woman bounds over before Jeff introduces her to the bar itself. She has gritted teeth and what seems to be a false smile as she holds her hands out obscurely. Jeff grin is equally as fixed as hers as he looks to his feet. Annie’s certain she hears him spit out the word ‘Don’t’, but an obnoxiously loud man in a plaid shirt walks by calling out somebody’s name so she’s not certain what she’s missed. She catches onto Jeff’s sigh though, as he turns to her for the first time since they’ve left the cab.

“Annie, this is my friend Britta. Britta, this is my neighbour Annie.”

 _Britta’s_ eyes widen as they swoop over to Annie who is smiling back at the both of them, her mind running at eighty miles per hour trying to figure out what exactly _is_ Jeff’s world and whether she really fits into it. Britta folds in her smile and raises her eyebrows as she takes in Annie, tilting her head in a snap towards Jeff.

“It is _so_ nice to put a face to the name.”

Annie raises an eyebrow at Jeff who’s gazing down at her blankly.

“I… mentioned you were coming, that’s all.”

“Oh, well, it’s nice to put a name to the face for you too… he just mentioned that you work here.”

“Huh,” Britta crosses her arms, giving Annie a better impression of her personality, “I bet he didn’t care to mentioned that I’m also a therapist.”

“A shrink.”

“There’s no difference, dummy.” Annie stands and nods along with what seems to be a running bicker with the two of them; she tucks her hair behind one of her ears and smiles at a couple of people who walk by. “Anyway, you shouldn’t be talking to me, pig, you should be with your neighbour Annie.”

“There are a lot of things we _shouldn’t_ do, aren’t there Britta?”

“You’ll _thank_ me.” Britta glares at him, twisting a finger in her fist at her side.

As she stands on the outside of their bubble, Annie’s thoughts drift to Milo, so she gets out her phone and types in a message whilst Jeff carries on talking to his _friend._ She watches him out of the corner of her eye, leaning down so his mouth is in line with her ear. She goes back to messaging Shirley, smiling when the small bubble pops up to notify her that she’s replying.

_“I don’t need your help, especially not with obscene hand gestures which can only mean one thing.”_

“Really?” Britta turns away from him, the movement catching in Annie’s eye so she blinks apologetically and puts her phone away.

“Sorry, I was just talking to my babysitter.” She smiles at Jeff who nods in acknowledgement. “I have a son.” Annie adds on, speaking to Britta.

“I heard. Jeff _loves_ kids.”

Her tone and Jeff’s reaction is what makes Annie pick up on the fact that Britta is teasing, and the fact that perhaps once upon a time they were more than friends. They have no problem in leaning into each other’s spaces, teasing each other and playing on what seems to be each other’s weaknesses.

Jeff’s decided to try and act as if Britta isn’t there because he’d rather come across as a jerk to someone he knows, than to somebody who he _wants_ to know or is at least trying to make them get to know him. He inhales a breath of beer and old wood, turning to face her for one last time.

“Britta, why don’t you go and get the drinks, seeing as you know, you work here and all.”

“Eh, my shift doesn’t start until eight thirty.”

 _The last time.  
_ He blows it off, stepping to the side so that his back is blocking Britta from doing any more harm. He dips his head as Annie moves closer, her eyes fixated on the buttons of his shirt.

“Can I get you a drink?”

“Oh, okay.” Her eyes are darker in the light of the room, even darker with the shadow of him across her cheeks. She has to crane her neck to see the full length of him, her stance creating a furrow between her brows, soft enough to be smoothed away by a feather.

“What do you want?” He simultaneously flicks up his chin whilst dipping himself lower, a smirk and deep smile on his face. Annie has to glance towards the bar and the band setting up in the corner because she can feel his breath on her face and she can feel his hand centimetres away from returning to its home on her back. Intimacy isn’t exactly a rare occurrence in her life; she gets grabbed and pulled and cuddled and hugged and kissed in every different direction by Milo, but when it’s a new person who is conscious of their movements, it feels magnified and warmer and the sense of uncontrollability sticks with her.

“I don’t mind. You can surprise me.”

“Alright. I’m great at surprises.”

She smiles back at him brightly, almost proudly.

Britta coughs behind him then, her faux expression sounding genuine as he turns around and finds her spluttering.

“Are you sick?”

She huffs out at him as Annie rounds his shoulder, a look of concern on her face.

“Oh no, I have medicine in my purse?”

Jeff can’t hold in the snort that escapes him or control the over expressive grin on his face. It softens when he turns and sees that Annie isn’t joking. She’s unzipping her bag, concentrating with pursed lips, trying to help someone bragging for attention whom she’s only just met.

“I want a beer, dickwad.” Britta nudges Jeff in the rib, making Annie sigh out of her naivety.

“Oh, yeah I forgot alcohol is your medicine.”

“Um, what was that thing your therapist told you last month, Jeff?” He shakes his head, dropping his glare to talk to Annie.

“I’ll be right back.” He winks and Annie’s left to stand mindlessly rocking on her heels, pushing down the temptation to check in on Shirley again. She focuses on Jeff as he’s the only familiar part of the evening. He’s at the bar now, holding up a hand and leaning over a couple sat on bar stools. The woman moves, her hand in the man’s own as he too sits up and leaves the bar area so Jeff is free to sit himself down and have more room in the cramped-up space.

He must have ordered because he swivels in the stool and scans the room with squinted eyes, leaning back on his elbow as he searches the room. Britta is still standing beside her, not so subtly stealing glances in Annie’s direction in-between waving and welcoming in customers. On one look her way, she stays put a while longer. Annie splutters when she goes to talk at the same time.

“So being neighbours with Jeff. What’s that like, huh?”

Annie smiles and holds back a sigh of relief that she has something to do other than stand around watching whilst she waits for the one person she knows to give her a drink to hold and sip.

“Oh, it’s… he seems nice. He doesn’t disturb me and that makes a change from my last apartment. I lived in a bad area and I used to get knocks on the door from all kinds of people, most of whom I don’t think even lived there. It definitely wasn’t a safe area for my son especially as he’s getting older and is movi--.”

“Yeah but like, how often do you see him?” Britta snaps Annie out of her ramble as soon as she recognises it’s going too far in the direction of motherhood for her liking.

“Oh right… probably, a couple of times a week? We just bump into each other. Like I said, he seems nice and friend--.”

“Come on, he likes you, don’t act like he hasn’t been hitting on you since the moment you first met.”

“ _Hitting_ on me? What? I don’t… _pfft,_ no. Definitely not, I don’t…” She rolls her eyes and waves a hand at Britta’s absurdity, almost beginning to laugh as she tilts her head and surveys the room in embarrassment, trying to find Jeff without Britta noticing so that she can estimate how long it will be until he can rescue her from his friends’ interrogation.

He’s staring right at her, his lip curled up in a smile as he watches her own fade; he opens his mouth but closes it back up again when the barman taps him on the shoulder, pushing four drinks in his direction along with a slip of paper.

“…guys like Jeff aren’t interested in me, because I have a kid, and I’m not either actually. Interested in guys, that is,”, Britta tilts her head to one side and crosses her arms, “Oh _no,_ I’m interested in guys, but… I’ve started to live with the idea I’m probably going to be single until my son leaves home.”

“Eh, just you wait. He’ll be seducing you right into the sheets. I mean, do you really think he allows many women to come out with him to bars? He usually meets them _at_ the bar.”

 _Like you?_ Annie thinks of saying.

She’s saved from having to say anything at all as a bustling guy taps his knuckle against Britta’s shoulder. He’s aptly named, Annie soon finds out.

“Buster!” Britta sticks her tongue out and reaches out for a high-five, before pushing him away as he grabs for the hem of her sweater.

“It’s not Tuesday, jack-ass!”

As Jeff walks back towards Annie, he glimpses in Britta’s direction to where she’s looking before pushing Britta’s beer bottle into a stranger’s accepting hand. He receives a clap on the back which pushes him further towards his final destination, where he can pass over Annie’s surprise drink and take a glorious gulp of his second glass of scotch of the day.

He settles them down on coasters on the closest empty surface he can find, waiting for Annie to worm her way past a few people entering and departing. They end up standing next to a pillar tucked away near the entrance, the surrounding chairs being used as an outwear and jacket holding facility.

“Mi’lady.” He passes over her drink, not explaining what it is or overthinking his use of such a name as Annie does because he’s too busy licking the condensation off his thumb that dripped onto him as he carried it over. She drops her gaze to the glass now in her hand to distract herself; there are cranberries dotted around a lime wedge bopping up and down inside, as well as a black plastic straw spinning to a stop as it swirls around the ice doused in red liquid.

“I hope you weren’t expecting me to say something like, ‘Mi’lord’, back to you.”

“Let’s not get too crazy now.” He winks and scrunches up his nose so that his whole face creases into the lines that have started to form over recent years. He bobs his head in her hand’s direction. “Vodka cranberry. It’s all I could think of when I got to the bar.”

She takes a pull from the straw, raising her eyebrows as the taste hits the top of her mouth and burns down her throat. It’s cooling, though, and she likes cranberries.

“Thanks.” She smiles with her eyelashes fluttering, almost dancing around in the lights above. She catches him tilt his head and smirk, as he often seems to do, his brow furrowing in a silent question. She shrugs, her chuffed grin deepening.

“What are you drinking?”

“Scotch. Macallan, neat, specifically.”

“I’m going to presume that’s your drink of choice, right? I don’t really have one because I hardly ever drink… I mean, other than maybe a glass of wine if Milo’s stressing me out.”

“Yeah, but every time I’ve seen him he’s seemed like a pretty cool kid, I mean, other than when you had all of your groceries.”

“Oh no, that kind of tantrum isn’t a rare occurrence, trust me. You’ve only ever seen him when he’s fully distracted, like with monkey bars at the park.”

“Ahh.” Jeff nods and laughs, all the same, sipping more of his scotch before dropping his eyes down her as she stands away, engrossed in the music that has started to filter through the room. “I hope he doesn’t interfere with every element of your life, though.” He tears his eyes away from the folds in her pants when she spins back around.

“Unfortunately, most parts.”

“ _Every_ part? Because…” He drops his voice, “…you’re single, right?”

She huffs out a laugh at how he turns from joking to asking something sincerely even though it’s blindingly obvious. Most people look for a wedding ring and get the picture when they see nothing but pale skin which wouldn’t be able to leave a tan-line anyway.

“That I am… but, that doesn’t mean anything, I am quite capable of scratching that itch if I want to… and I have _definitely_ started drinking because I would never usually admit that.”

Jeff’s grin is back, wide enough that it stretches out his whole face and scrunches up his shoulders so he’s closer to his level. He licks his lips but doesn’t pick up his drink again.

“Let me guess, you last about two drinks before you need a lift home?”

“Um, excuse me, I don’t know _where_ you’ve got that idea from because I can drink.”

“Oh yeah? How old are you again?” His grin is still there as he nudges her for an answer.

“It’s not _again_ , I haven’t told you yet. I’m twenty-five, but what has age got to do with it?”

“Because you have less experience than say somebody who’s forty and has been drinking for a _lot_ longer than you.”

She rounds the side of him then, leaning up against the same piece of wall, her right hand pressed up beside his; their palms flat, their fingers almost touching. There’s a light above them that makes her squint in able to focus on his face, so she just closes her eyes and embraces the warmth of it bearing down on them.

“Let me guess, you’re more experienced in other ways too?”

He watches her as she zones out, tracing down her nose, leaning into her space because he’s in that drowsy state of drinking where everything seems softer and so much easier to take in and contemplate. He forgets her question until he starts thinking about reaching out and pressing her up against the wall, the consequences out the window. He laughs because that would most definitely be proving his experience incorrectly.

“You said it, not me.”

She laughs too, straightening her back so she can stretch over the side and sip from her straw again. The music has started to get louder and clearer and she’s soon tapping her feet and biting her lip, politely trying to stay put. He gestures over and follows swiftly behind once he’s gulped down the last dregs of his scotch. She beams up at him, following an empty pathway through the crowds of shuffling and swaying people. The music isn’t his taste, and just like seeing her in the bar itself, Jeff can’t visualise Annie genuinely enjoying it either, but she’s rolling her head around and loosening up. He was only _just_ convinced to attend the event by Britta herself, so he cups his hands around his mouth to cheer when the song ends, trying to seem interested.

The evening drifts in and out with highs and lows. Luckily for Jeff, Britta is behind the bar for most of the night because her shift starts and the number of customers is all consuming and overwhelming for someone who tends to slip away and enjoy the fun for herself. He orders himself a beer when Britta’s able to give him attention ahead of the queue, tilting his head back so Annie can see the line of his throat bob as he swallows. He offers her a sip and she carefully slips the bottle from his fingers, pouting her lips around the rim, the white foam bubbling up as she pulls it away from her mouth and smiles in satisfaction. He orders her, her own, ignoring Britta’s groan when he waves a hand and says something about his non-existent tab.

“You don’t like this, do you?” He finally asks Annie, pointing a finger to the band and the general surrounding area. She shrugs, not bothering to say a word because she can barely hear him ask the question.

She’s returning from the bathroom when she sees Jeff where she left him, crossed armed and smirking at a woman in front of him. She’s tall and her hair is perfectly curled and she’s wearing a figure hugging dress that says more about her than the words coming out of her mouth, probably, which Annie hates herself for judging her on. A hand goes to Jeff’s shoulder as he laughs down at the floor. Britta was right, and Britta was wrong.

As she stands back next to him, he crumples a red piece of tissue up in his hand and stuffs it in his pocket. It’s forgotten about when he surprises her with a joke. He leans down, still facing ahead, only watching her when she can’t hold in her laughter. It’s dumb, it’s about a horse and it reminds her of her uncle and how he used to always poke fun at her when she’d get upset as an infant, but she laughs all the while, caught off guard because it doesn’t seem like something a guy getting shoved numbers under his nose left right and centre would say. She also didn’t expect him to be a teacher, so perhaps it’s the sort of charm and wit he uses to keep his students engaged whilst they flick through textbooks and write endless pages of handwritten essays. She always felt like the odd one out in class; sat bolt upright, ears pricked back with a pen always loaded in her hand after sitting down five minutes early. She’s never really needed anyone to cheer her up or keep her morale boosted, in fact, she’s never really needed anyone for anything because once you’re alone, she’s learnt; you’re _alone._ You end up becoming needed by other people.

She lets him know that she needs to be back home within an hour, but he calls it a night earlier than expected. He waves over heads back at Britta who gestures a middle finger his way, and once again, Annie finds herself laughing at something seemingly unfunny.

A cab arrives and Jeff slides in ahead of her, holding out a hand so he can tug her gently in. He’s leaning closer than on their way there; his knee is half on the middle seat and half off, and his shoulder slides further towards hers every time they turn a corner.

In the hallway outside their doors, Jeff swings a foot in front of his other, stuffing his hands in his pockets as she shyly holds the strap of her bag onto her shoulder. She can hear the tinny echo of the TV inside, so she knows Shirley is still awake and waiting.

“You, er, you like nice by the way. That colour suits you.”

She sighs, flattered, glancing to the floor to hide the colour in her cheeks. Britta was _right,_ and Britta was wrong, she thinks again, shaking her head so she’ll start to tie up the evening rather than stand outside the door dawdling.

“Thank you. You do too, although I’m sure you don’t need telling.”

“Once again, you said it, not me. Does that mean something?”

“Let’s not get too crazy now.” She winks.

“You should come over sometime. Next time we won’t have Britta knocking about.”

She’s unsure of how to respond. She could say no and mean it; she could say yes and only leave it as an open gesture, or she could say yes and explore a refreshing avenue of something willing to let her in. He’s not her usual kind of acquaintance, or friend, or anybody she’s familiar with, but that’s what makes it refreshing.

Stepping into a new world, with boozy bars and music vibrating through every inch of you, is something so entirely different to what she’s been subjected to for the past few years, or what seems like forever. Her parents would judge her, Milo wouldn’t understand and her normal self (her sober self, Annie takes not of, just in case she needs a reason to change her mind), would shy away from ever dipping her toes into something new in case it breaks the fabric of the picture-perfect life she tries to create a canvas of.

“Yeah, I’d like that. But, as with everything, you might have to deal with a toddler joining me too.”

“Eh, what harm can that do?”

“You never can know.” She smiles with one corner of her mouth, blinking towards the door. He waits as she opens the door quietly.

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Jeff.” She pushes inside, closes the door and tiptoes into the living room, smiling brightly at Shirley who’s concentrating with a raised eyebrow at a cooking competition on the screen ahead of her. There’s only a sidelight on so the room is illuminated by a blue glow, flashing in and out every now and again.

“Has he been okay?” Annie asks, draping her bag over the back of an armchair.

“Ooh, Annie!” Shirley mutes the TV, grinning at Annie before standing up. “He settled fine and he’s been quiet ever since I left the room but all I will say is that boy has an almighty jump on him and that bed you have set up, might need to become his sooner rather than later. I’m telling you, he will be right out of that crib and on the floor next time.”

They both laugh into the silent room before Annie gives her a hug and watches Shirley gather her belongings.

“Shall I pay you now, or…?”

“Whenever you can, okay?” Shirley rubs Annie’s arm soothingly as she nods, before walking to the door.

“Thanks again. It was nice to get out for the first time in a while.”

“Mhmm. I don’t believe in living recklessly but you’re young and free! You should be living it up a little from time to time. And don’t you worry, because that boy, Milo? He knows he’ll always have a wonderful mommy coming home for him. I know for a fact when I shut this door, he’ll be asking for a hug.”

Annie scrunches up her shoulders, tucking her hair behind her ear from where it’s fallen.

“I’ll see you soon.”

“I hope so.”

When Shirley’s gone, Annie carries on tiptoeing around the apartment, putting two dirty glasses in the kitchen sink, turning off the TV after a few minutes of getting sucked in by one of the contenders mesmerising icing skills before opening her bedroom door with a sigh of tired relief.

A mumbled cried comes from Milo’s direction, though, so she pauses on getting into her pyjamas to whisper through his partially opened door.

_“You okay?”_

“Mommy…” It comes out as a muffled sob.

“I’m here.”

He starts to whimper then, so she opens the door wider, the light from behind her filtering in so she can see him sat up with his blanket between his teeth. She sits beside his crib, resting her head against the wooden frame. One of his hands slips through a gap so that he can grab onto the fabric of her blouse.

“Why the long face?”

“Miss, Mommy.”

“Well, I’m here now, aren’t I?”

He nods, letting go of her to pull the blanket out of his mouth, wiping his tongue around his lips and onto his cheeks to lick some fluff away.

“Will you fall asleep again now?”

She stands up to lean in and press a kiss to his temple as he shuffles back down under the covers, a teddy now crammed between his arms.

“Goodnight, Milo.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual please leave comments and kudos or message me with questions at @harryspaceshipmchale on Tumblr.  
> Chapters posted every Sunday...


	5. Through the Door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He wants to ask her more - ask her what her plans are; ask her what she’s doing this weekend; find out what her limits are and test them; make her laugh and smile until she forgets what she’s doing anyway.

Seeing Jeff again happens sooner than she’d expected. She texts him on a whim when she’s on the way back from a park trip a week after his friend’s bar party. Milo’s fast asleep in his stroller with the seat folded back which means he’ll be out for a long enough amount of time for her to be able to a have an uninterrupted conversation. He says he’s marking papers because the semester has started back up again at Greendale, but he could do with a break, so he unlocks the door and tells her to come straight in at her own accord.

She knocks anyway because she could imagine being startled if it was the other way around. He stands up and lets her push the stroller inside, gritting his teeth when he sees a leaf clinging to one of the wheels because he knows it means his long-over-due vacuuming session will be his next task once she’s gone.

He brushes past her to his coffee maker, pressing one of the only buttons he truly understands how to use to start brewing a cup for her. He has an empty scotch glass amongst his papers on the dining table because half way through ticking and crossing out words, the summer break caught up on him and he realised how dull and unentertaining that part of teaching was.

“You can sit down or whatever.” He laughs with his back turned to Annie as she stands aimlessly looking around the room. The décor is plain, with every surface free from frames or any form of personalisation, other than clothes hanging up and a couple of magazines on the coffee table in front of his couch. The layout is the same as her own apartment, but his couches are the other way around and his TV is on the wall without windows instead of between them like her own.

She perches herself on his couch so that she’s visible to Milo in case he suddenly wakes up, her eyes still darting around, trying to focus on anything of interest but all she sees is brown paint and equally as brown furniture. He doesn’t seem like he wouldn’t care about the appearance of where he lives. She expects he just accepted where it was at and what it looked like, and focused on other things instead.

He joins her, the smell of coffee wafting as he walks. The mug has cooled to a comfortable temperature so he passes it straight to her before slumping down in the couch beside her.

“Ooh, thank you.” She smiles as she carefully balances herself on top of her folded in knees, the mug tightly clasped between her hands as she settles and tries not to spill it. She takes her first sip as he leans over to the magazines she’d previously glanced over, flicking up and down a dogeared corner to try and work out what date it’s from.

“So… how long have you lived here?” Annie asks, attempting to get the conversation flowing. He rights himself, crossing one leg over the other, dropping his arm to the back of the couch so his hand is in line with her shoulder.

“I’ve been in this apartment for almost five years now.”

“Oh… wow…” She bites her lip, laughing into her mug, avoiding his eyes out of guilt for not concealing it.

“What?”

Annie shakes her head.

“Nothing.”

“Oh, it’s nothing? You just come into my apartment and start laughing at it? Pretty sure yours is almost identical, you know, minus the drapes and the baby stuff.”

She rests the mug on her thigh, taking her grin down a notch to just a hint of a smirk.

“Maybe that’s what I’m laughing about.”

“What, that I don’t have a kid?”

“No… it’s the fact that there _aren’t_ drapes. How am I supposed to know who Jeff Winger is behind these plain brown walls?”

“Um, do the brown walls not say enough? You’re very lucky I don’t get easily offended by judgement of the appearance of my apartment.”

“I know, I’m sorry… I’m just someone who likes to get to know people. I like authenticity and people who aren’t afraid of being honest. Although, I can relate to the fact that’s not always easy.”

“Oh so, you’re lying about everything you say?”

She rolls her eyes and smiles over her coffee, following Jeff’s eyes when they shift to Milo over her shoulder. He’s turning in his sleep, pressing his cheek into the padded cushion of the stroller.

“No, I’m not lying. I just think we all have things we hide behind, right?”

He nods his head, unable to disagree because he can think of about half a dozen things he’s hiding behind in that precise moment.

“So, what do you want to know, you know, besides the really juicy stuff?”

“Hmm…” She drops her head back against the cushion of the couch, drinking some more coffee as she ponders over what to ask him. “Why here? Why do you live here? Is that part of your ‘long story’?”

Jeff scratches under his nose and laughs out as he breathes, even the words and initial thoughts of explaining the whole ordeal to someone he quite frankly barely knows, filling him with a sense of dread. He wipes a hand down his leg and back up again.

“I had to move out of my condo, so this place was in a good spot and yeah, you’re right. I won’t get into that now. There are better ways to get to know me.”

His hand on the back of the couch twitches beside her; if he stretched a finger out he could twizzle a lock of her hair around it.

“What about you? What do I need to know?”

“There’s not much to know.” She shrugs against the cushion of the couch so his hand is even closer, skimming the fabric covering her shoulder in a soft pink knit, “I’m just Annie, the single mom who got pregnant at twenty-two.”

He frowns for a moment, so she sighs and drinks her coffee. A piece of hope, she realises, was always buried inside of her from the minute she met Jeff. _He’s just a kid. It’s fine. It’s no big deal._ There hasn’t been a moment of judgement or any feeling of pressure and it was so relieving until he _frowned._ She kicks herself for overreading moments and movements but she can never read them as anything else because she’s so used to the usual reasoning behind them.

“Oh, come on, that’s not true.”

“What do you mean?” She asks over her coffee that is slowly but surely going down bit by bit.

“I already know you work in forensics. That’s more than that.”

“But that’s not _me._ ”

“Why are you doing it then?” His finger taps against her arm pointedly. She goes to look away but focuses on his fingertip instead.

“Because I want…” She follows her eyes up his arm, finding him with a tilted head, “…to. But that’s not what I mean. What I mean is, people don’t see me as that.”

“Then how am I supposed to get to know you?” Annie’s turned to look at Milo, contemplating the idea of reaching over and stroking his leg, but wanting to ensure he stays asleep for the full duration of his naptime.

“Ask questions.”

“I already did that.”

“Then ask again.”

“You got time for that?” He nods towards Milo in the stroller with raised eyebrows. She rolls her eyes and nods.

“Why do _you_ live here? Besides the new job, you could have gone anywhere.”

Her mug must be empty because she unfolds her legs to set it down on the coffee table in front of them before answering.

“ _Other_ than that, it was for Milo, really. The location of our old place was fine and it doesn’t really make a difference in terms of getting to places but it was too small, and to be honest I didn’t really like the carers at his daycare and, well, he needed his own room.”

Jeff watches her as she looks away, pouting at Milo with a small smile.

“So, what, you moved for him more than the job?” He asks as she continues to face the other direction, reaching out with his finger. One of the curls at the ends of her hair naturally loops around the tip. He has to snatch it away when she sits back around.

“Yeah, I guess. It’s not too bad, my close friends live nearer to here anyway. What was I saying about being a single mom?” He laughs at her tone, hearing her join in under her breath. He wonders what the close friends are like; young parents, scraping through yet propelling their kids into super stardom and high education?

“I suppose toddlers need their privacy, with their own room and everything.”

“More like mommy’s need their sleep.”

“Ah.” He points a finger upwards, understandingly.

“But in terms of privacy, I’m not sure what I’m going to do when…” She shakes her head and looks down, hushing herself to a whisper, “…it gets to _that._ ”

“He’s nearly three, right?” She nods, “Well then I say you probably have a good ten years.”

“Oh great.”

They both laugh then, Jeff’s shoulders jumping up and down as Annie rolls her eyes and bites her lip. Her smile pulls him in, keeping his own grin fixed and wide. He wants to ask her more - ask her what her plans are; ask her what she’s doing this weekend; find out what her limits are and test them; make her laugh and smile until she forgets what she’s doing anyway. Her smile fades as he goes to speak, so he stops and lets her talk.

“I don't know, though... I don't know what not having a dad means to a kid. I mean, I know what it means to an adult but... sometimes I worry that I’ve done the,” She sighs, “I don’t know. It’s silly.”

It appears that she’s one step ahead in making him forgetful. He squints and gulps and misses what she says in all, other than the one glaringly obvious statement and fear. He shrugs it off, brushes it away; screws the lid on tight.

“He’ll be fine.”

He can tell by the expression on her face that fine isn’t good enough. She’s looking for more reassurance than that, perhaps even evidence that her son will be more than just a kid without a father and she’ll be more than just a mom without the dad. He huffs out, gaining her attention.

“Take it from someone who has a lot of experience in it.”

* * *

 

Jeff turns up unannounced at her door with coffee again a few days later, bright and early in the morning. He apologises because she’s heading _out_ of the door herself, clearly ready for work with her bag on her shoulder, a fitted blouse buttoned right up to the top and Milo’s hand in hers. He doesn’t want to keep her so he just passes over the paper cup, waves and turns to his own door. She texts him a picture of herself drinking it in her car as a simple gesture of gratitude, forgetting about it until later in the day when he replies during her lunch break, somehow not stopping until her colleague snaps her out of it, tapping her on the shoulder and pointing to an intern who needs assistance.

Their back and forth is barely of any interest. He’s at work too, so she imagines him slouched back in his office chair, filling time between classes and students coming and going, his phone in hand, probably flicking between apps as he waits for her responses. He doesn’t apologise for the coffee again, but he does say sorry for not getting Milo anything when he popped by. She can’t quite read how sincere he is through the 90 characters he sends her about being unsure as to whether kids are allowed caffeine, so she thanks him for the thought with a smile instead of trying to figure out how much he really knows.

He says she can come over again if she ever needs a break from mom duties and the offer is so simple and sweet that she says yes and gives him a time without checking in with Shirley. She doesn’t know what he’ll be expecting of her but there’s no fear in waiting around and finding a means to escape because slipping outside leads right to her front door anyway. She’ll deal with whatever comes up when and if it does. She’s good like that; quick on her feet because she has to be.

Shirley’s free on Friday evening which draws in with speed because days fly by when you’re working and mothering non-stop, so Annie finds herself in Jeff’s living room once again, Milo fast asleep next door; Shirley clueless that she’s not even left the apartment building. She doesn’t want to raise any suspicion that there’s something more going on. Shirley’s quick to judge, stuck in her ways and unmoving from certain ideas and concepts, so it’s better to avoid them altogether than even tease a thought.

Not that there would be anything to misinterpret, Annie thinks. Having an acquaintance or a neighbour or a friend so close by is when she comes to think of it, something she needs in her life. As much as her two best friends are almost brothers to her, they too are stuck in their own ways; happier to be left alone, even if being with other people isn’t much of a challenge. It’s just better like this, all around.

“So, I know you said you like a glass of wine every now and then. Which is it? Red or white?” Jeff asks from the kitchen, two bottles out in front of him. He mustn’t have changed from work because he’s still in a crisp shirt with rolled up sleeves and a rumpled line where it’s tucked into his jeans and leather belt. His oven is on which suggests he’s yet to eat, so she wonders how long he wants her to be there. From what his friend Britta had to say, the idea of someone else coming over once she leaves wouldn’t be one of much surprise.

“Red’s fine thanks.”

He pops out the cork, the wine glugging out with a splash into each glass, making for the only sound in the room. He turns to see her watching intently, her eyes on his hands. He walks over slowly and passes her the glass, nodding forward to tap the rim of his own against it with a soft chime.

“Cheers.”

“Thanks.” She dips her head to take a sip, leaving Jeff to stand and watch. She’s in a dark green sweater, loose and hanging, with jeans on and her hair straight. She slipped off her flats at the door so her feet are encased in white trainer socks that somehow have him smiling when she looks back up and smiles at the warming taste of the wine.

“I don’t even know what we’re going to do, we should have gone out or something.”

Annie parts her lips at his phrasing, nodding and sipping more wine again before replying.

“It’s fine, I honestly don’t mind, I’m just happy to be doing something different.”

He nods before allowing her to follow him to the couch where he sits with his legs open, his wine in one hand between them as he turns on the TV. She settles, as does the room and the tension and everything else that isn’t actually there. They end up watching a rom-com with a selection of standard, overly loved actors and actresses in it because she seems most interested in it when he goes through each channel. He throws a comment every now and then, watching for her reaction. She usually laughs, her body slouching into the pillows behind her a little further each time, her wine glass snug to her chest.

He asks if she wants a refill at one point, but ends up bringing back the whole left-over bottle of wine for them to pour freely. She nudges her toe against his thigh when the bottle is in his hand, holding out her glass between them. She’s contently buzzed so it’s easy to relax into the movie and into Jeff’s home, and yes, she’d like to call him a friend. He’s accepted her so openly, and the times in which she has felt judged, he’s tended to spin his comments on their head to get her looking at things in a new perspective. She still has her doubts that there is pity disguised beneath it all like he suspects she wants and needs it because she’s alone, but there’s nothing to say he isn’t in the same boat too; filling a void that has only recently become possible to fill.

“Ugh, this movie is reminding me of the fact that one of my old work _friends,_ ” He emphasises the word, its meaning debatable, “is getting married and he’s only known his fiancé for like two years. How can you find someone and automatically know they're the one? I mean, who gets married after two years? I barely even believe in ‘the one’.”

She sits up, her interest in his comments piquing. She faces him, her wine clasped in her hands as she studies his face that is still entranced by the scene playing ahead.

“I don’t think many people do but… maybe… sometimes somebody comes into your life at the perfect moment, and it just works; no matter what the scenario.... or maybe the perfect person comes into your life at the right moment, and again, it just works. I probably wouldn’t take note of this movie, though, even I’m not.”

He turns too then, crossing his leg over to balance his wine on his knee. He’s barely touched his second glass, probably because he wants something stronger. She knows she’s feeling light and airy and finds it hard to bite her tongue when that’s the case, but she wants to think it wouldn’t be so hard with Jeff, even without the wine and the film in the background. He seems concentrated and focused, like he’s a good listener, even if he doesn’t have an answer or something to say back.

“What does that mean?”

She hides behind her glass and her hand, smiling at the screen shyly.

“I guess… I used to love that kind of thing, all the romance,” She shakes her head, glancing at Jeff’s bemused expression briefly, “but then life happened and I realised it doesn’t happen and… I think it’s about making what you have _into_ that, rather than finding it. And if you haven’t got anything or anywhere yet, then you have to find good in the small things because everything happens for a reason, right?”

She raises a shoulder and an eyebrow, unsure of whether she’s making any sense; wondering if he believes in silver linings and the idea of positivity in everything and all the tricks and tips she’s started to ingrain into her mind to keep her from stumbling over the harder, bigger hurdles.

“I don’t believe in that. If so, why was my dad such an asshole? Why do people go around murdering innocent people? To teach us a lesson? That's bullshit if you ask me. Assholes are assholes because they're assholes.”

Her ears prick back at the mention of his dad. He never enlightened any further when he first mentioned his lack of one; Milo woke up anyway, so it wasn’t something they could linger on or anything he’d necessarily wanted to bring up in the first place.

“Well we know murdering isn't a good thing, right? And…” Annie glances at the TV, unsure what to say about a story she knows only one detail of, “…you know not to be like your dad when _you_ have kids.”

“Everyone knows how to not be like my dad, I didn't need to go through the pain to realise it.” He drinks his wine then, the glass going from full to half-empty in a matter of seconds. She drinks her own, sliding her foot forward as if to remind him she’s there too.

“I guess my point was, people might not know instantly that they're going to fall in love and live happily ever after, as I’ve said, I’ve started to lose hope in that but sometimes you just know because they walked through the door at the best time for you... that's why people rush into getting married. It's like sealing a lid on a bubble of happiness and fulfilment when you're right in the core of it.”

“You have a way with words, don’t you?” He smirks, used to it being the other way around. She rolls her eyes.

“When you have a kid, you have to know how to word things properly.”

He laughs at that, before continuing the conversation. He’s deep in it now, committed to seeing it through.

“But then… two more years down the line, the lid falls off because you didn't learn how to screw it on properly. It happens; nothing lasts forever."

“Maybe some people _do_ know from the get go. Speaking from experience, if I found a guy who was willing to be a dad _and_ made _me_ happy, I'd probably jump at the chance, no matter how long I’d been with him.”

Jeff shrugs and shakes his head, turning even further into the back of the couch, part of his subconscious sighing with relief that she isn’t getting the impression that he could be that for her.

“Then, why don’t you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, there’s gotta’ be someone out there who wants to be with you _and_ Milo.”

“You’d think so… but people don’t want to a family with someone else’s child. Whenever I tell people, they freeze up and you know straight away that they’re not interested.” She smiles sadly, her lips pursed.

“When was the last time you went on a date?” He asks out of curiosity. She sighs and repositions herself.

“A couple of years ago, but I’ve kind of resigned myself to not bothering because it’s not worth it.” She tilts her head and looks him up and down, “What about you? Let me guess, your last date was a couple of nights ago, and you got lucky?”

He chuckles, leaning forward into her space. He runs a hand along his jaw where his sharply groomed beard is still in check.

“I’m flattered you’d think it would be that easy for me.”

She dips her chin, resting it on her wine glass as she talks.

“You’re not bad looking.”

His jaw grits on one side as he stares down at her feet, her toes curled up so that they don’t make contact with his leg. He gazes at her through his eyelashes, his hand smoothing over the fabric of the couch before resting beside her foot so he can stroke a finger down the arch of it. She unclenches instantaneously.

“You’re not so bad yourself.” He pauses, as he cheeks bloom and she looks away. He sits back but his hand stays where it lays, “But yeah, it’s not so easy being my age and single. It basically just reads as ‘you suck in a relationship’.”

“Well… do you?” She blurts out, a hand going to her face. She opens her mouth and bites her tongue between her teeth.

“Again, _flattered.”_

“I’m sorry… I’m kidding, I’m just curious I guess, to know why you’re single?” She adds on before he gets the chance to answer, “ _Not_ that you have to, I know some people don’t want to be in a relationship and that’s fine. Obviously.”

“Because… I don’t mind being single. It might not have been a few days ago, but I can get lucky with whoever I want because there are no strings attached.” She nods.

“So… I suppose that's why you and your friend Britta are so chummy?”

“Chummy? What do you mean by _that_?”

He scoffs, finishing off his glass of wine.

“I don't know... you seem close, but on another level, and if _that's_ the case then it totally makes sense.” She shrugs like she knows it all, which she doesn’t, not all; she doesn’t know the half of it, Jeff doesn’t tell her.

“Well, you're wrong.”

“Really?” She doesn’t budge.

“Mhmm.” She moves her foot so she can poke her big toe into his hand.

“I don't believe you.” He glares at nothing in the direction of the kitchen, his lips fixed into a sarcastic and stubborn grin. He pokes his tongue into the side of his cheek before sighing.

“Ugh, fine. We used to hook up.”

Annie tilts her head, her smile proud and unnecessarily arrogant. Under the circumstances and under the influence of wine, she looks something softer than sexy - pretty adorable, or pretty; he’ll leave it at that.

“I knew it. I'm a good judge of things.”

“Oh, so you're judging me for it?”

“No, no... in fact, I'm surprised you're not dating her.”

She throws up a hand to rest her cheek in. He laughs again.

“Then you've definitely only known Britta for a couple of alcohol influenced hours.” He taps on her foot when he says _you_ , “Trust me, hooking up is our limit, and even that isn't that great. We're too messed up and all she ever does is try to fix me with her therapist skills, and I use the word skills with generosity.”

“Well… she seems nice enough, and weren't you just saying it takes time to learn how to work together in a relationship?”

“Yeah, sure, if you want to _be_ in that relationship.”

“So... other than her, there's not been anyone else?” She asks, unsure as to why. He flicks up his eyebrows, telling her he’s unsure as to why he’s answering either. 

“Oh, there’s been _plenty._ But… I dated someone for a few months a couple of years back but then she moved on. That's about it.”

Annie pouts, sighing whilst running a finger around the base of her glass.

“Have you ever used a dating site?”

“No!” Jeff spits out, “I don’t need one if I can go to a bar and not bother with text messages and the waiting game.”

“I feel like I need one which is just for single parents… but then again, that’s probably a trap for weirdos to lure people in with their kids.”

He laughs again, moving so her foot is close to resting on his thigh.

“Well, if you ever need help writing a profile I’m sure I could write you a great one.”

“Oh yeah? You think you know me that well already?” She raises her eyebrow as she raises her glass to her mouth for one last sip.

“Sure. Let me think, um… you’re a twenty-five-year-old single mom looking to find that perfect guy with a perfect job and a perfect outlook on being a perfect parent. I'm perfect, it's all perfect yah-dah-yah-dah-yah-dah."

She laughs and pauses, holding a finger to her lips in thought.

“Hmm, interesting. Now I’m the one feeling flattered that you think I’m so perfect. But, what about all the personal stuff? Aren’t you supposed to put down your favourite movie and things like that?”

Jeff nods his head in the direction of the TV whilst watching her.

“Well, we know for sure it wasn’t this one.”

She turns and sees the credits rolling on a black screen, a cut away to one side advertising the next show. When he catches her attention again, he smiles and shrugs and the movie becomes irrelevant and meaningless.

“But um, I guess I gotta’ learn all the rest.”

* * *

 

Annie knows it’s purposeful when Jeff runs over to them at the park two days later. It’s a Sunday so it’s busier and Milo is a lot harder to keep track of without standing up and looking around, so he finds her to the side of a wooden bridge which Milo is walking over, his hands out and steady as the wood rattles beneath him in a wobbling motion. The sun is out and it feels like the height of summer again, with a small breeze whipping around her bare legs and chilling the sweat that lingers on Jeff’s shoulders.

“Taking a casual run?” She asks as he hunches over next to her. Most of the parents are on the other side of the bridge, mingling amongst themselves, leaning in for kisses with their partners, so Jeff’s presence isn’t taken into account by many.

“Yeah,” He’s breathing out heavily, warming himself down, “I would have felt bad if I hadn’t had,” He breathes out again, swallowing at the same time as he stands and puts his hands on his hips, “come over here. What if you’d seen me walking away?”

She shrugs, smiling expressively as Milo recognises her.

“I would have just presumed I’d gone unnoticed.”

“It was for my own conscience.”

“Right.” She dips her head and smiles again but she’s facing straight forward, so his attention goes to Milo too. He’s climbing down the steps back down the springy ground, dashing over with his arms up so Annie can pull him into a hug.

“Hey, sweetie.”

He kisses the inside of her leg, clinging onto the fabric of her dress so it tugs down slightly. Jeff’s watching but he looks away to the sky when she adjusts herself and Milo kisses her some more. He turns back when Milo releases from her, though, tilting his head upwards as far as his neck will allow.

“Jeff.”

Before Jeff gets a chance to reply to Milo, Annie’s ruffling her fingers through his hair.

“You remembered! Good boy.” Somehow Jeff can hear the smile in her voice as she talks; soft and specific, just for Milo. Jeff laughs at that, ducking his head so he’s somewhat closer to Milo.

“Hey, buddy.” He holds out a fist to see if he’ll take it, but instead of receiving a smaller version, Milo lifts his hand, his fingers splayed out. “Oh, a high five?” He matches him then, Milo’s fingertips barely spanning the width of Jeff’s wrist.

“Do a monkey again!”

Annie can see the cogs in Jeff’s brain working to translate Milo’s request, parting his lips before finally seeking her help by looking up. She tilts her head with a shrug.

“I think he means he wants you to take him on the monkey bars again.”

“Ohhh.” He nods down at Milo before looking over his shoulder to where the monkey bars are, currently vacant. “I mean sure if you want me to.”

Annie smiles in agreement, walking forward to shoo Milo forward in following Jeff. They halt a couple of times to let running, screaming children pass in front of them. Jeff throws up his hands to stop from bumping into one of them, his towering size a stark contrast to their miniature frames. When Milo turns to look back at Annie for permission to play with Jeff, she nods eagerly and stands back to one side. It’s no different to last time, other than the fact Jeff looks wearier of the people and children around him. He turns around at one point to hold Milo more securely at a different angle but his tiny feet end up slipping down onto his shoulders so that they both have to duck in order to readjust themselves.

Annie bites her lip and squints with a cringe as Milo only just misses one of the bars with the top of his head. They stand out from underneath the frame, Jeff looking up as far as he can as he holds onto Milo’s ankles as he sits upon Jeff’s shoulders. It’s strange, Annie admits to herself, seeing Milo with someone new who isn’t a carer or someone who has a secondary role in his life. He has a smile on his face though so she’s okay with the spontaneity of it in the moment.

“I feel like I might drop him and I don’t want to be held responsible for that, so… do you mind?”

She snaps out of her thoughts, stepping forward instantly with a shake of a head because it’s no problem. He lowers himself, Annie not realising that Jeff’s at her height until Milo has clung himself tightly to her body. His eyes at her mouth, though, making her lick them and purse them tightly closed. He rises back to his ordinary stature when Milo points over to the ice cream hut, his face lighting up as he pulls away from Annie’s side slightly, his right-hand tugging on her neck.

“Can I have an ice-cream, Mommy? Please?” He asks so sweetly that it’s hard for her to not give in. She rolls her eyes and smiles when she notices Jeff smirking at Milo’s proud request. She wonders what kind of child he was; not much difference, she guesses. A little smug in the way that shows he’s not all as confident as he seems and a little attention-grabby, like he just can’t get enough of something that puts the spotlight on him.

“Alright, let me just check my purse, okay?” Milo nods, sliding down to the ground where he jumps with his hands in the air, reaching one up so that Jeff can return the gesture like before. As Annie searches through the small purse which is strapped down across her body, Jeff ducks down again, because there’s something fulfilling about interacting like Milo. Everything is new to him, so there’s a chance to give him something; leave him feeling stronger and smarter – like teaching. The very basics and beginnings of teaching.

“Do you know how to do a fist bump? I was going to do it earlier but you wanted to give me a high-five instead.”

Milo shakes his head but lifts his hand, copying Jeff as he folds his fingers into a fist.

“And then…” Jeff puts his fist to Milo’s which touches him like a feather, “…bump. See? A fist-bump.”

Milo giggles then, his head shaking so that his fringe moves in every direction. It’s infectious, making Jeff grin, all the same, barely noticing Annie’s groans of frustration to the side of them.

“Oh sweetie, I’m not sure we’re going to be able to get ice cream, I’m sorry.” Her apology must be what catches on with Milo because he turns and loses his smile.

“No, Mommy!”

“I’m sorry sweetie, we’ll try another day. I know it would have been nice because it’s so sunny and warm but I don’t have any cash on me and we all know what happened when I tried to pay with my card.” She nods but exaggerates the part about her card to include Jeff in the conversation; relatable, he presumes.

The sudden switch in Milo’s mood is what grabs his attention, though. The smile is gone and his lip is beginning to quiver as he looks over at the ice-cream hut and an indescribable feeling washes over Jeff, like nostalgia or a fleeting memory in the back of his brain pecking its way through. _Standing to wait for his Dad to bring back a toy or a gift or anything that wasn’t a bottle of whiskey from the store he’d dragged him to on the way back from school._

“It’s okay, we’ll go home and I’ll make you something special for lunch, okay?” Annie pouts, steadying herself with a long breath which suggests she knows Milo’s not going to be smiling again anytime soon.

She rests her hand gently on his shoulder and like a trigger on a gun, the tears start pouring out as soon as she makes contact with the sleeves on his t-shirt. She grits her teeth apologetically as a lady walks past with a new-born fast asleep in a stroller, her expression quite confidentially reading as annoyed.

And just like that, the weight and pressure of Jeff’s wallet in his running shorts starts to become noticeable. At this point it isn’t to try and impress Annie or anyone or to get any closer to going any further, it’s just a gesture of goodwill because he knows deep down that sometimes that’s all somebody needs. He doesn’t do it to win her over, he simply does it _for_ her.

“Here you go.” He takes a bill out of his wallet whilst she’s distracted, passing it over and almost dropping it when she doesn’t release it from his grip.

“Oh no, Jeff, I can’t, it’s fine. He’ll be fine, don’t worry.”

He turns his head and watches a dog running towards a ball at the other end of the park. She’s stubborn, afraid of anyone bursting a bubble she’s obviously meticulously created around their world. He knows this because he’s done it before himself, and continues to do so. Afraid of letting anything in because of what happened last time. Therapy sucks if you want to avoid self-reflection.

“Take it and it might help, or take it because Jeff’s getting an ice cream and, do you want one?”

The corner of his mouth lifts as he offers it again, her eyes following. She smooths a hand down Milo’s back where he’s sniffling into her leg.

“Hey, Milo?” He sniffs as Jeff attempts to win him back around.

“Do you want an ice-cream?” Jeff holds out the ten dollars, pointing it towards where the ice-cream will be found. Despite the tears stains on his cheek, and in fact Annie’s dress, he nods and smiles, stepping away to wipe his own face. Annie’s still standing by as Jeff lowers himself, her eyes drifting down the curve of Jeff’s back and along his arms. He’s solid, which might seem obvious, but as she watches him looking past Milo’s difficulties and forgets about Annie’s attempts at calming him down, it’s as if even the softer parts of him would be able to withstand stresses and tension which would usually make someone crumble, like he’d stand tall naturally, rather than trying to force it so like she often does herself. Referring to the physical solidness; he is. He’s strong and firm and fairly attractive because of it. He presumably has the knowledge of how to make someone’s heart rate go from 0 to 100. He knows it too when he stands and finds her staring. He’s strong in that sense; self-assured, even if he is a little smug.

“Shall I go, or…?”

“Yes! Yes.” Milo grabs at her skirt and pulls her from a type of thought he so often interrupts. It’s a daydream really; imaginable but unreachable.

“Uh, are you coming?” He laughs a little because she’s still stuck on the spot. She’s not sure why she assumed Jeff would go alone with Milo, but she sticks with her assumption and gestures to a bench behind them. Jeff gapes for a second, scoping out the distance between the ice-cream hut and where she’ll be sat.

“It’s right there. I could do with sitting down. I know where you live, right?”

He bobs his head, and Milo waves back at her before skipping off, leading the way. She sits back on the bench and watches them, blurring out what she can of Jeff in her mind, watching the world go by but envisioning a different one. The one where it’s ten years in the future and Milo just happened, and whoever’s walking beside him is committed to staying.

Milo’s up on Jeff’s shoulders when she blinks again, leaning from side to side to look at the different options on the shack’s list of ice-creams.

“Which one would your mommy want?”

Milo hums in thought before prodding a finger onto the plastic board, pointing at a picture of a strawberry and vanilla cone. Jeff shrugs and adds it to the order, being passed over one plastic wrapped chocolate sandwich and one paper covered cone. He unwraps Milo’s after paying, lifting his hand from his ankle so he can get a start on eating it as Jeff walks him back over to his mom.

Annie shakes her head as Milo triumphantly raises his treat in the air. Jeff smiles too, not that he can see.

“And for you.” Jeff dips forward, keeping Milo safe and secure by hunching over so he slides against his neck.

“You didn’t have to.” He sighs out something like ‘I know’ as he squats and lets Milo jump off, his sticky hands skimming over Jeff’s hair, chocolate dripping over his fingers. Annie squirms but is relieved when he climbs up onto the bench with them, sitting quietly and still as he tucks in. Annie goes to thank Jeff again but sees him hunched forward, empty-handed.

“You didn’t get one?”

He shrugs and sits back, stretching out his legs.

“Nah, too much sugar.”

Annie turns pointedly at Milo, laughing at Jeff as he shrugs again, clasping his hands together.

“He wanted it.”

She wants to let it go, be brave enough to not ask him, but there’s part of her that almost _wants_ to ask him; wants him to know about a big part of her life that people usually find out about as soon as they meet.

“Can I ask you something?” He scratches his neck where there’s light stubble, watching her lick around the top of her cone.

“Sure.”

“Why haven’t you asked?”

“Asked what?”

She takes a bite out of the cone itself, feeling silly, trying to act casually because usually it’s nothing; usually, it’s standard.

“About… _him._ ” She nudges her shoulder against Milo.

“Him?” He frowns, genuinely confused.

“I’m a single mom and you haven’t asked the main question that most people jump to ask, you know, where is he? Milo… his dad?”

Jeff looks over at Milo, kicking his legs carelessly, still devouring the ice-cream.

“Um, was I supposed to?”

_Huh._

“No, I’m just surprised, that’s all. Haven’t you been dying to know?”

“Not really. I don’t see it as any of my business.”

“Hm.” She leans over to kiss Milo’s messy face. “Most people ask. That’s how people judge me on whether they want to be friends.”

Jeff hunches forward so he can look at the two of them, spotting similarities but noticing it’s mostly in their eyes.

“Really?”

Annie takes a bigger bite from her cone, crunching down and emptying her mouth before explaining.

“If I’m the single mom who got pregnant after a one-night-stand, they have a problem with it, especially other parents because they think I don’t necessarily want him? And then, if I’m the single mom whose boyfriend left me when I was three weeks pregnant, then people respect me because I kept him.” Her voice softens as she carries on, the latter part of her reasoning making him double-check her expression. He grits his teeth when he sees Milo smiling at something in the distance.

“I won’t judge you on that. Plus, if that’s the case you’ve got to start hanging out with different people because they sound like di…” He bites his tongue as Annie’s eyes widen at the start of his choice of words, “… _definitely_ not good people.”

Milo leans over then, dropping the wrapping that had encased the bottom of his ice-cream sandwich into her lap. She tuts and picks it up at its corner, making sure it hasn’t left a mark on the print of her dress before realising Jeff is still watching her.

“So, you’re my friend now? Not just my neighbour?” She phrases it like a question, her attention drifting away again as she finds the travel sized baby wipes in her purse.

He catches Milo’s wrapper before it falls on the floor and blows away, and takes the small portion of her cone that’s left-over. He ends up licking a drip of the ice cream from the side, smiling like he’s been caught doing much worse when she glances up.

“Yeah, sure.”


	6. A Very Specific Question

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He wants to kiss her because kissing is one way to stop thinking. The only thoughts that go through his mind when kissing someone is goodness and distraction and pleasure and everything goes a bit foggy and blurred out, if only for a second. But he doesn’t because he doesn’t want to seem as if he’s taking control of her whilst she’s emotionally vulnerable. Not that he would ever take control of her because if anything, the past hour has been learning that she could take control of anyone in her path.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (With all the #communityaw17 fic going on, I kinda' forgot to update. Here ya go - one day late!)

She tells him everything.

They’re on his couch again, but this time her feet are up and stretched out into his lap as he leans on the back of the cushions, listening intently.

She tells him how she’d been dating Milo’s biological father for almost a year. They’d spoken about moving in together because her apartment had been even worse than the one she’d first brought Milo home too. She tells him about Dildopolis and he tries to conceal a laugh but ends up letting it out as he sips on his beer bottle. She tells him about how they always used some form of protection, and it makes her somewhat proud that she can openly explain that side of things now because having a child means being clear and concise. She tells him how it was unexpected due to that fact, and how she was scared to tell anyone around her, let alone her boyfriend. She wasn’t ready, she knew that.

She tells him about her original plans; settling down, getting a good job, being financially stable and proving to her stuck-up parents that she could still go at things alone and be successful. She tells him how she broke the news to her boyfriend and how he didn’t react. She tells him how he just nodded and said they’d discuss things before it was too late, but there was never a discussion and too late happened as soon as he closed the door. She tells him how he really did leave her. She tells him how she tried everything she could to find him during those nine months.

She tells him how the doctor had given her options, and how she’d thought every single permeation and result through. She tells him how she’d been in the reception area, waiting for an appointment to change the course of everything when she’d decided to let life take its own path instead. She tells him how she didn’t really have anyone, and how she doesn’t really have anyone now.

She answers his questions about whether she thinks he’ll ever come back. She answers his questions about being pregnant and giving birth and everything which she’d expect. She answers his questions about finding out it was a boy and working out a name on her own. She answers his questions about everything and anything that comes to his mind, and she does it with a straight face because she’s dealt with it now. She loves Milo and she loves her life and all the roadblocks beforehand were just that – roadblocks.

One of his questions goes around in a roundabout way to those long nine months, though and deciding to make such a big decision by herself, and it cracks because it always does. She’s never quite strong enough to go all the way like she wasn’t strong enough to go without holding a nurse’s hand when she had to give a final push.

“And… I don’t know…” She lifts her chin and he frowns, leaning forward when he notices her eyes glossing over, “…I, um…”. She wipes a finger under her eye and starts again, “I… guess I felt alone, and I still do… I don’t know, I wish I could go back and be selfish and _not_ always feel…” She blows out and shakes her head and tries to finish her sentence, but then Jeff’s reaching out, his hand finding the curve of her hip, his thumb brushing up and down.

He wants to kiss her because kissing is one way to stop thinking. The only thoughts that go through his mind when kissing someone is goodness and distraction and pleasure and everything goes a bit foggy and blurred out, if only for a second. But he doesn’t because he doesn’t want to seem as if he’s taking control of her whilst she’s emotionally vulnerable. Not that he would ever take control of her because if anything, the past hour has been learning that she could take control of anyone in her path.

“You’re not alone.” He adds on, keeping it light with a smile of disbelief and a shake of the head, “And…” He pulls away, but still stays close, “… do something selfish. I mean, what do you wanna’ do?” She swallows and raises her eyebrows, not even sure herself.

“I don’t know… something that Milo’s not a part of… something that makes _me_ feel good.”

He shrugs and drops his voice, tilting his head back to a door at the end of the room, “Come over to my place.”

She lets out a laugh, breathily. It makes no sense because she’s already at his place, but his tone and his smirk and the confident drop of his eyes to her mouth are what has her biting her lip and admitting to herself it’s not exactly the first time she’s contemplated that idea. She wasn’t sure at first. It’s literally been years since anyone took interest in her, and the person to last do that was the person to leave her and Milo behind.

So, there’s risk.  
But it’s more of a danger with Jeff because she can tell it would be selfish. He’d indulge her and be assertive and all of that mixed together makes it somewhat more inviting, which takes her back to the danger. But maybe being selfish, is sometimes being dangerous? Especially when your safe haven and your ordinary limits are based upon your toddler and his needs.

He’s still looking at her, and her feet are still in his lap, but then she sees her phone on the coffee table and her hand goes to her forehead as a reality check, so she tells him that she has to go because Shirley can only stay for an hour next door.

“Oh, okay. Sure.” A twinge of disappointment flickers across Jeff’s face, she’s sure, but then he’s standing and pulling her into a hug with one arm, briefly looking up and down her face with a subtle smile as he steps away.

“Thanks for, you know,” She tilts her head as she stands by the door, “listening and everything. I don’t really know what I was doing or what happened there but,” She shrugs and smiles with a raised eyebrow, “we’re friends now, right?”

He hums a yes into the rim of his beer glass, tilting his throat up as he takes a deep glug. She throws a thumb over her shoulder before turning and opening the door, sensing him nearing closer. His hand finds a place above her head on the edge of the door frame as she steps into the hall.

“Sweet dreams.” He speaks to her feet, not quite able to look her in the eye.

Annie’s hand is on her door handle just as he uses his own to shut himself away, but then she lets it go and steps forward again, dropping her hands to play with them shyly.

“Again…” She shakes her head and thanks him once more, wordlessly.

“Talking isn’t really in my wheelhouse, but sure, whatever. I’m a lot better at a few specific things.”

She laughs and looks away, which has him grinning and smirking.

“Well, if it’s not in your wheelhouse, you did a good job anyway, because you listened.”

He bobs his head, and that’s it before she slips away again.

She decides she feels lighter, but as if it she’s loaded off the weight onto something else, like she’s built it all up into a new energy that is going to have to be released sooner rather than later. For now, though, she releases Shirley of her duties instead and sits tightly bundled up under a blanket to watch TV, the creaks and vibrations from next door somehow getting through.

* * *

 

“So, have you met anyone recently? I presume you must have with a new semester at work and all.”

“That’s a very specific question.”

“Specific, or poignant?”

Jeff tilts his head, clicking his tongue in thought.

“Specific? Isn’t poignancy supposed to evoke some sort of negativity?”

“I suppose the definition might match up to that, yes. May I ask, though, are you avoiding the question? If so, why?”

“I’m not avoiding the question because there’s nothing to avoid.”

For once, Susan seems amused by his response rather than pushy. She bobs her head and asks again, nonetheless.

“ _So_ then, Mr Winger, have you or have you not met anyone recently?”

Jeff sighs, relaxing into the couch in his therapist’s office like he does every other week. Their previous session had been about trying to focus on teaching and once again, dropping the alcohol, or the alcohol _levels_ at least.

“Uh, yeah, I guess so.”

“Tell me about them.” She picks up her pen and starts to write.

“It’s my neighbour actually, she moved in almost two months ago?”

“What’s her name? For note's sake.” Susan points her pen out, her eyebrows raised and her ears ready and waiting.

“Annie.”

“So, what’s Annie like?”

“What do you want, like a profile on her?” He raises an eyebrow and catches her looking at him a little deeper than before, eyes squinted.

“Sure.”

“She’s like under five foot five, she works in forensics or some fancy job like that, she’s also a mom… her boyfriend or whatever left her when she was barely a month pregnant, and I guess, now she’s living next to me.”

“Oh, she’s a mom? A single mom?” Susan nods and scratches under her nose, before leaning over to the other side of her desk to unclip the top of her water bottle and gulp some down in refreshment.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Have you met her…?” She waves a hand in the air questioningly as she rights herself in her chair again.

“Son.” Jeff confirms, “Yeah, a few times.”

“Do you want kids?” She blurts out bluntly.

He laughs at her like she’s sprouted a pair of alien antennas out of the back of her head, or like there’s a cartoon character dancing on the window ledge behind her.

“Why would you ask that? You’re not seriously suggesting I like her because she has a kid, are you?”

She shakes her head and looks at him blankly.

“No, not at all.”

And then continues to write to when he looks away from her.

“But I am correct in the fact _you’re_ suggesting you like her?”

“Yeah, sure, I’d maybe even call her a friend.”

“I’m surprised you haven’t brought her up in the past few weeks. What about her son, then? What’s he like? Does he like you?”

“I don’t know, I don’t really know enough about kids to know whether he does or not.”

“So, you’ve interacted?”

“Yeah we played a couple of times at the park and I guess I bought him ice cream the other week.”

“She must like you then? Enough for her to let you be involved with him. That must be a big decision for a mom. Does she remind you of your own mother?”

“Oh, yeah sure, she totally reminds me of my sixty-six-year-old mom.” Jeff smirks, feeling as if he’s stopped her in her tracks.

“No, but it’s a similar story, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know, is it?”

She taps her pen against the side of her desk as if she’s trying to prove she’s given it some thought.

“I can see how you might relate and it might be comforting for both of you to have something in common. That’s if, as I already asked, she likes you?”

“Sure, I guess so.”

“And… what about the romantic side of things? Are you attracted to her? Or is that not what we should be focused on here?”

Jeff shrugs, losing eye contact. He’s barely a ‘romantic’ kind of guy in the first place, so it’s not like he’s going to turn around and say that yes, there’s something there. His signals and lines and the few bones he’s thrown in Annie’s direction have definitely started to be received more clearly, but nothing is for definite, and that’s fine by him. He was just trying, and maybe Susan should cut him some slack because, in one way, he tried what she asked of him; they’re friends first, right?

That gets him thinking about Britta, and how his explanation of their ‘relationship’ hadn’t made Susan blink an eyelid like it was just expected he’d be friends and _also_ take her to bed at night. There was no discussion as to whether he should try or push forward or ask for anything more. It all aligned with what was happening anyway; Britta never wanted to try or push forward with him. She wanted to feel good about making _him_ feel good, and if anyone ever got in the way of that, she’d fluff her feathers and stand her ground. There was a sense of exclusivity like she’d always come back to him, but never actually stay.

“Sure, she’s hot and young and… _beautiful,_ but there’s nothing there, not… yet.”

* * *

 

“Thanks for letting us come over. I didn’t really feel like going out, but even the slightest change in scenery is a good distraction for him.” Jeff shrugs as he stands at the end of the couch where she’s laying. Milo’s on the floor in front of her, kneeling as he crashes two metal aeroplane toys together in the air. “I hope we didn’t disturb you from working?” She nods to the side to the dining room which has a stack of folders on it.

“It’s fine. I’ve started to get all of my work finished on campus so I don’t have to bring so much home. That’s just old stuff.” She pouts in acknowledgement, crossing her legs over so her toes are pointing up at him on the arm of the sofa. There’s a lull in the conversation, so Jeff stands over them and decides what to do with his hands, reaching down and skimming her foot before thinking better of it; scratching under his nose instead. She pulls away her foot anyway, repositioning herself so she can watch Milo more closely. Jeff follows suit, swinging his hand in the air before dropping to the ground nonchalantly, his legs out to the side as he leans on his elbow.

Milo rises before crashing back down the carpet, swapping his planes for some plastic toys which seem to roll across the floor. He sits back and takes in Jeff, pouting in thought before picking up a toy and shoving it forward into Jeff’s face.

“Do you want one?”

Jeff squints as he focuses his eyes on the toy, plucking it from Milo’s hands just before he drops it. He’s about to ask what it is when Milo demonstrates himself, rolling a similar but different coloured version along the coffee table surface.

“It moves!”

“Ahh…” Jeff tries it out himself, rolling the bottom of the toy along the palm of his hand, before fiddling with the moving fish which he presumes is meant to move with the wheels like it’s swimming. There’s a plastic hook underneath the fish so he tugs and it comes apart, making Annie laugh as his eyes widen in fear of the thought that he’s just broken a toddler’s toy.

“Put it back together!”

“Sorry, I don’t know how kids’ toys work.” He shrugs before fixing it swiftly, placing it back down in front of Milo to avoid breaking anything else apart. Annie yawns then, hiding it behind her hand before smiling.

“Do you know how anything to do with kids works?”

He bobs his head. “Not really.”

“Do you want to _learn_ how anything to do with kids works?”

He bobs his head in the other direction and repeats himself. “Not really.” This time, however, he doesn’t sound all that convinced, like his voice has a twinge of curiosity within it; like it wouldn’t take all that much to show him the ropes, just out of intrigue to see how capable he truly is.

“Just count yourself lucky you don’t have to start potty training this week. Jeff should count himself lucky, shouldn’t he?” She stretches out as Milo stands, squinting at the planes he’s started to play with again.

“What?!” He blurts out, his foot stamping at the same time. Jeff watches as Annie leans forward, her arm of the couch so she can tug Milo towards her by the fabric of his t-shirt.

“Milo, what do we say?”

“What did you say, Mommy?”

“Or…?” She nods forward, watching him pointedly and awaiting his response. Jeff stays put, watching them intently. “Ex…?”

“Excuse me.”

“I said… Jeff should count himself lucky for not having to do potty training this week, shouldn’t he? But you’re going to do a good job, aren’t you?” He nods before turning his back again. Jeff is smiling widely, shaking his head in awe.

“What?” He shrugs at Annie’s confusion.

“He’s so smart.”

“You think?”

“Yeah, totally. I can't remember being that smart when I was a kid.”

“Nobody can…” She tilts her head, thinking back to the earliest memory of being five years old, bouncing up and down in front of her mother as she soothed her newborn brother.

“No, as in, I was never really that smart at all.”

“What? Jeff, I highly doubt that. You’re a teacher, you have a smart head on your shoulders.”

He shrugs again, folding in his knees so he can hunch over and conceal himself partly.

“It was more the reading side. Didn't really help that I had a cra…la, la, la…” She laughs at his attempt at concealing his swear, rolling her hand in the air to prompt him to continue.

“…dad who thought I was a waste of space even without the learning.”

Annie sighs, reaching out for Milo to try and brush his hair like she’ll be comforting a younger Jeff, somehow. Ever since having Milo she’s become more intrigued by people’s younger selves; what they looked like, how they spoke, what their dreams were.

“I’m worried I praise him too much and that I push him into learning too much. It's hard to find a balance.”

Jeff smiles but it doesn't quite reach his eyes as he watches Milo who is walking towards him, his small feet making large strides.

“He seems pretty balanced to me.”

She nods before settling herself into the couch more comfortably, enjoying a few moments of uninterrupted bliss as Milo does his own thing. He decides to drop down in front of Jeff then, though, diving towards his chest as he trips over a toy and laughs as Jeff tries to catch him.

“I take that back.” Jeff chuckles, stirring Annie from her daze, finding Milo now half on top of Jeff and half on the floor. He’s smiling, though, letting out a squeal every time Jeff goes to move.

“Is he ticklish?” Jeff asks from behind Milo’s ear, the word resonating with him, his legs kicking up as he giggles again.

“He used to be when he was a baby.”

“Hmm. I guess that means I can find out now, then?”

Annie flicks up her eyebrows before winking, Jeff’s grin widening as he rolls over slightly and manoeuvres Milo into a straight line on top of him. Annie huffs out a laugh but it soon transforms into a yawn as she brings her hands to her face and brushes her hair out of the way.

Milo’s grin is beaming as Jeff slowly pushes him up into the air, the small amount of weight being pushed onto Jeff’s shoulders from where he lies.

“Are you ticklish? Are you? Hmm? Just a little bit?”

“No!” Milo’s shrieking but he’s grinning and wriggling happily, his feet kicking up in the air and his small ribcage twisting between Jeff’s palms. His fingers curl up when Milo stills himself briefly, dancing up and down against his t-shirt until the sensation proves too much and he starts off in a fit of giggles and hysterics.

“You _are_ ticklish.” Jeff grins, raising his eyebrows before beginning to jostle him from side to side. It’s entertaining, almost ego boosting in fact, knowing that he can put a smile on a kid’s face and a laugh in his voice so easily.

“No! Mommy! Mommy!”

Jeff’s eyes widen, looking left and right, pretending to search for her.

“Huh! What’s your mommy gonna’ do, huh? Huh?”

“Noooo!” He’s still laughing, his hands going up to his eyes as if to try and hide his obvious excitement and glee but without any attempt at concealing the smile that lets it all through.

Jeff flips him over then, his arms circling him and pinning him down into the carpet to his side so he can tickle him with a new technique of blowing against his stomach and shaking his beard and chin at the same time. He’s pretty certain his mom used to call it a ‘raspberry’ or some other fruit related name which makes no sense at all. His dad never did it, though; it was either a pat on the head, a slap on the wrist, a ruffle of his hair or something he’d rather not remember.

By the time Milo fully grabs Annie’s attention, he’s in the air with his arms spread out, right above Jeff’s head. She’s been on her phone, embracing someone else taking the reins for a while.

“Are you having fun?”

“Yeah.” He’s not looking at her when he replies anymore because his eyes are pinned on Jeff who’s poking his tongue out and trying all the classic tactics of trying to create a laugh or two. The veins in his arms are prominently on show as he carries on holding Milo’s weight, the real strength in them covered up by his navy t-shirt, which unknown to Milo, is clinging in all the right places.

That’s one positive of handing over Milo to Jeff for a moment or two; she can admire his sculpted form and strong jawline from a distance and if he just so happens to turn and catch her biting her lip, she can turn it into a grin and a wave at her son instead.

Annie was right about something, though, he has a smart head on his shoulders so when he looks up at her he sends a knowing smile back. It gets him thinking about the envelope in the fruit bowl on his kitchen countertop, the paper torn in a straight line but the card slipped back in and untouched since it was opened three weeks ago.

There’s nothing really stopping him. If she says no, she says no, and if she says yes, he can drop out and cancel it at any time anyway… it’s just that Britta is against marriage more than anyone, even himself, and he knows if he takes just any woman his reputation for sleeping around will only worsen, and if he attends alone, well, he’ll end up looking like a forty-year-old failure among a sea of couples and happy families.

As his thoughts have drifted off, he finds himself using Milo as more of a weight lifting system, lowering and raising him at a steady speed. Annie must catch on because she laughs a little before he finally speaks up.

“What are you doing, in like… two weeks’ time?”

Annie tilts her head, humming in thought.

“I’m two!” Milo’s got his chin up in the air but he’s still looking down at Jeff, his eyes looking down over the apples of his tiny cheeks.

“Yeah.” Jeff nods with a grin, turning his head into the side of the carpet beneath him to look at Annie to see if she has an answer.

“Probably not a lot.” She curves her head down so she can see his full face, his forehead previously concealed by the arm of the couch. She bites her lip and smiles. “Why do you ask?”

He goes to answer but looks away, easing Milo down in a stretch.

“So, I think I mentioned that someone I know is getting married. He was from work and it actually turns out he has a kid, well, it doesn’t _turn out,_ I already knew that but, basically the whole day is going to be super sappy and family friendly and they’re making a big deal out of it, it’s like a summer fayre themed wedding which, makes no sense when you get to know the guy, but, I was thinking since you have Milo and, well,” He pushes Milo up into the air, a slightly more tense expression on his face than last time, like perhaps his shoulders are about to give way after holding his weight for a fair amount of time, “seeing as I don’t have my own kid… maybe, you might want to tag along. I don’t know, maybe. It might give you something different to do, seeing as you’re always looking for distractions.”

“I wouldn’t say _always,_ and they’re not distractions, it’s a tactic to keep him happy, finding things that keep him busy.”

Jeff pouts and bobs his head, almost nudging Milo’s nose with his own as he lowers him a little lower than before.

“Well, do you want to keep him busy and tag along to this big family wedding in a couple of weeks?” He glances at her, returning his focus to Milo when he catches her smiling intently with a hint of suspicion.

“When is it again?”

“Um,” He goes to point a hand to the kitchen counter but realises it’s impossible without dropping Milo completely, so he lifts a foot slightly instead, “you’d have to check my fruit bowl. I think I threw it in there.”

“What did they do, write it on a banana or something?” He can see her smirking from the corner of his eye, and he grits his teeth some more, biting back a smile of his own. She rolls her eyes and stands up, walking herself to the kitchen to rifle through a selection of apples, one banana, a packet of mixed oats and, eventually, an opened envelope with gold writing on the front.

“Mommy, can _I_ have a banana?” Jeff has to scrunch up his face in order to brace himself for ringing ears after Milo’s screeching call to the kitchen. He takes it as his time to put him down, running his fingers down his sides as he stands him up on his feet for a moment, Milo’s shoulders hunching over as he laughs.

“You’d have to ask Jeff, it’s not our banana to eat, little guy. Hmm?” Milo’s already across the room into the kitchen, nodding against Annie’s leg as Jeff straightens his t-shirt before leaning against the counter. Annie has an amused smile on her face as she handles the invite, her lips pursing at a detail on the page, it seems.

So, technically he didn’t just open the envelope and put the piece of card back in straight away. He filled in his name and put a line through the dietary requirements box (because apparently, weddings need them?) and _then_ slipped it back inside, but it basically doesn’t count because he still hasn’t sent it and confirmed anything in the written word.

But underneath that all, there’s a box to tick for a plus one, and a box for their name and a box for their dietary requirements too, but it’s all blank and empty like he’s been waiting for someone to fill them.

When she looks up at him again he’s busying himself with a chopping board and the banana that was in the bowl. It’s unpeeled and he’s chopping it into thin checker piece slices before dumping each one into a small cereal bowl.

“Do you have a pen?” His eyes widen in confusion before his eyes drop to the invite and he steps back and wipes his sticky banana fingers on the backs of his jeans. He turns around and grabs the closest pen he can find on the dining room table, letting it roll across towards her before he drops down behind the counter. It sounds like a door is opening so she presumes he’s doing something else banana related.

She checks the tick box, writes in her name with Milo’s beside it in brackets and leaves a note about nuts in the dietary box because he’s still not quite old enough to start eating them, before clicking the top of the pen so the nib shuts itself away. Milo’s gone back to his toys on the floor so she slides the card and its envelope to the centre of the counter before padding away to join him, not looking back at what Jeff’s still doing.

When he stands back, he notices she’s gone but soon finds her and locates the invite. He scans the writing briefly before stepping back and holding up the plastic-wrapped chocolate wafer for the ingredients. He shrugs, dropping it into the bowl before casually walking over to them, dropping to the space Annie’s left on the couch.

He plucks out the wafer again, just in case.

“He can eat this right? I mean, there’s no nuts but… it’s chocolate so…”

She’s watching the back of Milo’s head so she has to put two and two together when she finally recognises his question. She looks at the packet in his hand, then to Milo and back to the bowl filled with banana slices. She smiles, and nods, and tries not to smile even more when Jeff leans down and places the bowl on the carpet.

“Banana.” He drops his voice over Milo’s shoulder, watching his face light up and his toy drop the ground.

“What do you say, Milo?”

“Thanks!” He’s not looking at Jeff because he’s holding a banana slice mid-air, ready to eat, but it still counts. Jeff finds it rather intriguing to watch Milo inspect each piece like it’s a gold coin instead of a similarly sized piece of yellowy mush, so it’s only when Milo’s finished half the bowl when he sits back and notices Annie watching him. Her lips are slightly parted and one of her eyebrows is raised a small amount but there’s a smile in her eyes; a smile of gratitude and maybe a small smile of want and need and perhaps a small smile of lust if Jeff wants to be greedy about it.

“Mommy, it’s not open.”

Her focus flips like a switch, though, as she leans forward towards Milo again.

“You can’t open it?”

He shakes his head and passes her the wafer, making Jeff realise he probably should have dealt with that beforehand.


	7. The One to Tell You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He’s half smiling like he does, all unsure but sure at the same time, happy but too proud to admit it, and she knows, she really knows then that she needs it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (On time and with over 8,000 words. Enjoy!)

Work and life suddenly picks up before the big day. It’s not a big day, it’s just what Annie likes to label it in her mind because for one woman, the woman walking down the aisle to become the new step-mother and new wife of the child and father that Jeff seems to already be acquainted with, it _will_ be a big day. It won’t be for Annie though because ever since giving birth, most events and dates in her diary never quite fill her up with the same amount of anticipation as the date circled on her calendar for those long nine months.

She says ‘most’ because there are certain events like job interviews which get her nail picking and leg bouncing for days on end until she finally gets some good news. That’s understandable, though, seeing as she relies on her job not only to propel herself further with her career but also to keep her son alive and well with the money she receives at the end of each week.

There are constant loads of diapers to be bought (which will hopefully cut down once the potty training starts to kick in – another task which has been making the weeks seem more manic); new clothes every few months after a growth spurt or after one too many food stains; shoes at least once or twice a year depending on how much the growth spurts affected his shoe size and depending on what the weather is treating them like; baby specific no-tears bath products; snacks and treats in the weekly shopping; check-ups and appointments with the paediatrician; daycare bills; gifts for his friends _from_ daycare; Shirley’s babysitting fees and currently, the cost of a smart casual outfit for the, not that important or much anticipated, big day.

She takes off the afternoon of the Saturday before to go shopping with Milo on his own. He’s never the most convenient shopping partner so she’s invested in a backpack with reigns for him to entertain himself with. When he wants his own way, though, he’ll run as far as the straps will reach and she’ll end up tugging him backwards until he slumps on the floor and creates a scene. She only needs to look in one store which tends to always have what she’s looking for, though, so she presumes she’ll be in and out within no time to avoid that happening.

Even if it doesn’t exactly give a great portrayal of her parenting skills, Milo decides to sit instead of run this time, planting his diaper-padded bottom on the floor of an overly illuminated H&M. She knows that what she’ll end up buying him won’t be the best quality but she’ll make sure he wears everything until it has holes in it, even if that means he wears a smart pair of chinos to the park.

“Mommy?” She hums in response as she pulls out several different hangers of pants, flipping them over and turning them around to check the sizes and lengths.

“What’s that?” She pokes her head around the rack she’s sorting through to see the figure he’s pointing at.

“That’s a mannequin. That’s what they put the clothes on to show us how to wear things, but I think that one is broken because it’s lost a leg.” She’s about to go back to looking at the chinos again when he points out another finger.

“What’s that?” He’s still pointing in the same direction, though, so she presumes he must be questioning how the mannequin is put together.

“That’s the metal rod that should keep the leg on but it’s fallen off.”

“Oh.” She smiles at him before finally settling on two different sizes of pants for him to try on in the changing room. She just needs to find a shirt and possibly a waistcoat if they have any for a reasonable price.

“Come on then.” He stands up without much fuss and continues to stay in check for the rest of the day, surprisingly. The mirrors in the changing rooms entertained him whilst she slipped him in and out of different outfits and the lady working at the checkout let him sit up on the counter as she scanned in each of the items which made him feel bigger than he really is.

They find a corner of a coffee shop where she lets him have a carton of juice and an icing covered cookie to fill him with some energy. There’s something particularly draining about shopping, Annie finds, but perhaps it’s walking around with a toddler that skewers the effect of retail therapy.

She thinks about texting Jeff when Milo’s quiet and resting because the coffee cup reminds her of him and the fact she hasn’t seen him as much in the past week. She wonders if work has been busy for him too but the way he always speaks about teaching suggests that he’ll never be as tied down as he might seem.

She wings it anyway, making up something about coffee never tasting as good as the cups he had previously delivered to her door. He replies with a wink and a line about ‘coffee never tasting as good without me involved’ when she’s finished getting Milo into the car and as she puts her phone in the cup holder of the centre console.

She laughs under her breath but leaves it without replying seeing as she’s not sure what else to say. It rattles with a vibration when she’s stationary at a red light, a new message from him once again, asking whether their paths will cross in the park tomorrow or not because of the coffee. She says she’ll see him at about nine thirty before mindlessly talking to Milo as she pulls away from the traffic signal.

“Are we going to see Jeff at the park tomorrow?”

He pops his bottom lip out like he does when he isn’t sure what to say or how to voice exactly what he’s thinking. He makes a noise instead, almost like a screeching honk and a high pitch squeal all at the same time. He repeats it in a pattern and she tilts her head because she notices something familiar like he’s pretending to be something else.

“What’s that noise?”

“Oo, eeee, monkey!” She can see him throw his arms up in the air from her rear-view mirror and she tilts her head and grins over her shoulder briefly as the road is clear.

“Because of the monkey bars?”

“Banana!”

She nods to herself whilst indicating, slightly impressed by his own imagination and intuition.

“Because monkeys eat bananas. Huh.”

When she gets back, she’s straight in the bathroom with Milo on his toilet seat. He stays on for a long enough time that Annie can actually feel herself dozing off. She’s sat with her back up against the closed bathroom door, her knees bent upwards with her arms crossed over them, phone in hand.

Even though she can hear Jeff clunking around through the walls, meaning she could have just knocked on the door on her way back in, she messages him again to tell him that she thinks Milo has found him his animal equivalence.

She takes Milo off the seat at least twice but each time he steps down, he’s adamant on getting straight back up because he’s certain he’ll go _this_ time. The tactic currently in practice is the idea of just letting him sit and wait it out in his own time. She’ll make sure he gets down before it’s too late to even start on dinner, though, of course.

The daycare centre has already started on most of the potty training but the evenings are up to Mommy on her own. They’ve reported that he’s successfully ‘been’ at least five times but she could tell by the tone of the woman’s voice that compared to the other children, it was insignificant, so she needs to have him going back each day with a little bit more progress. She’s read that it’s all about giving the child the time they need, though, even if it’s for longer than expected.

Her phone buzzes when she’s sat against the door again.

JEFF: If anything I’m a tiger

JEFF: I have to have some sort of sex appeal 

She looks up and sighs.

“Okay, Milo I’m giving you one more minute and then we can try again after you’ve eaten.”

“No, Mommy!”

“Yes, Milo.”

He rocks back and forth and tests her patience and finally after the sixty seconds have passed, she picks him up, slides his underwear back on and leaves him to the roam the apartment pants free whilst she texts Jeff between making dinner.

ANNIE: Who says you have sex appeal?

JEFF: All the women who have been in my bed

ANNIE: Wow, that’s one way to seduce somebody.

JEFF: Who says I’m seducing any1?

ANNIE: Not many people suggest ‘come over to my place’ without intending to actually suggest ‘come over to my place’.

JEFF: I’m obviously not doing a gr8 job with seduction if you haven’t come over yet

ANNIE: You’re not as vain as I thought, seeing as you’re admitting that you’re not.

He doesn’t reply then, he probably just chews his lip and tries not to react.

She seems him the next day like planned and he brings coffee and Milo jumps around and imitates a monkey again and Jeff finally succumbs to doing an impression which lasts three seconds but makes Milo laugh for longer.

Although she’s figured out what Milo will be wearing, Annie’s still unsure when it comes to her own outfit so she asks Jeff what he’s planning on wearing seeing as the dress code is apparently ‘summery but smart’. He doesn’t give her an answer, though, instead, he jokes about not being able to discuss their wedding outfits before the actual day as if they’re the bride and groom themselves. She rolls her eyes and sips on her coffee, holding the lid up to her smile as she stays put beside him on the bench, his eyes raking up and down her with a stupidly wide grin on his face.

They walk back to the apartment block together and Milo talks to himself in broken up sentences the whole way, finally exclaiming loudly and clearly outside their doors that ‘Jeff’s room has to have a snack’. Translation – he wants to eat his snack in Jeff’s apartment rather than in his own.

“That’s what happens when you go giving him a chocolate wafer.”

Jeff unlocks his door and backs himself into it whilst throwing his hands up in the air.

“You said he could eat it!”

She stops and smiles and only moves when he waves his hands through the open door, making her nod and walk forward with Milo seated in his stroller.

“Just do whatever, I need to go take a shower.” Jeff drops his headphones and phone on the kitchen counter and kicks off his shoes in the middle of the living room before pushing into his bedroom and on into the bathroom. Annie can hear the water start running almost immediately so she unclips Milo and searches for a packet of chips in the bottom stroller compartment, standing back up straight to find Milo kicking his toe at Jeff’s sneakers.

She can see he’s pouting at them and when she draws nearer he sticks out a finger and points out that they’re dirty. She ruffles his hair and picks them up, finding a space in his shoe rack by the door to slide them in before setting Milo down on the couch for him to enjoy the snack he so badly requested to eat there.

She finds Jeff’s TV remote and switches to the only cartoon channel he has before sitting back and plucking out a chip from Milo’s bag every now and then because he’s rather well equipped at sharing things. Five minutes later Jeff’s bedroom door opens followed by Jeff himself. He has a towel around his neck which he’s using to rub the back of his hair with but other than that he’s shirtless with a pair of jeans.

Annie can’t help but think that perhaps he took their text conversation to heart as he saunters over, standing behind them to inspect what’s on TV. She tries not to stare for too long but his hair is spiked up in a dishevelled style rather than in a neat point and swoop at the front and she can’t help but look. Her eyes don’t tear away from him within enough time so he drops his chin and smiles back at her and she looks away shyly, Milo’s giggle reeling her back into his bubble.

“Speaking of what I’m wearing to the wedding, you haven’t even _seen_ me in my suit.”

She shakes her head and tries to blank him out as he walks away and throws his towel on the floor in front of his washing machine, picking up a folded t-shirt from a pile above it.

“Oh, and just you wait until my birthday because _that_ suit… that’s a suit to see me in.”

She has to pinch the bridge of her nose as he slumps down to the right of her, his arms already through his t-shirt, ready to be slipped up and over onto his shoulders and down his chest.

“Get it?” He pokes her in the arm and her eyes drop again but she’s able to resist this time.

“Yes, I got it.”

“Mommy?” Luckily Milo’s timing is perfect for once as he asks for her attention.

“Yes, sweetie?”

“When’s my birthday?”

“It’s at the end of next month, so still a while yet.”

Milo huffs out before taking an extra loud crunch of one of the last chips in the bag, whilst Annie shoots Jeff a glare.

“You can’t just go around saying things like… _birthday suit,_ with a child in the room. He’s like a parrot, he’ll repeat anything.”

“So, I can say…-.”

“No, don’t!” The back of her hand goes directly to his chest, along with his eyes as he smirks at her attempt a berating him. She sighs and pulls her hand away, her fingers trailing along his skin and the hairs growing there. He hasn’t dragged out an attempt at hitting on someone for this long that any kind of contact is now a minor form of torture, so he buries his head in the hem of his t-shirt and takes a little longer to pull himself out of it. He’s not sure he can even call it an attempt anymore because he has to admit he kind of just enjoys the attention and the fact that she doesn’t know enough about him to really start to dig underneath his skin.

Although, she probably should.

She should probably know that the wedding she’s plus-one’ing with him is the wedding of one of his old law firm colleagues and not a teacher from Greendale. She might have caught on to that already, however, seeing as it would be near impossible for anyone on a Greendale salary to afford anything near as elaborate as Clive and his fiancée are planning. Not that Jeff knows all that much. He still only keeps in contact for the future.

He should probably tell her.

So, when he sits back fully clothed, he watches her for a moment and then takes a breath. It really shouldn’t be this difficult. Everyone knows.

“I should probably tell you that the guy getting married, well, he’s not from Greendale. He’s a lawyer.”

She’s watching the screen ahead but he can tell she’s listening because she’s nodding along with a furrow of concentration in her brow.

“Because, I um, I used to be a lawyer.” Annie turns then because of course, she does. She scans his face and then there must be a moment where she accepts it’s the truth because she blinks and smiles with just her bottom lip like she often does, even though it’s hard to explain and hard to describe, it’s the smile he knows when she’s appreciating something. He’s just not sure why she is this time around.

He bites his lip and is almost squinting in confusion and so she shrugs and lets it be. Of course, she wants to know more, in fact, she’s on a train of thought which has her thinking about the day she’d explained most of herself to him out in the open, but the way he says it and the way he’s looking at her reads as if he’s not quite ready to explain.

Nobody should ever be forced to explain, even if it’s hard not to; even if it’s hard not to ask. In his own time, she thinks.

* * *

 

The last wedding Jeff attended was his cousin Christina’s wedding back when he was still working in the same firm as Clive, and Alan, and Mark, and Ted, and all the people who he is now entirely envious of. Apart from Alan. Alan was dead to him, in Jeff’s mind. It’s not a particularly fond memory to think back to. He’d just paid off part of his mom’s mortgage so she no longer had anything more to pay and he’d resigned himself to not having to involve himself in much of her life anymore.

It was the kind of thing his dad would have done but that’s how he dealt with things at that stage; blaming the man who wreaked havoc on their home and left his mom having to pick up the pieces. Now he deals with things by visiting her every two months or on any kind of holiday and by talking to a therapist whilst also having the very odd and admittedly helpful (very sparse, once in a couple of years) conversation with Britta.

So not only had the day been over the top and dragged out, it had also been tense and uncomfortable between the one person who he shouldn’t have been tense and uncomfortable with. She’d deserved better than that; she’d deserved better than a son that sold himself out of her life and lied about the rest of it.

He looks himself in the mirror one last time, straightens his blue tie which is patterned with white polka dots and unhooks the hanger from the edge of his wardrobe which is holding his suit jacket.

He’s going because he needs to stay in with these people. He can use them and sweet talk them and when he’s eventually back where he wants to be, he can give them a hand when they’re working their own way up. And, if Annie and Milo happen to enjoy themselves whilst also arriving as his plus-one (and a half – he’s not sure what Milo calculates to in terms of invitation fractions), it will soften the blow of having to watch two people who barely know each other sign themselves off for what generally tends to leads to imminent divorce.

He waits outside his door for a few minutes, his blazer neatly folded over his arm with the hanger still inside so he can hook it into the back seat of his Lexus. He’s about to slip his phone out of his pocket but then Annie’s door opens and he’s standing up straight.

He can see the light flowing hem of her dress; maroon, dotted with flowers in a light chiffon fabric that dances as she moves. It’s not until she steps into the hallway that he can see the full extent of it with its low-dipping neckline which is made acceptable with a bow tying the dip of the V together. The sleeves are like caps over her shoulders and she’s wearing a pair of flats that wrap around her ankles and when she looks at him she looks dazed and hurried and gorgeous.

He looks down at himself to check whether he matches up in comparison but this time there’s a clear winner.

“Wo..ah.” He scratches under his nose as he makes an embarrassing noise of appreciation, the thought alone making him shake his head. For a second she laughs and smiles but then her eyes go back to the still opened door.

“Oh, just you wait. We’re both about to get knocked out of the water.”

“Hmm?” Jeff leans forward slightly, confused by her statement.

“Milo, come on. Milo! Milo… _Milo…”_ She ends up going back inside the door, tucking her loosely curled hair behind her ear so she can bend down and talk to him, “…Jeff’s out here waiting for you and he _really_ wants to see your outfit. Okay? Are you going to go and show it off?”

Jeff scuffs his feet when he hears a tiny reply of ‘Yeah’, looking up only to laugh in awe at the sight of Milo dressed up in a pair of rolled up chinos, lace up sneakers, a white shirt and a grey waistcoat that is in a similar shade to Jeff’s, coincidentally.

“See? What did I say? Adorable, right?”

He just shrugs.

“Yeah, even I can admit that.”

When she places her hand on Milo’s back to push him into the hallway some more though she notices that Jeff’s gone back to watching her and she can see him snap himself out of it and assess the situation like she does.

“Okay, so when we’re downstairs we’ll put his seat in the back, the stroller in the trunk. I have his things in my bag and a blanket for when he needs a sleep, I have water, snacks, juice, sunscreen and…” She throws her hands up in the air and spins her head around but stops when she catches Jeff walking forward to put his hand on her shoulder, “…oh.”

“ _Relax._ I’m sure you have everything under control but you need to chill out a little bit because one of the main reasons I’m going to this thing is so you can have a fun free day out for your kid, and if that screws up, then things are just going to get awkward, okay?”

Her eyes bug as he goes to move his hand so he keeps it firmly in and place and starts to brush his thumb across the dip of her collarbone. When she speaks, she’s hushed and her eyes are darting around the walls.

“Do… _do you think they’ll_ know _I’m only there for him?_ I don’t know who these people are! You’ve barely even told me who they are to you. They could be anybody. What if I know them?! What if Milo goes to the same daycare as their kid and it’s already awkward because I didn’t get an invite?”

“I highly doubt that, he’s a lawyer, he has a shi… _p,_ tonne of money.”

He immediately regrets his choice of words as she stares back at him pointedly. He raises an eyebrow and tries again.

“He... has so much money that his kid probably sits on a golden potty and doesn’t _need_ to go to daycare?”

And again.

“He..., no, Milo is way too smart, his kid has to go to a different kind of daycare.”

She rolls her eyes as she follows the line from his fingers up to the top of his arm. 

“ _Better_ but you should never wish that on a child so we shall never speak of this again.”

“Great! Can we go now?” He tilts his head and she nods and goes to move but then something looks off and she’s reaching up to his shirt suddenly, her fingers pinching at the sides of his tie, tugging it from side to side. She must be leaning up in her shoes because he’s never noticed her being this close to him before but he’s not about to stop it. In fact, when she stops and smiles his eyes dart to her lips and not just because her expression is contagious.

She licks them shyly.

“Your tie wasn’t straight.”

He bites his own.

“Mommy, go!”

And that’s their call to leave.

* * *

 

Jeff’s certain that the leather of his car is now scuffed due to Milo’s seat when he arrives that they spend at least fifteen minutes getting out of the car. Luckily, Annie was the one who arranged the timing for a wedding that _Jeff_ was invited to so they have time to spare before they arrive later than the bride herself, but either way, it still causes unnecessary hassle.

When she tries to speak over his shoulder of the open passenger door, he turns his head like an owl and glares at her to be quiet as he checks all sides of the padded base. She knows it can’t have made any permanent damage because all the corners are rounded off for this exact reason but she waits for him to assure himself anyway, watching Milo scuff at the gravel covered parking lot on the edge of the venue’s field. It’s not sunny, but it’s not dull, so Annie is squinting and peering out at the view with a hand over her forehead when he stands up straight and closes the door.

“Alright kiddos, let’s go.”

Annie touches the back of Milo’s head to push him on forward, his legs chopping in front of each other over the stones under food. His waistcoat is undone and slightly oversized so it’s flapping up behind as he moves.

“Kiddo, plural?” Annie asks as Jeff falls into step with her, his suit jacket now on. He’s watching Milo it seems so she takes the spare moment to appreciate his full ensemble and notice how well the grey compliments him. The sky isn’t doing too bad a job of lighting up his eyes either, where blue shines through between bright white clouds.

“Oh no, I can see you’re all woman.” There’s a gate to push through so when he finally responds he’s leaning over her slightly to let her and Milo walk first, his hand dropping from the wooden lever to small of her back and staying there until he feels as if he’s clinging onto her possessively. The fabric of her dress drops and sways when he moves away, the breeze keeping it in motion.

She wants to make a joke about him being all _man_ but she also wants to keep the thought to herself so she looks to the ground bashfully and then sighs as she looks up to the aisles of white chairs laid out in the decorated field. It’s not exactly her kind of wedding or any kind of wedding she would ever imagine Jeff at but she can appreciate the effort they’ve put into it; whoever they are.

Ever since he’d told her she’s been watching him differently, and reading his messages differently and envisioning him behind a different desk when he texts from work and through their neighbouring walls, and even now when he’s walking beside her in his suit, she can’t help but stare off into the distance and place him someplace else. It’s like a persistent bug bite; she needs to itch the surface to try and work out what Jeff The Lawyer was like. He can’t have been that much different because people don’t necessarily change dramatically just because of a change in direction, do they? She finds herself wondering.

Even though her mother might have thought it, she didn’t become a new version of Annie when she decided to take up forensics rather than the medical path she’d been aiming for. So, maybe he’d always wanted to teach but life had led him in another direction? Or maybe he just wanted to switch things up? Or maybe, she doesn’t need to know. Maybe she’s just curious.

The chairs are nearing and the guests already seated and mingling are starting to be heard in earshot, so when Milo speaks up she looks around to see if anyone is watching.

“Mommy!”

Jeff carries on walking a step or two more but stops when he realises she has.

“Carry me, please?”

“Carry _you_ , please?”

He raises his hands up in the air and Jeff grins in amusement.

“Well, we’re nearly there and I don’t want to trip on this grass whilst carrying you so do you think you can walk?”

When he shakes his head, he bangs his cheeks against his raised shoulders repeatedly.

“Come on, Mommy’s walking.” She ignores him then, waiting for him to follow as he usually does. She doesn’t watch him stand and pout to the sky, but Jeff does, just in case he stands there forever and Annie doesn’t notice. There are a few other people he doesn’t recognise walking towards them and for a moment he wonders what they see. They’re quick walkers, he notices.

“Mi..” There’s slight hesitation in his voice as he looks over to Annie who is still walking, “Milo. Come on, look where your mommy is.”

He’s holding his face in his hands now, his eyes visible in the gaps between his fingers.

“Milo, come on!” Annie calls from up ahead, not bothering to look back. Jeff tries one more time.

“Hey, buddy…” But Milo just raises his hands again and Jeff finally succumbs to the nagging idea in the back of his mind. He walks the two strides to Milo and scoops him up under his arms, his legs immediately wrapping around the side of Jeff’s torso and his hands going straight to the collar of his suit.

When Annie turns and Jeff nears, she sighs and smiles tightly.

“He should have walked… but…” And then she shrugs and notices Milo’s grin as he rests his cheek on Jeff’s shoulder, “…he seems happy.”

“He won’t slobber on me, right? Because this jacket probably costs more than all of his toys combined which means a whole lot of pocket money will be going into getting me a new one.” She rolls his eyes and curls her finger around one of Milo’s before turning and continuing to walk.

“He’s not a dog.”

She senses he doesn’t know she can hear him when he drops his voice to a hushed tone.

“Nah, you’re not a dog, you’re way too cute.”

The man who directs them to their seats – one of the back rows, close to the edge – points his pen to Jeff and says he’s heard a lot about him and all Jeff does is flick his eyebrows up and carry on walking with Milo in his arms. He goes to sit down but Milo protests and even though Annie makes a point in letting Milo find his own seat, he carries on standing and leaning on either foot every few moments, scanning the field of chairs in a squint.

There’s a manor house up above, creating the backdrop to the actual ceremonial platform which is a flower decorated arch at the end of the aisle, which makes the layout of the whole ordeal rather confusing, especially as what seems to be the post-ceremonial entertainment, is already set up and on display around the field – there’s a traditional red and white popcorn and cotton candy stall and an ice cream truck and a what looks like an unusually decorated bouncy castle which Annie presumes is boarded up to disguise the usually ugly appearance.

The seats around them start filling up and they receive a few smiles and waves from guests around them but until there are only a few dotted seats empty and until the music starts to play, Annie spends most of her time flipping through the booklet of the day and reaching out for Milo’s hand when he wants attention from someone other than Jeff.

There’s a difference between handing Milo over and someone acting as if they know how he works and handing someone over and them simply _handling_ him, so she’s happy to sit back and let Jeff keep Milo under control even if it’s just by holding him up for a while. They’ve been having their own mumbled conversation too which might be some form of bonding; if she and Jeff are going to be friends there’s nothing harmful in Milo putting himself at ease with Jeff too.

“The dream and a fish.”

Milo’s looking at his hands which are clasped out in front of Jeff’s face.

“You dreamt of a fish?”

“And Mommy and chocolate and a blue bear.”

“And of your mommy, and of chocolate and a blue bear?”

He nods and claps his hands so Jeff nods along with him.

“Yeah.”

“Okay… that’s… cool… you know what I dreamt of? I dreamt of a snowboard going down a mountain really, really fast, but nobody was riding it, and then at the end, there were three snowboards but it _felt_ like I was riding one of them. That was really confusing.”

“What’s that?”

“What’s what? A snowboard?”

He nods eagerly and tilts his head with wide eyes, nodding forward so Jeff has to blink and brace for impact.

“A snowboard is a something you use to ride down a really steep hill in the snow. That’s all I can say to describe it. You’re a bit too small to use one, though.”

“Oh.” Milo starts chewing on the edge of his shirt collar then, the conversation going from one ear and out the other. Jeff doesn’t notice because he’s too busy gazing down at Annie and her hair twirling in the wind that by the time he turns back, there’s a stain of drool on the fabric.

“Hey, don’t chew your clothes.”

He doesn’t let the fabric drop when Jeff frowns at him, he just sticks out his bottom lip and holds it between his teeth, tugging slightly.

“Don’t do that, I don’t chew my clothes. It’s not food.”

“Why?” He has to stop to speak so Jeff cringes and folds back the damp corner of his collar with the tips of his fingers.

“Because we don’t eat our clothes. It’s fabric, so we don’t eat it. It makes them all dirty.”

“If he’s doing something he shouldn’t, you should just ignore it, otherwise it highlights it and he makes it into a game.” Annie’s standing now, her hands smoothing around the side of Milo so she can peel him away from Jeff and hold him up on her own hips, turning him away slightly to explain what’s about to happen.

Jeff looks back to the usher and sees that there’s nobody left walking towards the field and realises the mumbling voices coming from behind have started to quieten. When he stands and watches and tries to listen to Annie and Milo’s conversation, someone throws up a hand to him from the front; some guy he vaguely remembers from the firm who used to work in HR.

Annie sits down with Milo in her lap so he does the same thing, straightening his tie and undoing and redoing his suit buttons, flattening down the pockets and patting down where his phone is tucked away.

“Are you going to sit here or are you going to sit on your own chair?”

 _“Jeff’s chair.”_ Annie has to hunch over to hear him whisper into her hair. She doesn’t let go but Milo slips from her grasp and steps down so he can grab onto Jeff’s knee.

“Oh, Milo, no…” Jeff doesn’t argue, though, he just picks him up and lets Milo get comfortable on his own terms.

“Was he getting too heavy for you?” Jeff asks over the top of Milo’s head.

“Oh no, he…” She smiles, “…he wanted to… to sit with you.”

“Ah well, what can I say? I’m _very_ comfortable to sit on.” He leans over with a grin on his face and she wants to swat him again and maybe kiss the expression off his face because she knows it would do the trick, but once more, she just ignores him and tries to suppress her own giddy smile.

And then it goes eerily quiet, the only sounds coming from the trees in the breeze and a car rolling up behind the guests. A head turns down at the front and the reason they’re there finally becomes reality. Milo’s quiet when they stand again because of what Annie expects is intimidation from not only all the strangers surrounding them but also from the music that starts to play from every direction.

Annie can’t deny that the bride’s dress is beautiful; it’s long and covered in lace and decorated with floral embellishments and embroidery and the ribbon tied around her long blonde hair is something from a fairy-tale. Somehow, she knows a fairy tale would come true more easily if there had already been a prince; there would always be someone to protect Milo, whilst she attempted to protect herself.

She’s been thinking more and more about what it would mean to be selfish; what it would mean to take a risk in part of _her_ life instead of always _theirs._ It becomes even easier to tip in the direction of doing so when Jeff seems to understand her. He might not know how she works and she might not know everything about him but they seem to come to an understanding on most levels, so, it could work.

And he’s looking at her like it could work; a raised eyebrow and a smirk slowly playing on his lips as Milo carries on clutching on to him.

The guests proceed to seat themselves again like a wave of heads bobbing up and down, as Rosie – Annie recalls reading on the booklet – finally, reaches Clive. They’re not close enough to see if there are any tears rolling down cheeks but the smiles on their faces say enough.

_“It’s a pretty dress.”_

Milo’s still being shyly quiet so only Jeff can hear him talk between the service. The way he’s dipping his head to hear his voice and respond just as quietly means he’s looking down at the top of Annie’s head, though, watching her smile deepen and widen as time goes on.

 _“It_ is _a pretty dress.”_

_“It has flowers.”_

_“It_ does _have flowers.”_

_“There’s a crown.”_

_“There is a…”_ Jeff lifts his head and smiles with tight lips, “ _yeah, she’s wearing a crown. A tiara.”_

_“Yep. I want one.”_

_“You… a tiara?”_

Milo nods adamantly before turning around in Jeff’s arms to check on his mom who is happily still watching the proceedings in a comfortable silence.

_“I think you’d have to ask her.”_

“Yeah!”

Annie automatically turns her attention then, throwing a finger up to her lips and shaking her head in a shushing motion as Milo smiles down at her innocently. They’re towards the back so only one person in front of them turns around and makes Jeff apologise, but it makes Annie stiffen and stand a little closer, putting a hand on Milo’s foot any time he makes a noise.

The vowels are short and the ceremony is sweet so it’s not long until the deed is done and the music is playing again. Confetti is thrown and the grass is scattered with pastel pieces when the newlywed couple walk their way past all the guests they supposedly wanted to share the day with. His, or _their_ now, son is walking behind them too; older than Milo, maybe six or seven, scratching the back of his head and acting uninterested in his suit jacket that’s too big in the arms.

When Clive reaches the final few rows, Annie presumes he sees Jeff above everyone else due to his height because he throws a two-finger salute at him before changing into a questioning single finger and a raised eyebrow. It takes the time for Clive to walk past and onwards towards the photographer behind them for him to remember he’s holding a child that doesn’t belong to him; or a child, altogether.

Like a dam being opened, when the photographer finishes clicking away, guests start spreading and flooding the field, leaving empty chairs behind.

There’s an evening meal and the main reception inside the manor house for all guests invited but luckily that’s something Jeff can escape from. Annie said she wants to avoid disrupting Milo’s routine if possible too, so all they have to do now is linger around, say hello to the familiar faces he recognises and then be on their way.

The speed at which all the set-up activities and tents open up remind Annie of some sort of production; drinks start being laid out on tables, chairs are cleared away and the grass space becomes a real _celebration_ with families and couples and children and men in suits and men with the same sort of stature as Jeff and yes, it finally fits into place. Maybe outside of the wedding and the flower arrangements and the throwing of the bouquets, she could imagine Jeff being one of these people.

Money and glamour and flashing diamond wedding bands and hair accessories made of curled feathers; the aforementioned children dressed in clothes which still might not fit, but cost more than what Annie _and_ Milo are wearing combined. Everyone is so put together and _grouped_ together, she starts to think something must have _happened_ for Jeff to have left. It can’t be an easy world to slip away from so easily, still trying to grasp onto what you can grab.

Jeff passes her a champagne glass now that Milo is toddling around by her feet. She smiles gratefully as he taps the rim of his own glass onto hers with a chime.

“So, what do you think?” He tosses his head back after drinking, gesturing in the general direction of everything around them.

“It’s… beautiful, and elaborate and _very_ well organised. What about you?”

“Ah, no, I don’t really have an opinion on weddings, I guess because I can never see myself at one. I mean, if I’m going to start thinking about what _this_ is like, that means I have some idea of what I would want, but again, doubtful.”

Annie’s trying to hold back a laugh as she watches people walk by, hopefully not in too close range. Milo’s now picking at a stray daisy in the grass but it doesn’t concern her enough to stop him.

“Let me guess, because of commitment?”

“ _Kind of,_ yeah. They just signed their lives away to each other. Think about all that pressure on their shoulders just because of some _words_ they wrote down.”

“But if they’re in _love_ then the words mean something.” She takes a sip of champagne, cooling herself in the sun that has started to appear.

“Ah well, then I guess I just haven’t found this soul-wrenching, burning love everyone is so desperate to go on about.”

“I guess not.” She smiles and there’s an eye roll in there somewhere. She takes a sip of champagne and passes it to him without asking so she can bend down and take the grass out of Milo’s hand that he’s attempting to chew on. When she stands back up she starts talking with the same expression on her face as she’d had on before going back to mommy duties; thoughtful and concentrated like she’s trying to figure something out.

“You know what one of my good friends would say? He’d say you have to open your heart one day, Jeff.”

“Oh yeah, what will happen if I don’t?”

She shrugs and lets a few blades of grass drift to join the thriving, growing field.

“I can’t be the one to tell you.”

She takes her champagne glass but it feels as if she’s just replaced it with a meaningful conversation to remember, rather than a physical item to hold. One which will nag at the back of his mind because he’s not sure what it means or if it means anything at all. He does that sometimes – latches on to the wrong things, picks up on the wrong clues.

“I think I’m just going to go find a seat and put some sunscreen on him and maybe give him some juice so he can rehydrate, okay? So, I’ll find you in a minute?”

“Huh?” He blinks, “Oh, yeah, sure.”

He watches her walk off into a shaded area beside the marquee holding drinks, chewing on his lip before taking the last swig of his champagne glass, being clapped on the back with a thud as he takes the swallow.

“Winger. Glad you could make it.”

Clive rounds his shoulder, his hand sliding down Jeff’s arm until he claps his hands together and stands tall in front of him. Jeff grins and nods and puts his charm into action.

“Yeah, congratulations, man. It’s, um… interesting.” Jeff grits his teeth and carries on nodding.

“Yeah, well, we’re all full of surprises, speaking of which; who’s the kid and the hot chick? You shacking up with her? Single mom?” Clive raises his eyebrows and Jeff prepares for what he knows is coming, “ _Married?”_ He sighs and answers reluctantly.

“What? No?! No, it’s um, nothing. She’s my neighbour and I had nobody else to bring, and yeah, she has a kid and you made it into a big family event so I thought I may as well use the plus one.”

“Ah, there he is. Winger, always using someone for something. Surprising, though, not even using her in bed.”

Jeff hunches over in a fake laugh because this is what it is; it’s all fake. He kind of hates himself for still going along with it because if Clive knew Annie he’d know she’s so much more than that; so much more than all of this. It really is just a free day out for all three of them.

“Anyway, I have to go. I have a wife again.”

Jeff flicks up his eyebrows and keeps them there with widened eyes when Clive walks away. He can see a pair of tiny legs poking out from behind the tent so he knows Annie’s still where she left off to.

When he joins them, he slouches down onto the grass carefully so he doesn’t stain his suit, ignoring Annie’s stare to lounge in the sun for a brief moment. Milo’s holding a small box in his hand, picking out pieces of fruit and popping them into his mouth once he’s consumed each and every one individually. Milo offers him a raisin so Jeff takes it and makes a show out of throwing it into his mouth.

Annie laughs until her phone buzzes, the reader ID making her frown and stand up to excuse herself.

“Do you mind? I have to take this. I won’t be long.”

“Yeah sure, I’ll make sure he doesn’t run away.” She smiles tightly and walks towards a tree behind them, holding her phone up to her ear in one hand whilst holding her elbow up with the other. When he looks up her and down and back to Milo, he can see it, the appeal of having another person there, someone to look after and watch grow.

He knows Annie didn’t have the easiest of choices but he can see why most people do it. Not only is it satisfying to put a smile on _his_ face but it’s satisfying to be pleased by something so simple as an innocent mind wanting to share food and pretend like the chair Annie was sat on is the moon for a raisin box rocket ship to land on. So, he enjoys it. He sits back commitment free and soaks up whatever atmosphere the day is creating, replacing the fake one he’d filled himself with a sense off.

“No, no, I’m sure I paid it. I definitely did. I double check every time, I really do.” Annie puts a hand up to her forehead because she really doesn’t need this, not right now, “I really… okay, well… yeah I know, it should have gone through… I’ll do that, of course… it’s a Saturday anyway but… yeah, okay… I’m really… I was so sure… of course, I understand… okay, okay, great, yeah.” She pinches between the bridge of her nose and breathes for five seconds, opening her eyes to see Jeff looking right at her.

He’s half smiling like he does, all unsure but sure at the same time, happy but too proud to admit it, and she knows, she really knows then that she _needs_ it. She hasn’t just been thinking; in the back of her mind, she’s been actively wanting a feeling of relief that is solely focused on her. Sometimes it’s too much, everything is, and she needs an out from time to time, a place to escape to.

There wouldn’t be any learning involved either because he already understands her position and he knows her, to an extent. She needs it and she _wants_ it and she wants a slice of Jeff only she has; she wants a slice of _life_ that only she has. She doesn’t want anyone to rely on her or phone her up and tell her that she’s gone wrong somewhere. She just _wants._

“Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I just… the payment for his daycare didn’t go through for some reason and they’re chasing me for it because it’s a new month coming up.” He shrugs as she stands over him.

“Eh, they know you, it’ll be fine.”

She nods and slides away her phone, dropping to her knees so she can pull Milo in for a sideways hug.

“Do you want to go and get some cotton candy? Yeah?” He looks at her with two teeth hanging over the edge of his bottom lip before giggling and nodding.

“Okay, let’s go.”

Jeff picks him up at the stall so he can watch over the spinning barrel of hot sugar being swirled around onto a stick. Annie steps back to get her phone out so she can take a picture of him with the cloud of pink in front of his face but takes the time to send a text message whilst she’s at it.

They eat food and avoid group photos in agreement, with Jeff saying hello to a few people he tells her he used to work with, like Thompson, a man who donated a kidney to a temporary employee and receives an ‘aww’ from Annie due to the fact he’s the adoptive father of three teenagers. Milo falls asleep in Jeff’s car as soon as they hit the paved road, and she follows soon after whilst Jeff purposely avoids any radio station playing sappy love songs on their six o’clock show. Maybe one day they’ll sit well with him, but today’s not the day he’s about to try.

* * *

 

“Thanks again, it was nice, and you were right, it was a good day out for him and a good excuse for me to buy him an _adorable_ outfit.”

“He _did_ look pretty cute.” She smiles up to her eyes and it has him looking to his shoes, a piece of grass clinging to the toe.

“Um… yeah, Milo, go on in.” She pushes her front door in further but stays in place, so he does too. “Um, so, I messaged my babysitter Shirley earlier and she’s actually going to look after Milo tomorrow night, and I…” She goes to push back her cuticles but lands on looping her fingers through the bow of her dress, perhaps being subconsciously suggestive, “I wondered…” He’s listening, “if maybe... I, um, if you, do you…” She waves one of her hands in the air. “Could I come over?”

He wants to say yes straight away, blurt it out, speak out loud and in sync, with her, because _yes,_ he gets the message loud and clear, he was a fool for not being the one to do the same, but there’s a lump in his throat for that reason. He’s stood still with his hands in his pockets, dumbfounded.

“Yeah, um…” He has to swallow again because boy, maybe it’s been longer than he thinks, “…sure, yeah, of course. Totally.”

“Oh, okay. Cool… great.”

He wants to kiss her like he was sure she was going to this morning but maybe that’s what you get for not making the first full move.

“Yeah.”

“Great.”


	8. Proving Each Other Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Who said I care about you?”  
> “You didn’t but you seem to care about me wanting to feel selfish.”  
> He points a finger in the air before dipping it down to her clavicle.   
> “Ah, see that’s different. We’re both getting something out of this.”  
> “Oh yeah, like what?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Sunday, another chapter...

She shakes her head and blows away the hair in front of her face, tucking a few stray strands behind her ears before straightening herself up and smoothing down the skirt of her dress. All she has to do is tell him up front and be clear. It shouldn’t be stressful. That’s the exact reason she’s standing outside his door; to release the stress and to stop herself from focusing on all the minute details because he _understands._

If she wants to expand this part of her life, then someone who is understanding and non-judgemental is the answer to all her wishes.

She looks down at herself one last time before looking up to the damp ceiling because Jeff is probably on the other side of the door sat back on his couch with not a nerve in his system. He doesn’t have any concerns and fears weighing down on him, that she knows of, it’s just what he knows. It’s second nature. Britta _was_ right. Jeff would probably laugh at her for that.

And he probably would have knocked the door already.

Once she does, she steps back and taps the tips of her toes up and down against the floor, and just like that as the door opens, every inch of her skin feels like the striking strip of a matchbox just waiting to ignite.

The first thing she notices is that he has his mouth open ready to speak, so she stops him before he has a chance.

“I just need you to know something.” He waits for her to continue, his eyes searching hers, “I need this to be casual, which I never thought I’d say but… I like you, but it’s either me or it’s nothing. I can’t bring Milo into this, not that I think you’d want to anyway but… if you get what I’m saying?” She raises an eyebrow but there’s still a frown line between them both and he instantly wants to smooth it away.

“Casual, yeah, I can…” He nods because it’s pretty perfect, “…casual.”

“Out here it’s like a _G-_ rated movie.” She points the carpet she’s stood on, separated by the door and his sock covered toes crossing over the line.

“And… in… here?” He leans forward to try and pull her in but she’s one step ahead of him, reaching up on her toes to grab a hold of the fabric of his sweater around the neckline, tugging him closer. It doesn’t matter that she doesn’t answer him because the feeling of her lips against his and her hands against his chest pushing him backwards without any effort at all is enough for him to hear her loud and clear.

He moves his hand away from where it’s skimmed down to the curve of her hip so that he can push the door closed behind him before holding her even closer. He can tell she’s been thinking about this as much as he has by the way she uses her tongue and her teeth and her hands to make him shiver, but he’s not about to lose his control so he lets himself moan against her mouth before working his way down her jaw, her fingers sliding and threading themselves through his hair.  She lets a cross between a gasp and a sigh escape her, making him want to pull them out of her louder and faster.

He wants nothing more to take her to his bed and live out what he’s been waiting for but then the backs of his knees bump into the arm of his couch and he’s changing the course of direction, for now anyway. He has a t-shirt underneath the sweater he’s wearing so he doesn’t think it will interfere with teasing her until she’s begging for him to be barebacked and against her. When he tosses it into a puddle of blue fabric on the floor, she’s laying on the couch breathless and flushed and he can see her skin glistening where her dress leaves nothing to the imagination.

He crawls back over her and she instantly finds skin where his t-shirt is riding up and the way his whole body covers her and heats her up from head to toe is enough for her to scratch and dig into his skin, especially when his hand rides up her ribcage, pulling up her dress with it. She hasn’t felt so exposed in so long that she has to bite her lip and close her eyes to steady herself before bringing him back up to her mouth where he lets out a moan that has her hands on his belt loop within in an instant.

He grinds down against her where her legs are hiked up around his hips and where she’s attempting to free him. He’s about to move against her again but the idea of his bed is still nagging at the back of his mind so he manoeuvres himself backwards, kissing what he finds as he backs himself away; down her thighs and down to her ankles which she’s kicking up to drag him back down to what he can now see underneath the hem of her dress.

He moves back in, if only for a second so he can leave her with something she wants, teasing against the edge of her mouth, before he uses his strength and hauls her up into his arms. And yes, she could be reading this as romantic as he carries her towards his room, but all she can do is laugh breathlessly against his neck and bite down behind his ear with enough pressure that makes the rise and fall of his chest even deeper. 

She bounces down onto the mattress so that her hair splays out beneath her, Jeff covering her once again but with loosened jeans that just the sight of are causing her frustration, so she sits up with a hand to his chest and lets him work out what she wants by lifting her dress at the hem. He takes it into his own hands, pulling it over her head and laughing against her lips again when she’s finally free and only down to her underwear.

He goes to lick his way down to the edge of her bra but it’s so light and teasing and she needs more. She groans in frustration and he sits up on his knees, looking at her with a question on his face. She walks two fingers up the inside seam of his jeans, feeling him through the denim before latching a finger inside the waistband of his briefs.

“I want _you_.”

He seems to be waiting for more so she sits up even further before getting to work herself, stretching his t-shirt so he can finally take it off and reveal what she wants to feel so badly, well, other than what she knows is causing friction elsewhere. His belt makes a snapping sound as he finally lets it free, the buckle clunking against his floor as he stands back and tugs himself out of his pants.

When he goes back to work and gets her to the point where her toes are curling and her back is arching against him with every move, she goes to roll him over with her leg against the back of his calf.

“I thought you wanted to be selfish.” He has his mouth against her ear, letting out deep gasps in his throat.

“I am.”

“No, you’re not, you’ve got to let me take the reins.”

“What if being selfish to me, means taking advantage of you?”

“It doesn’t,” She moans into his hair, “work like that. Being selfish,” and again, “means not caring about the other person.”

She wants to argue and say that she cares about him but that would lead to exactly what she wants to avoid. She cares about him as a friend; she wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to him but she can’t go around protecting him from what might. He eases downwards then, peeling off what’s left on her body as she decides to let him be right.

* * *

 

All he can hear is their breathing and the general monotone sound of his apartment when he slumps back against his pillows and stares up at the ceiling, his hand thrown across his sweat-sheened chest as he waits for his heart rate to settle. He doesn’t want to look her way, not just yet, because she’s undoubtedly already relaxed and ready to go again, laying back all smug and youthful.

When he turns his head eventually, though, she looks equally as breathless and flushed and uncaring of her hair which is tousled and curled itself twice over. She’s not so much looking at him, more _watching_ him, her eyes drifting up and down and everywhere like she’s mentally mapping his body in her mind.

He normally wouldn’t want to know what someone is thinking in bed. He’d rather go without knowing what he did and didn’t do or how there probably won’t be a next time for him to improve upon but this time it isn’t for him.

“Was that selfish enough for you?”

She hums at first before looking at him properly and then turning her head to stare out towards the end of the bed.

“Yeah… yeah, it was.” She’s barely talking at full volume but she seems certain.

“Good, because… you know, if you ever feel like being selfish again. You know where I am. I’m always up for being selfish.”

“Isn’t that the opposite of selfish? You said it meant not caring about the other person.”

They’ve turned their heads so they’re facing each other on the pillows, a dazed smile on both of their faces.

“Who said I care about you?”

“You didn’t but you seem to care about me wanting to feel selfish.”

He points a finger in the air before dipping it down to her clavicle.

“Ah, see that’s different. We’re both getting something out of this.”

“Oh yeah, like what?” She’s teasing but he answers nonetheless, moving towards her to capture her lips between his before rising himself over he can cup his hands over her ribcage.

“You,” He kisses her again, deep and full and enough for her to sigh when he moves to her jaw to speak, “get to forget about being a mom for a while.” Her fingers are at his shoulder as he moves lower, “And _I_ get to forget about my kind of shitty job and everything going on in my head.” She can feel everything so much more vividly again as he carries on slowly working her up, mumbling into her ear.

_“I want to hear you again.”_

She wants to move him further but when her fingers go to his hair to direct him, her eyes widen in realisation.

“Were we loud?”

_“Someone was.”_

It’s not just her body telling her to stay as he moves against her; in the back of her mind she wants to be selfish all night but it’s not realistic to carry on for much longer.

“I should go.”

He stops then, scanning her face from where he’s resting between her thighs.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“No, no… I have to go because of Shirley next door, and I ca--.”

“She wouldn’t have heard.”

“No, I know but I really do. This is part of being casual, right? I can’t stay over because of her but it makes for the perfect arrangement. No staying over? I _have_ to leave? It’s what every guy wants, right?”

“Right.” He nods and presses a kiss to her thigh, lingering a little, before rolling to the side and lazily falling onto his back. She’s up and out of bed, clipping her bra on and pulling her dress over her head before combing her fingers through her hair to smooth it down. She pads over to him on the other side of the bed, holding his neck to steady herself as she leans down and finds his lips again.

“Thanks for, you know.” He only manages to respond with a soft, ‘Yeah’ before she’s slipping on her shoes in the living room and clicking his front door behind him.

He straightens out on the bed and looks at the ceiling with his arms spread out.

 _“Thanks.”_ He whispers to himself before clenching some of the fabric of his bedding between his fists. He wants to fall asleep where she left him, her perfume still embedded within the pillow she’d laid back on and the heat of her still warming his skin, but he ends up getting out of bed to check the door is locked and to pour himself a well-earned scotch. He showers too, jerking off because she kind of left him hanging at the end there and it doesn’t feel so shameful to imagine her doing it for him now that he knows what it feels like.

When his head finally does hit the pillow for its general intended purpose, he spends about twenty minutes tossing and turning between staying as still as he can so he can try and listen out for her next door without the fabric rustling around him. He can’t hear anything, though, just that same hum of the building, just clearer now, throbbing like a headache in his ears until it becomes so much of a lull that his eyes close.

* * *

She doesn’t mean to make it a habit or fall into a routine, but if Abed was shooting a movie he’d probably have the actors playing herself and Jeff falling into different positions of an unmade bed repeatedly for several minutes; some shots with them half-clothed with unbuttoned shirts and some shots with her resting against his chest with nothing but air and skin between them. Actually, when she comes to think of it, he’d probably tilt his head and stare at her blankly before declaring it’s a terrible idea only used in rom-coms fit for Kristen Bell and Ryan Reynolds, or a similar combination.

It feels so _good_ and not even in the hot, messy, fast-paced way, though (there are probably better words to describe that). And when she looks over at Milo she knows it’s disconnected and something she can only think about or hold on to. It’s refreshing to not have to worry for once, to just have a space and an opportunity where she can let go.

The morning after the first night, Jeff had come over just as she’d been stepping out the door, a coffee in hand and an almost shy expression on his face as he saw Milo standing next to her. She’d taken it, of course, just smiling and thanking him and getting on with her day but once she had, the smile on her face didn’t leave.

She called up Shirley two days later to see if she was free again. She still has to pay her of course but out of the goodness of her heart, Shirley is patient with her and allows her to pay in due time which Annie always does. She promises herself it won’t be any different even if it’s more frequently because she honours and respects Shirley as much as she does, her. She is free, so Annie dresses up a little more to create the illusion she’s leaving the building before knocking on the door and repeating everything from Sunday all over again.

He doesn’t back her up against it this time, though, he hikes her up onto his hips and blindly works his way through the apartment whilst biting on her lip and letting her unbutton his shirt so it’s ready to be pulled off once he’s ready.

The third time is slower because he’s pouring himself a drink when she knocks and he ends up offering her one too before moving over to the couch and staying there until neither of them can feel their legs. She really does worry that next door Shirley has worked it all out already but when the fourth night comes around, she doesn’t seem suspicious, she just seems concerned that she’s overworking herself because Annie’s excuse is dinners with work and late night functions which for some reason involve high heels and lipstick that leaves Jeff’s skin stained and seemingly swollen. 

She came over earlier so when they’re worn out, or at least for now anyway, she still has an hour to kill before Shirley is due home. She can see there’s an empty bottle of water on Jeff’s night stand as she looks past him where he’s leaning up against the headboard, the sheets tucked up between his legs but barely covering the rest of him.

“Could I have some water?”

He looks at her blankly before flicking up his chin towards the bathroom door.

“Yeah, it’s in the tap.”

He waits until her amused expression falters into one of serious belief, her hand going to the sheets before he laughs and gets out of the bed himself. She lets out a sigh and sits comfortably again as he finds his briefs on the floor and tucks himself into them as he walks on through to the kitchen. It’s not as if there’s anything new to see or hide so perhaps it’s more about being out in the open when there’s a pause in proceedings.

She can hear him open and close his fridge door so she sits tight and looks down at herself, twiddling her thumbs. Her eyes trail further until she reaches a spot at the top of her thigh, unconcealed from bedding or her wrists crossing in her lap. She tugs the comforter over her before Jeff returns, a hand tucked behind his back with the other one occupied with water.

He makes a show of popping the cap open with his front teeth before gulping down a couple of mouthfuls, using his cheek to close it back up again before holding it out with a grin.

“Can I have the one behind your back, please?”

“Ugh.” He groans mockingly before chucking both bottles on the bed with a spin to each throw.

Annie leans forward but holds the sheets tight, having to copy his technique with opening it with her teeth. He lays back down next to her and takes another swig of his water, glancing out of his right eye to see how she’s sat back, stiff and straight.

“Why are you being so modest?”

“I’m not…” She lowers her drink so it seems more like the bottle is holding up the blanket rather than her.

“Are you sure about that?” He’s asking her with a smug smirk, waving his bottle in the air, acting like he knows all about her.

“I’m just… cold.”

“Cold? If anything, it’s too hot in here.”

“…well, then, maybe… I’m just not as comfortable with showing off my body every second of the day.” She lifts the bottle up to her mouth and sips what must be a few drops, giving her a reason not to say anything more.

“Are you suggesting that _I do?_ ”

She laughs at him like it’s a joke, her eyes wide and skimming over him from head to foot.

“Oh well, that’s where you’re wrong.” He points a finger at her and raises his eyebrows, “I’m _definitely_ not comfortable all the time. How come, anyway?” He pushes it back onto her because as much as he’s happy with asking such a question, the bedroom and pillow talk don’t mix with deeper conversations.

“Isn’t the answer kind of obvious? I had a baby at twenty-two.”

“ _And?_ ”

“ _And…_ I have stretch marks… and…” She whispers and mumbles the rest of her sentence, taking more water, “… _my boobs suffered because of my attempt at breastfeeding…_ the glamorous truths of being a mom!” She’s being self-depreciative, trying not to let it affect her but failing to hide it.

“ _And?”_

“ _And_ I don’t like those things sometimes.”

“And I don’t like the fact I’m starting to go grey and I find it harder and harder to push myself to work out each day. You look great, what’s the problem?”

“I don’t know. I guess we’re both the same. Maybe we’ll both just have to prove each other wrong.”

“Cheers to that.” He tilts out his bottle for her to tap caps with and it’s silly and kind of dorky because they’re only drinking water but it still feels like a promise of sorts, maybe just to remind each other, even if it’s insignificant.

He watches her with her bottle up to her lips, almost like she’s kissing it for good luck before clinking it against his with a plastic-y rattle.

“To proving each other wrong.” Once she’s finished smiling and drinking he glances to his phone on the side and pouts in contemplation.

“You got time?”

He takes her launching across the bed to straddle him as a yes.

* * *

 

He hasn’t been ignoring Britta as she likes to call it, it just so happens that every time she tries to arrange to see him outside of Greendale he’s either busy doing _more_ Greendale related work, isn’t feeling up to it and/or would rather spend the time she would take from him with someone who cuts right to the chase and hasn’t started to tire from loud and mind-blowing sex. Not that Britta would have ever called it that seeing as she seemed to have an unbreakable habit of telling anyone in her path how mind- _boggling bad_ it was even though, she always came back for more.

He hasn’t been cancelling or putting her down for long anyway, things with Annie have only been going on for around three weeks (not that he’s counting) and he does see her _every day_ at least once, giving her enough time to moan about her cat’s vet bills or the eighth male student who has come to her about how he relies too much on porn, or whatever the hell he zones out to her blabbering on about.

It’s not that she’s entirely boring or completely unbearable because yes, sometimes he can engage and entertain himself with her world views but now he lives next door to someone who doesn’t _always_ have something to challenge him with and who has never said a bad word about what happens in his bedroom.

Oh, and it’s _his_ bedroom. There’s no sneaking out at 4 AM or making up an excuse when he knocks himself straight out from all the drinks he had beforehand, it’s just easy and simple and she’s home safe and sound within a matter of minutes.

It must be fairly early on their eighth or ninth night together when she slips on her pumps and walks around the edge of the bed to kiss him.

“Goodnight.” He mumbles the same against her lips and hums against her before matching her grin as she pulls away. He watches her leave with her jacket folded over her arm, dopily smiling at the door even after it’s closed. His phone buzzes then and he thinks maybe it will be a text message saying thank you or an extra goodnight but it’s Britta again and for once after many attempts, he doesn’t really have a reason to say no other than the fact he’s in that perfect post-sex lull and meeting up would mean getting dressed and driving.

It’s only nine o’clock though and if he stays in he knows he’ll only end up thinking about how Annie’s no longer in his bed. When she sends a second message saying she’ll pay for his drinks so long as he only drinks beer, he replies with a thumbs up and swings himself out of bed.

When he pushes through the bar door he hopes he’s freshened up enough and had enough time between saying goodnight to Annie and driving so that Britta doesn’t recognise the underlying smugness in his face which he knows he can never get rid of after feeling everything all at one time.

“Oh, hey look, you showed up.”

“What do you think the thumbs up emoji meant?”

“Thumbs up emoji? I got an alien in a rectangular box.”

“Get a new phone, dummy.” He hunches forward once he finds himself a stool in front of her before gesturing towards the mini fridge behind her. “Get me a beer too seeing as you promised it would be on you.”

She rolls her eyes and hooks the drying rag she’s holding in the back of her jeans before picking out a bottle and slamming the edge of the cap down on the bar’s countertop.

“You can drink from the bottle, saves me from more work.”

He shrugs and takes it from her, taking a swig before sighing and resting it back down in front of him.

“I know what you’re doing by the way. I know what ‘I’m busy’ means because you used it when we were hooking up.”

He tilts his head and pops his chest a little, reaching for his bottle before answering her.

“What?”

“You’re hooking up with that girl, you know, uh…” She shakes her hands in the air and he has to try and conceal a laugh as she flaps around a cloth all the while. She _knows_ but it doesn’t mean he wants her to work it all out so he takes another sip of beer and smiles at another customer at the opposite end of the bar. “…she had like the brown wavy hair because you have a thing for every hair colour under the sun, I don’t know, ooh! Um, she has a kid!”

When she properly focuses on him she can see him biting his lips behind the ring of his beer bottle so she stops and slaps the rag in her hand as far as it will reach towards him.

“You know who I’m talking about, jackass.”

“Okay, yeah, fine, I’m hooking up with her but it’s no big deal.”

“Well, you obviously didn’t want me to know about it.”

“ _Do_ you want to know about it? It’s not like I go around wanting to know about the last person you slept with.”

“Pssshh, that’s not true, you love the ego boost of deciding that someone is less attractive than you.”

He quirks his eyebrow and pouts to one side in agreement.

“This is true.”

“Ugh, you’re such a dick . “

“You said it not me.”

“You _agreed._ ” She rolls her eyes before ignoring him momentarily to pour a shot into a glass for someone waiting to his right. She smiles and does her part before letting her expression slip away when she greets him again.

“What are you doing with her anyway, spending so much time with her that you can no longer come and get drunk with me or babysit my cats?”

“I’m pretty sure it’s just called cat sitting Britta.”

“Huh!” She gasps and stabs a finger towards him in the air, her voice shrieking to a new level, “Don’t disrespect them! They are _my_ babies and you would _know_ how that feels if you opened your heart to a warm and fuzzy lovable creature instead of curling into a ball and closing yourself up like a cold and heartless armadillo.”

“ _Jesus,_ has one of your cats got rabies or something? What’s got you so worked up?”

“I don’t know! I just… we have to stay updated in our lives in some way otherwise, I’m going to be worrying that you’re spiralling into a deep depression because Greendale is so shitty you can no longer handle it. I mean, seriously, who else have we got? You’re not gonna’ start relying on a fling with a twenty-five-year-old single mom are you?”

He laughs and sighs and picks at his beer bottle because she’s probably right. As much as she might have known the root cause of his excuses, he probably shouldn’t leave one of the only constant relationships in his life by the wayside.

“I’m only relying on her for one thing but I know you don’t want to know about that so… okay, I’ll keep you updated. You don’t need to worry about me, though, I’m fine. What about you; are _you_ okay? Are _you_ seeing anyone?” He smirks and taps on his now empty beer bottle, sliding it forward so she’ll understand he wants another.

“You know me, I don’t always need a _man_ to satisfy my needs.”

“Oh?” She turns back around from grabbing him another beer, pausing to glare at him.

“Not like that, idiot… and who cares if it was?”

He shrugs and smirks and starts drinking his second beer.

“No one. It’s hot.”

“Speaking of hot, the sex better be good or she’s keeping me from a customer who usually pays for the good scotch.”

“Oh, it _is._ ”

“Again, I didn’t need you to agree I just want you to pay up.”

“Oh no, you said free beer so I’m taking my free beer.”

“Ugh… I’ll let you off cat sitting duties for like, the next month.”

“I wouldn’t say yes anyway, so…”

She throws the rag at him but it lands on his shoulder rather than hits his face.

“I hate you.”

“Straight from the mouth of the woman who was worried about me. Somehow, I don’t believe it.”

* * *

 

“How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Make him laugh so much?”

Annie shrugs and looks over her shoulder towards Jeff before picking up the coffee cup that is resting on the bench between them and taking a sip. Milo’s skipping off giggling, grinning from ear to ear after involving himself within a knock-knock joke which didn’t really have much of a punchline.

“Uh…” He frowns at her and she takes another sip, her eyebrow raised haughtily. She puts it down and crosses her legs afterwards so she’s sat guarded against him.

“That’s for not getting me one this morning.”

“Uh, I didn’t even know I was going to see you this morning.”

She turns and stares at him blankly before smiling at him and looking away.

“So, you were just _casually_ taking a walk through the family park?”

“No, I came to get a coffee because I’m not working out today and so I thought I’d try out some place new.”

“Don’t you usually just go to Starbucks though? Or, you know, use the ridiculously overpriced machine in your apartment?”

“And this is where your interrogation fails,” He grabs the paper bag sat beside him and unrolls the scrunched-up opening, pulling out a smaller silver toned bag with a printed label on the front, “because that’s _another_ reason why I was trying out someplace new. I’ve heard that their coffee beans are good and I was running out. It just so happens that when I came out of the store, I looked over and I saw you.”

“Hmm, so you weren’t just looking for an excuse to see what I’m doing tonight?”

“If that was the case, I could have just messaged you.”

“Mhmm…”

He takes the cup to drink for himself but puts it back in the middle afterwards anyway; it’s large cup and he’s open to sharing.

“What _are_ you doing tonight, anyway?”

She yawns with a hand to her mouth, pinching the bridge of her nose at the same time, holding it there as she talks.

“Nothing, actually, but I don’t have a babysitter and I’ve had a headache for what seems like two full days so I kind of just need the night off.”

“Hmm, I heard there’s this thing called an orgasm which is _great_ for releasing tension and--.”

She nudges him in the elbow, eyes closed and still holding her head. He realises she’s probably not joking when she yawns again.

“I think I’m just going to watch a movie and go to bed early.”

“I’m great movie watching company, I can give foot rubs, shoulder massages… _other_ kinds of massages.” He looks at her pointedly but grins once she realises he’s jesting with her. She bobs her head, though, contemplatively.

“That actually does sound good but, you’re only doing it in an attempt of having sex, right?”

“Oh yeah, totally.”

He nods vigorously and watches for her reaction.

“I’m _definitely_ not having sex tonight but it would be nice to see you try.”

“So, I’ll see you later?”

She nods and rubs her forehead again, pulling a face at Milo who’s waving at her.

“Awesome.” He leans towards her but then her hand goes up to wave back at Milo too and he grits his teeth to hold back a kiss. He rubs a hand down his thigh instead.

“I’ll take the coffee, it’s probably a little strong with a headache.”

“Yeah… bye.”

“Bye.” He stands and walks off but calls out to Milo on the way. “Bye,  Milo!”

He’s balancing on the top of a chopped down tree trunk, so he steadies himself before placing his feet back on the ground to run over, almost tripping at one point but pulling himself back upright just in time. When he reaches Jeff, he lifts his fist to the air so that he can return the gesture.

“Byeee… I’ll go see Mommy now.”


	9. Almost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What’s this for?” She mumbles, her eyes set on a stain in the carpet behind him.  
> “I think you needed it.”  
> She almost cries into his sleeve; almost.

Abed immediately sits back down beside Troy once he’s unlocked their door and let her in; they’re in the middle of playing a new video game and apparently can’t stop until they’ve reached a new level which is proving difficult. The game they’re playing is unnecessarily gory so it’s lucky Milo fell asleep in the car after she’d picked him up from daycare, even if it had meant precariously manoeuvring him up the stairs. She’d been let out of work a bit earlier so she decided to pay Troy and Abed a visit seeing as she hasn’t seen them in a while and they’re always fascinated in seeing what new tricks Milo has up his sleeves.

She takes a minute to just sit and do nothing on the couch, sinking into the worn-down cushions and the lingering aroma of made up recipes that have drifted through from the kitchen and infused into the fabrics and furniture. She likes their apartment because it feels like another sliver of home; somewhere she can be perfectly comfortable in yet makes her feel content upon leaving because she knows it will feel even better when she returns.

She ends up hugging a pillow and watching the screen with glazed eyes, just whiling away in the comfortable familiarity. A minute becomes five and then ten, though, and with her hands usually incapable of _only_ picking at threads and scrunching up the padding inside the pillow case, she finds her phone and starts sliding through her recent photos. They’re all of Milo of course; one of him with a huge grin on his face for eating a full meal and another of him holding out a piece of craft paper covered in messy fingerprints of paint that he brought back from daycare.

There’s also one of Jeff in there too, from a couple of nights ago, when he’d got out his phone as she’d been in the bathroom and pretended like he hadn’t been taking a photo when she’d returned. She argued it was only fair she could save one of him. He hadn’t agreed and his expression says it all.

The picture reminds her of the red notification on her messages; a text which had pinged up on her phone when she’d been unable to reply at work this morning.

JEFF: There was nobody at the park today

ANNIE: It’s a weekday and it rained last night?

He replies immediately as she’s laughing to herself whilst imagining him running around a deserted park, his headphones in whilst listening to a song on repeat, most probably one by Dave Matthews who she’s come to learn he loves. It’s not even a particularly funny image, it’s just that he always seems to be around lately so everything he does away from her seems somewhat more intriguing and mysterious than it is.

JEFF: Or all the kids get bored without Milo

JEFF: & the dads get bored without his hot mom

ANNIE: Gross

JEFF: C u tonight?

ANNIE: No Shirley = no sex :P

JEFF: Over the clothes like horny teenagers?

ANNIE: You’re that desperate?

JEFF: I’ll bring wine

ANNIE: Maybe, I’m with friends right now. I’ll text you when I’m home.

JEFF: I’ll hear you when you’re home

ANNIE: Again, gross

When she locks her phone, Milo is stirring in the stroller in front of her with one eye open and the other stuck in a gooey half-blink so she leans forward and wipes it with her thumb, smoothing over his knee with a smile.

“Abed, Troy, do you mind turning that off now? He’s waking up and… it’s pretty violent.”

Troy turns to look at her with a grin of pleading but she shakes her head and he succumbs immediately.

“Annie, you’re like a motherly character to everyone including Milo. You discipline us more than we can discipline ourselves.”

“Well Abed, seeing as Milo knows you as an uncle more than he knows my _real_ brother it’s nice that you respect what I want for him.” She’s undoing Milo’s straps as Troy and Abed turn to watch her.

“No, she’s right. Even I find some of that stuff scary, I mean, there are _literal_ zombies tearing people’s heads off and eating out thei--.”

“Troy?”

He immediately opens his arms and drops to his knees when Annie glares at him again. Milo rubs his eyes as he balances himself on his feet before stepping forward.

“Milo!”

Abed stays seated once he’s turned off the game and as Troy pulls Milo in for a hug, his cheek and chin tucking over Troy’s shoulder as he holds what he can of his arms.

“Troy!”

“Oh, I missed you _so_ much!”

Annie grins and Abed meets it with his own as he waits for Milo to break away and find him. When he does, he settles for resting his cheek against Abed’s knees where he’s sat too high to hug him before turning his attention back to Annie who is unlocking the stroller wheels to park it out of the way.

“Mommy, can I have a snack please?”

“I’ll just split a bag of chips into a little bowl because we’re going to have dinner when we get home and I don’t want you filling up on snacks.”

He nods before marching away from Abed and Troy without a word, following Annie to the kitchen which she knows off by heart. She tugs apart a packet of chips and empties half of it into a Spiderman themed plastic bowl she finds and rolls the packet back up to save the rest before unwrapping the straw on the carton of juice she finds in the fridge.

Milo’s rubbing his eyes and standing in her space so much that she can barely move, so she drops her voice to a whisper so he knows she’s only talking to him. He likes it when she does that, especially when he’s tiring because as it nears his bedtime, he likes to be prepared for it. It’s a time for only her and him; no distractions, no toys or cartoons. Just her, soothing voices and a story to wind him down.

_“Jeff said there was no one at the park today.”_

“The park?”

_“Yeah, I think it was because it rained.”_

“JEFF!”

She’s about to pass him the juice carton but holds back when he lets out an almighty shriek, running out of the kitchen to fling himself between Troy and Abed who are now sat on the couch.

“Woah Milo… no shouting.” She shakes her head but takes the juice and chips with her, trying her best not to overreact because it’s probably best he releases the final remanence of his energy before eating and going to sleep.

“Is that like a new word he’s learned?” Troy asks whilst holding Milo steady so he can finally take hold of the carton and dunk his hands down into the stack of curled chips.

“No, it sounded more like a name. Jeff? Who’s Jeff?”

Annie flicks her eyes between them both blankly as she takes a seat opposite them before realising what they’re talking about. She bobs her head and sighs.

“Uh, he’s just my neighbour. He lives next door. We’ve hung out a few times.”

“You’ve never mentioned him before. You mentioned another neighbour, though, the elderly woman.” Abed points out.

“Oh yeah, I know. I thought you’d find her character interesting, I mean, you’re always looking for new ideas and people to take from, right? She’s like a sweet old grandmotherly character.”

“Jeff’s not interesting?”

“He sounds like an action figure, like… like, Action Man.” Troy squints and nods with certainty which makes Annie frown in confusion. “Right, Milo?” He’s not concentrating on anything but his food so he stays silent.

“I wouldn’t say he’s not interesting I just, didn’t bother mentioning him. He’s a teacher.”

Abed shakes his head like he’s waving off a thought which makes Annie do the same.

“Does Milo like Jeff?” Troy asks, tapping Milo’s knee to gain his attention. Annie pouts and waits patiently because it’s not like she’s ever asked herself.

“Yep. And Troy, and Abed, and Mommy, and Becca and Julie and Thomas.”

“Who,” Troy swallows and clenches a fist, “who are Becca and Julie and Thomas? Who are all these people you’re meeting!”

“Becca and Julie are carers at his daycare and Thomas is one of the other boys.” Milo nods and meets her smile, waving a chip in the air to share with her. She winks when she takes it and he goes back to eating in silence.

“No, it’s good you’re reaching out if you are. We should all start meeting new people.”

“Aw, that’s really good Abed, I’m glad to hear it.” Annie lifts her shoulders and Abed nods happily, content with the conversation even with intrigue lingering in his mind.

“So, how’s everything going with your filmmaking? Have you had any new projects recently?”

“Two commercials for local dog training but mostly it’s people wanting voice actors for radio jobs. Troy and I have limited vocal range and we can’t afford anyone to do accents so we’re limited right now.”

“I’m sure it will work out, I’m really proud of both of you. You’re working really hard.”

It’s true; ever since they graduated, they’ve been working non-stop. Abed started supporting himself by working at his dad’s falafel shop and Troy found work at a video game store but sure enough, it wasn’t long before what they were doing outside of work actually picked up speed; making short films and directing commercials for small independent businesses around the Greendale area.

When she hears they’ve been proposed with a new brief, she does feel envious in one way. Not that she’d ever taken on a creative career path like theirs but everything has seemingly gone to plan for them. It’s only up. Hard work has paid off of course and they deserve every part of it but she can’t help but think she might have deserved something more back then too; more than a relationship-ending, disappearing-act pregnancy.

“Mommy, I’m finished. Can we play?”

Milo lifts her from her thoughts, leaning forward with the bowl which is free of chips but filled with a scrunched-up juice carton.

“Of course, but we won’t be long okay? I don’t want you going to bed late.”

“YAY!” She has to laugh when he steps down and starts ordering Troy and Abed around. It leaves her time to wash the bowl up and step away for a few minutes, clearing her mind, because sure, she _is_ envious. But she’s also envious of Denise at work who’s just got engaged and has a Porsche driving fiancé (not that cars really matter to Annie), and Patricia who’s the head of one of the lab departments because she’s soon to be promoted to even higher up the ranks. She’s envious in small amounts of these people who have different things she doesn’t have _yet,_ and that’s something she needs to remind herself of.

Having Milo has and _never_ will stop her, it’s just led her down a path she hadn’t planned on visiting, and it’s still taking her time to adjust.

“I want _that_ pillow!”

“It doesn’t fit there.” Abed’s on his knees where they’ve made space in the middle of the living room to make a fort that crosses between the couch and the wall. Milo’s determined to fit a pillow in a space meant for something firmer, a frown on his face and his fingers pointed out as he tries to comprehend how something he’s suggested isn’t going to work.

“It will.”

“It doesn’t fit there.”

“It does.”

“It needs to be bigger.”

“No, it’s small.” Abed tilts his head and looks over at Troy who has a blanket draped over his head. He shuffles forward and drops to Milo’s height.

“Milo I think we need a bigger pillow, or maybe a cushion from the couch? Use your big strong muscles to get one.”

“No, this one.” He points to the pillow between his feet and stares at Abed and Troy with wide eyes. Abed pulls back uncomfortably and puts a hand in the air.

“Annie, Milo’s going to ruin our fort.”

“Hmm yeah, he’s an evil architect.” Troy adds, now all three of them looking back at her.

“Milo, should Mommy help you build the fort?”

He nods and smiles and holds out a hand for her to hold onto when she reaches him.

“Okay so, we can put that little pillow of yours on the floor for somebody’s seat and then we can put the couch cushion that Troy was talking about where you originally wanted it to go, that way it won’t all fall down, okay? _And,_ we can name it Milo’s Fort after your _brilliant_ pillow choosing.”

He grins at that, his mouth wide open in glee.

“Yeah, you’re a way better parent than us.”

“Well, I am his mom Troy.”

“It’s my castle and Troy is the king.”

Annie leans over her shoulder as Milo proudly retitles the fort as a castle.

“Does that make you feel any better?”

“Yeah.” Troy nods and smiles before clenching a fist up to his face like he’s going to cry. He still has the blanket over his head so it makes the whole thing even more amusing.

Abed takes back the reins when Milo’s more comfortable with structural changes and it ends up being half decent although it’s lacking in height and length. Troy and Abed’s feet are sticking out at the end where the opening is as they lie down beside Annie. Milo can comfortably sit up but he joins them too, kicking his feet up in the air where there’s still room for him to move.

“Milo, you’re going to have the best upbringing because I _never_ got to make forts when I was little.”

Annie rubs her hand down Troy’s arm before leaning her cheek on his shoulder.

“You think?” She was soothing him but his statement ended up meaning more.

“Yeah, your little dude is awesome. Right, Abed?”

“Yeah, he has the intellect I didn’t realise you could find in a small child. He also has an artistic vision when it comes to architectural design. He went for style over practicality. He’s a good kid.”

“You guys…” Annie pouts and grips onto Troy a little harder, holding back a tear of happiness.

“Do you want to stay for buttered noodles?” Abed asks. She takes a moment to mull it over. It will mean she can put Milo into bed almost as soon as she gets home and it will leave her the hassle of having to wash dishes. She can go home, relax, and if Jeff so happens to drop by with a bottle of wine, she can accept it if she wants to. She can’t think of anyone else having such a perfect mid-week evening, even if other alternatives mean driving around in a flashy sports car and working on something more exciting and monetarily beneficial.

* * *

 

Jeff either has supersonic hearing or he’s worked out a rough amount of time to wait for her to settle Milo because as soon as she closes Milo’s door, he knocks at the front one.

“Wine?” He tilts his head and holds out the bottle as she pulls back the door and allows him to enter.

“Wine, but nothing else.”

“Oh, so we’re just going to sit here in silence?” He places the bottle on the kitchen counter as she locks the door behind them, padding around to join him shortly after.

“Almost silence, you have to keep your voice down.”

 _“Oh, sorry… wait, sexy. You like it when I talk like this.”_ He whispers deeply, rounding the counter to talk closer to her ear. She’s opening a drawer so she raises a corkscrew up between her and his face.

“Do you need this?”

“Yeah, thanks.” He plucks it from her hand and starts to work on the cork, holding the bottle between his thighs.

“So… what do you want to do? I’m better at watching TV, I always tend to fall asleep during movies, or you know, just get distracted.”

He tugs on the cork with a grunt, placing the corkscrew back down on the counter before inspecting the label on the bottle, taking a whiff before turning to find some suitable glasses.

“Distracted is good.”

“I know what you’re thinking so stop.”

He has is back to her pouring the wine but she can still see him tilt his head. She knows he’s smirking.

“I’m just saying, isn’t that part of being casual. We’re _supposed_ to do that kind of thing when we’re around each other.”

“I wouldn’t know because I’ve never done this before. But isn’t it kind of in the name? We’re technically… friends with benefits, right? Even though I really hate that label, we can still hang out. Plus, you’re the one who suggested it. Can we just relax? And no, don’t make that _sexual_ too.”

He shrugs as he walks towards her, glasses in hand. “It’s the best way _of_ relaxing.”

“You obviously haven’t relaxed like I have then.”

He frowns as he takes her glass, stopping in his tracks to watch her turn around with a flip of her hair. When he follows her towards the couch, she looks up at him and reads his expression.

“I’m just saying, there are alternatives. You don’t need to worry, it’s not like I’m saying no because I genuinely don’t want to. If there wasn’t a two-year-old drifting in and out of deep sleep behind that wall, you’d be shirtless by now already.”

He wiggles his eyebrows and steps a little closer.

“What are you going to do when you find Mr Perfect, though? You’re still going to want to have a good sex life and have a kid in the same house.”

“That would be different… he’ll understand.”

“He’ll understand what?”

“I don’t know! He’ll understand that his mom and dad are in love and its part of having a happy and healthy relationship?”

“Are you saying sex with me isn’t happy and healthy?”

“No, I’m saying… _sex_ and _intimacy_ with you aren't something Milo should ever know about and this is a _really_ weird conversation to be having right now.”

“Yeah, it is because I was about to make-out with you.”

He finds her lips before she has time to even squeak, her hand going to his neck instinctively even though she’s still holding her glass of wine. He has the speed and determination that drives her crazy so when he works his way down her neck to the spot where he can feel her pulse, she pulls away.

“What did you wanna’ watch?”

“Ugh yeah, I don’t know, what’s good?” He squints because she’s stepped away and she can’t see his face, all the pent-up tension waiting to be released.

Even though her earlier comment about movies is still true, they end up watching a comedy to keep themselves engaged in something else but each other. It’s hard to be completely inseparable though and it’s hard to resist temptation, so Annie’s feet end up in Jeff’s lap and his hand ends up stroking up the inside of her leg, never getting far enough to touch sensitive skin because surprisingly, he has control.

One scene in the movie has her clenching her toes because the couple on screen are doing exactly what they want to be doing to each other. She bites her lip and watches Jeff, knowing that ever since the night she knocked his door, there’d been no going back. He must sense her gaze because he walks his eyes up her body before sliding her feet underneath him as he sits up and hovers over her.

“Just admit you’re as desperate as I am.”

She has a smile in her eyes as she runs her hands up his shoulders, the sweater covering them itching to be taken off, and shakes her head so minutely it’s barely noticeable. When she talks, it’s barely noticeable either.

 _“I hate you._ ”

* * *

 

It starts off as a bad day. Not a tiring, unexciting day, but a genuinely bad one with every corner coming with a reason for stress and a reason for Annie to close her eyes and count to ten in an attempt to control her breathing.

Firstly, Milo wakes up and decides he isn’t feeling well but doesn’t specify in what way. Usually she’d be fine with his vague definitions because being young doesn’t leave much room for understanding how your body works and what it means to feel an ache or a pain somewhere, but this time he doesn’t explain in any further detail than “I don’t feel good” and starts crying when she asks him for more. She presumes at first he has a headache because he’s rubbing the top of his head but then his other hand migrates to his stomach and it feels as if he’s playing a trick on her.

She wouldn’t usually make him go to daycare but she can’t have a day off because today of all days is a day for meetings at work and she would be really pushing it if she carried on using motherhood as an excuse. She’s settled in now and she can’t slip behind because her position isn’t essential and she’d be easily replaceable for all she knows. So, she gives him some Tylenol in hopes it will calm whatever ailment he believes he has and tries to maintain a happy and motivational attitude all the way until she arrives.

But then there’s traffic which means arriving happens half an hour late due to some road maintenance which she hadn’t been prepared for. It’s a roadblock of tooting horns and cars which are able to find diversions turning around, long enough that Milo’s nursery rhyme CD she’s playing for him quietly in the background starts repeating songs all over again. She has to massage across her forehead and rub the bridge of her nose where she can feel a headache brewing already before texting Mandy who’s a fellow assistant in the same department at the lab that she’s going to be late.

Luckily, she’s not the only parent late due to the delays so it’s not too awkward or frustrating dealing with the daycare workers, although Milo himself is still a whole separate issue. He clings onto her in the reception area whilst other moms and dads and guardians swiftly say their farewells and get on with their days.

She tries to be firm and straight with him whilst also regarding his feelings but he ends up physically restraining her leg and holding it to the spot so she does what she least wants to do; she lets one of the carers help her by distracting him with toys and a look at what activities they have planned. She backs away whilst he’s distracted, blowing a kiss from the corner of the room for her own peace of mind but it obviously goes ineffective because as soon as she pushes the daycare doors open to leave, she hears him start to whimper.

She knows he’s in safe hands but as a mother it’s one of the most soul-crushing things to do, leaving your child upset and waiting upon your return which won’t happen for several long and painful hours later.

Painful is an accurate description because the headache working its way through her mind starts throbbing when she reaches work and the last thing she wants to deal with is the fact Mandy forgot to inform anyone else that she’d be late, as if it was just a personal notification to let her know she won’t be there in the coffee room on time.

The first meeting of the day starts a minute after she signs in at the front desk leaving her no time to check in on any paperwork that needs sorting or see what’s already been done, it’s just straight into taking notes and keeping on form of all the changes. When most of her job currently involves filing and administrative tasks, she has to be all ears at all times even when what is being discussed isn’t directly related because it can be, at any moment.

When the meeting is done the head of the department pulls her to the side and she prays silently and smiles widely until sighing with relief that all she wants is a cup of coffee. As much as she’d love to be doing more for her, today doesn’t seem like the optimal time to attempt persevering with anything new. She reminds herself that keeping on top of things is all part of getting ahead further down the line and that Milo who is constantly in the back of her mind, is at daycare for a reason.

She has a cup in place underneath the machine’s nozzle but almost simultaneously with her thumb hitting the power button, a lab worker leaving the room who she doesn’t know the name of steps back on his heel, looks over his shoulder and winks, holding a hand to the wall.

“The machine’s not working. There’s the shop down the street, though.”

She almost laughs at him. Almost.

Once she’s back from coffee delivering and has completed paper sorting and test collecting she’s reached the stage where every word that slips out of her mouth has hardly any air in it meaning it comes out as more of a high-pitched gasp leaving her to nod or shrug or shake her head just in case she hasn’t been clear enough.

Her latest task is to go up to the printing room on the second floor and copy two sets of results that need comparing. She’s given advanced warning for the first time all day that the main printer is in use so going upstairs will be more efficient. Hopefully, it will give her a breather too, seeing as the space is only four rooms, one of which is dedicated to printing; the other three are fully equipped laboratories which are peaceful compared to the office below even though what goes on within them is anything but pleasant for most of the time.

Nobody else is following her or already inside so she clicks the door behind her and rests her back up against it whilst still holding the handle firmly shut, breathing and steadying herself. She counts in and out and then slowly brings herself back to reality, mind set on the printer in front of her.

She does laugh then. She laughs so hard she has to hold her hand to her mouth because she hasn’t even stood towards the printer and her phone is already stopping her, vibrating against ribcage where it’s stuffed inside her blazer pocket. It must be motherly instinct because of _course_ it’s about Milo and of _course_ he has to come home because he’s sick and of _course_ the printer works smoothly and the office seems to have quietened when she works her way downstairs.

Somehow her patience is stronger when she finds the desk the copies belong to is home to her boss on the phone. She holds up a finger when she notices Annie, turning in her chair slightly to signal she’s still not quite ready to end the call. Annie stands and rocks on her heels, staring out through the window ahead.

It’s a standard view for where the lab is positioned; opposite some other fairly recently built offices, some on-street parking spaces and some neatly aligned trees but there’s something about standing and watching which is rather self-assuring. When the printer _does_ do its job for her and the coffee machine is in full working order, she loves the speed and face paced buzz of the building and the sense that it could lead somewhere. A few years ago, it felt near impossible that she’d ever work again. She has to let herself off, for future _and_ past-Annie.

“Thank you, I’ll take those from you now. Was there anything else?”

“I know I was late this morning and I _totally_ and fully understand that this could be unacceptable but I just got a call from my son’s daycare and he’s come down really sick and I have nobody else to--.”

“We’ll see you tomorrow.”

Annie nods due to surprise this time, stepping back and thanking her a few times over as she backs away.

* * *

 

Usually, when he locks up his office and steps into the hallway he classes his day as done but he can barely step into it at all this time because he’s being accosted and almost trampled on by the Dean and Britta.

“Jeffrey!”

“Craig.” He turns purposefully to look at Britta, to make a point of the fact she’s there too and can’t worm her way out of whatever they’ve found him for, “Britta. What do you want from me?”

“Now Jeffrey, who says we want anything from you?” Craig throws his hand up in the air but Britta’s eye roll doesn’t go unseen.

“Just cut to the chase.”

“We… well, okay, we do _want_ something from you but we’re more than happy to give you some--.”

“We need to know if you’ll chaperone the Halloween dance because Frankie’s making these ridiculously in advance requests and she thinks it’s better to ask people beforehand so…” Britta rolls her hands in the air, leaving the Dean to tilt his head and accept her interruption.

“You said you’d be more than happy to give me something in return, right? So, what do I get?”

“Can we… persuade you with a day off? Or, a better parking space?”

“Nah, I already have a great parking space. It’s inside so if I want a take a nap I don’t get interrupted… and you know, other things.” He raises his eyebrows making Craig nudge his glasses up his nose.

“What are you, a grandpa?” Britta snorts.

“Pfft, no, I’m just a guy who enjoys taking naps. I’ll take the day off so long as Britta’s doing it too. You’re doing it too right? I’m not just gonna’ be left alone with, I don’t know, Chang?”

“Duh-doy, what do you think I’m here for?”

“I don’t know because Craig doesn’t have enough willpower to persuade me on his own?”

“Exactly.” Britta leans forward but sways to the side to initiate walking, leaving Jeff to smile and nod at the Dean, cupping a hand over his shoulder and making sure not to look back to see how he responds.

“Ugh, so what are you doing tonight? Want to come over to the bar again?”

“Not a lot but I think I’ll give it a miss. Haven’t you got anyone else you can hang out with? What about Duncan, you guys seem to get along.” He nudges her with his elbow playfully, following her through a door out onto the quad.

“Ugh, I haven’t seen that guy in months. Aren’t you supposed to know where he is as his best friend?”

“Best friend might be a stretch. Long-time friend, maybe.”

“Whatever. See you tomorrow.”

He waves back as her heels start clicking against the footpath heading in the opposite direction. She turns and balances herself so she can walk backwards, her arms spread out wide.

“The Halloween thing is October 28th, although I’m pretty sure Frankie will remind you a thousand times.” Jeff throws up his chin in acknowledgement before properly walking out of the conversation, his head down all the way to his car to avoid confrontation with any straggling students.

He doesn’t really mind helping around the place especially since the place, being Greendale, helped him out more than a handful of times. It helps him out every day by giving him a job which is somewhat stable and surprisingly gives him a diet which is adequate enough to sustain the body he’s taken so much time and effort to perfect, so all around, getting a day off in return for standing around in a room blasting with Craig’s choice of Halloween themed songs isn’t the _worst_ outcome for an accosting outside his office.

Outside his apartment is a different story, though. He’s not paying attention at first because he has to dodge around the guy at the end of the floor who he presumes is a nurse or doctor of some kind, smiling and throwing up a couple of fingers as a quick greeting.

“You have _got_ to be kidding me. Come on! This is _not_ the time.”

“MOMMY! I want to go inside! Now!”

“Milo, you have to be quiet okay, Mommy’s trying her hardest right now and I promise you’ll get to go inside soon.”

Annie’s standing with her back facing him, Milo in his stroller beside her, his legs kicking out to the sides. She has her keys in her hand, jingling them about and bringing them up to her face for closer inspection. She goes to the door and slides the key in and turns it to the right, letting out a frustrated groan as she attempts to turn it further. When she fails again, she slumps against the door and breathes. Her cheeks are red and light is reflecting where patches of her skin look damp and tear stained. Milo is grizzling and trying to reach out to her, his fingers skimming the bag hanging off her shoulder.

“Hey…” Jeff inches closer, not wanting to shock her or make her feel uncomfortable with the idea that he’s been standing watching. She’s wiping her eye with the edge of her finger when she sees him, sniffing and trying to suppress her emotions.

“Oh, hey. Well, this is embarrassing.”

“Uh… do you want some help?”

“If help means rewinding this whole day so I can start it all over again then yeah, I could do with some.”

“Bad day?”

“That’s a bit of an understatement… I’ve been here for like thirty minutes trying to unlock our door and I was about to call the landlord just now but there’s now no signal on my phone! And I was late to work and the coffee machine didn’t work and the only thing that _has_ ended up going well today is the freaking printer and then I shouldn’t have gone to work at all _anyway_ because Milo woke up feeling sick and I just _ignored_ it and now I can’t even get in the apartment to make him feel any better! And I can’t open the door! And I’m trying so hard to do everything on my own! And I just--.”

Milo’s watching Jeff closely now from where he’s sat slouched in his stroller, a hand to his face which is paler than usual, the rosy pink colour no longer in his cheeks and nose. Jeff still pulls Annie in, though and rests his head against her hair. He feels her whole body loosen and her shoulders drop once she leans into him, her hands placed up between them. He feels Milo’s stare more than anything so he looks up and winks in an attempt to include him. He sticks out his tongue in response, both of his eyes closing when attempts to mimic Jeff’s expression.

“What’s this for?” She mumbles, her eyes set on a stain in the carpet behind him.

“I think you needed it.”

She almost cries into his sleeve; almost.

He uncurls his arms from her and looks down at the keyhole on her door.

“Do you want me to try, and do it?”

“I can’t get much more pathetic, so yeah.” She raises a shoulder, passing him her keys, holding on tight to the tip of the correct one.

 _“Mommy…”_ Milo’s voice is now down to a whisper, his finger grasping for her hand. She latches onto his finger and watches Jeff, jabbing at the slot. He jolts forward when it opens.

“It was just a little stiff, don’t worry about it. And, you’re not pathetic. Pathetic is accepting to chaperone a school dance without even hesitating because yes, that’s what my life is now.” He tugs out the key and dangles the set in the air for her to take. She smiles briefly but it doesn’t stay.

“That doesn’t sound too bad, it’s your job after all right?”

Jeff sighs and lifts his eyebrows in some sort of agreement, standing with his fingers hooked into his back belt loops.

“Anyway, I should um, deal with him.” Annie puts her hands on the stroller, pointing the wheels in the direction of the front door.

“Sure. Get well soon, buddy.” Jeff goes to curl up his fingers into a fist within his reach but Milo tucks himself further into the stroller in response, so he points his thumb and finger out and winks.

 _“Mommy._ ”

“Yeah, I know, come on then, let’s get you out.”

* * *

 

“ _Dude,_ your place is awesome.”

“You think so? I haven’t really had much chance to do anything with it. It’s not as fun as your apartment.”

Troy shrugs, circling around on the spot, his neck craned even though the ceiling is at an average height.

“Yeah, it’s awesome. It’s all new and _fancy._ ”

“Well, it’s actually not that new but… I’m glad you like it. And I’m glad we could hang out again, the other week reminded me that we should do it more often.” Annie smiles, leaning against the palms of her hands as she stands behind the kitchen counter, letting them wonder around, paying particular attention to how close they’re getting to Milo’s door, where he’s napping.

“Who are your neighbours?” Abed tilts his head and circles his fingers in the air, landing on pointing it towards the wall with the TV. She rolls her eyes and stands up to wander into the lounge with him, pointing in the correct directions.

“There’s some kind of business man in the apartment on the left, across the hall is a really quiet woman who doesn’t seem to want anything to do with me and then obviously, behind there is Jeff.”

“Does he ever have any lady companions?”

“Abed! And…” She brushes away a strand of hair which has fallen into her face, trying to conceal any glimmer of knowing, “…not that I know of. If you’re insinuating what I think you are, then I believe these are thick walls.”

“I bet he has loads of chicks over… just something about that name, man; _Jeff._ I bet he’s a huge player.” Abed pauses and contemplates Troy’s statement, squinting before shaking his head.

“He’s not a _player,_ Troy.”

Although it may look like it, Abed hasn’t lost interest in the conversation, of course.

“So, you _do_ know?”

“I just know that he’s not a _player…_ he’s… a nice person.” It may not be the truth, or at least, it isn’t the current truth that she knows of. She’s not even entirely sure if she _wants_ to know if it’s the truth; to know she’s the only woman he’s seeing. It’s not as if they ever made their ‘arrangement’ exclusive – he’s free to do what he likes, she just doesn’t need to hear about it. Him being a nice person is definitely the truth, though, which makes her think she doesn’t need to worry about him telling her any unwanted details. He’d keep it to himself.

“I’m just glad we get to see Milo again before he grows another two feet. He changes so much every time we see him… he’s like a different kid every time.” Troy must be prompted by the frame he’s looking down at, his finger tracing down the wooden border. It’s from a year ago when Milo’s hair was shorter and he still looked so tiny and wide-eyed.

He’s not changed drastically but he’s sized up in most areas and his nose has slimmed a little so you can see more of _him_ rather than stock baby-faced chubbiness. Annie often thinks that’s a benefit to being his main source of attention – she can grab onto those moments and live with them for longer without sharing them with anyone, before, as Troy says, he changes again.

Abed decides it’s about time Annie catches up on the most recent Inspector Spacetime season as Milo is asleep. They used to marathon it regularly when he was only a newborn because she could breastfeed him and keep him quiet and comfortable for most of the evening. Now, he barely sits still unless he has a knife and fork in his hands or something sugary and sweet. He’s a typical toddler in what he likes, meaning he appreciates and clings onto everything Annie doesn’t want for him.

“Wait, can you pause a second?” Abed stares at her from the armchair across the room, blinking pointedly. She flutters her eyelashes and pouts, smiling at Troy as she glances at him as he watches them both with anticipation. Abed cracks, reaching for the remote to pause and rewind.

“I thought they were invading that city to _avoid_ being transported back?”

“Do you remember the season finale?” He points the remote at her and back to the TV.

“Abed… I have a three-year-old son.”

“Wait, _what?!_ We missed his _birthday?!_ How did I not know about this? Our Milo is all grown up. Aww.” Troy pulls the pillow in his lap to up underneath his chin, pouting towards the floor.

“What? No, Troy, I was rounding up. His birthday is still a few weeks away.”

“Oh, thank _god!”_

“October 28th. I’m not good with time, but I’m good with dates.”

“Yes, see? Abed knows. So… maybe you can explain to me… why they’re invading that city now…?”

“Well, if you go back to the last season in episode tw-.”

_“Mommy!”_

Annie sighs as Abed’s face drops, rubbing her hands down her jean clad thighs.

“I’m sorry Abed, we can finish watching it another time. Or, I’ll try and catch up on my own? I’m sure it will make more sense if I re-watch it.”

He hums in agreement before turning the TV to the channel guide, finding a suitable cartoon he knows Annie has previously given the Milo go-ahead to.

Milo is standing up in his crib, his arms out with his eyes half closed. It’s dark in the room where the blinds are shut down but his eyes look too tired to deal with the light so she leaves it off and scoops him up so he’s resting his cheek lazily on her shoulder.

“Did you have a good nap?”

He nods against her, yawning and making his lips clap together.

“Okay, we’ll just have some quiet time, okay? Troy and Abed are here, would you like to sit with them?”

He nods again, rubbing his eyes from around the back of her neck. When she closes the bedroom door, her back facing Troy and Abed, she smiles when she feels him lift her hand from her back to wave.

 _“I wanna’ sit with T’oy.”_ He whispers, sleepily.

“Okay. I think _Abed’s_ put some nice cartoons on for you so you can sit and watch, okay?”

_“Hi, Abed.”_

“Hey, Milo.”

When Annie’s sat down and realises she’s more knowledgeable of a programme meant for children than a show targeted at her age group, she laughs to herself and has to wave it off when Abed asks what’s so funny. When the theme tune plays for the third time to signal a new five-minute episode, she turns to watch Milo curled up under Troy’s arm, chewing on the blanket thrown over his legs. His hair is tousled at the back, his cheeks are rosy and the collar of his t-shirt is stained from unsightly drool, but it gives her a warm and fuzzy feeling; how content and happy he is to be around the most important people in her life, accepting them as part of his family.

She must miss the knock at the door.

“Hey, I’m just coming to get my… _sweater…_ ”

All their heads except Milo’s turn comically – his stays focused on the screen, too far into a comfortable and distracted daze. Annie drops her mouth open before putting a palm to her head. She knew she’d forgotten something before Troy and Abed had arrived, she just couldn’t quite put a pin on it.

“You said I could just… come… over… any…time…”

“I’m remembering that now.”

Jeff scans the room, linking eyes with the two unfamiliar faces. When he steps in a little closer, though, his eyes adjust and he gapes along with _Abed._

“Jeff Winger. Loser at law. The Winger Guarantee.”

Annie’s hair whips around as she zones in on Abed, soon returning her confused stare to Jeff whose ears are pricked back.

“ _Loser?!_ ”

“Troy… what’s going on…?” He looks as confused as Annie does, like his brain is working at a hundred miles per hour to puzzle everything together. Meanwhile, Milo is still unconcerned, only briefly looking Jeff’s way.

“I did a commercial for Jeff when Troy was away last year but it never got aired because he couldn’t afford it. The line was originally ‘hero’ at law but well…” Jeff pulls back his shoulders and breathes out as Abed tilts his head with a click of a finger, “…I thought I knew a Jeff but I think it’s safe to say there are probably more than one Jeff in the area.”

Annie stands up between the coffee table then, making Milo pout and twist his neck, leaning even further into Troy’s lap in order to carry on watching the screen behind her.

“ _Wait,_ so you and Abed have known each other this _whole_ time?”

“I guess.” Jeff shrugs, smiling tightly at Abed.

“Mhm.”

Annie shakes her head and laughs under her breath, stepping away to the kitchen where Jeff’s sweater is neatly folded on top of the counter.

“But, why did Jeff just walk straight in?” Abed tilts his head, standing up himself so he can see around part of the wall which extends outwards slightly. Her swallow catches in her throat as she leans over and smooths out the soft knit. She only just notices the elbow pads on it seeing as he hadn’t had it on long enough when he’d discarded it on her floor. They barely got anywhere that night on her couch, she’d just needed to feel his skin, hot and flush against her.

“Um… just, I mean, nobody else is going to walk in, right? And, I already knew he was coming I just forgot. It’s fine.” She smiles at Abed and passes it over to Jeff. He takes it hesitantly, trying to read her expression by dipping his head. He squints before straightening his back, understanding.

“Yeah, and I’ve got it now, so…” He’s looking over Abed’s shoulder, though, a smile playing at his lips where Milo has sat up in Troy’s lap, distracted by towering figures in the kitchen.

“Jeff! I want to sit with Jeff!”

“Milo, you’re cool, you don’t need to sit with Jeff, I mean, what’s _Jeff_ gonna’ do that I can’t? Huh?” Troy’s rubbing a hand down Milo’s back but he’s almost off the couch now. Annie looks from Milo to Jeff, raising a shoulder with her teeth gritted into a smile.

“Wanna’ join us for cartoons and whatever else ends up happening?” In the moment, it can’t hurt. It seems right with the news that Jeff and Abed are already acquainted.

He’s trying hard not to let his smile deepen too far as he focuses back on Annie. He glances back to Abed though because he never could quite read the guy yet it seemed he could always read _him._

“Is this gonna’ work?” He points back and forth between himself, asking Annie, mainly.

“I don’t know… you’re the ones who know each other!”

Jeff bobs his head, eyes focused behind them, flicking his chin up when he makes his decision.

“Milo, I’m coming for you.”

When Annie follows him with a smile, Abed stays put, watching them go.

Milo climbs down from the couch letting the blanket go as he stretches his arms in the air, waiting for Jeff to sit where Abed previously was. He slouches back with a sigh, cupping his hands under Milo’s arms once he reaches him, to perch him on his knee.

“Hey, buddy.”

“Milo, are we sticking with this show to drive Mommy insane or can I change it to something else?”

Jeff grins when he pouts in contemplation, the tip of his tongue sticking out.

“Something else.”

Everyone else settles down then with Milo comfortably seated, tucking into Jeff’s side whilst holding his hands out like he’s counting. Jeff’s whispering or at least trying not to speak over the TV, pointing at each of his fingers whilst pulling faces and tugging him closer. Abed’s sat next to Troy now that his seating arrangement has been changed.

_“Dude’s not trying to replace us, is he?”_

Abed shakes his head.

“Ooh, you guys should go out on a boy’s date with Milo if you want to really get to know each other. I think you’ll get along. Would you like that Milo? You could go out on your own with Uncle Troy & Abed _and_ Jeff?”

Jeff frowns, raising an eyebrow.

“ _Unrelated_ Uncles,” Annie confirms, “but it would give me some much-needed mommy time so I hope you would enjoy that… you know, if you guys are up for it.” She looks around the room to find Abed and Troy shrugging and nodding. It makes her slightly nervous for Jeff if he were to say yes like they’d use it as a chance to interrogate him. There’s something which makes sense about the combination, though; like they’d all bring out different qualities in each other.

“ _I_ join you when you need much-needed mommy time.”

“I mean… _on my own._ ”

“What does he mean by ‘I join you’?”

She mentally bats away Abed’s question, watching Milo listening in.

“Well, Milo?”

He doesn’t give her much of answer, so she takes it as a maybe.


	10. What Happened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She knows it would be fine in the end, Shirley’s good like that, once she’s adjusted to an idea she’ll end up being surprisingly supportive, it’s just that at first her initial reaction can be rather judgemental or passive-aggressive and Annie’s not sure if she’s ready to deal with that just yet. She’s happy to keep everything the way it is for as long as she can. There’s no pressure. She’s happy. It’s casual.

“Oh… oh… _oh… god…_ Jeff… uhh…”

 _“Fuck._ ”

He’s leaning into the crook of her shoulder, his right hand crossed over her waist, his fingertips clutching at the skin there as her back presses up against his chest. His other hand is guiding her own and yeah, this is probably the hottest thing they’ve done, not that he’s able to analyse every position they’ve been in or every climax he’s experienced with her in his state of mind, but it feels like it, at least.

She arches against him and exclaims his name one last time before he comes shuddering down himself, catching his gasps for air by kissing up the side of her neck sporadically. Her shoulders are rising and falling against him, her eyes still closed but her teeth playing at her lips where a smile is starting to form. He’d usually take laughing as some sort of offence directly after sex but this time he finds himself following her lead as she laughs breathlessly.

They collapse to the side, rolling themselves off each other so they’re laid out on their backs, hands up above their heads. He can still only hear their breathing, loud in his ears. His hand goes to his chest as if it will slow everything down, stop him from laughing again when he’s not sure why he wants to.

When he looks at her again, her fingers drop to his hip and he shifts closer to kiss her, his own fingers threading through her hair.

 _“You should come over more.”_ He whispers, hot against her ear.

_“If you pay for my babysitter, then sure.”_

_“Or… you know, maybe_ I _could come over…”_ He’s kissing every inch of her neck, her jaw, the corner of her smile.

_“How many times do I have to tell you…?”_

When he captures her lips, he tugs on her with his teeth, pulling back to watch her.

_“I know, I just like seeing you.”_

_“If you_ really _like seeing me, then you can come over and see Milo too.”_

_“Would that get me in your good books?”_

She runs her hands through his hair and lets him fall on her chest, his cheek against her shoulder.

_“Maybe.”_

He kisses her one last time before sitting up to grab hold of the duvet that is half off the bed and half on, flinging it untidily over their legs. When he lies back, he stares at a spot on the ceiling, a smirk on his face. Annie watches him and sees that other Jeff; the tough and tall one, the smartly dressed and slick talking one.

“Can I ask you something?” He turns his head to see her almost instantly, seeing her hair spilling over the edge of the mattress, her smile fading.

She’s been holding it off, not knowing if it’s her place to ask or if he’ll ever be ready. It’s just that, now that she knows _Abed knows,_ it feels as if there’s an uneven balance between them because she _doesn’t_ know. He knows about her life, so why can’t she know about his? She’s respected him and let him have his time but surely, he should respect her too? Give her part of him when he’s giving _everything_ to her at least once a week?

“Shoot.”

“What… happened? When you were a lawyer?”

The dazed amusement doesn’t leave his face until he’s turned, looking up at the ceiling again, like he’s been holding it off himself, content in the idea of her not knowing. She knows it’s harder for other people. She’s always prided herself on wearing her heart on her sleeve but she knows some people pride themselves on the opposite; keeping it covered, the sleeve rolled down.

“I, uh… I lied about my degree and, uh… some douchebag found out and I lost my license and got disbarred. It’s why I ended up at Greendale. It turns out you have to have a real one. It’s, uh, how I found your friend Abed, I guess. Once I got out I decided to give it a shot on my own but… yeah, it didn’t really work out and so I went back again and now I teach. I mean, I deserve it,” He shrugs his shoulder, “with cheating and everything but… I was good at my job. Like, _really_ good. I was gonna’ make partner and I could have gone further.”

“It’s not like I hate teaching but I suppose it’s always kind of felt like… I don’t know…”

She watches his throat ripple; his fingers clench up against his skin.

“…like I failed.” He pouts his lips and nods, facing her again. “That’s what happened.”

Her eyes are wide and understanding, soaking in everything he’s saying. He can’t read her expression for long though because she’s cupping his jaw and stroking her thumb against his cheek as she guides him to her mouth. It’s soft and he only moves to fit their noses against each other. When she pulls away, she still says holding on.

“What’s that for?”

“I think you needed it.”

He responds by closing the gap again, letting her hand slip around to his back so he can hold her in place, rolling over her.

“I should go.” She clutches onto him before he can get much further, smiling as he falls back into place. She sits up on the edge of the bed, still smiling. “Goodnight.”

“Night.” He grins lopsidedly, resting himself where she’d been laying previously as she gathers her clothes and walks off into the living room, leaving him alone. He lifts his head when she pokes around the open door a few minutes later, though, her hair looking smoother and her blouse buttoned up to her neck.

“You could get in my good books tomorrow if you wanted? It would work well with me.”

He leaves her with a raised eyebrow but follows through. It’s how he finds himself sat on her couch with a bemused look on his face.

“You invited me over so you could take a shower?”

“I just never get time on my own anymore. I’ll literally be ten minutes, I just need to wash my hair.”

“You’re gonna’ trust me with your kid for _ten_ minutes?” She’s not sure if he’s joking as he leans forward, pointedly bobbing his head from her to Milo.

“Nothing’s going to happen in my living room so long as you keep an eye on him.”

He watches her, gazing up and down her body from top to toe.

“Please?”

He’s already concluded that Milo has her eyes but it’s even more apparent when she’s trying to get something she wants.

“If you really had to you can just barge in on me in the shower. I’ll leave the door unlocked.”

He was already about to succumb to her pleading but instead, he turns and flashes a grin at her, wriggling his eyebrows up and down. She rolls her eyes before smiling, chuffed, disappearing into her bedroom where the bathroom is tucked away as an en-suite.

Milo’s not watching when Jeff sighs and slouches back into the cushions; he’s slotting animal shaped blocks of wood together on the carpet but Jeff can tell he’s been listening intently, not in need of an answer to his question, just wanting confirmation.

“Where’s Mommy gone?”

“She’s gone to have a shower.”

“Whyyy…?”

“Because she needs one.”

“What’s Jeff doing?” He clicks a block into place, clapping his hands together once he realises there aren’t any more animals to add to the puzzle.

“Watching you finish that _amazing_ puzzle.”

He starts squealing then, screeching out different noises and vowel sounds as he stands up on his feet to sway from side to side, his hair toing and froing. Jeff just presumes it’s a toddler way of exerting energy so he lets him be, only really keeping an eye on how loud he’s being in case it annoys the neighbours or anyone living above or below.

He huffs out, his stomach stretching out with his yellow spotted t-shirt as he holds his fists against his hips triumphantly.

“Jeff, can you play?”

“I don’t know I think you’re getting along fine on your own, why don’t you do another puzzle?”

“Hmm… okay.” He drops to the floor without flinching, busying himself again so Jeff has time to bring out his phone for his own entertainment. He makes sure it’s on mute though in case Milo gets distracted by the animated world of Fruit Ninja; he reached a new high score the last time he played so it’s partly so Milo doesn’t distract _him._

When he slices at a third bomb, he looks past his screen and Milo’s still happily playing independently, lying on his back with a toy car in his hand.

“It can fly!”

“Mhmm…” Jeff gains a new sword on the game, making him mutter under his breath, _“Yes.”_

“It can go really high.”

“Yeah.”

“I can too!”

“Yeah…”

“Mommy, look!”

“Mommy’s not--.”

“Jeff!”

He grits his teeth when the level ends, dropping his phone into his lap to find Annie glaring at him, her hand pointed towards Milo who has somehow managed to climb up onto the coffee table unnoticed.

“Oh sorry, oh shi-, oh sorry.” He clenches his eyes shut, _“Dammit.”_

“It’s fine, just… watch out next time.”

He runs his fingers through his hair before rubbing his face in guilt.

“Come on Milo, off the table, you know we don’t climb on furniture.”

“I was flying a car!”

“I know sweetie but it’s dangerous, you know that.”

She’s got her hair up in a bun, slicked back but a little unkempt from where it’s still wet, the shoulders of her hoody dotted with water stains.

“Right, do you want some lunch?”

Milo nods and follows her to the kitchen where she dumps the towel in her hand. Jeff twiddles his thumbs and locks his phone before standing and joining them, leaning his back up against the kitchen counter near to where she’s pulling cheese and cucumber out of the fridge. Milo’s stomping around by the doorway, slightly less enthralled by his actions now that he’s not climbing rebelliously.

When she’s starting to cut cucumber slices on a plastic chopping board, Jeff lowers his voice and gets in her eyeline.

“So, will I see you tonight?”

“Not tonight, or tomorrow, or even the next day. I told you.”

She doesn’t look up to acknowledge him so he reaches out and tugs on one of the strings on her hoodie, pulling the neck down so she knows to look up.

“I just like making you feel good.”

She takes a deep breath when she sees his eyes dropping to her lips, and _god,_ does it feel good to have someone looking at her like that like she doesn’t have food stains on her hoodie or a button missing on her jeans because she hasn’t had time to sew it back on.

“And I appreciate that but… I can’t keep up.” The furrow between her brows twists, “Which I realise makes my life sound super boring but it’s the truth.”

“Your life isn’t boring.”

“Really? I’m turning down the opportunity to have regular sex with a super-hot guy because I can’t afford it and I _really_ shouldn’t have said that in the same sentence.”

He chuckles, his smile lines creasing up as his grin spreads across his whole face.

“All I’m saying is, my door is always open and I’d totally wouldn’t mind if you used it more often.”

“Your door is always open?” She points the knife at him, dead serious.

“Well, not _literally._ ”

“Okay good, don’t do that.”

“Thanks for the advice… oh, and uh, by the way, are you sure he doesn’t want to be a mountaineer or something?” He lifts his chin to the living room behind her.

“What?” She turns, _“Milo,_ get. Down. Now.”

Jeff takes it as his time to slip out as she drops the knife and goes over to stop Milo from climbing any further up a bookshelf. As he closes the door slowly, he tries not to let a laugh escape him at the sight of Annie getting worked up and attempting to be stern with him.

“We _don’t_ climb on furniture.”

* * *

 

She thought moving daycare centre would deem it impossible to be surrounded by stuck-up parents who thrive off one-upmanship but as she sits in the back of the bi-monthly parents meeting on one of the plastic chairs in the back row, she realises it must be inherently engrained in a lot of people. It’s not an evening to talk about how well each child is progressing individually, it’s an evening to discuss how the daycare _itself_ is progressing and changing, and to see whether it needs changing at all.

She likes that element; the last daycare Milo has been at had just filed information off via email and had the more established parents write newsletter segments on what they decided was right for everybody else.

This time around it’s not far off, there are still a select few who have obviously been planning ideas to propose for months now so that they can seem more prepared and level-headed than anyone else in the room, like the one mother who’s arranging the whole entire charity bake sale on _her own_ and is making it extremely clear that she won’t change the fact no matter how much anyone offers. Annie has to control her eye roll just in case anyone notices.

If anyone does notice, though, she knows it will be Ward, the divorced now-single dad who cheated on his ex-wife with what the Gossiping Mother’s clique like to call, a younger longer-legged version of who she already was. It’s all playground talk for Annie, overheard as they stand around at pick-up time in the yard out front. She can see him doing that sort of thing, though, so much so it surprises her that he even attends the meetings. She supposes some people treat their daughters with more respect than women in general.

“And finally, how is everybody feeling about the possible pick-up time change? We just think it’s open to becoming a little earlier.”

There’s a dull murmuring in the room, heads bobbing down with parents talking among themselves. Annie sits quietly though, unsure as to why there’s anything to deliberate; the pick-up times are fine. There’s one at noon for the youngest children or those who have a schedule to fit, a second one a few hours later for the next set of kids and the final time at six o’clock which allows Annie enough time to get from work in the traffic.

“So, I presume everyone’s okay with that?” Tansy, the woman standing up front silences them all, holding out her hands like it’s a done deal. She’s the kind of woman with long slender fingers adorned with different rings, a neck draped in thin silver beads which add to her whole aesthetic and energy of being calm and collected as they wave and dangle against her loose fitted linen dress.

Annie scans the room briefly, only catching one other person with a similar expression on her face, before raising her hand hesitantly. The woman smiles from the front, holding out her head like she just can’t _wait_ to hear what Annie has to say.

“I’m not sure if that’s the most… reasonable idea, I mean, not everyone can come earlier, especially not those of us who are…” She looks back to the other parent across the room who is nodding along with her, “…on our own.”

“We’ll probably be going with the majority and a lot of you have been saying you’re open to it being more flexible. It’s all up in the air, we just wanted to inform you.”

“But… technically we can come and pick them up at any time, right? It’s just to avoid having people coming in and out all the time, so, would it cut the day short completely?”

“Like I said, it’s all up in the air. We’ll likely do a trial run of it.” Annie’s about to speak again but Tansy’s hands go to her hips and she knows there’s no chance of saying anything more. “Okay, I think that’s all for today. Thank you all _so_ much for coming. I’m sure you’re all _dying_ to finally pick them up so we’ll let you go for now. If you have any more questions or concerns,” (Annie’s certain she says this towards her), “then you can just email me at any time. Have a wonderful evening.”

Chairs squeak against the floor and feet shuffle as the room rushes to do just that, filing towards the entrance hall where the main play room has been opened, children filtering through gradually. Annie stands towards the back feeling as if all eyes are on her yet knowing nobody is even taking notice. She’s definitely the youngest mother there, at least this evening or that she knows of, and although it might all be in her head, she can’t fight feeling so much smaller because of it.

But then Milo comes rushing out of the doors, his miniature backpack swinging from his shoulders as he looks up and around, his neck tilted up as he searches for her. She waits a moment for him to find her himself, his legs slowing down to a shy walk once he does. She crouches down to his height and pulls him in for a hug, sighing into his shoulder, everybody else drowning out.

“I wanna’ go home, Mommy.”

“I know, we’ll just sign out and then we’ll go, okay?”

He nods against her shoulder, gripping onto her as she goes to stand-up so he’ll have to pull him up with her. She walks over to the reception, ticks his name on the clipboard and is ready to leave when she gets a tap on the shoulder, prompting her to turn.

“Hi… I just wanted to say I agree with what you said in there. Even the divorcees have someone else to turn to. I can’t be changing what time I pick him up, that’s a huge decision.” Annie instantly recognises her as the nodding woman sat in the meeting and she can feel her whole body relax.

“I know… I’m not even sure if I’ll be able to work around their ‘trial run’. What does that even mean?”

“I have no idea. Anyway, I guess I’ll leave you be. Maybe um,” She squints before pointing at Milo in realisation, “Milo? And Leo and could have a playdate sometime?”

“Yeah, maybe.” Annie instinctively looks down at the mom’s hand but realises Leo has yet to make his appearance.

“Cool, well, I have to wait for my one so… have a nice evening.”

“Thanks.” She’s about to step away when Annie stops her in her tracks. “Oh wait, this is really embarrassing but… I don’t know your name?”

“Eileen.”

“Annie.”

She waves goodbye and Annie feels just that little bit taller, her shoulders back comfortably even with Milo pulling her down, and a spring in her step on her walk to the car. When she checks her phone she barely even blinks at Jeff’s text message, pressing call to Shirley to see if she can make a last-minute arrangement.

“You want me to come over tonight?”

“If you could? I have your money for this month as well.”

“What’s going on this evening, is it another work dinner?”

“Um…” She pauses whilst strapping herself into the car, rolling her eyes and shrugging her shoulders, picking something out of thin air and hoping she doesn’t sound too questioning of her own words “I’m having drinks with a mom from daycare?”

“Ooh, have you made a new friend?”

“Yeah… something like that.”

“As long as you’re happy… I’ll drop by this evening, okay sweetie? Not for long but I’ll try my best.”

“Thanks, Shirley.”

She disconnects the call and replies to Jeff as Milo kicks against the back of her chair. Shirley seems more inquisitive than usual which leaves Annie tossing and rolling her head around in a mental conversation between herself the whole fifteen-minute journey home.

She started off not telling anyone about Jeff because that was the whole point in _seeing_ Jeff; he was the little slice of her life only she knew about and only _she_ could make a judgement on. Sure, Milo could dislike him but that would only make things easier, she could compartmentalise Jeff to herself completely.

If she told Shirley now, she can only assume that there would be hundreds of questions about why she hadn’t told her earlier on and why she felt the need to hide it from her, _‘although I know I’m not your mother, you know you can talk to me about anything, Annie’._ She knows it would be fine in the end, Shirley’s good like that, once she’s adjusted to an idea she’ll end up being surprisingly supportive, it’s just that at first her initial reaction can be rather judgemental or passive-aggressive and Annie’s not sure if she’s ready to deal with that just yet. She’s happy to keep everything the way it is for as long as she can. There’s no pressure. She’s happy. It’s casual.

Telling _Abed_ would be a whole other story because he doesn’t even attempt to hide it under a veil of passive-judgements and she’s not sure which is worse. It’s also because there’s usually no middle ground with Abed, it’s either good news or bad news and once again, she’s not sure if she’s ready to deal with that just yet. It’s good news in her mind but being told the opposite by somebody she deeply respects and well, truly _loves,_ wouldn’t sit too well.

Troy, on the other hand, would probably be the easiest to tell, not that she’s going to because although he might like the sound of her spending time with someone like Jeff and living a little more freely than usual, he hasn’t handled keeping secrets well in the past.

She realises her pattern of thinking makes it seem like she’s going to tell them, which she’s not. She doesn’t need anyone to point out the flaws in her current situation because she knows them all. It’s a risk that Milo will get attached even without knowing that she’s ‘involved’ with Jeff. It’s a risk that _she’ll_ get attached even though Jeff is so far from the man she would ever dream to lead a life with, and it’s a risk that all of that will combine and end up in a big mess. She knows that… she doesn’t need confirmation or people emphasising the truth for her.

* * *

 

“What did you do today?”

He’s chopping a slice of melon into cubes as she swings her legs on the kitchen counter, only wearing his t-shirt because she’s not ready to get dressed up to leave just yet. He’d been surprised after seeing her so last-minute on Friday that she’d be up to seeing him again a few days later; he’d sent that text on a whim, expecting her to say no again or push it forward to some other time. But she’s here again and he isn’t complaining, especially when his shirt is now barely covering her thighs as she scoots up and reaches for a piece of fruit. It’s the only snack she’ll eat in his apartment, apparently.

“After work, I went and quickly got Milo his birthday present. I’m not big on giving him loads of gifts, I’d rather take him out for a day to remember and just enjoy some time off. Luckily, I can get out of work so I think I might take him to the aquarium. They have some sort of Halloween deal going on so it should work out well. What about you?”

He nods along with her, popping a chunk of melon in his own mouth before pausing and dropping the knife down on the chopping board in front of him.

“Wait, when’s his birthday? I don’t think you ever told me.”

“Oh, it’s this Friday. I guess I just didn’t think you’d need to know… you don’t need to like, get him a gift or anything.”

He continues cutting then, reaching the end of the slice so he can slide it to one side and scoop everything up into the bowl resting beside Annie’s leg. He mainly hadn’t been planning on buying anyone any gifts because he hadn’t known a date to give one on; now it would seem rude not to.

“When’s your birthday?” He asks, fruit still in the side of his cheek as he gestures towards her.

“…December 19th. It’s kind of annoyingly placed, right before Christmas and Hannukah and all.”

He must briefly raise his eyebrow or let his expression falter confusedly because she rolls her eyes and explains a little further.

“I’m half Jewish. My dad is Episcopalian and my mom is Jewish. We kind of celebrated both when I was younger and I suppose I follow that tradition… Milo helps me light the menorah.” She shrugs before looking him up and down, “What about you?”

“Oh, uh, nah, I don’t really follow any of that. I don’t care about other people, though, you can believe whatever you want. I guess I’ve always ‘celebrated’ Christmas, you know with gifts and everything. I feel like everyone does these days. I get what you mean about badly timed birthdays, though, mine is right before Thanksgiving which means I’m always tied into staying a couple nights at my mom’s.”

She seems content in his answer and the conversation, happily smiling and continuing to dip her fingers into the fruit he’s prepared, her feet still swinging.

He really wants to move the conversation or at least _her_ somewhere else but he’s curious, just in case he does get time to go out or possibly make use of that Amazon Prime account he signed up to spontaneously at the start of the year.

“What did you get Milo, then?”

“Oh… I just got him some new pyjamas like the cool, exciting mom I am. I’m hoping to get him into his proper bed at some point in the future and I think he’ll appreciate the gesture beforehand. Plus, he has _so_ many toys and I barely even know where half of them came from.”

He laughs a little and they stay there for a while, arms almost touching as they look out at Jeff’s living room before he steps forward and turns to her, his hands lying flat on the countertop either side of her legs as he surrounds her.

“You _are_ a cool, exciting mom.”

“ _Really?_ ” She tilts her head, amusement in her eye but challenge in her voice.

“You will be if you stop talking.”

He cups his hands underneath her knees and pulls her forward so that he can get a better position on her before lowering to his own knees.

“Surely the one who’s about to stop talking, is you?”

He eyes her through his lashes as he tugs up the hem of his shirt that is resting on her hips, grinning.

* * *

 

“Happy birthday to _you,_ happy birthday to _you,_ happy birthday dear _Milo,_ happy birthday to… _you!”_

He’s smiling as soon as he opens his eyes and starts to rub at them, adjusting to the light in his room. They’ve both had a longer sleep than usual and she knows he probably feels as relaxed and content as she does, with no rush to get up and do anything. Although she has plans, she’s also open to going with the flow which is a rarity because all she wants to do is embrace every moment of seeing him enjoy his day. She knows he has yet to fully grasp the idea of a birthday but his face always brightens up at the prospect of such an event so she thinks it’s worth making a fuss over, even if piles of presents aren’t involved.

“It’s your birthday, do you know what that means?”

“I’m a big boy.” He mumbles into his pillow as she crouches down to his level, looking through the wooden bars.

“Yeah, you’re _three_ years old! I can’t believe it… do you want pancakes for breakfast?” He nods, bringing his blanket up to his mouth.

“Can I bring my blanket?”

“Of _course,_ you can. Come on then.”

In the kitchen, Milo sits on the couch and watches one of his favourite cartoons, humming along to the musical numbers within it as she fries up some blueberry and chocolate chip pancakes, filling the room with the satisfying scent of home baking.

They eat the majority of the plate she makes, leaving one or two for later when Abed and Troy have planned to pop around again to give Milo a special hello, before getting dressed and heading out as soon as Milo seems ready and undistracted by toys and the TV.

It turns out that the deal for the aquarium tickets is only valid for families of three but Milo’s ticket is free anyway so she would only have been saving money for herself. He walks happily through the first segment, pointing at starfish in just-low-enough displays and pausing to stare at jellyfish which are illuminated blue. The bigger the displays get though the harder it is for him to stay focused and keep up his energy so she straps him in the stroller, kneeling to point out different fish and creatures as and when needed.

His favourite tank ends up being the sharks which surprises her because he hadn’t been able to stop going on about ‘Dory’ after the new Nemo movie was released but he seems to skim past the blue tang fish rather quickly, making her stop to get her phone out so he can pose where he’s seated.

“Mommy, take a photo!”

“Okay… say three for your birthday! Ready?”

“Three!”

It’s a little dark but the grin on his face is worth it.

She decides her favourite tank is home to the sting-rays because although they may not be the most beautiful or eye-catching, there’s something soothing about the way they glide through the water and settle down onto the sand.

She lets him eat whatever he wants in the underwater themed cafeteria which disturbingly sells a lot of fish-based items. He opts for chicken nuggets, though, luckily, dipping them into ketchup and holding up his chin in satisfaction with every bite. The whole place is surprisingly busy for a Friday so they sit in the corner by a window looking out onto the entrance, staying clear of the rows of tables filled up by rowdy pre-teens on what must be a school trip.

Once they’ve finished up she takes him out to the playground with a mermaid see-saw and a whale-shaped climbing frame until he’s worn out enough that she knows he’ll fall asleep in the car.

He must know it’s not a day for resting for too long because he wakes up as soon as she turns into the parking lot of the apartment. She rolls her eyes as soon as she sees Troy and Abed standing by the main door, both wearing party hats and waving to get Milo riled up before he’s even stepped out the car. Abed carries Milo up to her door proudly, taking off his hat so that Milo can hold it.

“Thanks for coming. Are you staying for dinner? He had a big breakfast and lunch so I’m really going to be doing much.”

“We um, we can’t tonight, there’s this launch party and Abed thinks we might be able to talk to the company about making a short movie for them so… we wish we could but…”

“Yeah, it’s fine, it’s no problem, I’m sure Milo will be exhausted enough.” She laughs a little as she goes into her bedroom to find Milo’s gift which she wrapped the night before. “Okay Milo, do you want to sit down and we can do your presents?”

“YAY!” He circles the couch before dropping to the floor by Troy’s feet, reaching his hands up in the air.

“You can open Mommy’s first because I’m sure whatever Troy and Abed have gotten you is _far_ more exciting. Here you go…” The tape is loosely stuck down with lots of gaps so when it drops into his lap he gets to work on it immediately, pulling back the corners where he can easily peel off the tape. He’s making noises of curiosity, looking up at her every few moments. Troy’s on the edge of the seat looking more intrigued than Milo himself.

“It’s a crocodile!”

“Yeah, it’s got crocodiles on it, hasn’t it?” Once he’s tugged out the fabric completely, she explains in more detail. “I thought now that you’re getting a bit older, I’d get you some new pyjamas to get you excited for when you finally start using your _big_ bed to sleep in, okay? Because that crib isn’t going to last you forever so those crocodiles are gonna’ keep you safe when you start sleeping in your big one, okay?”

“Crocodile, _RAAR!”_ He holds the pyjamas close before throwing them towards her, standing up and stomping across the room to hug her knees where she’s sat in the armchair.

“Thank you, Mommy.”

“Good boy.” She kisses him on the head before he turns and faces Troy and Abed, looking at the bag sat between them.

Their gift is in a bag so that he can pull it out immediately, the _it_ being a toy Quantum Spanner from Inspector Spacetime. Although Milo’s never watched the show, he’s familiar with the characters and owns enough memorabilia to get excited.

They spend the rest of the afternoon acting out scenarios and trying to teach Milo how to play The Ears Have It game, all four of them breaking out into hysterics when he somehow guesses his pair correctly, the first time.

“We’re sorry we couldn’t stay with you all day, Milo. We’ll try and get you something at the super cool adult party, though, okay?”

Annie raises an eyebrow at Troy as he says goodbye in the doorway.

“Adult?”

“I just mean like, Milo’s a kid so, he can’t come.”

“Right…”

“Will you make sure he keeps his Quantum Spanner safe? I feel like he could win the kid's entry at the InSpectiCon in the future.”

“Will do, Abed.” Annie bobs her head, resting her hand on Milo’s shoulder as he stands back and lets them close the door.

* * *

 

“You’re checking your phone way more than usual which is saying something. What is it? Is your anxiety playing up again? Are you finally talking to your mom on a daily basis? Or, and I know you’ll _hate_ me for saying this… does Jeff Winger _actually_ have a heart and is checking up on someone who holds a part of it?”

“If I wasn’t supposed to be representing a good example right now, I’d dunk your head in the punch bowl behind you.” Jeff grins down at Britta, pointedly sliding his phone back into his pocket before taking a sip of his admittedly, non-alcoholic drink.

“Whatever, you can go soon anyway, we weren’t signed up for clean-up duty.”

“I know, you failed to miss that one on your inaccurate list of reasons I’d be checking my phone. I was checking the time.”

“Don’t you have like a ridiculously expensive watch on your wrist that could probably pay for all of my vet bills, even for the cats I don’t have yet?”

“Ha ha, I bought this watch when I was a lawyer thank you very much and it’s lasted long as an investment piece. I’d give it to the son I don’t have yet before I’d ever think about paying your vet bills.”

She glares at him incredulously, leaning back on her heels.

Neither of them are really in costume, although she knows Jeff almost definitely has his cowboy hat in his office to match the tightly fitted navy shirt he’s wearing, like he’d worn many moons ago, and she could probably pull off being some sort of gothic character if she had a streak or two of black in her hair.

“We can leave at half past, right? I mean, there’s literally like ten people left in here.”

“Yeah, sur-.”

“Alright, happy Halloween.” He dips his head before walking backwards until he reaches a trash can to chuck his cup into, turning away and disappearing out the cobwebbed door before she has a chance to stop him.

He makes a detour for his office on the way to his car, picking up the box on his desk and his duffel coat from its hook before basically jogging out of the library and up the stairs of the parking lot. There aren’t many cars on the road which means he can fly through most traffic lights on green, only having to stop for a considerable amount of time when a group of kids doing some early trick or treating rounds walk across the road.

Once he’s parked, he locks up his car and rushes to the elevator as quickly as he dashed through the quad. He runs his fingers through his hair at Annie’s door as he waits, the small box from his desk in hand.

She opens up and he knows she’s been in bed or laying on the couch by the way her hair is messed up slightly at the back and by the way her cheeks have filled with colour from the warmth of her pillow.

“Jeff? What are you doing here?”

“Milo’s asleep, right? I’m sorry I missed him but I had a full day of work and then I had to stay late for a Halloween thing, so…”

“Yeah, he’s been out for a few hours but… what? No, Jeff, I wouldn’t have expected you to have come and seen us, I mean… I don’t know why you would.”

He leans forward to make what he says next clearer.

“Because he’s a kid and it’s his birthday? I mean, I hate the damn things now that it’s basically a day to symbolise my old age but, he’s a kid. I don’t know any others so I guess if I have the opportunity to make his a little better, I’ll at least try.”

She sighs out a laugh whilst staring at the floor so he distracts her by holding out the box he’s been clenching onto.

“I, uh, got him something. I know you said he had loads of toys already but, I didn’t really know what else to get him.”

Her fingers clasp around the edges of the box but she’s still not quite looking at him.

“Can I come in? It feels a little weird just standing here.”

That seems to shake her out of it, though, her head _literally_ shaking as she stands to the side and closes the door behind him.

“Should I open it… like, before him, or?”

He shrugs whilst unbuttoning his coat.

“I don’t know, I guess I could just tell you. It’s not a big deal or anything.”

“Oh yeah, I guess then I won’t ruin the packaging.” She grins and slides it onto the kitchen island, admiring the bow on top for a moment.

“It’s just like, a toy train because I remember when I first came over he was playing with one and… I don’t know, I saw it and… I bought it.”

“Oh yeah… I remember.” She admires him too for a moment as he turns and hangs up his coat, signalling that he doesn’t expect to leave anytime soon. “Thanks… I know he’ll appreciate it. I mean, I do too. I said he has lots of toys but he doesn’t really have many new ones so, it will be nice.”

She knows he’s respecting her rules when he stands with his hands in his back pockets, rocking back and forth but not making a move forward.

“I was um, actually just doing some work in bed before you came over. I want to get it finished tonight so I have the weekend free, so, do you mind if I’m just on my laptop?”

“I could… get mine from next door? I could probably do some late-night paper checking.”

“Okay, yeah, sure.”

When he returns, she has her feet up on the coffee table, her laptop, well, on her lap, her hair tied up in a bun and a plate of what looks like pancakes rested by her thigh. He has to conceal the gulp in his throat with the click of the door.

“Do you want some of Milo’s left-over birthday pancakes?”

“Nah, I’m good.”

When she lifts a fork in the air in his direction ten minutes later, though, he takes the bite.


	11. Something's Missing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He’s at a point where his hands are dangerously close to leading themselves beneath her skirt when she pulls back and drops to her feet, leaving his bottom lip dragging against her forehead. His face is full of concern as questions and thoughts and ideas and worst case scenarios flood his mind and imagination of what he possibly could have done this time but then her eyes close and she’s holding a finger up in the air as if to focus herself and it all becomes clear.

Annie’s fingers have been drumming against the side of the bath tub ever since Milo got in because tomorrow is the day that the daycare centre trial run an earlier pick-up time and she still hasn’t worked out a way to get around it. Luckily a lot of parents seem to have changed their tune now that it’s actually happening and by the looks of things it won’t be happening again but that doesn’t mean she can avoid it.

Shirley can’t help out because her boys have an unmissable play or recital of some kind at school, Troy and Abed will be on a shoot for one of their clients and well, as she counts on her fingers with Milo looking on in intrigue, she realises that’s as many people she knows that have previously dealt with a pick-up arrangement in the past.

She realises she could always go down the route of asking someone like Eileen to look after him for an hour or so but they’re only just acquaintances and she doesn’t feel as if she’s in any position to ask of such a favour just yet, so she slumps even further down the wall where she’s sat at the end of the bath, lacking any other ideas but to skip work and deal with the consequences.

“Milo, I don’t know what I’m going to do tomorrow. I really should have arranged something before but I just haven’t had time. Do you think work would mind?” She’s asking him rhetorically of course because sometimes it’s nice to just vent and articulate things out loud even if the one person listening can only understand a small portion of her words. “I think they would. Or you know, Mommy’s being a paranoid workaholic who has to be _perfect_ all the time.” She adds on, shaking her head at herself

There’s a thud next door then like a heavy object hitting the floor or a cupboard or drawer being slam shut with force.

“Do you think Jeff would do it?” She looks at Milo briefly but he’s too busy making waves in the water, watching one of his plastic boats bobble up and down, filling with bubbles. “No, no, that’s against everything isn’t? Not that you know what I’m talking about but… and it’s a big ask, it’s not just a small favour. I don’t even think he’d be comfortable looking after you for that long. Plus, he let you climb a table the last time I handed you over so… it would be inconsiderate, right? Dropping him on you? It’s not like he has to say yes but he might feel like he has to.”

Milo kicks his legs particularly hard then, splashing water up in the air so it hits the both of them in the face. He giggles and she refrains from doing the same to avoid him being enticed to repeat his actions. And also, because she doesn’t feel like it in the moment. He may not always obey her rules but he still feels too good for her sometimes.

“I’m sorry.” She sighs, resting her hands on the side of the tub to lay her cheek on them.

“Why?” He asks simply, making her shake her head.

“Don’t worry about it.”

“You okay, Mommy?”

“I’m fine sweetie, don’t worry. Are you ready to get out?”

He nods, flicking his wet hair around like a dog.

Once she’s finished towel drying his hair so it’s comfortable to sleep in, she finishes cleaning up dishes in the kitchen and plumps some cushions on the couch before settling into bed early with a book. As much as she can read from the first page to the last in one sitting in some cases, when she lays down against the pillows and places the book on her lap, she can’t seem to turn past the front cover.

She wonders why the bed seems so empty compared to usual, the pillows on the left side untouched, the sheets barely untucked other than where they’ve come loose for her on the right side. It felt empty when _he_ left – the _he_ being Milo’s father whose name she’s blanked out of her mind because it only causes her unnecessary stress to personify him when he could, for all she knows, now be non-existent – but once Milo started kicking inside of her, it distracted her and she didn’t feel so alone. It felt lonely when she could no longer let him sleep beside her and it felt lonely when he started to settle more easily on her own.

And it feels lonely now because perhaps it’s been long enough to start thinking about the place being filled; the pillows being touched, the sheets being untucked. But then she also wonders if maybe this is all derived from her nights spent with Jeff, the moments after where they just lay in each other’s arms, sending her back to when she had that most nights, unknowing of how it would all change. Maybe that’s why everything with Jeff is just underlying nerves; she’s not immediately panicking because there’s too many benefits outweighing the negatives, even though she knows it will come down to nothing in the end.

That’s why she puts the book on her night stand and swaps it for her phone, chewing on her lip before sliding open the messages.

ANNIE: Would it be terrible of me if I were to ever ask you to pick up Milo from daycare?

Next door, not that she knows it, Jeff is propped up against his own pillows, his TV remote in between the indent of his legs on top of his comforter but his hands at his phone. He pouts, _almost_ certain he knows what she’s asking.

JEFF: Terrible is a strong word

ANNIE: Would it be okay of me if I were to ever ask you to pick up Milo from daycare?

JEFF: It would be okay, sure

ANNIE: Would you be able to pick up Milo from daycare tomorrow? :)

JEFF: What would I have 2 do?

ANNIE: Nothing, you don’t have to do anything. You’re not obliged too, obviously.

ANNIE: But you’d have to pick him up and keep an eye on him for 40 minutes max. His daycare are doing a trial run for an earlier pick up time and I can’t make it with work and my babysitter can’t make it. You can say no. Obviously.

JEFF: I’m ur last resort?

ANNIE: Kind of?

JEFF: What time?

ANNIE: 5pm. Please say no if you can’t. I know it’s a big ask.

JEFF: No can do

Although she made it quite clear he was in no position to say yes out of just politeness she can feel herself slouch further into her mattress just a little, defeated.

ANNIE: It’s okay, don’t worry.

JEFF: I’m joking, sure I can do it but I can’t B held responsible for my terrible babysitting skills

She knows if he was sat beside her, she would have slapped him in the chest.

ANNIE: :)

ANNIE: You do have to be held partly responsible but I won’t be mad if you give him too much sugar

JEFF: You totally would, you just wouldn’t tell me

ANNIE: So, are you sure?

JEFF: Yeah just tell me what 2 do + I’ll B there

She’s dumbfounded as she tells him where to go and what he’ll need to do upon arrival, so much so she has to double-check just before she turns off her phone for the night. He’s about to drift off himself, his left hand tucked up under his pillow, his other hand reaching out for his phone again where he’s dropped it somewhere under the covers.

ANNIE: Are you really sure?

The more she asks him the more he starts to question it so he replies as quickly as he can one-handed, kind of wishing he was there with her so he could just look her in the eye and stop her from worrying.

JEFF: Yes now stop interrupting my beauty sleep

ANNIE: Thank you <3

He tries not to think too much about her use of an emoticon heart either; he’s dropped a few kisses here and there in their previous text message conversations so it can’t mean much more. It can’t mean much more that he sends her a photo either; he’s shirtless, leaning against his arm as he takes a grainy, dimly lit photo of him in bed, the right side only slightly untucked.

JEFF: [Picture] Something’s missing

ANNIE: One of those creepy pillows shaped like a person?

JEFF: Exactly

* * *

 

She doesn’t have a second baby seat so he meets her outside in the Greendale parking lot once she’s dropped Milo off at daycare, discreetly tucked behind a bush so that the only people he’s visible to are the drivers passing by the campus. He feels awkward at first and that kind of nervous which fills his whole body with shivering jitters but he tries to conceal it behind crossed over arms and a pair of sunglasses when she finds him.

He almost lets her stop him but it would be rude to let her down at such a late stage. She’s already met where it’s easier for him than her and she’s gone to a great length of listing everything out via a note file on his phone.

“Are you sure this isn’t too much to ask? I just can’t miss work this time and I tried everyone else I know.”

He shrugs whilst she watches him clipping the seat into place which is something he _has_ learned to do since knowing her. When he stands back up, he raises an eyebrow at her amused face before realising that his glasses are lopsided from leaning down and struggling with the straps in his car. He rolls his eyes before cupping his hands over her blazer covered shoulders.

“You do realise the more you try and talk someone out of something the more likely they are to not to do it, right? All I’m gonna’ do is put him in my car and then drive him home. Would you like to see my driver’s license, just in case?”

She looks away shyly, dipping her eyes to his hand on her shoulder, watching it smooth over her before his thumb meets her chin.

“Go before you miss out on work anyway or before I do.”

She bobs her head and turns on her heels back to her car behind her. He stops her once more just as she opens the door.

“Do you trust me?”

She does, which is why she finds it easy to push him and Milo far enough into the depths of her mind so she can have a fully concentrated day of work. Towards the end of the day though she can’t help but un-type and re-type a text message around the time Jeff is supposed to be leaving _his_ work just in case he’s been absorbed into some of the Greendale craziness he’s always going on about.

JEFF: So I just wait outside right?

He beats her to it though just before she gets dragged into sorting out one of the filing cabinets, only leaving her time to send a thumbs up in return.

He plays on his phone for a while in the car because he arrived uncharacteristically early and there are only one or two people standing outside the multi-coloured gates. Clicking around and swiping on pages also distracts him from overthinking again. Susan would probably _love_ to know what he’s doing to scrutinise his decision.

He hopes to lay low, get in and out as quickly as possible and avoid any form of confrontation because picking up Milo in itself is already enough for him to deal with, he doesn’t need anyone to know why he’s there or who he is. He doubts Annie would want anyone to know either especially after what she’s told him about the judgemental ring leader of the ‘Mommy Clique’.

When more cars pull up and surround him, filling up the few spaces out the front, he lowers in his seat, the collar of his jacket covering up the sides of his cheeks where it slouches around his shoulders. He’s decided he’ll make his entrance once a handful of kids have walked out just so he doesn’t have to stand around for too long without doing what he came here for.

A mom stops in front of his car momentarily, zipping up a purse in her hand before tugging on the ankle of her heeled boots, catching his eyes briefly. He takes that as his call to get out, realising that sitting in his car for longer than most people around will end up looking suspicious after a while. He rubs his hands down his face before straightening his shoulders and back, stepping out the car and shutting the door with as much confidence as he can gather, glancing around and noticing that the magnification of his every move and his every motion is only being highlighted in his head.

His surroundings feel smaller in fact, with the gate only hitting his knee in height and the benches he walks past into the courtyard only lifting off the ground by a few inches. There’s a woman sat down on one of them, a clipboard in hand, the image ringing true from Annie’s daycare to-do list. The main door is open so he hangs back, his hands in his pockets as he rocks back on his heels in the corner by a plastic house, shiny but faded from where it’s been sat in the sun.

Standing on the padded rubber floor, he rocks his head from side to side; maybe he likes her. Annie that is. He likes her. He’s doing this because he likes her. And it’s fine because whatever he does for her now is the limit. She wants him in her life as much as he wants her in her life. It’s perfect. Isn’t it?

When Jeff stops staring at the floor he finds Milo in the doorway, waving at him. He’s not smiling, in fact, he looks a bit confused like maybe Jeff’s just there and Annie will be coming out to collect him soon. So, Jeff waves too just in case it entices him forward. It does luckily, just in time for another kid to run past him and jump right into his dad’s arms.

“Where’s Mommy?”

Jeff squats down then so he can attempt to slide Milo’s backpack off his arms where it’s coming loose, sliding his hands through whilst he’s not really concentrating.

“Did your mommy tell you that I’m picking you up today because she has to be a work? Yeah?”

He nods before rubbing his eyes before pointing out a finger to Jeff’s shoulder.

“My bag.”

“This _is_ your bag. I’ll take it because we have to go get in my car, okay?”

“In your car?”

“Yeah you’ve been in it before remember? What do we have to do now though, do we have to sign you out?”

“Yeah.” Milo’s pointed finger changes direction, facing towards where the all-important clipboard is being held.

“Shall I pick you up?” He doesn’t answer, just shoots his hands up into the air and hooks them around Jeff’s neck as he stands, clinging his legs around his waist so he can hang to his side.

Jeff’s still blurring everything out around him so much so that he almost trips over, making him stand tall momentarily to gain his balance, his grip on Milo tightening.

“Hi, I’ve, uh, come to sign out Milo?”

The woman looks up at him, smiling briefly before scanning the piece of paper clipped between her hands.

“Are you Mr Winger? Annie mentioned you this morning.”

“Yeah, that’s me.”

“Okay could I have your ID please?”

Trying not to drop Milo or his backpack, Jeff squeezes his hand into his back pocket and finds his driver’s license which he’d put ready. He understands why he has to show it, just being a stranger to everyone there. Even Milo wasn’t about to readily climb into his arms without prompting.

“Okay great, thank you. Should I keep your details or is it just like a one-time thing?”

He says yes, just in case.

* * *

 

Milo’s quiet most of the journey back to the apartment block. He doesn’t put up any fuss when Jeff has to reach over him and tug on his seat straps or when the car door slams a little too hard out of habit, he just comfortably sits in the back, diagonally behind Jeff so he can see him in the rear-view mirror. He doesn’t comment on the radio that automatically turns on either, in fact Jeff’s sure he heard humming coming from over his shoulder at one point. It all goes surprisingly easy. There isn’t a single tear or a single screech of annoyance and for a split-second Jeff briefly contemplates offering up his services again. He changes his mind once he realises that might give off the wrong impression.

“So, what do you wanna’ do?” Jeff asks, leaning against his kitchen counter as Milo walks around in the living room, pausing to trail his eyes over the corners of the ceiling. “Should I put on a cartoon? Do you want a drink?”

“Hmm… chocolate milk!” He spins around and holds his hands in his face and Jeff has to bite his lip and try not to grin too widely at his adorable request.

“Chocolate milk? What about some juice? I think your mommy would much prefer you to drink some juice.”

“I don’t want juice, I had juice at school!”

Jeff sighs, succumbing. It must be a skill you have to work on and perfect, not giving into the wide eyes and tiny voice.

“Okay chocolate milk but if your mommy gets mad, that’s on _you,_ okay?”

“Okay.”

“Okay.” Jeff bobs his head and turns his back to open up and search a cupboard for some chocolate powder and some form of cup that isn’t going to easily break if Milo drops it.

“I’m sitting _here._ ”

Milo has dropped triumphantly to a spot on the carpet to the side of Jeff’s coffee table, his legs crossed and one of his toys from his backpack perched in his lap.

“Good job… keep on sitting…” Jeff adds on mindlessly whilst stirring a spoon into a red cup he found in the back corner of a cupboard under the sink. Annie would probably have something to say or question why he didn’t just empty and rinse out Milo’s sippy cup but the milk has already been poured so there’s no turning back.

“Okay buddy, here you go. Do you want to sit on the couch with it so you don’t spill it on the carpet?”

He nods without answering verbally, standing and launching himself onto the couch cushions, pulling himself up little by little.

“Do you wanna’ watch some TV?” He nods again as he makes himself more comfortable, sitting up straight before reaching out with his hands to carefully take the red cup from Jeff’s own, taking a sip immediately, humming in satisifcation.

Jeff joins him after finding a suitable channel, slouching down with his legs apart. Watching Milo, he smiles in amusement at their size difference; Milo’s feet barely hanging off the edge of couch, Jeff’s toes skimming the edge of the coffee table.

“I’m done!” The red cup is empty, dangling in Milo’s hand after some serious speed-drinking, the cup dry except from a couple of lingering drops of milk.

“That was fast. Do you need me to burb you or something?” Milo crosses his head so much that his hair is just a blur of movement until he stills himself, holding onto the arm of the couch like it’s made him dizzy.

They sit in silence for a while then because Milo seems content and Jeff’s unsure of how to get a conversation flowing with him when it doesn’t involve food or his mom. When the kid’s safari show breaks for a commercial, Milo yawns and slumps to one side, letting his whole body fall and lean so much that his head tucks into the side of Jeff, across the crease of his elbow so he’s resting against his torso and his hip.

“You okay there, buddy?”

“Yeah.”

Before his arm has the chance to go numb, Jeff pulls it out from underneath Milo and in one swift motion, holds him with both hands and tugs him into his lap before manoeuvring them both so that they’re facing the door to Jeff’s bedroom, Jeff’s legs kicked out with Milo’s in-between. The TV is still in the perfect position for viewing and Milo doesn’t protest so it ends up being a good idea.

As much as Jeff can watch Planet Earth over and over again and still be somewhat interested, the overly enthusiastic comments from the presenters and guests make him want to tune out and focus on something less overpowering, leading him to swipe through his Twitter feed on the account he hasn’t used in over three years. Most of the accounts he follows are designer brands and labels displaying their latest offers; there’s a Burberry bomber jacket he likes the look of because he’s started to believe he could pull one off, so he likes the tweet and saves a link for later.

“What’s that?”

“My phone.”

A tiny finger jabs out then, closing Twitter and sending Jeff back to the homepage with no warning. Jeff tilts his head and looks at Milo from the side, holding his phone over the back of the couch, out of reach. Jeff gasps in faux outrage, waiting for Milo’s giggling reaction.

“Did you just touch my phone?”

“NooOoOo...!”

“No? Because someone did and nobody else is here but you and me.”

“I didn’t!”

“You _didn’t?”_

“No!”

“Hmm… alright then. Do you want to do some colouring on it?”

Milo scratches his hair and yawns before nodding and watching Jeff bring his phone out again, swiping to a notes page so Milo can swipe his finger across the screen more freely.

“If you want to change the colour just tell me and I’ll do it for you.”

Jeff watches over his head as he swipes and draws green lines in irregular patterns, going over the same spot several times before making a swirl and accidentally changing the colour to orange on his own accord. It’s soothing just lying there, Milo’s shoulders slowly easing up and down against him as he breathes. After a while Jeff’s hand ends up in his hair, smoothing down the shorter pieces at the back, running his fringe up in the air with his fingers.

It must be soothing for him too because he drops his hands from Jeff’s phone and points out his elbows in a stretch, rubbing his eyes simultaneously.

“Are you tired?”

“I want Mommy.”

“Yeah, I know, she’ll be here soon. She just had to do some work.”

He yawns again but it doesn’t stop Jeff from talking. It’s almost as if knowing Milo won’t understand to a full extent makes it easier to just let things flow from his mind to his mouth, letting his thoughts out even if he hasn’t filtered anything through.

“My mom had to work too. When you’re on your own you have to work a lot, doing it all by yourself.”

Milo’s eyes are drifting open and closed as Jeff’s hand continues to make a path through his hair, so he’s really not listening enough now to pay attention to the fact that what Jeff is saying is more than just truth or fact; it’s a realisation.

“You’ll be grateful for it one day.”

And of course, because his mind is on his own relationship with his mom, he starts to wonder if that day ever came for him, or if it did, did she ever come to understand the truth of it? Did he really ever show her that she meant more to him than just paying off bills and debts? Does she know that he understands it now? That growing up and learning that life isn’t as easy as it looks from a smaller, younger, less-knowledgeable perspective has opened his eyes and in some way, filled him with guilt that he never _did_ thank her?

He leans forward and rests his chin on Milo’s head, rubbing his nose against his hair before pressing a kiss against him out of instinct before lifting it again at a knock at the door.

“It’s open!”

“What?” Milo jolts up at Jeff calling up, huffing out air at the disturbance.

“I think your mommy is home.”

“Mommy?!” He sits up completely, resting a hand on Jeff’s thigh so he can watch the door open. Jeff can tell when she enters the room just by how his face lights up, his chin going straight up in the air with his tongue poking out.

“Aw, hey sweetie. I’m so sorry I couldn’t pick you up. Are you okay?”

Jeff adjusts them on the couch slightly so that he’s pushed up against the back so there’s more room for Milo sit up and give Annie a hug when she draws closer.

“I did colouring!”

“You did _colouring?_   Wow!” Her eyes widen comically before landing on Jeff, softening as an apology.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t pick him up.”

“It’s fine, it’s actually been surprisingly easy. He hasn’t complained once.”

She smiles and he smiles back but her attention is back on Milo once again.

“Did you do colouring at school?”

“It’s a digital masterpiece.” Jeff’s one step ahead, holding his phone out when Milo shakes his head. Annie laughs and rolls her eyes, bobbing her head at the orange and green scribbles.

“And I had chocolate milk!”

“I tried to make him have juice but he didn’t want it.”

She shakes her head like it’s nothing, bending down so she can pull Milo into a hug, talking over his shoulder.

“It’s okay, it’s mainly milk so it’s fine.”

Jeff glances away then, leaving them to reunite, perched beside him.

“I missed you so much, it was weird not picking you up. Did you have a good time with Jeff?” She pulls away just in time for Milo to nod and fling his neck back up into her face, scrambling away so he can fling himself just as powerfully down onto an unexpecting Jeff.

“Woah there.”

“Congratulations, it seems as if your first babysitting gig went well.”

“Thanks. I’ll take fifteen dollars and enough for the bus home.”

She smirks at him before standing up again.

“I’m bursting… can I use your bathroom and then we’ll leave you be?”

Jeff doesn’t even answer because he’s too distracted by Milo tugging on the fabric of his shirt, laughing deliriously whenever it pings back to Jeff’s chest.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing.”

“Are you tired laughing?”

“I’m hungry.”

“You’re tired _and_ hungry? Oh my _god._ ”

When Annie returns from the bathroom she hovers at the end of the couch, feeling as if she’s disturbing them which leaves her a little on edge. Not an irritated-on-edge, or a nervous-on-edge; a literal on edge, like Jeff’s broken a barrier and he’s verging on becoming someone new to Milo. It doesn’t concern her though, so when Jeff gestures her to join him, she does.

“There’s room for three.”

She perches on the edge before lying on her side, feeling stiff in her blazer and pants as she folds up her knees to stop herself from falling back. Milo’s clasping his hands around her neck as she balances herself, tugging her further onto the couch in fact, before planting a hard kiss on her forehead.

“Mommy, a kiss and _Jeff_ a kiss.”

Before he knows it too, Milo’s pursing his lips against his cheek with force, making Jeff’s eyes scrunch up with the impact. He raises an eyebrow at Annie who just shrugs because she’s used to it; random bursts of sweetness and affection. What she’s not used to though is Milo ordering other people to join in too.

“Mommy and Jeff kiss!”

When they lock eyes, Jeff can see her lips starting to part for a different reason, to stop him he presumes. It’s not as if he needs to kiss her now; there’s nobody needing to feel better or any tension needing to be resolved and for all the possible ways for Milo to see them interact more intimately, he’s not sure what would be worse for her – being put on the spot or being caught in the act.

If time feels the same to Milo as it does to them in that precise moment then it must feel extraordinarily slow, watching on like that. But then Jeff’s expression falters and quirks and Annie gives in and lets him press his lips against hers, soft and sweet and only for a short amount of time.

It feels like a first kiss; innocent, gentle, slow and warm, full of questions ready to be answered. Jeff pulls away, respecting Annie’s rules even though they’ve now been broken and waits for Milo’s reaction only for him to be mesmerised by the TV that is still on in the background. When he catches a glimpse of Annie again, they both end up smiling at each other sheepishly until Jeff’s eyes drop to her lips again and they’re leaning forward to close the gap once more.

Their lips barely touch as Milo’s attention returns to them, his hands slamming down, one on each of their chests. When they turn to watch him, their noses brush against each other, leaving their cheeks pressed up close from where neither of them have decided to lean back or out of the situation.

“Mommy, can we go home now?”

She nods, not glancing Jeff’s way before leaning forward to pull Milo into a hug to pick him up. Jeff waits a beat, standing up once they’ve moved from the couch to near the doorway. He doesn’t want her to leave after that, have it brushed away without taking it further. It’s not as if he doesn’t know what it feels like to _have_ it lead further. That’s exactly it; he’ll know he’ll be craving her all night and all week or for however long their apart.

When he follows her out the door, she turns her head over her Milo-free shoulder and drops her eyes down the length of him with a confused frown on her face.

“Can I come and say good evening?” He asks, hesitating before stepping forward again once she’s nodding.

When she unlocks her door, he hovers back as Milo jumps down from her arms and stands around by her feet. She bites her lip before facing Jeff behind her, mirroring his pose accidentally, her hands in her back pockets.

“I have to make his dinner and then I’ll be putting him to bed so, do you mind saying good night, now?”

“Yeah, sure.” He leans forward, lowering to her height to make his motive obvious but then she ducks.

“Just because of…” She jolts her head backwards in the general direction of Milo, “…doesn’t mean…”

“Right, yeah, um… can I ask you something though?”

She waits patiently, expecting him to ask when she’s free next or when Shirley can look after Milo or if he can be excused from any other future babysitting opportunities because he was lying and it was terrible and he really never wants to do it again; fair enough, she thinks.

“Do you want… do you wanna’… can I get you dinner some time?”

He doesn’t get chance to register her response because when he opens his eyes from blinking, she’s facing Milo because he’s started to get irritated and frustrated over not being fed. She must distract him momentarily though because she’s standing up straight to answer him properly.

“You want to take me for dinner?”

“Yeah, we can still keep it casual I just thought that maybe…” His eyes dart towards Milo and she must pick up on it because she rolls her eyes and laughs under her breath, “…seeing as he’s given us his blessing.”

“I think Milo just likes everyone to be enjoying the fun, I don’t think I’m going to take that as some sort of bl-.”

“You know also, you kind of just deserve dinner.”

Her back straightens then, being caught mid-defensive reel of reasons why something _shouldn’t_ happen or be taken for what it is.

“Come on, just one night sometime soon. You know how much I like to keep it casual.” He raises an eyebrow pointedly and she gives in, sighing and letting her shoulders drop, the fight in her dying out.

“…One night but one night only. You’re driving me _and_ you’re paying.”

“Uh, yeah, duh I’m paying, I’m the one who offered.”

A smile reaches her eyes and tugs on her lip as she bashfully looks down at her hands, toying with her fingers. Jeff stares out at where Milo is wondering around the living room, mumbling the words ‘I’m hungry’ to nobody in particular, repeatedly.

One of Jeff’s hands skims under her blazer, tugging her towards him with no warning. She reaches up naturally, holding a hand to the back of his neck so she can balance herself and nip at his bottom lip, responding.

Before she has chance to step down and glare at him in irritation, he rubs his nose against hers, holding her in place.

“He wasn’t looking.”

* * *

 

“Wait, so, I’m your dirty little secret?”

The question is prompted when the front door to Annie’s apartment clicks close after she’d hushed Jeff quiet and waved him back flush against the wall. She rolls her eyes at him before he leads the way, his arm open to her to wrap her hand around.

“You’re not my _dirty_ little _secret._ I just still haven’t told anybody yet because… well, nobody needs to know. It’s none of their business. I’d obviously tell them if we were seriously dating but we’re not, are we?”

He shrugs a shoulder and shakes his head as they wait for the elevator to reach their floor.

“I could totally play along with the secret fancy, though.”

“Ugh, Jeff.” She swats him as the doors open so she catches his satisfied grin. She ends up smiling herself because he’s shaved for the first time since she’s known him and it’s nice to see all of the lines and dimples when he does.

“So, where exactly are we going again?”

He waits until he’s facing her so he can drop his eyes to her, smouldering. She feels giddy in the moment, all of the attention on her in a different sense of the word so when he finds her hands, she squeezes his back and leans up to match his smile.

“Nowhere fancy, just somewhere with I don’t know… actual cloth napkins, a choice of cutlery that is laid out for each course and wine that is nowhere near in the range of my teacher’s salary.”

They meet in the middle for a kiss but when Jeff feels the elevator slowing, his stomach dropping with the change of speed, he pulls back and eyes the emergency stop button.

“Sure you don’t want me to, uh… live up to another fantasy too?”

“You should be careful otherwise you won’t be living up to any.”

For most of the car journey to the restaurant, they’re either listening to the music on the radio or _talking_ about the music on the radio or they’re stopped at a light and she’s resting on his shoulder, leaning out from her passenger seat, slightly.

It’s when he first feels it; the tightening in his chest as he glances down at her, illuminated by the red glow above them. It must be the car stopped stationary that makes everything slow down when he pouts against the crown of her hair. She’s humming the final notes of the last song that played and toying with the hem of her skirt. When she pulls away as the light turns green, he has to rub his chin against the shoulder of his shirt where she’d been leaning.

It’s a different sensation next time. It’s lighter and she’s laughing and she’s drawing a hefty chuckle out of him too from across the table.

He can’t be blamed for the candle between them or the somewhat romantic setting; he’d just booked the table, he hadn’t requested specific decoration. This was still all casual. The drill was the same – he’d take her home and he’d distract her and she’d distract him and that feeling? It would soon be replaced by something else.

When they leave, buzzed from wine and good food that Annie could barely fit in, they don’t even wait to get into his apartment. His shirt is untucked and his top buttons and tie are undone along with his loosened belt by the time they’ve reached their floor. Fortunately, their floor is generally deserted so Annie can reach up and trail kisses down his neck for longer, pressed up against the opposite wall she’d tucked him behind earlier in the evening.

He’s at a point where his hands are dangerously close to leading themselves beneath her skirt when she pulls back and drops to her feet, leaving his bottom lip dragging against her forehead. His face is full of concern as questions and thoughts and ideas and worst case scenarios flood his mind and imagination of what he possibly could have done this time but then her eyes close and she’s holding a finger up in the air as if to focus herself and it all becomes clear.

“I should…”

He nods, the crying getting louder.

“…you could, come in once I say goodnight to Shirley?”

The question perks his interest making him nod a little quicker this time.

“When she comes out maybe just, act like you’re opening up your door?”

“And you say I’m _not_ your dirty little secret?”

“I just don’t want to have to deal with that tonight, okay?”

So, he waits, slouching against his door, the crying momentarily clearer as she steps through her door and leaves her alone. When he stares at the floor he takes note of his shirt and tucks it back in scrappily before his eyes land on the spot below his shoulder. He laughs to himself because there’s one of her hairs poking out from beneath his suit jacket; he wonders if she’d left it there in the car or when she’d leaned on him outside of the restaurant. Or if she’ll ever let him take her out again. Or why he wants to, exactly.

“Okay, so, I’ll see you soon and I’ll bring Ben?”

He straightens himself out and turns his back to the hallway when the woman, _Shirley,_ stands outside the door, talking to Annie with a quiet voice. Annie must respond from behind the door because she doesn’t utter another word, she just turns, leaving him unnoticed as she heads for the elevator. She expects Annie would appreciate him waiting her out, so he fiddles with the door handle until the coast is clear.

He knocks her door once it is, standing back until she’s ready to open it. When she does, her hair has been tied up in a bun since she left him for Milo and she’s back to her natural height without heels.

“I probably won’t be too long, I just have to try and get him back to sleep. I think he had a bad dream.” She wrinkles her nose and grits her teeth, “You’re welcome to come in but I get it if you want to call it a night. Thanks though, it was really nice.”

“Sounds good to me.” Her expectance of him wanting to leave fails upon her, leaving her to step aside and make himself comfortable as she excuses herself and continues to comfort Milo. He can hear her through his open bedroom door, whispering and slowly singing a tune he doesn’t recognise.

He isn’t sure how long she’s going to be so he goes from picking his nails to twirling his phone around to staring up at the ceiling at the dark shadows of the room. He must be so out of it that he doesn’t notice her leave Milo and slip into her own room briefly which explains why when he looks up at her at the edge of the couch, she’s changed out of her dress into a slip hemmed with lace. He drops his voice with a deep gulp.

“What was that about not living up to any fantasies?”

She bites her lip, hooking a finger in the bow which is tied at the V dipping down across her chest.

“Do you like it? I thought it might make up for having to wait.”

“If this is what waiting gets me, I’ll wait as long as you want.”

She rounds the end of the couch, padding across the carpet and trailing a finger up his leg where he’s laid back against the cushions. She dips down and he pulls her to his mouth with his fists in her hair before holding himself back as her hands go to his tie.

“Wait, we’re in _your_ apartment.”

The realisation hits her too, briefly.

“We’ll just have to take it slow and steady then?”

He can’t be blamed for the setting in her living room either; the lights are down for the evening, making her skin glow golden, with the peace and silence only being down to the fact that Milo is in the other room.

He tries not to think about his chest again although it’s practically impossible when she starts teasing her nails over it and when she’s hugging him close with her hand slung across him when they’re spread across her bed in the dark.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise that if there is a longer than one week gap after this chapter. This is the final chapter I have already written and I am currently quite busy IRL with deadlines etc so keep updated with me on harryspaceshipmchale on Tumblr. Fingers crossed I get something down before that though!


	12. It's Just Hard Sometimes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Honestly, I think I just need some time alone. But, I promise I’ll lift my spirits because… I am thankful for you guys today after all.”

  
At first, reaching out with his palm and finding nothing but smooth soft fabric doesn’t concern him. He’s used to it; his bed is mostly empty and its big enough that all he’ll find is his silk blend sheets until the edge of the mattress. It’s just that when he peels open his eyes, squinting to adjust to the light, he finds himself lying under the sheets of an unfamiliar bed. Fortunately, the amount of alcohol he consumed the night before wasn’t enough to fog up his memory so it soon becomes clear as to why the sheets he finds are pale pink and why there’s a cardigan hanging up on the wardrobe towards the foot of the bed; it belongs to Annie.

His ability to remember the events and reasons as to why he’s in his bed isn’t what causes concern though; what causes concern is why Annie is no longer with him in it, and why she let him stay until whatever early hour it is in the morning. He closes his eyes to try and only focus on the sounds and noises of the apartment, figuring out if she’s just popped to the bathroom or abandoned him completely.

Milo is the one to reveal her location though, sending a screech of happiness from the living room. That’s when he notices that the bedroom door is open slightly, enough to let some extra light in and for him to see a slither of the kitchen area where he can just about make out Annie’s figure walking past every now and then, as she makes what he presumes is Milo’s breakfast.

He closes his eyes again, resting on the side of his head on a pillow, listening.

“Milo… no, we’re having some eggs this morning.”

“Can we have banana?”

“I might be able to find you one if you eat all of your buttery toast, okay?”

“Okay, Mommy but I can’t promise I’ll eat it all.”

Jeff imagines Annie rolling her eyes with her back to him.

“Just try your best.”

Jeff ends up watching them for a while through the opening of the door. He can’t see much, just the back of Milo’s head where he’s sat in his highchair and half of Annie’s face where she’s sat opposite him. Occasionally Annie will look his way but he expects it just looks like he’s sleeping at a distance, only part of him visible at the right angle.

“Are we going to the park today?” Milo asks, tilting his head with a piece of toast in his hand.

“Maybe… but I think we need to go shopping and I might take you to the library so we can get some new books to read.”

Milo’s head tilts the opposite direction in a snap.

“Are you sure?”

“Am I sure it’s a maybe to the park? Yes, I’m sure, now, eat up.”

When Jeff nuzzles into the pillow to rub his face, trying to wake himself up some more he realises he’s smiling so he shakes it away to focus himself. He stretches out with his elbows up behind his head before searching the room, his eyes falling on his clothes which have been scattered in different places.

Eventually, once he’s up, he tip-toes around the room, pulling on his pants and his white vest, leaving his shirt and suit on the back of the chair in the corner of the room. He freshens up in the bathroom, splashing his face with water and running his fingers through his hair. He shaved for dinner which had surprised her so he’s rocking some stubble now, he notices as he prepares himself in front of her mirror.

He’s not sure how to go about leaving or whether she even wants him to leave. It’s not like she made it easy for him or as if she left a note on the nightstand, instructing him on how to leave without Milo noticing. That wouldn’t seem out of character for her though so he checks it just in case but his suspicions were correct so he goes to the door instead.

He barely opens it, just enough for him to poke his toe out and clasp his fingers around the edge but it’s enough to catch Annie’s attention. At first, he’s relieved that she’s acknowledging he’s awake but then he’s being shooed away again like he was with Shirley the night before and he slumps against the wall, the door back to only letting in a slither of sound and light.

“Milo, do you think you can play in your room for a bit? I’ll put the gate across the door and I’ll just go and get ready in my room, okay?”

Jeff can hear an exaggerated sigh which makes him raise an eyebrow and smile despite himself.

He must agree though because a click echoes behind the wall and all of a sudden, the door is opening out onto his toe.

“Oh, sorry!” Annie gasps at herself, lowering her voice to a whisper, _“Sorry… and sorry for making you wait. I just didn’t want him seeing and… you know.”_

He shrugs, accepting it before realising she’s risen on her toes and her hands are at home on his shoulders, her thumbs stroking over them.

“What are you doing?” His voice is low enough that it’s almost a whisper but it’s deeper and rougher and it makes her smooth her hands around to the back of his neck.

“Letting you go gently.”

“Ah.”

“I have a lot to do today so…”

“Got it.”

He goes to kiss her as she starts to talk again so his lips end up on her hairline instead until he nudges his nose down the bridge of her own.

“Thanks for last night. It was nice to do something different.”

“Of course.”

She slumps back down to the ground then which makes his brow furrow and his hand go to her hip instinctively as to stop her from moving any further away.

“Still casual though.” Jeff’s not sure if she’s asking a question or stating a fact so he just shrugs, again.

“It might make things easier though, you know, if I can stay over here sometimes.”

She rises back up to his height again before finally kissing him on the lips, just popping against his own briefly.

“Maybe.”

Milo calls out from the other room as Jeff tilts himself down to tuck himself around her neck, so she hops back and taps on his shoulders.

“Now get your things and let me distract Milo so you can leave.”

He watches her unplug her phone from the side of the bed, conscious of the pout on his face.

“I didn’t realise you wanted me out of your hair so quickly.”

As she leaves the room, she cups her hand against his cheek so he can kiss the inside of her wrist.

“I’m usually out of yours in under ten minutes.”

It’s a fair point so he follows her instructions and dashes through the living room as she sorts through toys with Milo in his bedroom. He stops in the door way though, stood on the outside looking in. He’s at a better angle to see into Milo’s room. Annie’s sat on the floor with her legs crossed and her hair scraped back into a messy pony tail with a smile plastered across her face, and the feeling is still there; that burning warmth inside of him.

“Are we going to see Troy and Abed?” Milo asks sweetly, leaving his tongue pursed between his lips.

“Maybe. It is Thanksgiving coming up so we could plan to see them.”

“Yeah…”

The mention of Thanksgiving reminds him of his birthday and how it’s more than likely that the aching feeling is just his body and mind reminding him that he’s almost half-way through his life and he still hasn’t accomplished or experienced anything of value or greatness. Annie has and she’s barely lived a quarter of hers. He presumes the constant dull ticking will one day stop. Maybe he’ll take the initiative to get rid of it completely or maybe something else will.

* * *

 

“Troy and Abed have been asking about you.”

“They have?”

Annie nods, not looking up from where she’s pushing the stroller ahead of them down the sidewalk. It’s sunny but it’s well into November now so they’re all bundled up in coats and jackets to keep the sharp mountain winds off of them; the all being Jeff, Annie, and Milo asleep in the front of the stroller which is rolling over leaves.

“They were wondering what you’re doing for Thanksgiving because we usually have a little get together at their apartment. Abed’s thinking of inviting this girl he’s met called Rachel so I’m pretty sure he’s only asking because he wants us to couple up or something. Not that… you know, he knows about us or anything. But sometimes you can just tell.”

“I think I already said, I have to go down to my mom’s house for the weekend.”

“I know, it’s fine, I just wouldn’t be surprised if he starts pestering you directly in an attempt to sway you.”

“I can handle it, I’ll just tell him that we’re already sleeping together and I’ll most likely spend each evening whilst I’m away sexting you in my mom’s guest room.”

Annie doesn’t stop walking but she makes a show of tilting her head over her shoulder to glare at him for a long moment. He grins and raises his hands in defence before catching up with her in two long strides so he can crowd her from behind and talk into her ear which is concealed by her loose hair, tucked into her coat collar to keep her extra protected from the cold.

“I won’t tell them but that you have to agree that plan sounds pretty good.”

She turns her head and all of a sudden, his lips are temptingly close to her jaw and every part of her that he could set a light and leave her smiling from afterwards. He must have the same idea because he leans in, stopping her from moving any further, one hand still on the stroller held out to one side.

Kissing him fully clothed and with no doors to keep them hidden is new and it never lasts long. Just a quick lean in here and there, a hand around the waist, a few fingers cupped under her chin. It’s not that she doesn’t _want_ it to last longer. It’s not that she doesn’t _want_ him to carry on pushing it further, it’s just that all the smaller moments tend to add up to something greater and she’d rather be able to manage and define what that means herself rather than wait for it, so she leaves it for the bedroom, when nobody can know and nothing else can alter the outcome.

Which is why she pulls away when he starts to kiss her slowly and deeply with his nose nudging against hers.

“What are you doing?”

He pouts and smirks and frowns in confusion all at the same time, almost amused that she’s questioning him.

“What do you _think_ I’m doing?”

She drops her feet down so she’s not raised up on her tippy toes anymore, letting it go. He beams a smile even wider, letting his hand fall from her neck to lift up her chin with just a single fingertip. Her own smile blooms as her eyes close and he finishes off what he started, giving her one last kiss before dropping his hands and letting her continue to walk.

When they get back to the apartment block, Jeff leaves her be for the rest of the day. They’d spent the afternoon at the park, spontaneously going out together because they both realised they were sat at home doing nothing more than thinking about one another, which for Annie is as frustrating as a song that won’t get out of her head. She knows she isn’t being paranoid or getting distracted with him to ignore anything else going on in her life because Jeff’s been _different_ lately.

Ever since their date and ever since he slept over he’s been around more. He’s been playing with Milo in the living room as she’s caught up on admin and usual household chores; he’s been over with coffee during Milo’s nap time and has joined her on the couch. He’s been in her shower and he’s walked out and back in so Milo doesn’t suspect anything at breakfast. He’s cooked her dinner and he’s let her fall asleep in the back of a cab on his shoulder, waking her up just before they arrived.

But he also still compartmentalises things; he doesn’t let Milo see him be affectionate. He doesn’t try and help her out when Milo’s crying or testing her patience. He sits on the side lines.

Which is perhaps why she forgets his birthday until it appears under the list of birthday’s being celebrated today on Facebook. She knew it was coming up soon, she’d just never got around to asking him exactly when it was and the fact that he _has_ been treading carefully means it never felt like an occasion to get too caught up in. Plus, he never brought it up after he first mentioned it back in his kitchen, whilst he was chopping fruit and well, dropping to his knees for other reasons, so it just didn’t seem necessary, even if she is the kind of person to have everything planned and arranged.

She knocks on his door in a hurry, looking over her shoulder at her slightly opened apartment door every few seconds, flustered. When he opens the door, he almost looks sleepy; dazed and confused and like her presence is completely of surprise, which when Annie comes to think of it – it is. She didn’t even mention his birthday in their morning texts.

“What are you doing here?”

“Being a crappy friend for forgetting your birthday?”

He rolls his eyes dramatically before letting out a groan of annoyance.

“Ugh, and here I thought you were coming over for a surprise booty call _without_ throwing my birthday into the mix.”

“It’s not a booty call… but, you don’t like your birthday?”

He tilts back his head and screws up his eyebrows like it’s obvious.

“At this age? No! That’s why I spent most of today moping about in my underwear drinking beer. If another year of my time is up, I may as well waste it how I want to rather than make some big deal out of it.”

She bites her lip and looks to the ground, feeling partly sorry for him that he has that outlook and partly relieved that _he_ does, so in the end, she didn’t have to worry anyway.

“What are you doing risking leaving Milo, anyway?”

Annie follows his eyeline to her door, still how she left it.

“He’s asleep and I trust that if you saw somebody go in behind me, that you’d run in after them.”

She watches him nod his head forwards, his smile turned upside down in an agreeable expression.

“…And… I wanted to give you this. It’s what I do when I need a last-minute gift because I’m an exploitive mother.” She smiles jokingly before bringing her right hand around from where she’s been holding it behind her back. Jeff frowns in confusion before taking the folded-up paper from her hands, squinting to look at more closely. There are faded brush strokes and watery marks of pastel paint dropped across the front page, as well as dripped inside as he opens it up. The main message of birthday wishes is written in neat, easy to read writing compared to the second half which is a bunch of lines and dots.

“Milo did the painting and signed it. He did several different versions but this was his favourite. He said apparently you like the colour blue.”

He bobs his head before tugging on his t-shirt with two fingers.

“I _do_ like the colour blue.”

She’s looking away when she responds, her grin pulled into a thin line and her cheeks rosy with a blush.

“I’m glad.”

Seeing her flustered and unsure is what makes him smile more than anything else so he goes in for a kiss, capturing her in surprise as she’s still turned away from him. Her hips jump forward against him as he holds a hand the small of her back, his lips still moving against hers; Milo’s painting still clasped between his fingers.

When he pulls away he’s smiling right in her face, filling up her view with simply Jeff. The lines around his eyes are creased and he looks genuinely happy, so much so that she has to swallow back the rush of heat in her throat and smile herself so that she doesn’t start crying.

She doesn’t think she’s ever seen him this happy. It doesn’t mean he never has been because she hasn’t been in his life long enough to know it but the expression on his face is something she’s never seen on him before. It drowns out all of those previous smiles, smirks and tiny quirks of his face into something incomparable as if everything before was just an act. The thing is though, she’s seen him with his guard down, or at least she thinks he has, so what part of him is that she doesn’t know yet and has only just discovered?

Luckily, he speaks again, so she can shake it all away in another false laugh.

“That’s all I needed.”

“Oh great, now I feel even more stupid.”

“The painting made it better.”  
She lets out a sigh and steps backwards slightly.

“I should go.”

“Yeah, you should. For those ten seconds of kissing you, I have no idea if someone’s in your apartment right now.”

“Oh great.”

He bites his lip and waits in his doorway as she pulls away, turning towards her door. She can still sense him watching him so she checks back and lets him win her over. She stretches across the hallway and tugs on his right hand, Milo’s painting dropping inside of his apartment so he can pull the door closed.

When they’re inside her apartment, she pushes him up against the door and holds her hands around his neck to tug his mouth over hers.

“I didn’t ask for this.”

“Yeah, well shut up then.”

* * *

 

“So, is Jeff going to show?”

“I’ve already told you Abed, he’s not coming. If you want to hang out with him, you have to do it on your own time.”

“Didn’t you want us to all hang out together with Milo?”

“I was just throwing an idea out there it doesn’t mean I’m begging you to do it.”

Abed drops the plastic brick he’s holding to the floor, leaving it to be taken up by Milo’s grabbing hands.

“Are you in a bad mood?”

Annie stops inspecting her fingernails to brush a hand down her face.

“No Abed, I’m not in a bad mood.”

“Yeahhh… she’s in a bad mood.” Troy wipes his hands from pastry dust from where he’s been picking at the food in the kitchen before joining the conversation in the living room.

“I’m not in a bad mood Troy, maybe I’m just tired from looking after a three-year-old every day of my life or _maybe_ I’m just tired from all of the _questions_ all the time.”

“Are you in a bad mood because Jeff’s not here?”

Annie takes a deep breath as Troy and Abed watch her closely, her hands going up to her face again so she can pinch the bridge of her nose.

“Honestly, I think I just need some time alone. But, I promise I’ll lift my spirits because… I am thankful for you guys today after all.”

Rachel arrives then and all of the attention goes to focusing on her, including Annie’s as she watches Abed kiss her on the lips as she enters the apartment. She’s nice and funny and she suits Abed perfectly and the fact that Troy seems to get on with her without any signs of jealousy or feelings of abandonment is a sure sign that she’ll probably be around for a while.

Milo interacts with her like he does with all new people, a little disconnected and always within reach of Annie’s hand.

They eat everything because there’s an extra person to use up the left-overs on and they all sit quietly and patiently as Milo tries to think of something he’s thankful for. He leans out on the edge of his chair so he can conceal half of his face behind Annie’s shoulder in shyness.

“I’m… thankful for… Mommy…” Everyone smiles around the table as he clings on to her a little closer, “…and… my toys!”

Annie ruffles his hair as he sits up and swings his feet from where they’re hanging over his chair.

“Not Uncle Troy? Are you not grateful for me Milo? I don’t know how to feel right now…” Troy adds on jokingly, pulling a giggle out of him.

Later on, before they leave, Milo stands out of Troy’s hug and points a finger outwards, hiding his face as soon as he’s spoken.

“I’m grateful for _you._ ”

* * *

 

He’s wiping his hands across his thighs as he comes out from the bathroom, expecting to see dessert on the table or at least his mom busying herself by the oven. Instead, he walks out and finds her standing over his chair, her glasses on as she leans forward to peer at his phone that’s lit itself up with a notification.

“Found something interesting?”

It’s clear they’re related by how she reacts. She crosses her arms over and stands up, brushing a hand through her hair.

“Oh no, your, well, your phone buzzed a couple of times sweetie, that’s all.”

“That’s how phones work, Mom.”

“Oh, don’t you start. If I’m not going to find out these things through you then at least let me find them out through your phone.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s called an invasion of privacy and all you’re going to find is a notification for the news.”

“Do you get the news from someone called Annie, then?”

Jeff’s eyebrows shoot up as he tilts his head, blowing his cover almost immediately.

She rounds the end of the table and hands him the phone, the screen now black. She taps him on the shoulder a little condescendingly before walking over to the kitchen.

“You know I only want to be a part of your life.”

“I know.” He sighs, before swinging his legs out behind her to follow. He waits until she’s opening the oven, attempting to drown out what he says next with the steam and whirring of what’s going on inside.

“It’s just hard sometimes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bear with me on the chapters now, okay?


	13. Don't

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s not that she’s been actively avoiding him, well, not completely, it’s just that right now, she’s not sure she’s in the right frame of mind to keep seeing him so frivolously, as if there aren’t any consequences at all. Especially not with Christmas and Hanukah and New Year around the corner, that would just be unfair to herself, to fake some sort of happiness with him, or create happiness which is only fleeting.

Jeff persuades her to come over for the evening of her birthday. They’ve only seen each other a handful of times since before Thanksgiving, partly because of work but also because of how Annie’s been feeling as of late. It’s a weird concoction of emotions caused by the end of the year on the horizon, images of happy families popping up everywhere in Christmas campaigns and well, _Jeff,_ himself.

It’s not that she’s been actively avoiding him, well, not _completely,_ it’s just that right now, she’s not sure she’s in the right frame of mind to keep seeing him so frivolously, as if there aren’t any consequences at all. _Especially_ not with Christmas and Hanukah and New Year around the corner, that would just be unfair to herself, to fake some sort of happiness with him, or create happiness which is only fleeting.

So, it takes Jeff several attempts to get her to say yes to an evening with his company. He texts her and then he calls her – “I hardly call anyone these days so you should know I’m really making an effort here.” – and then he brings over coffee but instead of her name scrawled across the paper of the cup, it says ‘Come over, Dec 19th, I think it’s someone’s birthday’. She rolls her eyes and says fine and makes sure to call Shirley.

“I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”

“You’ve seen me, I’ve just been quiet, that’s all.”

She’s sat with her back against the arm of Jeff’s couch, her knees bent so she can place her feet beside his thigh, creating an arc over his lap. A glass of wine is clasped between her hands as she watches Jeff, watching the TV play festive commercials up ahead. He doesn’t say anything more, maybe because he senses there’s a reason she’s not explaining herself.

“I know we texted about it but, how was your Thanksgiving. Was it really so bad?” She shrugs, questioningly. He sighs and runs his fingers over the beard that’s growing back across his jaw.

“Hmm, it wasn’t the worst. My mom’s just as nosey as ever, though.”

“I’m sure she’s only doing it out of the goodness of her heart.”

He turns his attention to her then, smirking a little.

“Oh, I know. It just makes me feel even more guilty.”

Annie isn’t sure what to say to that so she sips on her wine and glances at the TV.

“What about you? Did Milo make you some sort of Thanksgiving themed card?”

“Hmm?” She heard him but it takes her a second for his question to properly register as she focuses on him again, “Oh, yeah. It’s a painting of a turkey. It’s on his bedroom wall.”

“Wow.” He grins sarcastically, running a hand up her foot at the same time. She bobs her head and smiles back, leaning into the couch cushions a little more.

“He’s in his bigger bed now.”

Jeff’s eyes widen as he shifts to face her with the rest of his body rather than just his face.

“ _See?_ This is the kind of stuff I miss when you,” He raises his hands to do finger quotes, “’go quiet’”.

“Oh, so you want to know everything now?” The expression on her face is as equally as devilish as something he could pull of it, so much so it makes him shake his head and watch his words carefully.

“Pfft, _no,_ I just…” He shakes his head even more, “…you’ve been going on about him doing that for months.”

“Yeah well…” He watches her haughtily turn away, obviously proud of her mothering abilities. He knows she won’t drop it, so he carries on facing her until she inevitably brings it back up again. He laughs when she does, “Okay but you have _no_ idea how cute it is to see a little kid inside of a bigger bed. It makes him look _tiny_ again.”

“You love him _so_ much.” Jeff blurts out, still laughing breathily as he does.

Annie grins sheepishly, not quite looking him in the eye again.

“Yeah, I do.”

It seems like it would be an obvious statement but it’s not like she _has_ to love him, Jeff realises. _His_ dad didn’t love him and he’s certain his mom must have questioned whether having a kid was worth it at times but there’s no denying that Annie has nothing but unconditional love for Milo. After everything, it’s pretty damn admirable.

He breaks the thick silence that’s been created by bringing up her birthday because that’s why she’s there, after all.

“Uh, happy birthday again by the way. I’m sorry I didn’t really get you anything. I wasn’t really sure what I should get so, I guess I can owe you dinner sometime, or I don’t know a spa day.”

Annie’s head jolts back before she quickly leans over to the coffee table to safely put down her wine glass.

“Did you say _spa_ day?” She asks, sat upright.

“Yeah…”

“As in, a _real_ spa, not just a nail salon at a shopping mall?”

“Yeah… that counts as a _spa_ to you?”

“I’m _sold.”_

“Alright.” Jeff shrugs like it’s nothing, smiling at her excitement, “I’ll book us in.”, which soon turns into confusion.

“Wait, _us?_ ”

“Yeah, it’s cheaper when you go with two people and I want a facial.”

“Okay, now I’m just going to see you with a face mask on. _That’s_ a birthday gift.”

“Hell yeah it is, I look _adorable.”_ She snorts and giggles as he leans over, crawling over her slightly so he can reach close enough to kiss her. She presumes he’s just going to kiss her once and move away but then his hand starts fumbling around for the hem of her blouse and she has to stop him in his tracks.

“Do you mind if we _don’t,_ tonight?”

He searches her face, his thumb smoothing over her ribcage.

“Don’t you want to be selfish?”

She sighs, mostly at herself, sliding his hand away from where it’s made its home.

“Being selfish with you doesn’t mean,” She rolls her eyes, “ _you know._ Being selfish just means spending time with you. _You_ make me feel good.”

“Yeah well, it doesn’t happen very often with me to say it but, you make me feel good too.”

Annie grits her teeth, preparing for him to finish the statement.

“In both ways… but, you can do whatever you want, it’s your birthday.”

Except when he kisses her again, she knows she can’t. She knows she really can’t.

* * *

 

“Shirley?”

Milo’s voice is quiet as he stands at the gate of his bedroom door, stood on his tippy toes so he can see her sat on the couch, the TV flickering up ahead.

“Shirley!” He calls out again, louder this time but still not a loud cry in his tiredness.

“Oh Milo, sweetie.” She stands up and rounds the couch, unclipping his gate as swiftly as possible to join him in his room.

“What are we doing out of bed, hmm?”

“I can’t sleep!” He’s grouchy now but the adorable kind, where he doesn’t quite have enough energy to really be mad at himself or whatever is irritating him.

“Mhm, sleeping in a new bed is exciting, isn’t it?” Shirley bends to scoop him up under his arms before walking to stand over his bed.

“Now, what did Mommy tell you about sleeping in here, hm?”

Milo wipes his hands together in the air lazily before responding.

“Mommy said she’d be back after seeing Jeff.”

Shirley cranes her neck to check if she heard him correctly. She can’t see him clearly in the dim light so she has to listen carefully.

“Mommy said what now?”

“She said she’d see how I’m sleeping when she comes back.”

“She’d be back after seeing… did you say, _Jeff,_ sweetie?”

“Yeah.” He huffs out in a yawn.

“Hmm… your mommy told me she was meeting with another mommy from daycare again.”

“Jeff went to daycare.”

“Boy, you’re going to have to tell me a bit more about this _Jeff._ Where does Jeff live?”

Milo points a finger towards his wall which would technically suggest Jeff lives in Annie’s bedroom.

“Next door.”

“Oh sweet…” Shirley stops herself short, holding a hand to her chest before softening her voice, “…I’m sorry Milo, I should be putting you back to sleep.” He yawns again as she peels back his bedding and lays him down, brushing his hair out of his face.

“You know what to do, okay? It’s just like your crib, you just go to sleep and we…?” She raises an eyebrow at him.

 _“Wake up in the morning.”_ He whispers.

* * *

 

Annie finally takes up the offer for Milo to have a playdate with Eileen and her son a couple of days before Christmas which proves as a welcome distraction. It’s good timing too with Eileen in the same boat with being a single parent during the holiday period. She explains how she has a family though, so she’s not totally alone and Annie just has to sit there and nod.

Milo gets along well with Leo so they make plans for after the New Year when everything is a little less hectic.

“Well, have a great Christmas or whatever you’re celebrating. Happy Holidays, I guess.”

“Thanks, you too.”

Annie goes to text Jeff whilst she’s stalled in traffic on the way home, just to tell him she thinks she’s made a new friend that actually understands her position, but thinks better of it. She doesn’t know what he’s doing to celebrate the holidays but he briefly mentioned he’ll be meeting up with Britta and an old friend he hasn’t seen in a while so he’ll most probably be preoccupied.

Instead, she decides to take a detour to the grocery store to pick up ingredients for cookies so she can let Milo help her bake some festive goodies to get them in some sort of spirit.

“Does everyone have Christmas?” Milo asks, swinging his legs down against the countertop where Annie’s sat him, keeping a very watchful eye.

“Hmm, not everyone. We celebrate Hanukah too, don’t we? Remember last year when we lit the candles on the menorah?” He nods, “Well, some people only celebrate Hanukah and other people celebrate other holidays. I think a lot of people celebrate Christmas for the tree and the gifts nowadays though, even if they don’t believe in what it stands for.”

Milo hums, taking her words in.

“Can you stir this?”

He instantly reaches out for her spoon which is covered in frosting. There’s a green swirl inside the bowl where the food colouring hasn’t mixed but it starts to turn as he bashes the spoon around sporadically.

When the cookies are set out to cool and dry, the frosting sprinkled with different seasonal shapes like snowflakes and snowmen, Annie settles Milo down on the couch with a plate of whatever she can find for dinner and a movie with enough singing to keep him happy but not enough action to keep him up and excited before bed.

It’s when she’s putting him to sleep that she hears Jeff’s TV playing at an unbelievably high volume. She knows it’s his by the wall the sound is coming from, she just can’t understand why he’d have it up so loud when he knows it’s Milo’s bedtime.

ANNIE: Do you mind turning your TV down? Milo’s just gone to sleep x

JEFF: Ah, so u’re not ignoring me

ANNIE: I saw you four days ago.

JEFF: 4 days 2 long

ANNIE: You’re just horny. Can you turn it down yet? I’m probably not the only neighbour getting annoyed.

JEFF: Fine

As she gets into bed herself, her phone buzzes again on the nightstand.

JEFF: U said I’m horny urself. Got any photos I can use?

She sends a photo with her tongue sticking out in mock-annoyance.

* * *

 

It’s the start of the new year when he gets a call. It’s also one of his last days off and his phone rings right in the middle of the day so he has the right to be a little confused and peeved off when the caller has no ID. He lets it ring three or four times but by then it’s testing his limits so he presses answer out of rage.

“Hello?”

“Is this still your number?”

“Uh… depends on who you mean by ‘your’. I’m Jeff Winger.”

“I’m Abed Nadir.”

Jeff sighs a little with the phone pulled away from his face before he answers again.

“Abed, what are you calling me for?”

“Would you like to meet myself and Troy, Barnes-.”

“You can just say Troy.”

“Sorry, I wasn’t sure if we were still doing the last name thing.”

“Carry on.”

“Would you like to meet myself and Troy in twenty minutes?”

“Can I ask why?” Jeff hesitates.

“Because you’re friends with Annie and we’re friends with her and we were previously acquainted when you were a client of mine so it would only seem logical that we too become friends so that we can all in the future, meet in a group of friendship.”

“Okay, but-.”

“Great, I’ll text you the address.”

When he goes to correct the fact he was only saying yes in acknowledgement of his statement, the call cuts out and Jeff’s left to try and fathom out what just happened. He would ask Annie if he should be worried by knocking on her door but she’s barely had a week off in months so she’ll be at work and at this rate, wouldn’t answer a text either. Ever since her birthday she’s been getting gradually more distant and he’s starting to believe that either A) he said or did something wrong, B) she’s started seeing someone else or C) Milo’s dad is back in town and she doesn’t want him to know about it.

Option C doesn’t make a whole lot of rational sense though because there’s no way she’d keep that a secret and is probably what Susan his therapist would define as his anxieties talking. His anxieties of what, he doesn’t know. That’s why he’s not a therapist.

When Abed’s text comes through with the address, he finds it on Google Maps and it directs him to a coffee shop across town. It doesn’t seem like a Troy and Abed sort of place until he sees that the menu is more pancakes than coffee.

When he arrives, he waits outside for a while because there’s no sign of Troy _or_ Abed inside the café and he’s not about to embarrass himself by being shown up in a place crowded with mostly hyperactive children.

He’s about to give up and take it all as a prank when a wheel of a stroller nudges into the back of his leg and he’s faced with Milo. He expects to see Annie behind the wheel but it’s not because again, Annie’s at work or is still dealing with ‘being quiet’. When he sees it’s Troy and Abed, he’s relieved it hasn’t been a whole waste of time but confused and surprised that it’s them.

“What are you… with Milo?”

“Sometimes Annie lets Milo have a day off from daycare and lets us look after him. It’s not a problem, is it?” Abed tilts his head and smiles as Jeff bites his tongue, stopping himself from admitting that this is the first time he’s been with Milo without Annie knowing it.

“Awesome.”

“He’s been excited to see you all day, haven’t you, Milo?” Troy asks, crouching down to face Milo where he’s strapped in.

“Yeah!”

Jeff laughs awkwardly, his discomfort easing a little when Abed turns to lead them inside.

They find a table by the windows. It’s surprisingly busy for a weekday but he guesses it must be the place to be. Jeff realises it really _is_ a place for all of them, especially when the menus come out, printed in bright colours and sealed with plastic coverings.

“So… what did you want to see me for?” He asks, just so he has things clear. They don’t answer immediately, with their heads inside their menus and Milo screeching over the top of him, asking whether he can get out of the stroller yet. He leaves Troy and Abed to make the decision seeing as he was put in their care after all. It’s Troy who answers first, leaning across to Milo at the same time to unbuckle him.

“We just wanted to hang out, man. Plus, Milo’s been kind of a handful today so we were thinking maybe seeing someone else would, I don’t know, put his mind at ease or something.”

“And that had to me… because?”

“Milo knows you. We wouldn’t go hang out with someone he doesn’t know, that would make it ten times worse.”

“Right.”

“There you go, buddy. You can sit between us.”

The table is seated with benches so Milo perches between Troy and Abed whilst giggling. Jeff reads his menu to avoid exciting him any further. A waitress hovers over the table a few minutes later, jotting down their orders – Troy and Abed decide on hot chocolates with marshmallows, Milo decides he wants orange juice and Jeff has his usual strong black coffee – and leaving Milo with a colouring set.

“So, do you like Annie?”

The way Jeff tilts his head is almost comical, especially with his eyebrows raised. He tries to ignore the fact that Milo is now copying him but he knows a smile is tugging at his lips.

“I’m sorry, what? Aren’t you supposed to start conversations with questions like, ‘So Jeff, how have you been? How was your New Year?’”

Troy shakes his head as if he knows Abed’s answer before he’s spoken a word.

“I don’t do small talk. I like to cut to the chase rather than act like somebody who does do small talk. I just don’t understand why you would.”

“Cut the chase? I thought you just wanted to ‘hang out, man’?”

“We do, but also, Annie’s our friend and she hasn’t told us anything about you. How do we know if there’s a reason for that? What if you’re a bad person? I know we’ve met before but people change.”

Troy laughs nervously and claps Abed on the shoulder, his arm arcing over Milo’s head.

“I think what Abed is trying to say, is that we _care_ about Annie. It’s not like she becomes close friends with all her neighbours.”

“Close friends? Who told you we’re close friends?”

Abed looks confused but he morphs his frown into a false, toothy grin when the waitress arrives with their orders. Once the drinks are set and they’ve said their thank you’s, his baffled expression returns.

“You’re not?”

“Yeah… you’re _not?_ You met Milo… hardly anyone meets Milo.”

“It was kinda’ impossible not to, we kept bumping into each other and Milo’s never _not_ with her.”

“Mommy!” Milo interrupts, reaching his hands up in the air. Annie’s nowhere to be seen, so they just ignore him.

“Well, she’s not here now, so…” Troy scratches behind his ear like he’s just made a point which completely blows apart Jeff’s logic.

“We live in the same apartment block, screw that, we live next door to each other. You really think I wouldn’t have met Milo by now?”

“Have your other neighbours met Milo?” Abed asks again, obviously on some sort of mission to find out as much information he can as possible.

“I don’t know, probably in passing.”

“Do they know him by name?”

“Probably not but I don’t get what your poi-.”

“ _Dude,_ you’re close friends. You don’t have to deny it. Annie doesn’t introduce Milo to new people very often, especially if they’re a guy or somebody outside of his daycare.” Troy adds on before helping Milo get a hold of his orange juice straw without spilling it all on the floor.

“So, what? You two are guys.”

“We’ve known her since college.”

“I’ve known Annie since _high school._ ”

Abed nods and hums, pointing a finger at Troy who’s drinking his cream covered hot chocolate, to reaffirm his statement. Jeff huffs and takes a gulp of his coffee, making a face when he realises he’s forgotten to sweeten it. He grits his teeth and grabs a sachet from the side of the table.

“You know, Annie told me this would happen. That you guys would interrogate me at some point.”

“She did?”

“Yeah and I don’t get it. You’re really telling me that it’s such a big deal that I met her kid? I mean, she’s mentioned it briefly but do I really deserve to go through this because of it?” Jeff gesticulates his hands towards them, his eyes wide and questioning.

“I don’t want to do colouring,” Milo adds in whilst pushing the paper away from him.

“That’s okay Milo, you don’t have to.” Troy answers before looking back at Jeff, “And yeah, you kind of do.” He pauses to put his hands over Milo’s head, clearly trying to demonstrate his next point whilst mouthing the word ‘his’, “Dad really did a number on her, and who blames her? He left her, like _big_ time. I don’t know if you can relate but… now she’s afraid everyone will. Her parents did too and I’m pretty certain her brother doesn’t talk to her anymore.”

“We know Annie. She wears her heart on her sleeve until it means it affects other people, in this case, Milo, and he makes up most of her heart anyway. What we’re trying to say is… we _know_ Annie.”

Troy finishes speaking, leaving Jeff to stare into his coffee cup as Abed’s mood and tone shifts.

“We believe the reason Annie hasn’t told us much about you is because you mean something to her, and if she tells us then it becomes more real. We just don’t want to see her get hurt again.”

Jeff bites his lip and looks away.

“Yeah well, now you’re showing me up to be a huge jerk.”

“You’re not a jerk, Jeff. In fact, this is probably having some effect on you too, right? I mean, it must be if you’re seeing her.”

He looks up, grinning widely.

“What?”

“What!” Milo echoes, soon being silenced by Troy.

“You can deny it if you want to but do you really think we would have said all of that if we didn’t think you were seeing each other?”

“We’re not- I can’t believe you would- That’s not- You shouldn’t just insinuate things like that, Abed. Men and women are more than capable of just being friends without se...hh…yup.” He looks at Milo whilst attempting to finish the sentence.

“Dude, Jeff, we’re not going to tell Annie we know.”

Jeff finishes his coffee in one swift gulp, wishing it wasn’t a proper a cup so he could crunch it between his fists. He scans their faces and gives in.

“Okay fine, we’re seeing each other but that doesn’t mean anything.”

“Can I sit with Jeff?” Milo asks sweetly. Troy and Abed watch Jeff patiently, waiting for him to nod. When he does, Milo jumps down and scoots past Troy’s legs to jump up beside Jeff. He starts inspecting his side of the table, reaching for his coffee cup.

“What’s that?”

“It was coffee.”

“Can I have some?”

“No buddy, it’s all gone now.”

“Ow.”

“You still haven’t answered our question.”

Jeff stares at Abed blankly as he tugs Milo towards him to make him sit still.

“Do you like Annie?”

The laugh that Jeff emits makes Milo laugh too, holding a hand up to his face.

“What’s so funny?”

Jeff ignores Milo briefly, so he can answer.

“No Abed, I don’t like Annie but I _am_ seeing her.”

“Sarcasm. I get it.”

“What do you _really_ mean when you ask that question?” Jeff folds his arms, removing his grip on Milo so he can start reaching towards the table again.

There’s a family to the right of them in their own booth, the mom in the bathroom, the youngest of their kids climbing towards their table too. Jeff’s not listening but Milo is, as he pauses mid-reach.

“Stop climbing on the table, Christopher.”

“That boy is.” The son adds, pointing at Milo.

“He is but I’m sure in a minute his daddy will stop him too.”

Milo sits back down, obviously now aware of his actions but confused by the man’s words as his eyes dart between Troy, Abed and Jeff. He stays quiet then, glancing over at the other table every now and then.

“It’s a simple question, isn’t it? Do you like Annie?”

“Yeah, I like Annie. She’s great.”

“How much do you like her?”

“ _Abed,_ ” Jeff looks at him pointedly, his hand reaching across the table slightly. Abed retreats in his seat, slumping back and recognising he may have crossed a line. “I know you’re doing this out of the goodness of your heart but do you want to hang out or do you wanna’ be a love detector?”

Jeff’s eyes widen at the same time as Abed’s but completely opposite reasons. Abed’s are awake and bright and Jeff’s are bulging and full of irritation.

“No. No. I didn’t use that word to-.”

“He said, love.” Abed says, speaking to Troy.

“He said, love. Aww.” Troy bites his knuckle.

“No! No. I didn’t, look, uh,” A waitress walks past and Jeff shoots his hand up to grab her attention. He clicks in front of Troy and Abed’s faces, “Will you shut up if I buy you pancakes?”

Troy shrugs and succumbs as Abed smiles.

“Blueberry.”

“Sure thing.” The waitress walks away leaving Jeff to glare at them across the table before checking on Milo who’s gone suspiciously quiet.

“Hey, are you okay, buddy?”

He nods slowly before sinking into the bench and the side of Jeff’s arm. He seems tired, almost.

“Does he need a nap or something?”

“No, he had one earlier.” Troy confirms.

“What’s wrong then, buddy?” Jeff scratches his fingers across the top of his head, trying to be playful yet soothing. It takes all of five seconds for him to start crying at full pelt.

“I WANT TO GO HOME!”

Jeff stares at him as his voice trembles and families start to pay attention to them. One of the workers silently judges him across the room.

“What do we, what are you supposed to do?”

“I don’t know, pick him up or something.” Troy suggests.

“Um, okay, uh…” Jeff hauls Milo up onto his shoulder, patting him on the back whilst shrugging and still seeking help from Troy and Abed. “It’s okay, buddy.”

“I want Mommy! I want to go home!” Tears are forming and making his cheeks grow damp as well as a patch on Jeff’s jacket.

“It’s okay, buddy. You’ll be able to see her soon.” He nods his head towards them, “Right?”

“It’s five thirty, yeah, she’ll be on her way back.” Troy flicks his watch towards Jeff to prove it.

“So, you’re taking him home, right?”

“No, Annie’s picking him up.”

“Annie’s...? Wait, she’s comin-.” He can’t even start to think about the fact he hasn’t seen her properly since before Christmas because it’s like her name has summoned her.

“ _Jeff?_ What are _you_ doing here? _”_

He looks up to the ceiling, a wailing Milo still crying into the crook of his neck.

Annie is standing at the end of the table, her bag over her shoulder and her car keys in hand. She’s glaring at Troy and Abed, nostrils flared. They go to speak but her she cuts them off.

“Just tell me what’s wrong with Milo.”

Jeff mumbles a little, passing Milo over, he stops crying as loudly when he realises she’s there.

“He just… started crying, I don’t… know.”

She kisses Milo’s forehead and smooths a hand down his back.

“It’s okay, sweetie.”

Jeff doesn’t know what to say so he suggests the only thing he can.

“I can give you a lift ho-.”

“Do you think I _walked_ from work?”

“Nope.”

“I’ve had a long day, you can explain yourselves tomorrow.”

As she turns, Jeff tries once last time.

“Annie-.”

“Don’t.”

* * *

Milo’s crying stops her from thinking about why Troy and Abed would have gone behind her back and met up with Jeff without her knowing, and as much as she’d rather he wasn’t crying, she’s grateful that she simply _cannot_ think about it all evening.

He hasn’t had many tantrums recently so he was either waiting to let it all out or one of her three ‘friends’ (she allows herself to be bitter for a while, even though she knows she’ll soon forgive them) prompted it. Either way, it lasts until he’s in his bed and she’s sat by his side, the lights dimmed and his cheeks still sticky with tears. He’d barely eaten any dinner when she’d arrived home, so he’s shaky from using up his energy, too.

“What’s wrong, sweetie? Did you just have a tough day, hmm? You can tell me if there’s something on your mind.”

He almost cries again, letting out a whimper.

“Where’s my daddy?”

It’s instant. The tears fill her eyes and she has to look way out of shock. She holds her hand up to her face to shield her from his view just so she can compose herself. The emotions of the day make it easy for her to let it all out but he’s just asked a question she didn’t think she’d have to answer for years to come and she doesn’t have the heart to save it for another day. When she looks back, she’s still teary eyed but her lips are smiling for him.

“That’s what’s been on your mind?”

He nods.

“You know what, usually on a night like this I would save it for another day but that’s a question that you deserve to have answered and I’ve always promised that I will _never_ lie to you. So, you can ask _any_ questions like that, okay?”

She takes a deep breath.

“It must be confusing, huh? When you go to daycare and all the other boys and girls have mommies and daddies? Well, you know, not everyone has a mommy and daddy. In fact, some people have two daddies and no mommy! It’s just that, _usually,_ when people want to make a baby, it involves having a mommy and daddy. There are _lots_ of other ways to go about it nowadays but in simple terms, that’s why a lot of kids have mommies and daddies. But… sometimes, things happen where, for example, the daddy doesn’t stay around after the baby’s been made, or, the mommy and daddy decide they don’t want to stay together anymore.”

“I like to think that there’s a difference between someone who makes a baby and a daddy, though. A daddy or a father is someone who looks after you and loves you and stays by your side but you can’t really be a daddy if you don’t do all of that, can you? So… I know this might all be a bit confusing and I promise that when you’re older it will make more sense but for now… just know that Mommy made a baby and that baby was _you._ You have _Mommy_ and I love you and I’m not going anywhere. We just don’t have a daddy right now.”

Milo sniffs and wipes his face against his pillow.

“What about Jeff?”

She smiles, confused.

“What do you mean, sweetie?”

“Jeff loves me.”

She bites her lip and has to wonder if he told him that or if he just instinctively knows. It brings the tears back to her eyes, either way.

“Lots of people love you, Milo.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm actually not doing so bad with these chapters! So, we're still on track, folks!


	14. Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first thing Jeff notices is that his hearing has gone fuzzy. It’s not been completely wiped out, he is still standing and breathing after all but his ears have that clogged feeling to them that happens when he gets up too quickly from bed or when he yawns wide enough that his jaw clicks. It must be because his body is listening out for his heart to make sure that it’s working, the blood flow pounding inside of his muffled ears as he tries to figure out the right way to respond. 
> 
> He concludes that there is no ‘right way’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somehow managed to write this in 35c/95f heat. One of those chapters I've been planning since day one!

Coincidentally, Jeff’s therapy session is the next morning meaning he has the perfect opportunity to spew out all of his thoughts and feelings that are currently running through his mind before they make their home and dig deeper.

“So, how have you been feeling lately?” Susan asks with her brows raised and her pen tapping.

“Not… terrible. I mean, not great, I still feel like a worthless piece of shit most days but, maybe a worthless piece of shit that could maybe not feel so worthless one day.”

“Good, that’s some progression, even if it’s minor. Can you maybe think of why that might be? Have you thought about the root cause of this progression?”

Jeff rakes his eyes over the carpet beneath his feet in thought. Annie’s name ends up on the tip of his tongue but he doesn’t blurt it out immediately. It takes him realising that if he’s going to admit it anywhere, he may as well make it here, where he won’t get scrutinised or judged for months on end.

“Maybe… seeing Annie, I don’t know.”

Susan nods like it answers everything.

“Would you say that relationship has progressed? What do you mean by ‘seeing’ her?”

“Kinda’. I’ve stayed over a few times, we’ve had morning sex, we’ve _not_ had sex. We hang out.”

“You’re not dating though, so there’s no exclusive arrangement, you can see other people?”

“I guess.” He shrugs before looking up as if to defend himself, “I haven’t. I’ve barely even thought about it or been out to try, I mean, when I’m out, I’m… with her.”

“How does that make you feel?”

His eyes are darting around the room, landing on a window to the left. Jeff chews on his bottom lip and rubs his hands together where they’re growing clammy.

“I don’t know, I suppose it just confuses me, why she’s…” He rolls his eyes a little, still not facing Susan, “…gone quiet.”

She doesn’t prompt him, she just waits for him to continue explaining naturally, writing as he talks.

“It kind of happened on my birthday. She came over with a card that her kid had made because she forgot or something and, I can’t think of what I did that’s made her kind of distance lately. But ever since then, I don’t know, I just keep thinking I must have done something but I just don’t know what. And after yesterday, I guess I’ve screwed up big time but the thing is, I don’t even know why I care.” He shrugs and laughs under his breath, “If she’s moved on, she’s moved on. It’s not like…” He sits up, a frown on his face, a memory flooding back to him, “…we promised each other anything.”

“You mentioned yesterday. Did something significant happen?”

“No, no, it’s not really relevant. I know I’m not in the wrong there. I don’t even know what’s coming out of my mouth right now.” He laughs sadly before pushing his thumbs into the bridge of his nose.

“That’s the purpose of therapy, Mr Winger; to let it all out.”

“Surely, I should be using this as an excuse to get out, right? If she’s mad at me then at least we can stop whilst I know I’m not in the wrong.” He huffs out a breath, “You know how they tell you not to stand in a flowing river with the water past your knees? Because then the water can pull you along with it?”

“I’m familiar with that, yes. I presume you’re about to explain the relevancy.”

“If I had to say how I feel right now, I’d say that I’m being pulled along the river of Annie and I’m about to come out into the mouth of I don’t even know what.”

He watches her scribble on her notepad briefly, her lips pursed. When she faces him, sat upright again, her eyes are squinted almost proudly.

“Jeff, if there’s anything to take from today it’s that you have a sudden burst of confidence in explaining yourself more clearly. Do you think you could work with that for the next couple of weeks? Face your feelings head on. Ask yourself why you feel as if you’re being pulled in a certain direction. It might be more obvious when you do.”

* * *

 

“Annie?”

He’s been knocking on the door for a solid minute now. He can hear her in there, her muffled voice calling out to Milo every now and then.

“Annie!”

“Annie come on, I know you’re busy but I just want to come in for like two minutes. I promise I’ll leave.”

Eventually, when she opens the door, he falls forward from where he’d slumped against it, sulking.

“Milo’s being a handful today. What do you want?” Her expression is stern and he knows it’s going to be a task just getting through the door. He sighs before bringing his hands up to show the two paper cups.

“Coffee?”

She doesn’t say yes, she just looks at him blankly.

“Is there anything else?”

He bobs his head timidly.

“I wanted to apologise for the…” He trails off as she rolls her eyes and walks back into the apartment behind her, leaving him to follow and kick the door closed with his heel, the two coffee cups still in his hands. Milo’s nowhere to be seen but he can hear him playing in his bedroom. “…other day.”

“Jeff, just-.”

“No, look, I need to know why you’re mad at me so I can make this better. I know when I’ve been a bad guy so trust me, I don’t like it when I don’t.”

Annie livens up then, using her hands to express herself more boldly.

“There’s no _bad guy_ about it, I just can’t believe you’d go behind my back like that.”

Jeff pauses to put down the coffee, knowing now that they’re going to be left to go cold. He crosses his arms over when his hands are free, watching her stand in the living room.

“I didn’t go behind your back at all. What do you want me to do? Abed called me and I was trying to be the _good guy_ so I said yes to meeting up. He said he wanted to get to know me better because you and I are friends. None of this is on me.”

“Oh really? What about the fact that you were with Milo without my knowledge _or_ my consent?”

Jeff laughs, his shoulders jumping up and down before he scratches under his nose with a finger.

“I need your _consent_ now? Annie, I’ve looked after Milo. I’ve picked him up from daycare. I bought him a birthday present and you’re really getting mad that your babysitters for the day, just so happened to _not_ tell me he was going to be there? What did you want me to do? Stand up and walk away because I don’t know for sure if I’m allowed to sit across the table from him? _Really?_ ”

She mirrors his crossed arms, pouting.

“I’m allowed to be angry.”

“Sure, but you’re not allowed to be angry at me. If anything, you should be mad at Troy and Abed and even then, they were with me for a good reason. They had their hearts in the right place.”

“Their _hearts_ in the right place? What the hell is that supposed to mean?” She stares at him incredulously before walking over to Milo’s room, her voice and tone changing instantly.

“Hey sweetie, are you okay in there?” Milo’s stood at his gate, his chin over the top metal bar.

“Yup. What’s Jeff doing?”

“We’re just talking okay, go play with your toys.”

He turns in a huff before screeching and kicking the first toy his foot can find. It goes clattering across the room, landing in another pile of randomly dispersed items.

When Annie returns, Jeff puts his coffee down. He’d started drinking it to distract himself from all of the words threatening to spill out as she’d dealt with Milo and his needs. Milo’s already back at the gate again, watching them, his hand precariously close to the button that opens it.

“Look, okay, I get it. We’re in the same boat here. I know how you feel and I get it, I do, because you’re scare-.”

Annie huffs out in annoyance again and Jeff ends up groaning to the ceiling. Milo is now darting towards the end of the room, the gate open.

“Ugh, Milo, how did you open that? I thought I had it double-locked.”

As Annie tries to figure out how he used enough force to get it open, Jeff cautiously watches Milo run around freely, his arms waving around in the air. He collides with the coffee table, making Jeff instinctively lurch forward to check if he’s alright. Milo’s strong through, brushing it off and standing up to Jeff. He tilts his head and Jeff’s about to point him in the direction of Annie when he’s completely caught off guard.

“Daddy!” Milo points.

The first thing Jeff notices is that his hearing has gone fuzzy. It’s not been completely wiped out, he is still standing and breathing after all but his ears have that clogged feeling to them that happens when he gets up too quickly from bed or when he yawns wide enough that his jaw clicks. It must be because his body is listening out for his heart to make sure that it’s working, the blood flow pounding inside of his muffled ears as he tries to figure out the right way to respond.

He concludes that there is no ‘right way’.

He blinks hard and his hearing comes back to him, Milo’s voice ringing through as he returns to running around the room playfully. He composes himself as much as he can do, facing Annie as she re-enters the main space of the room, leaving Milo to his own devices.

“Annie.”

“What?”

“Why did Milo just call me… _daddy_?”

He has to clench his eyes closed just in case this is all a bad dream.

She looks panicked when he opens them again, her lips quivering like she’s going to cry.

“I… I don’t know.”

“What the hell is going on?” He turns to her, the palms of his hands on show as he gestures. Annie is steadying her breathing, blinking away the tears on her waterline.

“Yesterday… he, he says stuff he doesn’t mean, I don’t… just.”

“Yesterday? Annie, this isn’t a time to be vague, okay? He can’t just go around saying things like that.”

“I know, okay! I know, I just… I’m trying my best, okay? And…” She’s crying completely now, her face scrunched up with emotion, tears rolling. “I knew this was a bad idea and I’m sorry, I just… I knew it wouldn’t work and I knew it was too good to be true and I shouldn’t have done this. Please, just leave. _Please.”_

“What? Annie, no, I’m not goi-.”

_“Go!”_

His face is full of disbelief.

“You want me to _leave_ right now?”

“I made a mistake, okay? I don’t do this. I _can’t_ do this. Please just leave. I’m sorry. I need to be alone.”

Jeff goes to speak again, to tell her that he doesn’t do this either, not knowing what _this_ is but hoping it would be enough, but then she slumps against the nearest wall and closes her eyes and he knows she won’t open them until he leaves. He chances a glance at Milo who’s now gone quiet, staring up at him with a frown on his face.

“Okay but, don’t come knocking.”

He says it so he has the final word, so it isn’t all on him that this has happened. This was her choice, not his. He doesn’t have to be brought down in it.

When he’s about to close the door, he looks back at the room; back at both of them. He grits his teeth and wonders if maybe it was his fault. Maybe he was being too selfish himself, taking more than he was given.

Annie keeps her eyes shut like he expected. He doesn’t know if she opens them to watch the door close.

* * *

 

“MOMMY! Wah, ah, Mommy!”

Milo starts crying as soon as Jeff’s out of the apartment. It’s more than a cry, it’s a full-on meltdown that will only escalate if Annie doesn’t get him under control and stop crying herself. She sucks up her remaining tears, wipes her face with the side of her hand and walks over to where he’s sat on the floor, his face red and burning.

“It’s okay Milo, it’s okay. What’s wrong, sweetie?”

“MOMMY! I wan’ Mommy! Wah!”

“I’m here, sweetie. Okay, just breathe.”

She picks him up and walks around the room, leaning on either foot to spread the weight. She carries on talking softly to him, trying to get through in a calming manner. It takes five long minutes to get him to stop screaming, leaving him to only whimper on her shoulder.

“That’s enough, okay? We don’t need to cry, we’re nice and safe and happy in here, okay? What made you cry, sweetie?”

“Mommy…”

“I’m right here.”

He holds his fists up to his eyes as his face creases up.

“Mommy was crying…” He whimpers and moans and wails all over again.

“Ow…” Annie reaches a hand out to smooth out his hair and the strands that are clinging to his wet cheeks. “Sweetie, I’m okay. I’m fine. I was just upset, that’s all. There’s no need to cry, okay? Nothing’s wrong but that’s okay, we all cry sometimes.”

She sits down with him on the couch, holding him against her in the crook of her arm. He’s breathing heavily so she lets him calm down, just sat in silence. She kisses his forehead and smooths some more hair away, her eyes glazed on a spot in the distance.

When she refocuses to check on Milo, his eyes now drooping, she realises her eyes had been fixated on a blue train on the windowsill; Jeff’s blue train. She sighs upon the realisation, turning her head to the other side of the room, letting her eyes drift close like Milo’s.

Next door is silent because instead of turning right when Jeff had followed her orders, he’d turned left knowing that being alone wasn’t going to do him any good; if he was going to be alone, he’d at least have to be alone in a bar and that bar would have to be free of anyone he knew, especially the bartending-friend kind, like Britta.

“Hey, can I get a Macallan? Neat, please.”

“Sure.” The bartender turns away, finding a glass and the scotch as Jeff waits on the barstool behind him, tapping his fingers.

Being out reminds him of Christmas and how much he’s cut down on this part of his life recently. Not only has he been drinking less, he’s lost a sense of connection with all the lonely fools sat doing the same old, sad thing is he is right now. He didn’t even drink at Christmas either because he lost some dumb card game to Britta and Duncan about who was going to be designated driver with all the cabs booked up and off duty.

“We didn’t need to play that anyway because Jeff’s _sure_ to be going home to his baby mommy, anyway. What does this kid call, you? I’m sure you can’t turn up pissed with a kid around.”

“A baby mummy, my _word,_ Winger. I feel offended you haven’t kept me up to date with all of this dirty business.”

“Firstly, I’m not going home to anyone. Secondly, she has a name and thirdly, Duncan, you don’t keep me up to date with your life so I’m not going to keep you up to date with mine, it cuts both ways, buddy.”

“Fair play, Winger but come on, if she has a name which isn’t just ‘big boobs and a baby’ in your phone and _Britta_ knows about her then surely I can too. We’re all friends here, aren’t we?”

“Hey! Why did you say my name like I know nothing about Jeff’s love life? I was _part_ of it, I’ll have you know.”

Jeff had groaned and rolled his eyes before taking a gulp of his Diet Coke.

“She’s just someone I’m hooking up with okay, it’s not a big deal.”

“Hmm, _how_ many months have you been hooking up with her?”

“Yes, how many exactly? Then I can roughly calculate if it’s been long enough between you two hooking up and me getting a shot with the female person in your duo.”

“I’m right here, pig.” Britta glared at Duncan, knocking her glass into his arm.

“I honestly don’t understand why you guys care so much. I’ve said it before, I have no interest in knowing who you guys are sleeping with and _no,_ that is not an invitation for you to tell me who.”

“Uh, because one day you’re gonna’ fall in love with someone for real and we want to be the first people to see it coming?”

“Exactly right, Britta.”

“How many times do I have to tell you, I don’t believe in love. I’m dying alone and I’m _fine_ with that.” He’d crossed his arms, sure of himself.

“Just because you don’t believe in it, doesn’t mean it’s not gonna’ happen! A lot of people don’t believe in aliens but one day, when they come down and destroy civilisation, everyone will know it. The truth is out there, Jeff.”

He’d scrunched up his nose and tilted his head, unsure if she knew what she was referencing.

“Oh, that Gillian Anderson, though. _Now_ we’re talking.”

Duncan had rubbed his hands together and steered the conversation in a different direction.

“Your drink, sir.”

Jeff lifts his head from where he’s staring at the sticky bar top, his eyes dropping again to the glass in front of him.

“Oh, thanks.”

Thinking back to that conversation whilst sipping on his drink makes him wonder what it is that makes his friends and well, family (even if they’re not directly related) so adamant that one day he’ll suddenly just _feel_ it? Sure, he can see the appeal, in fact, he’s daydreamed once or twice about the idea of being in a happy relationship and having a happy family but that doesn’t mean he was born to have one or that he ever will.

And boy, he thinks, it must be something really special when you have it, for it to be romanticised and celebrated as proudly as it is. He supposes he hasn’t read enough books or watched enough sappy movies to understand what that feeling is or whether he’s ever felt it.

He rolls his eyes and slumps further against the bar top, mumbling into the rim of his glass, aloud.

“Not something they teach you at school, kids.”

And it’s not because most people figure it out themselves, they don’t wallow in fear and insecurity until they’re past forty and not worth anything; not that he knows of, anyway.

It gets him pondering over whether Clive is still with his wife after the wedding. Maybe, because some people stick it out. Probably, because some people try. And because his mind is spinning with thoughts, unsure of what it’s trying to figure out, he ends up thinking about his mom and whether she’s ever really felt it.

He remembers her reassuringly telling him she didn’t love his dad anymore when they moved out and that it was better that way. It was of course, even if it hadn’t felt like it in the moment. But before that, there must have been a feeling somewhere inside of her that got her to marry him in the first place. Jeff finds himself tilting his head and squinting, recalling something vaguely.

He blames the scotch for making him pick up his phone. He’s not drunk in the slightest but drinking makes him loosen up and force himself to do what he never usually would. It’s not late, so she answers on the first ring.

“Oh darling, is that you?”

“Yeah, hey Mom.”

“Hi Jeffrey, is everything okay? I just sat down to watch Wheel of Fortune.”

“Oh… okay, don’t worry, I don’t want to interrupt you or any-.”

“Nonsense. What is it, honey?”

“This is going to be a really random question and you don’t have to answer right now but, I can’t remember what happened with you and Jeremy.”

There’s a rustle on her end of the phone like she’s scrambling for the TV remote. His suspicions must be correct when he hears the background noise go silent, being turned to mute.

“Well, what do you want to know?”

He’s not sure exactly, he simply has a small seed of hope that it might clear his mind and help him make sense of how he’s feeling. Or not. There’s a chance it won’t help at all but there has to be a reason he remembered it.

“I, uh, I don’t know… I just remembered briefly and… I guess I’ve always wondered.”

“Well…” He hears her breathe out and readjust the phone against her ear before continuing, “…obviously I knew him before your father, about two years before, I suppose. There was sort of a youth centre, you know, not really for kids but for young adults to use and he was always there. At first, I thought he was a volunteer or someone who worked there because I saw him so often but then he came over one day and we started talking and you know, it turned out he actually liked me. And so, we saw each other for a while, probably about three months before he… well, asked me to marry him.”

“Huh.” Three months, Jeff thinks.

“I thought about it for a couple of days and I felt terrible that I’d left him without an answer but obviously the rest is history because he’s not the one I married.”

Jeff nods even though she can’t see.

“Why did you say no?”

“Fear, mostly. Three months didn’t seem long enough to decide such an important decision on. I wasn’t scared. I think your father was the one to make me realise the difference between fear and being scared. I was never scared of marrying Jeremy, I just worried about what might happen. If I’d known, I would have said yes, I loved him enough, but then I wouldn’t have had you, would I?”

“Yeah, I don’t know if I was worth it.”

“Everything happens for a reason and out of it all, I got you.”

Jeff chews his lip and gulps down the rest of his drink, pointing his finger to the barman to signal for a second.

“Barely.”

“Do we need to talk about this because I know you had your reasons, Jeffrey.”

“Yeah, but now I know they weren’t good enough.”

His second scotch arrives so he thanks the barman with a nod, taking a quick sip before talking again.

“I guess that was my fear. You know, not thinking I’d done enough for you. I wanted to get away so I wouldn’t feel guilty all the time, and I’m _sorry._ You needed me there.”

Blurry eyed, Jeff searches the bar, relieved to find nobody is watching his eyes tear up. He came in thinking about how he’d screwed up with Annie and he’s going to leave reminding himself of how he screwed up with his mom.

“I didn’t _need_ you there Jeff, there’s a difference. I wanted you there, yes but you know what? Those years alone were good for me. When you go through what we did, you need time to find yourself again and I did that. I used to hate my sisters but now they’re my best friends because I found them again in that time. I’m sitting here talking to you on the phone with Wheel of Fortune on the TV, I could never have done that with him around.”

“You could never do anything with him around.”

“Exactly. You were old enough to go out and be on your own and I was capable of letting you do that. It’s not all as bad as it seems.”

He sighs, letting the call go quiet.

“Jeffrey, what day do you go back to work?”

“Wednesday.”

“Come over tomorrow, okay? I’ll put your bed up and I’ll make some macaroni.”

He almost smiles at the thought but then his phone buzzes and it distracts him. This time, it actually is the news.

“Are you okay, honey?”

Fidgeting, he unlocks it but the background is what actually draws him in – Annie, resting her head on his chest. Instead of smiling, he squints to hold a tear back.

“I don’t know.”

* * *

 

She doesn't see Jeff for the next few days. She wonders if it's because she's been subconsciously timing her exits of the apartment differently to usual but then she notices for four days in a row that his car isn't in the parking lot. Panic sets in then, briefly. What if he took it all to heart and he left completely? What if his way of coping is getting drunk and he ended up wrapping his car around a tree? In the middle of the parking lot with Milo in hand, she pauses momentarily and steadies her breathing. He's an adult. He can deal with this... and so can she.

Arriving at daycare, she hands over Milo's backpack and holds onto his arms.

"What do you have to make sure to do, today?"

"Ask for the toilet."

"Good boy. Whenever you think you might need to go, you ask, okay? I want to pick you up and hear how well you've done."

He nods before leaning forward to kiss her on the lips, turning to scurry into the class. Annie's prepared to leave, ready to get back in the car and head straight to work when she receives a pat on her shoulder.

“Miss Edison?”

“Hi.” She smiles brightly at the daycare assistant, her sign in sheet at hand.

“I just wondered if I needed to mark down Mr Winger for the invite to the upcoming parent’s reception? We have you marked down but we just need to know, seating wise.”

“Why… why would you have him marked down?” Annie shakes her head, confused. She told them it would be a one-time pick-up when Jeff helped her out, nothing more.

“Oh, it’s just that we were told to keep his details, that’s all.”

This confuses Annie further, making her pout her lips and tilt her head in thought.

“Oh, um, okay… but no, no, he doesn’t need an invite. He’s just my…” She sighs, mid-sentence, “neighbour.”

“No problem. Have a good day.”

“Thanks.”

When she climbs back in the car she throws her neck back against the headrest and groans.

Just because she hasn’t seen Jeff, doesn’t mean he hasn’t constantly been on her mind or that she hasn’t been constantly reminded of him around each corner she turns. It’s not just in the apartment with Milo’s toys and his scribbly handwriting doodled onto corners of paper, it’s now at daycare and it’s at the park and it’s in the car and it’s everywhere because that’s what she let him do; seep into almost every part of her life, making himself into a stain on a white dress that won’t come out without deep cleaning and scrubbing until your nails break.

She presses the heels of her hands into her eyes before thinking better of it, checking her wrists for smudged make-up.

On top of her Jeff related guilt, she has Troy and Abed related guilt to deal with too. She didn’t get chance to talk to them after what happened, with Milo and Jeff and the _Daddy_ situation; it all feels like so much of a blur she almost wishes she could go back so she could have heard him say it, just to make the memory clearer and to make sense of it all.

She’s earlier than usual today so she continues to sit outside of daycare, parents still swarming in. She takes a swig of her water bottle, licks her lips and reaches for her phone before pressing dial. It barely rings three times before the call connects.

“Hey Troy, I j-.”

“Oh, Annie, thank _god._ Abed and I were freaking out thinking we’d done something _terrible_ and we’d, I don’t know, ruined our friendship forever but you’re calling so that has to be a good sign, right?”

“What? Troy, no, you didn’t ruin our friendship. I think we’ve been through enough to prove that, okay? But, speaking of which, I feel really bad about the way I reacted and… is there any chance I could come over tonight? I’ll try and drop Milo off or get Shirley to look after him, I think I need to see you guys alone.”

“Absolutely, the brick is already in the door.”

“How many times have I told you about that brick?”

“How many times have you needed to get past with Milo’s stroller with only two hands, Annie?”

Troy can’t see her but she rolls her eyes.

“ _Every_ time, Annie. Every time.”

* * *

 

“So, are you going to leave it until the last minute to tell me what’s going on or are you just stay quiet again?”

“I just want to deal with it first, and before you ask, I don’t even know what dealing with it means myself.”

In the crook of Jeff’s neck, his mom reaches up, a hand curled over his shoulder, comfortingly.

“Just don’t beat yourself up, okay? You know how easy it is.”

He flicks his eyebrows up when he’s stood back to see his face.

“I’ll try.”

“Come and stay again, whenever you like, okay? You’re always welcome.”

“Got it.”

“Drive safely, sweetie.”

“Bye, Mom.”

“Bye, Jeffrey. See you soon!”

* * *

 

 “I feel like I’ve been over a lot, lately.”

Abed tilts his head, throwing popcorn into his mouth and crunching down on it before responding.

“It’s what you need, isn’t it? In times of distress and confusion? You need a shoulder to cry on.”

“I guess…” Annie’s head jolts up from where it’s drooping into the palm of her hand as she curls up into one of the living room arm chairs, “…wait, that’s not what it feels like, right? I’m not being a sucky friend, am I?”

“Annie, chill out, okay? It’s what friends are for. When you feel bad, you make us feel better… and vice versa, I mean, _especially_ vice versa right now. We feel _really_ bad about what happened last week.” Troy adds in, walking around at the other end of the room.

She sighs in response, her lips twisting into a guilty pout.

“I know… I reacted badly and I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have made you feel that way, you did nothing wrong, I’m just having a hard time dealing with,” She pauses, unsure of how to explain it without _explaining_ it, “everything right now.”

Troy wonders over towards her before perching on the arm of her chair, attempting to act sly.

“It’s because of Jeff, right? Because you know, you two are…” He shakes his head to one side, a smirk tugging at his lips. When he glances at Abed, whose head is still tilted, he flashes his eyebrows up and down. Annie stiffens beside him, keeping the pout on her face as she peers up at him slowly.

“Because… we’re…?” She trails off, trying to pull the words out of him instead of having to say it herself. He doesn’t continue though, he just leans further into her space and makes her feel even more uncomfortable. “Troy…?”

“We know you and Jeff are seeing each other.” Abed cuts in, leaving Troy to watch Annie even closer. He’s almost never seen Annie act so stubborn, her shoulders held outwards like their words are simply bouncing off her. It almost looks cartoonish so he shifts away and tries to comfort her.

“We get why you didn’t tell us, okay? It’s cool, it’s not like we tell you everything that’s going on in our lives, it’s just, we also didn’t go through what you did and we got kinda’ worried that you were hiding it for the wrong reasons. We had to make sure our Annie wasn’t getting mixed up with some douchebag. There are a lot of douchebags out there, Annie. _So_ many.”

He knows he’s got through to her when her eyes drift to the floor and the crease between her brows forms more deeply. Himself and Abed let the silence settle for a moment, allowing her to respond in her own time. When she does, she lifts her head to show her glistening eyes and all of the worries in her expression.

 _“Do you think I’m really stupid?”_ She whispers.

Abed shakes his head but allows Troy to answer. He shrugs.

“No, we think it’s kind of cool, you know, that you finally felt ready to do that. And now that we’ve spoken to him, Jeff seems like a good enough guy. Just maybe tell us next time so that you won’t end up feeling like you have to ask us if you think you’re stupid. You’re the total opposite. You’re _awesome._ ”

Annie starts crying as soon as she goes to speak again.

“Wow, I did a really great job of making you guys feel better!” She sobs and falls so her cheek is resting on the side of Troy’s leg. Abed jumps up to grab a box of tissues and passes them to her as soon as he’s sat back down; she tears a handful out and clutches them to her chest.

When Troy’s hand starts smoothing through her hair, she sniffles.

_“I’m not sure what to do.”_

“Can I take this one?” Abed asks, pointing a finger in the air but only meaning for it to be directed at Troy. He nods and listens.

“Annie, if there’s one thing you’ve taught me, it’s that… you don’t always have to know what to do. You’ll figure it out eventually and if you have good people around you, then they’ll understand why it might take you longer or why it might never make sense to you. I know that might not all be relating to your own personal struggles but, just know that you don’t always have to know what to do.”

Troy lifts his chin up and reaches out his hands, doing a silent handshake and clap with Abed from a distance.

“Yeah, Abed’s right. You don’t always have to have it all figured out. You just do the best that you can and…” He shrugs as she’s watching him, a small smile of hope playing at her lips, “…see what happens.”

* * *

 

Jeff’s aim is to get back inside as quickly as possible, throw his bag of crumpled clothes on the floor and sleep for as long as he possibly can before his alarm rings and he has to go back to work again. He almost follows through with his plan completely. He locks up in the parking lot after a swift, mostly traffic-free drive from his mom’s, he flips open his mailbox in case he’s received any surprise mail and dashes into the elevator before it closes.

He’s in a limbo of feeling partly energised and ready for the next semester ahead but also partly drained from the happenings of the past week and the voices of Annie, his mom and his therapist buzzing around in his mind. He’d like to blame it on not working out over the weekend or for the past couple of days (a run around his mom’s neighbourhood barely counts) but there’s no way of denying it’s to do with more than that.

Slumped into the corner of the elevator, the first view he’s met with when it stops with a jolt and opens is Annie’s doorway, so he takes it a sign because apparently, it’s come down to that now. He tried once but there’s no harm in trying again and if it’s all for nothing, he’ll at least have a story for Susan. She’ll probably be happy to hear about his visit to his mom, even then.

He shakes his head in composure and rips off the band-aid, knocking five or six times once he’s at her door. As he waits, he runs his fingers through his hair and down across his beard.

It opens and his attempt is once again unsuccessful.

“Hello…? Can I help you?” The woman smiles, all wide and round and bubbly. Annie’s TV is flashing brightly behind her, but the _her_ is most definitely not Annie. Her face isn’t familiar but there’s something about her voice which is recognisable. He blinks a couple of times, realising he must look like he’s just seen a ghost. He coughs, to disguise it, deciding the best thing to do is play along with how Annie’s always done it – act like he’s nothing to do with her.

“Um, no, sorry, I guess I got the wrong door. I’ll try again, thanks.”

“Oh… okay. Have a good evening.”

He smiles tightly and turns his back, leaving Shirley behind him.


	15. Thanks for Always Being There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Agh, I don’t know what to do. I always know what to do. I always know what to say, that’s what makes me so great, I can always Winger myself out of something.”
> 
> Britta’s face scrunches up as she debates his statement internally.
> 
> “Eh, you’re facing a dilemma, I’ll let you have that one.”

Jeff mistakes the door knocking for the excruciating headache pounding through his skull. It’s a throbbing sensation with an intensity that has his forehead tensing with pain. Scrunching up his face and gritting down on his teeth doesn’t seem to help anything. It does nothing to dull down the hangover that is tormenting him, nor does shaking his head to try and wake himself up. It does clear his ears though, the knocking finally clear enough to become recognisable.

He knows he isn’t in any fit state to deal with it all right now but the minuscule amount of hope running through his veins makes him pull himself off the couch, wobbling a little, to look through the peephole in case it’s Annie.

He hasn’t heard from her in two and a half weeks unless hearing her dishwasher and Milo crying through the walls counts, but what does he expect? He told her not to come knocking, so if anything, she should be expecting him to push her away if she attempts to do so.

Although his head is still groggy and he can barely hear himself think, the knocking intensifies as he draws closer, as well as a ratty voice which immediately makes him groan. He knows he’s got it bad when he has to cover his mouth from his own nose, booze still lingering on his breath where he fell asleep, drunk and uncaring.

He realises he could leave the door closed but he’s already put himself through enough in the past twenty-four hours so he may as well put up with some more; he deserves it, after all.

When he unlocks the door and pulls it back, he tilts his head and holds himself up on the doorframe with one hand.

Britta looks at him quizzically, taking in his ungroomed beard, his mightily dishevelled hair and the stains on his white vest. Her eyebrow raises at the questionable bow tied at the waist of his sweatpants and her eyes bulge as they drift over to the empty bottles on his coffee table.

“How did you get in ‘ere?” He slurs.

“How are you still _standing?_ ”

He rolls his eyes, avoiding looking towards Annie’s door at all costs.

“Because I’m made of muscle and that’s all I’m good for.”

“Oookay.” Britta takes a step forward but Jeff doesn’t move, he just continues to stare down at her with droopy eyes, “As your friend, colleague and former, I don’t know, _lover_ or whatever, you need to get your shit together! I don’t know what has gone on with you recently but you haven’t answered any of my calls,” She’s started to point directly into his face now, which is when he knows she’s serious (not that he would tell her that), “you’ve been late for all your classes for the past fortnight and your top drawer in your classroom has been converted into an ice box again.”

He shrugs.

“Which by the way, your students are now using as a way to store food instead of having to buy lunch in the cafeteria or bring in crappy sandwiches.” She shakes her head, getting herself back on track, “But that’s not the point. You are letting me in here,” She pushes past him without a fight but immediately steps back when she gets a clearer image of the whole room, “and oh _Jesus,_ you are getting in the shower and I am gonna’ tidy your apartment which currently smells worse than mine and that’s saying a lot because you don’t even do pot! _And I_ don’t clean apartments! This is not my realm!” Britta shakes her hands around and expresses herself more vividly, “But don’t you see? I care about you enough to come over here and snap you out of this!”

Jeff yawns whilst swinging the door closed behind them.

“Go! Get in the shower! And read that message that you know, shows up when the mirror gets all foggy. Oh, and maybe like gulp down a gallon of the water whilst you’re in there. Go!”

She’s waving him on like he’s training for an army or is about to prepare for a marathon when he’s unsure if he could even pick up a feather, or control what comes out of his mouth.

“Do you wann--.”

“No! I don’t want to join you, pig!”

He slumps forward and starts walking, leaving his bedroom door open as he follows her orders.

It takes Britta a good five minutes to find a trash bag in Jeff’s kitchen before she can really get to work but by the sounds of things, he hasn’t even set foot in the shower yet so she probably has enough time to clear around the place. There are three empty beer bottles on the coffee table sat beside a bottle of scotch which has a quarter remaining. There aren’t any glasses in sight, just bottle caps and tissues which she soon realises have been used to dab off oil and tomato sauce from what was presumably a pizza, the box left underneath the table on top of a pile of magazines.

Once she’s neatened that up, she notices that his TV is still on, the screen displaying a floating icon where it’s been left on standby. She scrambles for the remote, finding it once she’s flung pillows and couch cushions across the room.

The next task is the kitchen which is where she finds his glasses, one in the sink and another half full on the counter, the surface wet from where condensation has gathered. There are a couple of takeaway boxes stacked up in one corner, not left out long enough to start smelling but the sight alone is a little repulsive with the left-over contents spilling over the edges. She can handle this sort of thing in her own apartment because then at least it’s her _own_ filth but picking the polystyrene boxes up makes her gag in a whole other way. She may have lived in New York but this is _Jeff,_ the guy who prides himself on his personal image and the fact that he used to live in a condo with custom faucets.

She checks on the fridge but luckily the neglect of his hygiene and self-care has only been a recent development as everything is still intact and fresh. The fridge door catches her attention though, leaving her to part her lips and try not to squeal in case he showers more quickly than expected.

There’s a Post-It note in one corner, scribbled across in his handwriting with a list of to-dos’ ranging from ‘Call personal trainer’ to ‘Cancel spa day’, but none of that interests her. Her attention is drawn to the piece of paper being held up by two circular magnets, below it. The paper is crumpled and creased but the writing is clear along with the watery paint dripped across it.

_Happy Birthday, Jeff. Here’s a one-off masterpiece by Milo – maybe one day you can sell it for thousands. Thanks for always being there. Love, Annie xoxo_

She pulls out her phone and takes a photo and refrains from immediately sending it on to Duncan, fearing that in his current state, it wouldn’t take much for Jeff to contemplate murdering her or at least holding her hostage.

For the rest of the time he’s in the shower, she ends up not only clearing up his mess but also searching for extra clues about how involved Annie is within his life or whether the birthday card is a clue in his sudden spiralling. It wouldn’t make sense for it to be the root cause as it’s nearly February now but maybe it adds up to the overall cause.

When he finally reveals himself, a hoodie thrown over a fresh vest and a pair of jeans, she’s pumping his cushions out of boredom.

“Now are you going to tell me how you got in here?”

“Uhh, we used to hook-up, I know the code into your building.”

He shrugs, his hands jammed into the front pockets of his hoodie.

“Huh, I thought they changed that thing.”

“Yeah and I thought you were doing okay recently.”

He doesn’t say anything to that, just sighs and stares at the carpet.

“Look, I didn’t come here to therapize you or anything… I was just worried about you.”

He scratches under his nose and wonders over to the kitchen, opening the fridge to grab a bottle of water before surprising her by sitting down where she’s settled on one end of his couch.

“Sorry about the uh, shower invitation by the way. I do stupid stuff when I’m messed up, as evident by the three beer bottles and whatever else I drank last night.”

“Yeah… why is that again?”

When he turns his head, he has a smirk plastered across his face and it gives Britta some hope that he’ll be back to his normal self soon.

“Are you _sure_ you’re not trying to therapize me?”

“Jesus Jeff, can we not just talk as two semi-functioning adults?”

He laughs through his nose before going silent again, fiddling with the bottle in his hands.

Britta feels a twinge of guilt for wishing she was slightly less sober for this moment in time, realising it’s been a while since they’ve ever just sat and talked like this, or maybe even realising they never have before.

“I now realise that sex doesn’t solve everything.”

“No shit, Sherlock.” She adds on.

He takes his time, chewing on his lips, pushing them in and out as his eyes flick left and right. He’s a therapist’s _dream_ to analyse, Britta thinks.

“Her son called me Daddy a couple of weeks ago.”

Britta gapes, not needing more of an explanation.

“Shit, that’s a fucking big deal.”

“Yeah. But the weird thing is, I didn’t even react that badly. I kind of just, forgot about it, after a while. I mean, he’s a kid, right? He doesn’t understand how stuff works. But she made me leave, which I guess I deserved.”

“Must have been a pretty big deal for her, as a mom and all.”

“We haven’t spoken to each other in weeks. I guess that’s it.”

The way he’s sat and the way he’s speaking jogs Britta’s memory, sending her back to when Michelle broke up with him; it was like seeing a whole new side of Jeff, the walls he’d built up, visibly crashing down around him. She knows it isn’t easy for him, in fact, it’s near impossible to ever reach those walls without being shot down in her attempt.

“Did you have _feelings_ for her? You know it’s not a big deal if you did.”

“Isn’t it?” He looks at her, sternly. “You and Duncan are always going on about how you can’t wait to find out who I end up with. My mom likes to remind me of how happy she’ll be when I finally settle down. Even my therapist likes to focus on my lack of a relationship, and you’re telling me, it’s _not_ a big deal?”

She does her eye rolling and hand flailing _thing;_ Jeff’s not sure how to describe it accurately, it’s like her whole body does an eye roll to clearly show how unsure she is of what’s about to come out of her mouth.

“ _I_ dunno’, maybe it means something.”

“ _Means_ something? If it means anything at all, it’s just that I’m forty-one and you’re all comparing me to other people my age who are settled down with teenagers by now.”

“ _Or_ maybe you’re just denying what you actually want and we can all see it because we all know that Jeff Winger is actually really mushy under all of his insecure and anxiety ridden bull-crap.”

He shakes his head, leaving it turned so the back of his hair is all she can see of him.

“Wow, you really softened that blow.”

“Whatever, I’m here to make sure you haven’t killed yourself not to make you feel better.”

Neither of them speak for a while with Jeff not wanting to speak and Britta not knowing what to say. She lets out a deep sigh and crosses her feet at the ankles.

“I guess she did a real big number on you, then. Although maybe you did a real big number on each other, I don’t think many people throw around the words ‘love’ and ‘thanks for always being there’ lightly.”

That gets to him. She can see him turning his neck to watch her out the corner of his eye.

“What are you doing snooping in my stuff?”

“I didn’t snoop! You had it in prime position on your fridge.”

He swings back around with a groan, slamming himself back into the couch cushions, his hands up to his face.

“Agh, I don’t know what to do. I always know what to do. I always know what to say, that’s what makes me so great, I can always Winger myself out of something.”

Britta’s face scrunches up as she debates his statement internally.

“Eh, you’re facing a dilemma, I’ll let you have that one.”

He snorts but she doubts it’s at her comment.

“You know what’s ridiculous?” He asks rhetorically, smiling at her, “Remember when I graduated and I stupidly attempted to go at it alone and I lost a bunch of money?” She yawns, expecting him to continue, “That guy who did that crappy commercial for me? Turns out he and his buddy are her best friends.”

“Yeah, that Lycra was _tight._ ”

He raises an eyebrow at her.

“Wait? Seriously?” She catches up.

“Yeah and so, I hung out with them the day before the whole daddy thing happened and they… made me realise that neither I nor she know how to deal with people leaving. I guess she has more of a reason to feel how she feels, I mean, she has a _kid._ She has a valid reason. What do I have? I’m just some selfish jackass who wanted to sleep with her as soon as I saw her.”

“Ugh, I hate how I can relate to the _her_ in that scenario.”

“Yeah, me too. I’m Jeff, right? I’m the dick who sleeps around and goes the gym every day, I can’t handle a _kid._ Sure, I can understand that they don’t know a lot but I can barely handle myself most days. Look what happened to me when I realised I hadn’t spoken to her in almost three weeks.”

“Maybe _that’s_ what it means.”

The look on his face is priceless; part confusion, part disgust and part intrigue.

“This is you without her… and by no means am I saying she’s the answer to all your problems because then I’ll be therapizing the both of you because that’s just all kinds of wrong but… maybe… she helps. I think you’ve just got to work out which part scares you the most. Is it her or is it her kid?”

He huffs out before clenching a fist and holding it against his forehead to curse under his breath.

 _“Fuck._ Can I say… all of it?”

Britta toes his coffee table with her heeled boots, sliding down the couch cushions so she’s mainly resting on her neck so that she can kick up her feet so they’re completely flat. She decides to just let him talk it out himself.

“I do… like her. I can admit that. She’s, you know, funny and smart and she can be as pessimistic as I am if she wants to be but she’s still driven and doesn’t let anybody get in her way. And she’s the _best_ mom. Anyone can see that. But also, anyone can see that she has stuff to work out. What does she think I would do, just leave them? We’re friends, right? It’s not like I’m just going to run away. _She’s_ the one who told me to leave. I would have tried to work it out. I love her kid. He’s amazing and he deserves way more than whatever I got. I _know_ what it feels like for somebody to just walk out on you.”

He doesn’t want to see Britta’s face or know what she’s thinking. He’s not even sure if she wants to be hearing all of this.

“I hate that, that’s what she thinks… and that this all happened in the first place.”

Britta groans beside him.

“Ugh, Jeff, you don’t hate that it happened! You just hate that it was out of your control for a change! Things _happen._ Part of human development is contradicting yourself! You’re messed up! She’s messed up! You’ve been through shit! She’s been through shit! But you love her and she loves you and that’s literally all there is to it. You do _love_ her, right?”

He chews on his lip and glares at her. Trying not laugh, Britta sits up, folding her hands in her lap.

“You know what? I’m not the one who’s supposed to know the answer to that question. You should eat some food, get rid of that _ridiculous_ beard because seriously you look like a homeless guy who ransacked a designer store, and then go and tell the person you _think_ should know the answer.”

Jeff’s hand instinctively goes to his jawline as she stands up and heads for the door. As she opens it, she calls back into the room.

“Hint, she has a ki-.”

“Yeah, I got it.”

* * *

 

“Hey Shirley, would you mind coming over to talk to me about something? Because I’m a twenty-six-year-old who hasn’t got her life together… Hey Shirley, so over the past few months, I’ve been lying to you in the face… Hey Shirley, so I slept with my neighbour... Hey, Shirley, I had meaningless sex with somebody I wanted to have more than meaningless sex with and I need your help.”

Annie stops mid-pacing to hold her phoneless hand to her forehead before continuing to walk back and forth at the foot of her bed, the lights dimmed even though it’s still early evening. Milo had requested for her to read his bedtime story in her room for a change so the apartment is already quiet and ready for sleep.

“Hey Shirley, I know we haven’t really spent much time together personally but I really value your opinion as a mother and a wife… Hey, Shirley, you know all of those work dinners I said I’d been going to? Well, guess what, I was just spending time with the person Milo’s started calling Daddy!... Hey, Shirley is it possible to have a mid-life crisis when your life has barely even started?... Hey Shirley, maybe you should invite me to your church after all so I can meet a good Christian boy who’s saving himself for marriage… Hey Shirley, how do you have a relationship but _also_ be a single mom?”

She takes a deep breath, breaking out of her endless venting to a phone which has yet to connect. She shakes her head before doing a whole-body shake, preparing herself, her thumb over the call button on Shirley’s contact page. It connects soon after, leaving Annie to clear her throat.

“Hey, Shirley.”

“Oh Hello, Annie. Are you off to another one of your fancy work dinners?”

“Um, no, no, not tonight actually. I, um, I actually called for a more personal reason. I don’t need you to babysit or anything like that, Milo’s fast asleep already, I just…” Annie swallows, her eyes flicking around the room, “…I really need to talk to someone about something. I’ve spoken to my friends but I really need a second opinion on this and I know we haven’t spent much time together but I do value your opinion a lot and I think you’re the type of person I need right now. You don’t have to if you can’t, I’ve already taken so much of your time already, I’m just fee-.”

“Do you still have a bottle of wine free in that kitchen of yours?”

Annie nods before remembering Shirley can’t see over the phone.

“Yeah, yes, I think so.”

“Your concern sounds genuine so…” Annie waits for the end of the sentence, an eyebrow raised, “…pop that cork and I’ll be over in twenty. It better be red.”

She smiles, the tears threatening to spill being held back.

“I’ll pay for your gas?”

“Nuh-uh, you’ve been my best paying customer lately, you don’t owe me a dime.”

“Thanks, Shirley.”

“You’re welcome, pumpkin.”

With a sigh of relief, Annie cuts the call and heads to the kitchen, walking around on tip-toes with Milo still stirring and mumbling in his room. She pulls out a bottle of red wine, finds two glasses in the cabinets above head and sets them ready for Shirley’s arrival before pumping some pillows and lighting a candle or two to make the room feel more calming. This exactly what she needs, Annie thinks with a bob of the head. She needs another woman’s opinion, a glass of wine and a relaxing night in.

The past couple of weeks have been mayhem even without her upside-down, Jeff-related emotions. Milo’s been particularly difficult to handle with tantrums and orders being disobeyed and work has been full-on after the New Year and holiday season. The only real signs of Jeff she’s seen as of late are his green light appearing on Facebook and his car’s return in the parking lot; other than, he’s been pretty much non-existent, so much so that she’s barely heard him through the walls.

Sometimes she’ll catch herself waiting for her phone to buzz or for him to knock on the door with coffee. She even waits out a little longer at the park now, just in case he happens to be passing by. If he had any sense in him at all she realises, he would have changed his route by now to ignore her at all costs.

The time spent waiting for Shirley to arrive passes fairly quickly. Troy and Abed have her in a group chat so she sends them some photos of Milo to swoon over and their responses keep the conversation flowing for long enough to entertain her. She signs off when Shirley arrives but they continue to send messages between themselves.

“I’m not much of a wine connoisseur so I can’t tell you if this is any good.”

“It’s good enough for me.” Shirley mumbles as she takes her first sip.

“I really appreciate you coming over at such short notice, I hope I wasn’t interrupting.”

“Oh, you weren’t interrupting. I was just planning on having a bath and watching an episode of Bones.”

“That sounds nice, though. Relaxing.” The way Annie speaks, soft and reserved and almost a little wounded reminds Shirley as to why she’s there. She sits up and puts a hand between them on the couch.

“What is it, then? Mom guilt? Milo’s father didn’t come around, did he?”

Annie looks up, eyes wide as she realises what Shirley is talking about.

“What? No, no, of course not. It’s not really mom guilt, either. Not totally.”

“I’m listening.”

Annie nods, taking a steadying breath, not for the first time this evening, as she loosens her wine glass from the tight the grasp she has on it up near her face.

“I have to be honest with you and I know you might judge me for it or feel offended that I didn’t tell the truth but, I guess I didn’t want the judgement in the moment. So… it might not be much of a surprise but I haven’t really been going to work events recently.”

“I’m _listening._ ”

“I literally never get invited to work things because of being a mom and everything. Nobody invites me but it seemed like the most plausible excuse to use. I’ve… I’ve actually been spending some time with, um… my neighbour. Jeff. He lives at the end, just next door. He welcomed us when we first moved in and was friendly enough… I don’t know, there was just something different about hanging out with him, you know? He didn’t really judge me for Milo and he just didn’t really see it as a big deal. And we…” Annie shrugs, trying not to make a big deal of something herself, “…we had sex. A lot.” She laughs, watching Shirley gulp back more wine and hum against the rim of the glass as if she’s attempting to block it out.

“I guess… I missed that, you know, being with someone? Being a mom _really_ reminds me of how alone I am sometimes. As soon as he’s asleep it’s like, now what?” She’s crying now but she knows she doesn’t need to hide it from anyone, “I really tried to not get Milo involved. At first, I didn’t really worry because we were just friends and if anything happened it wouldn’t really have affected him but then… we started spending more time together and Jeff would just always be there and then he started sleeping over and I know I shouldn’t have let him but again, it just… felt so _nice._ ”

When she continues, she has to wipe tears away from her cheeks and sniff out so she can breathe.

“And I really did try. I really tried. But I guess my worst nightmare came true because I’ve fallen for somebody who doesn’t want _us.”_  Her voice is shaky and her body is stiff where she’s hunched over her bent up knees but Shirley is still listening intently, not quite showing her emotions or thoughts yet. “Maybe he wants _me_ but I don’t think he wants a kid, even if he can deal with it. People don’t want this, do they?” It’s not rhetorical but Shirley still doesn’t answer. She just responds with her own question.

“What did you say his name was?”

“Um,” Annie sniffs, “Jeff.”

“Jeff, huh? Mhm, I knew I’d heard that name before.”

“Oh god, this isn’t where you tell me you already know him, is it? That already happened with Troy and Abed, I don’t need it to happen again.”

“ _I_ don’t know him but your boy Milo certainly does.”

Annie frowns in confusion.

“Yeah, he told me, and trust me, no man in their right mind picks up a child from daycare if they’re not interested.”

“Milo… _told_ you that? You didn’t tell me.”

“Oh, I know, I presumed it was either none of my business or you’d get around to telling me eventually. I suppose I was right to do that.”

“Do you think I’m a bad mom?”

Shirley puts her wine glass down on the coffee table before leaning into the couch cushions, her eyebrows raised.

“Do I look like I would be here if I thought you weren’t a good mom? Come on Annie, you should know this by now. Why in this world do you think you’re a bad mom?”

“Because I made Milo fall for him too?”

“And who’s to say this boy hasn’t fallen for the _both_ of you?”

Annie tilts her head, unsure.

“Have you even told this man how you feel?”

“No but-.”

“No buts! Annie, sweetie, you’re not a bad mom if you put yourself first for a change. Love is a gamble, whether it’s within your family or your love life.”

“That’s what I tried to do. Spending time with Jeff _was_ me putting myself first.”

“But by the sounds of things you were spending time with him _and_ thinking about how Milo feels. Milo is three-years-old. He has you and you are _more_ than enough. A good kid, who is raised right, will always want their parents to be happy too and I _know_ he will. If Milo wants you to be happy, then you’re allowed to be happy. He’ll learn. He’ll realise when he’s older that you had to carry on as normal.”

“Are you sure he won’t hate me?”

“ _Hate_ you? Woman, you’re sat here crying because you care so much about he feels. He’ll _love_ you for that, I know he will.”

Another tear falls but this time it trails down Annie’s cheek into a smile.

“What does he look like anyway? He has to be something special for you to want to jump his bones so fast.”

“Shirley!” Annie gasps, emitting a laugh, her smile growing wider. She rolls her eyes. “I have a photo on my phone.”

“Mhm, I bet you do.”

“ _Shirley!_ ” They laugh together as Annie slips her hand into her pocket and swipes through her camera roll when she retrieves her phone. She clicks on the most recent photo she can find which clearly has Jeff in frame, passing it to Shirley.

“So that’s who knocked on your door the other week.”

“What?” Annie looks at her, puzzled.

“The last time I was over, he knocked on the door and said he had the wrong one.”

“He _knocked?”_

“He sure has heck better _not_ have had the wrong one otherwise you should stay far _far_ away from this man.”

“No, no, he had the right one. He knew you didn’t know.”

Annie smiles shyly, watching Shirley continue to stare down at her screen.

“Well, he’s a little older than I expected but you know what, that’s not always a bad thing. Plus, oof, those shoulders are a work of _art._ Mhm, I can see him on a magazine cover or a four-page spread. How many other attractive men have you got hiding in your apartment block?”

Annie sips her wine, grinning.

“ _You_ are _unbelievable._ ”

“Mhm.” She winks and passes Annie her phone back. “Hubba Hubba.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave your thoughts in the comments! What could ever happen next?! ;)


	16. I Know You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When she gets to his door it feels eerily like the first night they spent together except it’s morning and it’s bright and the apartment feels alive and thriving rather than dull, dark and mysterious. She almost takes that on as a spark to feed her confidence, like the brightness means something, that maybe this time things will work out for the better.

When she gets to his door it feels eerily like the first night they spent together except it’s morning and it’s bright and the apartment feels alive and thriving rather than dull, dark and mysterious. She almost takes that on as a spark to feed her confidence, like the brightness means something, that maybe this time things will work out for the better.

Talking to Shirley last night was, as she suspected, just what she needed and there’s no time like the present so she’s decided to just go with it. She’ll knock, talk and work it out responsibly, and she’ll have Milo there to soften the blow if necessary. Kids are good for that; happy and full of questions to fill awkward moments with.

She takes a breath like that night but her knock comes faster and louder and with no time for second thoughts. She tells Milo to stop scuffing the floor so she can hear if there’s anything happening behind the door. She rattles her fist a second time, waiting again and listening in, even leaning in a little so her ear is almost pressed up against the wood.

Milo catches on to the fact that she’s receiving no response so he straightens up and pouts a little before loudly calling out.

“Jeff! Jeeffff…!”

Annie smiles and sighs, ruffling her hand in his hair.

She supposes there is the chance of him being in the shower or even completely absent from the apartment altogether but then it’s an early hour and if he’s up this early he’ll be running and he usually showers after and not before and suddenly it all clicks into place. Even if he _has_ changed his route, there’s a chance she’ll pass him on the way back, and even if he is just genuinely not responding, leaving more time and trying again later will probably be more productive than standing there in disappointment.

“Do you want to go see if he’s at the park?”

Milo nods before taking her hand and walking beside her toward the elevator. The doors slide open instantly but only because the cart has been waiting at their floor, much to Annie’s hopeful heart believing it might be a coincidental arrival of a certain somebody. The hope doesn’t fade as she spends the journey downstairs playing out the scenario that _she’ll_ be the one arriving when the doors open to him. She even squints to brace herself for seeing him when the doors do finally open, but she’s only met with the cool air which fills the apartment lobby where people are going in and out. Before they go outside she makes sure that Milo’s gloves are pulled on properly and that his hood is holding his hat down nicely to protect him from the late-January weather.

She must either be so frantically wanting to work out where Jeff is or so freezing cold that her body drives them to walk quicker than usual, making the trip to the park seem short and sweet. It’s pretty much deserted when they arrive which is no surprise because it’s winter and all the kids are either bundled up inside or filling up the indoor play parks which Annie has yet to discover with her tight schedule. A few dog walkers scatter the area alongside the odd jogger covered up in tight running gear and a fleece, so her hope is yet fleeting.

Although her eyes are skimmed for anybody resembling Jeff, she keeps a closer eye on Milo than usual, making sure that his gloves don’t lose him any grip on the rails and handles of the wooden bridge and climbing frames.

“Look, Mommy, I’m the king of the castle!”

“Wow!” Her eyes widen enthusiastically, her own glove covered hands clasped in front of her face.

She sits on a bench nearby when she’s sure that Milo is stable enough to wander and run around freely. When she looks up and around she notices that there is some blue sky breaking from behind the thick white clouds and it suddenly feels a degree or two warmer, even if it is just an illusion and Greendale’s micro-climate playing with her mind.

She checks her phone as Milo is pre-occupied, skimming through Facebook in case Jeff has left any clues of his whereabouts. He hardly ever posts though, just the rare and accidental sync-up of his sports watch, sending data to all his friends about how far he’s run or how many steps he’s taken. He told her once that he doesn’t know how to disconnect the function so he has to delete the posts manually but sometimes he just leaves them up to brag about it. She’d rolled her eyes and he’d kissed her neck and then pinned her down against her pillows.

She wonders if she should be the one to get the ball rolling rather than waiting for the perfect scenario, so she digs her phone out of her bag and mulls it over, slowly tugging her gloves off so she can start tapping on Jeff’s name in her text messages, before clicking back to the main list again. She repeats this over and over until the screen can’t catch up with her repetitive actions so much so that it closes the app before she has another chance to continue.

Her phone isn’t the only one telling her not to though because Milo is calling her over, pointing towards the wooden floor at the top of the slide, which means she has to put it back in her bag again so she can push the stroller over towards him. The handle of the stroller has gone ice cold where she hasn’t been holding it for a while meaning she has to rub her hands together when she reaches up to see what Milo is talking about.

“There’s a spider.”

“There’s a spider?”

“Yeah, and it’s going to get cold, Mommy.”

Annie tilts head and smiles sweetly, reaching up to stroke a hand down his coat covered arm.

“Aw no sweetie, you don’t have to worry about a spider getting cold.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s a spider and it walks about and does what it wants in the cold. You don’t have to worry about it, okay? Are you gonna’ go down the slide?”

“Can you take a photo?” Milo asks, swaying from side to side with his hands clasped ready to sit down and fly down the plastic slope in front of him.

“Okay, you sit down and I’ll just get my phone out again.”

He does just that, sitting patiently as Annie picks out her phone from the top of her bag. She’s tempted to give it one last shot, send a message whilst Milo is waiting but thinks better of it with the cold and all. She crouches down so she can take a photo with everything in shot before telling him to let go so she can film him too, cheering on as he throws his hands up in the air and slides down within two seconds. He stands up triumphantly at the end.

“I did it!”

“Good job, sweetie.”

“Can you take another one?”

“Okay, stand still then.”

Milo sticks his tongue out and holds his hands up to his face and Annie squeals despite herself.

“Do you want a photo of the both of you?”

She turns around at the voice, looking up to see Jeff tugging his headphones out of his ears which are red at the tips to match his nose. She must look like she’s had the air taken out of her, especially when she takes a deep breath in surprise. Standing up and making sure Milo isn’t going anywhere, she faces him for the first time in what feels like forever. And God, did she miss him. Just looking up at his face makes her realise how real he is; he isn’t just some distant dream or a fuzzy blur of a memory.

“What are you doing here?”

He would usually come up with an excuse, now. It’s a sort of, fill-in-the-blank question. He could just say he was running, which is true, but firstly he usually sticks with the treadmill in colder months and when he has been running lately he’s been avoiding this route altogether. He decides if he’s going to be honest, he’ll be the most honest version of honest. He’ll tell the truth.

“Looking for you. I guess it was worth the risk of freezing my ass off.”

Annie nods in response, unsure of what to say, not quite ready to admit she was looking for him too.

“Look, can we sit down? I really need to talk.”

“Yeah, okay, I can’t be too long though because Milo’s not supposed to be out in this cold.”

“Right, yeah, I’ll try not to take too long.”

He’s about to start reading her expression to try and work out how to go about things but Milo decides to cut in before he gets the chance.

“Jeff! What’s Jeff doing here?”

Annie glances up at Jeff from the corner of her eye and he has a smile playing on his lips but it’s obvious he’s not sure of how much he should put on show.

“Jeff’s just going to talk to me over there, okay? We’ll be on that bench. Make sure you keep your hat and gloves on and if they come off, you come over, okay?”

“Okay.”

He doesn’t move away until they’ve started walking, staying put until they’re sat down where Annie said they would be.

“You must be freezing.” Is the first thing Annie can think to say, sitting on his right with her legs crossed over and her hands in her lap, her gloves still off from using her phone. She can see Milo still exploring, the stroller deserted between him and the bench. Jeff’s only wearing a hoodie and whatever t-shirt he has on underneath, on top, and his legs are barely covered even though he has shorts and a pair of running leggings on, hitting him mid-calf. If it wasn’t for their current situation, she would have laughed.

“Yeah, I’m getting a little cold now.”

He watches her and she does laugh then because they’re sat in the middle of a park on a bitterly cold day not knowing how to act around each other.

“I’ll start with saying what I tried to say before and I’m not going to apologise, you can tell me if you think I should, obviously. I’m also not going to sit around feeling bad about anything anymore because… I get it, okay? Fuck, I’ve been scared myself, before. I’m always scared. That’s the reason I don’t do this, at all, ever. You’re scared that whoever you end up with is going to leave a gaping hole and you’re not going to be able to deal with how Milo reacts, at least, I think that’s it. If not, you’re really going to have to help me out here.”

He’s not done but he takes a pause to look at Annie, to truly look her in the eye. She shivers but she knows it’s not just from the cold.

“But, if you want me to be in your life then, you have to know that I wouldn’t do that. I promise. I have first-hand experience in it and I could never do that to you, or Milo, or you know, myself. And if anything ever did happen then I can settle for being that creepy uncle that you once slept with.” She rolls her eyes at that and it’s his turn to realise how much he missed _her,_ “But I don’t think that will be a problem because I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you.”

As he says it, she’s facing Milo, making sure he isn’t climbing too high or squeezing himself through gaps too small, so when she hears the words loud and clear, her eyes are bug wide.

“I don’t mean just you. I mean, you, Milo… us.”

The temperature and the weather and the most probably snow filled clouds don’t matter anymore because the word ‘us’ is enough to heat her whole body.

“You love me?”

He doesn’t know what to say because his mind is spinning at a thousand miles per hour and he’s pretty sure this a moment in his life he won’t ever be forgetting. Or regretting; even if he’s almost certain this is how he feels, it doesn’t stop the small amount of uncertainty raging through him, so he _hopes_ he won’t regret it.

His nod must be enough because a smile appears on her face gradually, her eyes brightening. She turns back to Milo again, watching him darting in and out in his own little world, picking up sticks and poking them into the wooden slats of the bridge. When she returns her attention to Jeff, she lets all selflessness go.

“I love you too.”

He stares at her, continuing with his nervous silence.

“And you’re right, the only reason I’ve been like this is because, I don’t know, I guess I’m too good at being a mom.”

He laughs and they smile and the silence isn’t tense anymore, it’s just what they need in order to soak each other in.

“Speaking of that, if you could maybe give me some time to adjust a little, I’d appreciate it. You’ve had three years to get to know,” He tilts his head in Milo’s general direction, “you know, so…”

“I’ll try. I’m sorry if I throw you in at the deep end or I come across really overpowering and controlling but… I’ve never done this. I’ve had the odd helping hand but if this is what you want then…”

“Of course.” He shakes his head and frowns, wondering why she’d say it like that, “And feel free to throw me in at the deep end. I’m all in. I love you. Even if that’s kind of terrifying to say aloud.”

“It is a little, huh?” Annie tilts her head and pouts along with a smile, blowing out hot breath into the cold air, her shoulders stiffening in the breeze.

“Mommy, I’m cold!” Milo calls out whilst walking towards them. Jeff smirks a little, looking down at himself compared to Milo in his multiple layers. Him calling out for Annie reminds him of something though, so he tilts himself back so he can talk to the side of her.

“By the way, Milo can call me whatever he wants, so as long as there’s no pressure.”

She has enough time to smile appreciatively before Milo is slamming his hands into her lap.

“Okay, we should go, sweetie. Plus, I think Jeff is getting a little cold too.”

“And the spider!”

Jeff shakes his head, lost.

“He saw a spider and thought it might be getting cold.”

“Oh. Hm… no, you don’t need to worry about a spider getting cold, buddy.”

“That’s what Mommy said.”

“Yeah well, she’s right.”

“Right then, let’s go.” She goes to stand up but has to ask Jeff a question first, “Wait, you are going home right? I haven’t just roped you into coming with us?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m going home. I just need to change and then I could… come over to yours?” He raises an eyebrow.

“Yeah, okay. Do, um, mind getting the stroller?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Annie grabs Milo and holds him on her hip as Jeff dashes over to get the stroller. She forgets the wheels are locked so she’s momentarily confused by his struggle as it doesn’t budge when he pushes it forward. She puts a palm to her forehead before walking over to join him as quickly as I can.

“Sorry, I forgot, I put it on lock so it wouldn’t roll away. You just have to…” She unclips the lock in one swift motion of her thumb, leaving Jeff to tilt his head in annoyance at how easy it was.

“Look at that, learning things already.”

“Okay, _Dad.”_ Annie smirks at him and he knows she’s only teasing but the word settles in the air and it scares him how little it well, scares him. To avoid Milo hearing, he ducks his head to her left shoulder and whispers through her hair.

_“By the way, you can call me whatever you want too. You know, if you’re into that.”_

She swats him immediately, repositioning Milo once she’s done before deciding he should probably be wrapped up in the seat for the walk home. She stands in front of the stroller, shaking her head, trying not to grin too hard as Jeff does the same thing back.

He doesn’t seem to want to swap positions when she rounds the back of the stroller, so he pushes on, leading the way with Milo tucked up in the seat in front.

“You did _not_ just say that.”

* * *

 

“Hmm, oh god I missed you.” Jeff murmurs, licking and nipping at the curve of Annie’s hip, her camisole rolled up to the top of her chest, her pyjama bottoms still on and tucked up under the sheets.

She hums at the site of him kissing every inch of her skin and arcs against him when he moves slowly upwards.

“I was driving myself crazy.”

“Because you love me?” Annie asks, biting on her lip as she trails her hands over his shoulders. He still has his shirt on so he teases her fingernails underneath the neck.

“Something like that.” He scratches a nail over her nipple and it’s enough to have her scrambling to take her pants off.

He’s crawling over her all hard and warm and strong when Milo calls from the other room.

“Was that Milo?” Annie asks, just to make sure she’s not imagining it.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Ow, okay, I’m sorry, I should go check on him. He’s been kind of difficult with sleeping lately.”

Jeff falls onto his back, not putting up a fight because this is what he has to deal with now. She kisses him on the temple before jumping off the bed, looking back when she gets to the door. He has one knee up and his sweatpants don’t leave anything to the imagination about he’s feeling right now.

“Put that away.”

He grins up at her, craning his neck against the pillows he’s laid back on.

“I will when you’re done with me.”

He can hear her groan as she walks into the living room, followed by her inaudible voice as she comforts Milo. He tugs the sheets over him whilst she’s gone before looking around the room, his eyes landing on a frame of a new-born Milo. He’s barely recognisable, just a reddish blur with his eyes closed and a dusting of hair across his head. For a moment, he wonders what he was doing on that day.

“Hey… can I be a lazy mom and let him sleep in here tonight? I just know I’m going to have to keep getting up and down otherwise.” Annie asks from the doorway, Milo sleepily leaning on her shoulder.

“Uhh… yeah, sure.” He sits up as she closes the door behind them, stuffing a pillow between himself and the sheets because his body hasn’t quite caught up with the fact that the mood is most definitely not back on.

When Annie talks again, she’s almost whispering, dropping her voice to a hushed tone and rocking Milo as she makes the bed more comfortable for him.

“You can sleep in the middle okay because Jeff’s here tonight.”

Milo only grizzles, rubbing his face into the pillow he falls back on, his hands going to his face.

“Shh, good boy. Have a good dream, okay?”

Jeff feels a little on the outside as Annie continues to soothe him, so he settles down and waits a moment before asking for his phone. He whispers, just in case.

_“Hey, can you pass me my phone?”_

Annie doesn’t answer, she just reaches over to her nightstand and passes it to him over Milo whose eyes are opening and closing. Annie gets her own phone to fiddle around with too so Jeff realises that’s probably it for the night. He’s scrolling through Twitter when Annie sees his brows furrow in confusion at the notification on his screen.

ANNIE: Sorry if I ruined your evening :P

He turns his head and smiles, licking his lips as he starts typing a reply.

JEFF: It’s not a big deal

ANNIE: You sure?

JEFF: Yes

JEFF: Unless you’re planning on never sleeping with me again

ANNIE: I’ll think about it ;)

JEFF: Oh will you now?

ANNIE: Stop. We’re not sexting with Milo in the bed.

He grins, trying not to laugh.

JEFF: I never said anything about sexting.

ANNIE: Yeah but I know you. You’ll take it too far.

JEFF: Pfft.

He rolls his eyes and shakes his head at her and she stifles a laugh with the sheets up to her face. He doesn’t reply or whisper or say something with eyes again so she wonders what he’s thinking.

ANNIE: Are you okay?

JEFF: Yeah, why?

ANNIE: I don’t know, you’ve just been a little quiet this evening.

JEFF: Well I would have been loud if you hadn’t had put Milo in the bed.

ANNIE: That’s not what I mean.

JEFF: I’m fine.

She bites her lip and watches him.

ANNIE: Are you freaking out a little?

He doesn’t respond immediately. His eyes flick over Milo and his lips pout outward in thought.

JEFF: Maybe.

ANNIE: We’ll just take each day as it comes. And don’t feel like you have to be super hands on with Milo. I still want us to enjoy being together :)

He shakes his head at her when she watches for his expression to change or say something before his words do.

JEFF: I want to be hands on. And I want to spend time with you.

JEFF: Whatever you want, I’ll be there.

Annie has to take a deep breath to take in his words, settling her eyes on Milo.

ANNIE: I’m sorry for not handling things well. You deserved better than that.

JEFF: You deserve more though.

When they smile at each other, Milo huffing out air between them, neither of them need or have to say it but Annie knows it’s not about that. It’s about what she wants.

 _“I love you.”_ She mouths.

JEFF: I love you too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn’t have much time to write this past week, hence posting on a Tuesday (that’s the new update day, just so you know). Also, I hope the reason this chapter is a little shorter makes sense. I don’t think it needed much more... it kind of speaks for itself.


	17. That's That

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annie even joked about it once, about imagining if she’d just somehow ended up at Greendale instead and it didn’t even seem that unreasonable. She probably would have been the bright and motivated spark the school needed and he would have fallen to his knees as soon as he set eyes on her. But Milo? What if Milo had pushed him away, made the whole situation fall apart at the seams? He doesn’t like to think about it. Annie would tell him he doesn’t need to think about it.

“No, Milo, stop doing that to Jeff.”

“It’s fine, he’s not hurting me.”

“He might not be but he needs to learn how to be gentle.”

Jeff moves Milo’s grabbing hands from where he’s placed them onto his face, scratching at his cheeks and pulling out his face to try and make Jeff pull a humorous expression. He’s sat in his lap, grinning from ear to ear as he carries on ignoring Annie, his hands going right back from where Jeff removed them.

“Milo, no, stop it, otherwise you’ll have to go and play in your room alone.”

Jeff still hasn’t quite got the knack for following Annie’s orders either when it comes to reprimanding Milo. It’s not that he antagonises him but he’s yet to feel confident in actually putting his foot down as a voice of authority, so he often comes across as encouraging. Annie knows that’s not intentional but it’s hard to get used to.

“Jeff… stop him.”

He finally hears her loud and clear, taking Milo’s hands away before lifting him to the ground.

“Hey buddy, you have to be gentle when playing with people. Don’t grab at their faces, okay?”

“Sorry, Jeff.” Milo mumbles before turning around to lie on the floor. Annie notices Jeff slump back into the couch which makes her roll her eyes. She sits down next to him, a drying cloth still in her hands where she’s been cleaning up the kitchen.

“You don’t have to feel guilty for teaching him to not do something.”

Jeff rolls his head against the cushions to look at her.

“He wasn’t really doing anything _that_ bad.”

She mirrors his position, ignoring Milo’s grumbles as he rubs himself all over the carpet trying to grab their attention.

“Did he ask you if you wanted to have your face played with?”

“What, are you teaching him consent already?”

“Yes!” Annie’s eyes widen as she points a cloth covered finger at him, attempting to prove her point, “Exactly! And, again, he needs to be _gentle._ ”

Jeff’s not watching her now though, his eyes are trained on Milo who’s sticking out his tongue and trying to make him laugh from where he’s lying down upside down.

“ _All_ I’m saying is, you don’t have to feel bad for telling him off. I trust you to do that now.”

Milo finally stands up and stretches before falling forward towards Jeff so he ends up kneeling with his chin on one his knees.

“Is Mommy telling you off, huh?”

“Yeah.” Milo grins, biting his lip as he looks towards Annie who looks rather unimpressed.

“What have I got myself into?” Annie sighs as she gets up, leaving them be. She stops short though, remembering something, “Oh, by the way, I was thinking…” She starts trailing a finger behind the couch as she draws closer again, making Jeff’s head tilt back so he can see her, “You know when we go and see Troy and Abed… maybe you could invite Britta and your friend Ian you said I should probably meet at some point…”

“Yeah… that’s not happening.”

“What? Why?”

“Because… it’s not.” He makes the word ‘because’ last longer than necessary before scooping up Milo and dropping him down beside him, passing over his phone as a distraction. Annie rolls her eyes and snatches it off of him, putting it down on the kitchen counter.

“I should be able to meet someone who’s important to you and what if everyone gets along and it ends up being a really great idea and we get together every month and it tur-.”

“Annie, you’re not meeting Ian especially not with Milo around and… you’re not seeing Britta because… just, because.”

“Just because!” Milo parrots, making Jeff snort.

“Jeff, we can we talk in the other room?”

“Are you _mad_ at me?”

“No, I’m not mad but sometimes I want to talk to you alone.”

He follows her before turning his head over his shoulder to call back to Milo.

“Milo, don’t go in the kitchen.”

“’Kay.”

When Jeff joins Annie in her bedroom, she has her arms crossed and her eyebrows pointed in a glare.

“What?”

“Did you not tell them?”

Jeff scratches the inside of his ear, avoiding her eyeline.

“Tell who?”

Her glare deepens.

“Okay, look, I just don’t need the pressure right now, I know they’re going to make a big deal out of it.”

“They knew about us before? Come on Jeff, it’s almost been a month.”

“But it’s not just us now. And Britta will be all ‘How come you haven’t moved in together? Oh, so, I guess you’ll be getting married soon! Have you knocked her up yet? Is Milo calling you Daddy for real now?’”

“So, what? You’re just not going to tell them until it’s so obvious that they’ll become personally offended that you don’t trust to tell them, so it will end up being worse than if you’d just told them in the first place?”

He tries to hold back a glare of his own by chewing on the inside of his lip. She’s really good at cutting to the chase like that.

“Have you even told your mom yet?”

“It took me like two years for me to tell her I wasn’t a lawyer anymore so maybe bear with me on that one.”

She casts him a look full of judgement, her head craning forward slightly. He sighs and reaches out for her shoulders, smoothing circles over them with his thumbs.

“I get why you want me to tell them and I will, okay? Just give me some time.”

A forgiving smile slowly appears on her face as they stare at one another, Jeff’s hands still making patterns across her skin. They do this sometimes, just look each other in the eye or hold eye contact across a room when they want to talk between themselves.

“I know, I’m sorry. I just want to make sure we’re on the same page with everything.”

“We are.”

“Plus… I’m pretty sure my brother was the one to tell my mom and he only found out through Facebook.”

“See?” He tilts his head and squints up his whole face before starting to smooth his thumb from her shoulder to the crease of her frown before leaning down to kiss it away instead. She rolls her eyes and pouts out her lips partly in shyness and partly in an attempt to make him kiss her there too. When he does, he slips his hands around her waist.

“We should talk alone more often.”

“Hmm.” She hums against him and it’s almost a perfectly interrupted moment behind closed doors when Milo decides to start calling out.

“Mommy!”

Jeff continues to hold her close, not ready to let her go yet.

“Daddy!” Milo quietens for a second, “Jeff!”

“Wait, what you said earlier… about what you think Britta would say. Do you… do you think we should move in together?”

“What?”

“What?”

“Nothing. I was just predicting what she’ll say. Unless… you…?”

“Hmm? No, I mean, no, unless it would… make things, um, I don’t-.”

“Mommy!”

“Coming!”

* * *

 

“Mr Winger, how are we supposed to put any of this into practice if you won’t even show us how it’s really done?”

Jeff crosses his arms and stands a little taller from behind his desk at the front of the class. It’s full of dozens of pairs of eyes staring right at him and he likes that pressure in a way, knowing that he’s expected to feed them new information or reinforce the obvious. He likes the pressure of knowing they rely on him even if he does it half-heartedly and is mainly spewing out the basics just to let time pass by.

“That’s a great question Garrett and maybe I _would_ show you if you actually asked me questions which are more thought-provoking than ‘am I ambidextrous’ because I just wrote two words with different hands so both sides of the class can see what I’m writing. Anyone else want to enlighten me with their queries?” Luckily the only hand that raises belongs to a student he knows the name of, “Dave?”

“When are you going to teach us more about jury nullification?”

“When we do a mock trial and we set up a jury.” Jeff tilts his head the other way to face Garrett again, “Does that answer your question, Garrett?” Jeff’s almost certain it’s enough to silence him.

“A mock trial is something we should have done earlier in the semester.”

Jeff rolls his eyes.

“Never said it would be this semester Garrett. I’ll get to work on it over spring break and we’ll start when you all come back. I’ll get one of you nerds to help me but only if you, I don’t know,” He throws a finger towards a table at the back of the class, “write your name down on that piece of paper over there.”

There’s a general murmuring of intrigue as students turn their heads and scout down the sheet. Jeff expects to find two names and probably a sketch of a penis by the time they’ve all left; it is Greendale after all.

“And hey, maybe I’ll throw in some free credits along the way too. So, sign up people.”

“Mr Winger, are you allowed to do that?”

He shrugs at Garrett whilst he tries to ignore a couple of students who are still gazing towards the back of the room. It can’t be at the piece of paper because they’ve been turned away too long now.

“I don’t know and I don’t care. My class, my rules. Speaking of which, class dismissed. Remember to read that chapter again and finish those five hundred words by Thursday. _Use_ spell check.”

He brushes a hand down his face as chairs squeak against the floor and the class scrambles to pick up their belongings and vacate the room. As expected, less than a handful of people linger back to put pen to paper at the back of the class, leaving it mostly deserted for him to wander around and mindlessly push a few chairs back under desks properly. It’s his last class before his lunch break so he decides to leave writing notes and summarising what they managed to finish until he’s back in his office.

From a distance, he spies a lonesome pen on one of the desks. He plans to pick it up and put it on the pot on his own desk, either to use himself or for it to be reclaimed the next time its owner shows their face but upon close inspection, the end has been chewed off and the plastic has cracked and he ends up just throwing it in the trash can from where he’s standing. He bobs his head when it successfully lands with a clang.

“I’m not interrupting classroom basketball, am I?”

He jumps, his whole body flinching in surprise. Annie’s stood in the doorway, dressed from work, her bag over her shoulder.

“What are you doing here?”

“I have the afternoon off because they’re doing some sort of construction at work. Thought I’d just drop in.”

“How did you know where my class is?” Jeff asks, walking towards her. When he reaches her, he finds her hands with his own, playing with her fingers. She’s not looking up because her eyes are trailing down his arms where his shirt is rolled up at the sleeves, his outfit obviously portraying his smart yet laid-back approach to teaching.

“I think I spoke with the Dean? Bald with glasses?”

“Yeah, that’s him.”

“He seems to really like you.”

“Yeah, let’s not talk about that.” He grimaces, “I would have thought you would have gone and picked up Milo early if you had time off.”

“I’m paying for him to be there and… I kind of need a little breather.” Jeff nods, understandingly.

She rises up on her tippy toes to peck his lips just once and even though it’s as light as a feather, his eyes still close and his hands still grip on tighter. When his eyes open again, their smiles are matching.

“I called my mom by the way.”

Her fingers loosen around his, surprised.

“What? You did?”

He did, last night in fact, when he had work to do and Milo was being a handful so it was easier to go back to his own apartment for the night. And it was terrifying and nerve-racking but there was a small part of him that must have known what her reaction was going to be so it was also rather relieving.

“Hey, Mom.”

“Oh, hi sweetie, good timing actually because I just got in from seeing your Aunt Marie.”

“Oh, that’s nice.” He’d said with faux-enthusiasm, wanting to get to the point as fast as possible in order to rip off the band-aid.

“Let me just sit down, okay? I walked there so I’m a bit tired.”

“Okay.”

There was some shuffling over the phone, some knocking and patting and a landline ringing in the distance.

“You comfortable yet?”

“One second, honey.” The ringing stopped which he presumed meant she’d cut the call, “It was just one of those spam callers, they’re so irritating, you know what I mean?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, I’m sat down now. How are you?”

“I’m okay, I’m sorry I haven’t been over, just been busy with work and all.”

“No, no, it’s okay. What did you want to talk to me about, then?”

He’s sure his heart had been pounding out of his chest, those nostalgic jittery nerves made him feel younger than he’d felt in years.

“I’ve, uh, I’ve got some news, actually.”

“Oh, really? Is it good news?”

“Uh,” He’d thought about it. _Was_ it good news? It wasn’t bad news but he’d never really thought about it in that context; good or bad. But then again, before any of it, he’d never thought about it at all. The possibility of everything happening hadn’t crossed his mind, “Um, yeah, I guess.”

“I’m listening.”

“So, I kind of… met someone, I guess.” He sensed her smile, “Does, uh, the name Annie ring any bells?”

“Mhm, possibly.”

“She has a kid, actually.”

“When do I get to meet them?”

He’d laughed before rubbing his hand across his forehead.

“Mom, I haven’t finished yet.”

And he never did, not really because that’s all there was to it. She wasn’t interested in knowing anything more or how it’s all working out, she just wanted to know when she’s able to play her part in it all. Of course, she had questions, like whether her kid was a boy or a girl or whether the father was in the picture but he’d expected a lot worse, or just a lot _more._ But that was his mom – non-judgemental, just happy if he’s happy or if anyone else is happy because for so long, she wasn’t.

“What did she say?” Annie asks, concern in her voice.

“She wants to meet you.”

He bit his lip, trying not to let Annie’s smile get to him.

“Yeah, you’re not getting out of this easily now. She’s my mom, she’s all or nothing.”

“Have you met me? We seem like we’ll get along perfectly.”

He’s about to lean down and kiss her again when yet another person walks through his door without warning.

“Ugh, Jeff, finally, I’ve been looking all over for y-. Oh… hey… Annie…” Britta trails off, not sure how to react to seeing Annie in the room with him, her hands on his chest now. “Wait, are you two…?”

Jeff nods and rubs under his nose.

“Huh. Um… cool, nice to see you, um, I’ll just text you. Later!” Britta darts out of the room, heels clicking, and that’s that.

* * *

 

Annie’s assumption that she’d get on with his mom like a house on fire was accurate and correct, Jeff concludes, sitting in the armchair of the room Milo is spending the night, his hand slowing to a stop from where he’s been rubbing circles on his back, soothing him back to sleep from where he’d woken up not knowing where he was.

They’d spent most of the day together because of Annie and the house on fire or whatever the analogy Jeff is too tired to remember, meaning Milo needed someone’s full attention as his mom chewed Annie’s ear off with whatever she had to say about parenting and being alone or whatever else they could relate to.

He made sure to avoid Milo knocking over any of his mom’s ceramic ornaments at toddler-grabbing height and made sure he didn’t go too far upstairs on his own devices, and when his mom decided to show Annie round her tiny back yard of a garden, he watched cartoons with him when he was too shy to explore outside, and now, for the first time, he’s waiting until Milo is fast asleep in his arms in order to place him back down in his travel crib, lent to his mom by one of his cousins he hasn’t seen in years.

Annie’s downstairs alone, Doreen fast asleep by now, watching TV without worrying about the volume due to the distance of Milo and the living room. Jeff can hear her laugh from time to time though, just a small, light and appreciative giggle, probably emitted underneath a cushion she’s tucked up under her chin.

The past few weeks have flown by, leaving him with little chance to really understand every feeling he’s been feeling. If he hasn’t been at work, he’s been at Annie’s apartment and if he hasn’t been _with_ Annie, he’s been with Milo, and if he hasn’t been with Milo, he’s been back at his own apartment to finish up work so he’s _able_ to see them both. It’s been a giant learning curve, like the trajectory of a vertical roller coaster that never seems to come back down. It reminds him of being disbarred just minus the fear of losing all his money and having to reduce himself to four years in a community college. He’s learning everything from scratch again, except there are no manuals or instructions or guidelines or anybody there to tell you how to act or feel. Besides his therapist. He hasn’t had time for her either.

Suddenly, he has Annie and Milo in his life and all of the hecticness and fast-paced days have started to deepen that feeling in his chest. It’s tighter now like his heart is holding on as much his hands physically do when Milo’s trying to run away from his grasp and when Annie reaches out for him underneath the sheets.

Milo shivers in his arms which makes him think he can’t quite be ready to move yet, so Jeff crosses his legs and shifts to a more comfortable position. It’s a relieving feeling, knowing that Milo trusts him enough to have let him in so easily. He would have taken Annie alone, with no son and no extra baggage and no other complications.

Annie even joked about it once, about imagining if she’d just somehow ended up at Greendale instead and it didn’t even seem that unreasonable. She probably would have been the bright and motivated spark the school needed and he would have fallen to his knees as soon as he set eyes on her. But Milo? What if Milo had pushed him away, made the whole situation fall apart at the seams? He doesn’t like to think about it. Annie would tell him he doesn’t need to think about it.

Speaking of –

“Hey, is he asleep yet?” She asks from the doorway, keeping her voice down.

“Uh, he kind of moved a few minutes ago, so…”

“Oh, he’ll be fine if you put him down now. He just needed to doze off again. I’ll be in our room, okay?”

She walks off before he has a chance to respond, leaving him to slowly stand up, steadying himself as he gets to two feet before walking to Milo’s crib and lowering him to the mattress. He stirs and makes a grumbling noise which has Jeff gritting his teeth in fear of him waking up but thankfully he stays still and peaceful moments later.

“N’night, buddy.”

He doesn’t respond, thankfully, leaving Jeff to back away and leave the door open slightly ajar.

When he finds Annie next door, he doesn’t join her on the bed immediately, he walks over to the dresser and pulls off his sweater and jeans, hanging them on the drawer handles. When he _does_ join her, she’s on one side, scrolling through her phone and catching up on the day. He covers her bare shoulder with his palm before kissing the curve of her neck and he can see the creases of her eyes curl up as she smiles.

“Thanks for tucking him in.”

“No problem.” He kisses her again, “Did you have a good day?”

His question makes her roll over, locking her phone but keeping it close to her chest.

“Mhm. What did I say? I love your mom and… it was relieving to know she didn’t care too much about Milo. I mean, not in the sense that would upset me, at least. She just didn’t really see him as a big deal, which was nice.” She smiles shyly, dipping her head down, “I can see where you get it from.”

“Ugh, you’re not going to get sappy on me now, are you?”

She places a hand in the middle of his chest.

“No but… maybe a little. I really appreciate you letting me meet her and for you looking after him today. I’m grateful that I get to start expanding my family… wait, I can say that now, right? Family?”

“I call Duncan my family, so, sure.”

She frowns in acknowledgement of his statement.

“From what you’ve said about Duncan, I don’t know whether to appreciate that sentiment or be slightly offended.”

He bugs his eyes and smiles sarcastically.

“Oh really? Be careful, Ian’s British, he’s very insecure.”

“Says you.” She curves her hand into a point with one finger.

“Be careful, I have the insecurity of a British person.”

She mouths an apology, dropping her hand to the bed.

“You’re family. Trust me, it took me about five years until I classed Duncan as part of that. It only took me… what, eight months with you?”

Her hand circles a pattern between them, content with his answer. Or maybe not, as she swallows and her brows furrow.

“Are you still freaking out? It’s okay if you are, I just want to make sure you know you can tell me. I don’t want you to feel as we’re rushing into things.”

She watches him tuck his cheek into the pillows, rubbing his beard across it.

“I’m fine.”

She mirrors him but reaches out to stroke his other cheek, something she does more often now as if her comforting ways have transferred from Milo to him.

“You know, I’ve always had this fantasy of risking getting caught…”

She rolls her eyes and tucks herself into his chest, her arms wrapping around him tightly.

* * *

 

In the morning, Jeff lazily carries a sleepy yet happy Milo from his crib into their bed whilst his mom is still sleeping, settling him down so he can crawl around as they attempt to wake up. His hair is tousled and he has that perfect baby blush to his cheeks and he’s wearing nothing but a diaper and Annie has to resist bringing him into a cuddle every two seconds. When she does, she pretends to nibble at his ear as he reaches for Jeff to be ‘rescued’.

“Jeff! Help me! Mommy’s going to eat me!”

Jeff reaches out and tugs him into his lap with one pull, Annie sighing with faux-defeat, slumping back into her pillows. Milo sits with his legs resting on either side of Jeff’s hips, his hands perched on his chest, his fingers fumbling around.

Jeff watches him and smiles for a moment or two but Annie draws him out of it, tilting her head to the side so he knows she’s only talking to him. She’s only asking something mundane, just a question about what sort of thing his mom will make for breakfast, but Milo feels excluded, it seems.

“Daddy.” He pokes a finger into Jeff’s chest but he’s still facing away, squinting at Annie questioningly and shrugging a little at what she’s saying, “Daddy.” He repeats this but with added hand slapping now, clapping down on each side of Jeff’s pecks, not achieving anything. “Daddy!”

“What?!” Jeff snaps his head around before holding down Milo’s hands so he stays still. Jeff’s come to the realisation that Milo only really tends to use the name Daddy for when he wants to get his attention and Jeff for when he’s talking in general conversation. He’s almost glad of that, it means he’s still taking his time to adjust, naturally.

“Can you tell me a story?”

“A story? Um, well let-.”

“Knock, knock!”

Milo turns his head as soon as Doreen enters the room in a dressing gown and slippers. She smiles at the three of them and Annie scoots down a little further, covering herself up.

“Sorry to interrupt but I wanted to let you know breakfast will be ready soon.”

Jeff and Annie smile appreciatively as she watches them, Milo falling closer to Jeff’s chest, still not sure how to act around Doreen, unsure of who she really is.

“Oh bless, it’s like a perfect little picture in here.”

Jeff continues not talking so Annie perks up.

“Trust me, he’s not always like this every morning. And I’m not talking about Milo.” She winks, receiving a glare from Jeff.

“Hmm, I think you’re probably right and I doubt he’s even told you the real reason he’s been quiet.”

“What?”  
“What!” Jeff and Annie bark out simultaneously but for two completely different reasons.

“It’s the first time Jeff’s had anyone over to meet me since he was… ooh, I don’t know, seventeen?” She winks and leaves and Annie is left a little speechless, staring at him before it finally sinks in that his mom may have well been telling the truth.

“Am I seri-?”

“Yes.”

His eyes drift around the room, his tongue in his cheek as he blindly moves Milo from his lap.

“Wait, as in you’ve nev-.”

“Yes, okay?”

“I’m the fir-.”

Milo’s off the bed and his mom is downstairs so to stop her one last time, he tackles her amongst the sheets and silences her the best way he can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for being patient with these past couple of chapters! And for all the comments as usual :)


	18. You’ll Have to Wait and See

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hey, what’s this?” He asks as he reaches the bottom step, confident in the fact that Milo isn’t following due to the fact he can hear him screeching from upstairs. She lifts her head and raises an eyebrow.  
> “Um, oh, well, what does it look like?”  
> He rolls his eyes before holding the box between both hands to inspect it closer, just in case he’s been mistaken. He reads the two unmistakable words on the front and looks up again.  
> “Yeah but… why?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An epilogue, of sorts.

It all starts when Milo finds something he shouldn’t.

Jeff’s standing in the bathroom shaving, when he walks in, in his pyjamas, swinging a box between his fingers like it’s a toy he’s about to throw across the other side of the room. He’s humming too, almost as if he instinctively knows it’s something he shouldn’t touch. It makes sense that he’s acting rather mischievously, having pulled it out of a grocery bag left on the bedroom floor, forgotten to be put away before Annie fell asleep the night before.

He circles the sink where Jeff is standing before reaching up – it’s not too far now, now that he’s four and growing rapidly – and placing it down on the counter beside Jeff’s shaving cream. At first, Jeff’s thinks maybe it _is_ just a toy but then he glances down just to check and he does a double-take. It’s not completely surprising, in fact, he’s more shocked as to where Milo found it and why he felt the need to bring it out.

“Hey, Milo, where did you get that?”

He’s clinging to Jeff’s leg now, his hands and arms wrapped around his right thigh.

“It was on the floor.”

Jeff thinks back to the floor, the carpet, the rug, under their bed and every other inch of ground space in the bedroom, before mentally finding the bag and adding it all up in his head. Annie went to the express grocery store two blocks away last night. She went alone because he was working, Milo was asleep and she needed some air, apparently. Her saying that wasn’t necessarily unusual; they make sure to have time apart so they’re not on top of each other every second of the day, causing unnecessary tension.

“What is it?”

Jeff shakes his head before grabbing his towel and patting his face dry.

“Just something for Mommy. Go to your room and I’ll be in to get you dressed in a minute, okay?”

“Okay.” He dashes off obediently, leaving Jeff to pick up what he left behind and find Annie in the living room downstairs, folding laundry.

“Hey, what’s this?” He asks as he reaches the bottom step, confident in the fact that Milo isn’t following due to the fact he can hear him screeching from upstairs. She lifts her head and raises an eyebrow.

“Um, oh, well, what does it look like?”

He rolls his eyes before holding the box between both hands to inspect it closer, just in case he’s been mistaken. He reads the two unmistakable words on the front and looks up again.

“Yeah but… why?”

“Because we… you know… stopped using…” She suggestively tilts her head from side-to-side. He sighs and drops it down to his side.

“Yeah but you’re still on the pill, nothing’s going to happen.”

“It’s just for precaution… and, it wasn’t too long ago that we were having a _certain_ conversation and I just want to make sure I have something to hand. You don’t have to worry, okay?”

“I’m not worried I just wanted you to tell me, that’s all.”

She finishes rolling two socks up into a ball before walking over to look him in the eye more directly.

“I will next time, okay? I promise.” She takes the box and kisses his cheek before leading ahead back upstairs. “Now, where’s our son?”

“Milo, you better be ready for me!” Jeff calls from behind her, trying not to think too hard about next time.

He does a pretty good job of _not thinking_ in his opinion. The box is hidden away so he never sees it again and Milo never mentions it and Annie doesn’t fret over it like he fears she will so all in all, there’s no reason for him to do a _bad_ job of not thinking about it. Even when that certain conversation comes around again, he doesn’t obsess over it because she promised; he’ll know if she knows.

So, it’s been about three weeks since the last time they approached the subject – approximately a year and seven months since they started dating for real - and he really hasn’t thought about it. Maybe Annie has, especially seeing as it would directly affect her more at first but he hasn’t. It’s been the last thing on his mind. He’s taken on more classes recently in order to keep their little family afloat, so his focus has been on other things. And on Milo. His focus is always on Milo.

“Did you see what he did this morning with his backpack? He put his robot toy so its head was sticking out where the zips would meet. I said to him he should probably stuff it in so it doesn’t fall out but he was so adamant on having it where it was because it ‘gave the robot a good view’ because obviously, it’s pitch black inside a backpack.” Annie laughs at that, nodding because it’s exactly the sort of thing Milo would care about.

“I still get that guilty feeling when I drop him off, though.”

She nods, knowing exactly what he means.

“You’ll get used to it. It took me a while and I had to do it when he was barely six months old.”

“He still sort of, clings on, you know? Because it’s a longer day now and he knows we won’t be pi-.”

“Jeff.”

“Hmm?” He raises his eyebrows, waiting for her to give him some advice or tell him that Milo is crying in his room and she checked on him last night so it’s only fair he does it now, but it doesn’t come. She just sucks in a breath and stays quiet.

“What? What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

She shakes her head all over the place and he’s not sure he understands if it was a yes or a no to his question.

“I’m okay.”

“Are you tired or something?”

“I’m okay and I’m tired and,” She sits up from where they’re lying side-by-side in bed, letting it out in one breath, “I’m pregnant.”

It’s terrifying, letting those words escape her for the first time since that all-important day five years ago. In fact, five years doesn’t seem long enough. She really didn’t expect all of this to happen again so soon, it’s just once they started to discuss it and talk about the future, it all fell into place and it felt like a natural next step. Marriage isn’t even on the horizon, she’s still not even completely sure if Jeff even wants that so, somehow, creating a _child_ and stirring the pot of their crazy life together seemed even simpler.

Jeff’s expression doesn’t falter like he’s frozen in his question about whether she’s okay or not. And hopefully, if he doesn’t make a run for it, he’ll soon understand that she is okay – she hasn’t felt nauseous or _overly_ tired just yet but they should probably prepare for the worst-case scenario where she’s napping for several hours of the day.

“Really?”

“Really.”

“When did you find…” He shakes his head, not finishing the question.

“Two days ago,” He drops his eyes, working out if she’d dropped any clues, “I was going to tell you but I wasn’t sure how and then I thought maybe I could get Milo to tell you but then I realised he might get attached to the whole idea and if something goes wrong then we’ll have to explain and I-.”

“You’re sure?”

“I’m sure and I know it’s not just about me this time, it’s about you too and if you’re not ready or you don’t want this then you are free to tell me because I know it’s a big decision to make and it will change everything and trust me, I’m not prepared for it either no matter how much I’ve talked about it.”

“Annie, I _want_ this.”

She inhales sharply and her eyes gloss over and he has to reach out and hold her hand.

“You do?”

And he does because he loves Milo and he wants his own slice of that too, even if biology means nothing to him now, he wants to experience what he missed out on and he wants Annie to experience it without going at it alone because she doesn’t have to.

From then on, on her down days, he makes sure she gets the attention she needs or leaves her be when she grumpily, yet understandably, tells him to. He curls up with her in bed and starts placing his hand across her stomach even though nothing has changed yet and when they get their first scan, he does the job of telling Milo what it all means as she watches on, trying not to turn into a blubbering mess.

When they tell Doreen she claps her hands, tells them she knew it and lets them know how excited she is to have ‘two grandchildren’. Jeff rolls his eyes and holds Milo a little closer because it’s true, really.

“Where’s the baby going to sleep?” Milo asks one evening, tucked into Jeff’s side as he attempts to finish off reading his bedtime story. He turns his head so his chin is resting on Milo’s hair. The book they’re reading has nothing to do with babies – not even dragon babies – but it’s something he does now, so full of curiosity about this new exciting part of their life which is about to begin.

“They’ll be in with Mommy and Daddy for a while and then they’ll go in their own room.”

“But they don’t have their own room?” Milo sits up, full of concern and wonderment.

“No, we’ll make Mommy and Daddy’s office into a little nursery for them. Are you gonna’ help me paint it?”

“We can paint it blue!”

“Well, maybe. We have to ask Mommy what colour she wants it.”

“She’ll want it blue.”

But it turns out she doesn’t want it any colour, not just yet, because she decides to do things differently and wait to find out the gender and as much as Britta will try and tell herself and Jeff that genders don’t have colours and that genders aren’t even such a thing anyway, she’d rather leave the room the muted grey it is until it’s necessary to change. _If_ it’s necessary to change, even.

Jeff’s sure that she instinctively knows though, so at random intervals and times he’ll just blurt out the two option question of ‘boy or girl’ and she’ll roll her eyes and pick which ever jumps out at her first just to please him.

“Boy or girl?” He asks over dinner on one of their rare date nights, his hands clasped around his wine glass (or water glass – he’s sobered up in support of her not drinking for nine months), a tea light candle glowing between them. She shrugs and smiles and tilts her head from side to side, pretending to mull it over.

“Girl.”

He bobs his head and takes a sip of water, watching her jolt back with her lips parted.

“Hey, why don’t I ever get to ask _you_ that question?”

“Never told you, you couldn’t. “

“Fine. Boy or girl?”

He pouts in thought before pointing a finger at her.

“Girl.”

“Pfft, you’re only saying that because I did.”

“Uh, there are only two choices, I’m pretty limited here.”

“Hmm… is it weird that I can never really imagine you with a girl? Now I’ve seen you with Milo, I can never really picture it.”

“Ah, I guess you’ll just have to wait and see me with her then.”

After that, she’s not sure if he ever asks again, especially not when they reach the stage where Annie can no longer see her toes when she’s standing up. He probably stays quiet because he’s nervous or he’s excited and doesn’t mind the outcome anymore.

“Ugh, I’m so uncomfortable today. I don’t remember it being this bad with Milo.” Annie moans, holding a hand to her back as she tries to sit comfortably on the couch.

“Me neither,” Jeff adds jokingly, slumping down beside her with perhaps a little too much force.

“Ugh, Jeff, don’t sit here.”

“What, why?”

“Just… oh… _god._ ”

His eyes widen in panic as Annie’s whole body tenses up and she lets out a gasp of pain.

* * *

 

Annie can’t say she’s watching Jeff become a dad for the first time because that’s not true; she saw that with Milo with how tentative he was at first and how he slowly became more used to his toddler ways. However, it does feel like it. She’s watching Jeff become a dad to a _newborn_ for the first time.

In the hospital, even with her eyes as dry as the Sahara Desert due to exhaustion, a tear pricks to the corner of her eye as she lays back in her bed and watches Jeff cradle their _daughter_ in his arms, his lips parted as he takes every inch of her in. They landed on the name Lucie a few months back, the ‘ie’ ending to match Annie’s name taking a while for Jeff to agree on. (Her name is Lucie Edison-Winger in full; it seemed fairer if they combined their two names.) He catches her eye and his smile is beaming and the fears and loneliness of when Milo was born feel like a distant dream.

She attempts to hold back a laugh whenever she sees him dozing off in a comfortable position when they get back home because she’s been there and she’s _back_ there, exhausted as ever, but the sight of his eyes drooping shut and his mouth dropping open without him knowing is a pretty amusing one, made even sweeter by the tiny baby curled up on his chest, resting against the crook of his neck.

For the first week of adjusting with their new family member, Doreen comes over to keep an eye on Milo, making sure he has the attention he needs and to make sure Jeff and Annie aren’t overworking themselves.

“Can you pass me her, uh, what’s it called,” Jeff shakes his head, still not fully awake from his most recent accidental midday nap, “wrap.” He points at the pink polka dot baby grow at the foot of the bed and scratches behind his ear, his other hand holding Lucie in place as he waits for Annie to pass it over as she makes her way out of the room.

“Thanks.” He smiles and then unfolds it, finding the arms and the two poppers that hold it together at one side. He’s almost mastered it now, the changing situation, he’s currently just getting past the fear of hurting his daughter in all her new-born fragility.

“Nearly done.” He murmurs, gently pulling her right arm into place, “There you go, beautiful. Shall we go find the others?” He raises his eyebrows in question, receiving a pair of wandering eyes in response.

Downstairs, Milo and Annie are sitting on the floor and Doreen is pouring a coffee out in the kitchen and Jeff has to take a deep breath to calm himself because even though it’s been a week since Lucie arrived, it still hasn’t quite sunk in that this is his life now. It’s not too difficult to do with a warm, soft and entirely lovable baby in his hands, though.

“Daddy, come and look at what I’m making!”

“Okay, hang on, let me put your sister down first, okay?”

He settles her in the tiny rocking seat they have set up in the living room before accepting his coffee and a back rub from his mom.

“What have you made then, buddy?”

“The train track, it goes all the way to the couch and then under the table and over the bridge and Mommy made a river with some water and there’s Lucie’s house and my house and school, too. Oh, and we put trees next to all of the houses.”

Doreen chuckles, watching over them all. Lucie stirs but not for long and only in that new-born way where she’s stretching out her muscles and limbs, getting used to them.

“Good job, buddy.” Jeff ruffles his hair before putting an arm around Annie’s back, soothing his hand down her side.

“I think Lucie should play with me.”

Tucking herself into Jeff’s side, Annie sighs contently.

“Aww, she’s not quite big enough to play yet but she will be one day. She’s going to be so excited when she can. You’ll have to teach her how to build things like this.”

“Can we have lunch?”

Jeff groans into the palms of his hands, searching for the coffee he’d set down behind him.

“You can make it, Daddy’s too tired.”

* * *

 

“Never did I think I would see the day where Jeff Winger was pushing a new-born baby in a stroller. Or you know, even a toddler, but I’ve adjusted to that one.”

Britta clucks her tongue as Jeff rolls his eyes, doing just that with Milo and Annie walking on each side of him.

“Yeah and never did I think I would see the day where Britta Perry doesn’t make one of my children cry when she picks them up.”

She sticks her tongue out at that as Milo runs into her arms with a grin on his face.

“Hey, Milo. How are you?”

“I’m a big brother now!”

“What?! Really?! Wow! I had no idea.” Britta gasps, holding a hand to her chest.

Annie leans up, a hand in the crook of Jeff’s arm to balance her.

“Can you get me an iced coffee?” She kisses him on the cheek as he steps away and lets her take control of the stroller, following Britta and Milo to a table in the corner of the café they all meet up in at least twice a month. Shirley’s there already, her arms stretched out in excitement.

“Ooh, Annie! How are you?”

“Fine…” She trails off, giggling as she sits down and accepts a sideways hug.

“Where’s, um… Troy and Abed?” Britta asks, mumbling a little, making Annie smirk. Before she gets the chance to answer and reassure Britta that yes, _Troy_ will be coming with Abed in tow, Milo pipes up as usual.

“They’re late!”

“They’ll be like five minutes. They’re not late, I think we’re all early.” Annie confirms whilst lifting Lucie into her lap. “Do you mind?” She tilts her head at Britta and Shirley, suggesting the obvious.

“What? No, it’s a free country, feed away.”

“If your child is hungry, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, pumpkin.”

When Jeff finds the table, he has a tray of drinks in hand which almost go flying when Troy and Abed come charging from behind, clapping him on the back.

“Oh, oops, my bad.” Troy says before flashing a grin at Britta and sitting down between her and Milo.

Annie’s still feeding Lucie so Jeff does his best not to knock or nudge them as he settles down with an arm around the back of their bench. There’s one space remaining to his left and they all wait patiently, counting down the seconds which will allow Duncan to be thirty seconds late exactly, as he always is.

When he does eventually arrive, there’s a collective sigh followed by Lucie making hiccupping noises as she finishes up in Annie’s lap. They all stare in awe for a moment before Abed decides to break the moment and reveal he’s going to LA for a few months.

It turns out to be perfect timing because currently between him and Troy they have enough work to keep them afloat and allow him to leave and with Britta and Troy starting to spend time together, their apartment has a spare room to be used up. Troy almost cries again at the thought of Abed leaving but they all promise to be there for him and Jeff and Annie promise to leave Milo in his company more often so he’s always got a distraction (and so, you know, they have more time on their hands).

Shirley then reveals that she’ll be out of state for a while too, helping with her dad and neither Jeff nor Annie feel so bad for pawning Milo off on Troy; they’re going to need it.

“Well, we can confirm we’re _not_ moving or having another baby or getting married but… I am going to be taking fewer classes at the start of next semester, you know, because of the kids and, well… I may or may not be looking for jobs at some local firms.”

“Jeff Winger, you sly bastard,” Duncan responds, turning to meet Annie’s glare and hand pointed in Milo’s direction. “Sorry, sorry, I sincerely apologise for my foul language but as you can tell, I am just extremely surprised and quite frankly, proud of my old friend.”

“Really?” Jeff asks, a little confused.

“I must say as much as I enjoy you knocking about at Greendale and being my daytime drinking buddy, I think you’ve always been better suited to being a lawyer. Plus, you did a bloody good job of it last time.”

Jeff shrugs and smiles, taken aback.

“I’m happy for you Jeffrey… but, what was that about getting married? You know how I feel about that.”

Annie cuts in then, a hand on Jeff momentarily as she continues to balance Lucie.

“As much as we appreciate your concern, Shirley…” Annie sits up a little, confident in what she’s saying, “…getting married just isn’t on the table right now. We will, in the future… maybe when Lucie is old enough to walk and hold flowers…” She smiles, holding Lucie a little closer, “…but for now, I think we’re just enjoying becoming a family of four.”

“Haven’t you also got to deal with Jeff adopting Milo?” Abed asks bluntly. Everyone stares at him, even Milo himself. Jeff grits his teeth and searches Annie’s eyes for help.

“Um, well, yeah, yes, you’re right, it’s another thing on the list of possibilities but Abed, would you maybe not bring it up around…” She tilts her head at the all-important five-year-old. “…yet?”

He nods apologetically before Annie returns to her previous point.

“Anyway, we’re just thinking about becoming a family of four, right now.”

“And a lawyer.” Troy points out, his drinks straw between his teeth.

“Yes, Troy! And a lawyer.” Annie smiles before accepting a kiss from Jeff.

From then on, the conversations across the table flow naturally until they all go their separate ways, arranging to meet soon before Abed and Shirley fly the nest.

Somehow, Milo and Lucie settle at the same time (although, probably only for a brief twenty minutes in Lucie’s case), leaving Jeff and Annie to take a breather and just sit down on the couch at home in silence. Jeff rubs her feet and plays on his phone and Annie reads through a parenting book she hasn’t quite finished. She puts it down though, a thought still playing at her mind.

“You know… what Abed said… it’s probably not too difficult… I don’t receive any money or any support from Milo’s biological father. You’ve known Milo for longer than six months. You have a child with me now.”

Jeff pauses and she can tell that firstly, she’s not the only one who's still been thinking about it and that secondly, he’s not sure how to work around this conversation, which is understandable. Milo’s ‘father’ is never brought up. Jeff only learned his real name not too long, ago.

“Doesn’t he technically still have parental rights, though?”

Annie pouts, trying to act as if she doesn’t already know the answer to all of his questions.

“Technically… but… we have evidence that he’s not been involved with Milo so we’d be able to terminate it.”

He tilts his head back, making himself yawn.

“What did you say to Shirley? We’re just getting used to becoming a family of four?”

Annie dips her chin, shyly.

The doorbell rings then and they both know Lucie is about to wake up from the alarm that sounds through the house. They’re not expecting anyone or any deliveries and they know Doreen is busy with one of Jeff’s aunts so it can’t be her dropping by unannounced. Jeff briefly wonders if it’s to do with the moving van next door.

Annie gets up and kisses Jeff on the nose on her way past him.

“I’m just saying we should think about it.”

“I know. Do you want me to get it?” He asks, a hand on her back. They both look at the door and then at each other. She shakes her head and kisses him again.

“No,” He pulls her down to his mouth again as Lucie starts crying across the room, letting her finish her sentence just a whisker away from his lips, “I’ll get it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, I know it might be unexpected but... we have come to the end of this fic (at least for now - you guys always free to prompt me to do more). Thank you so much for commenting and following along! I feel as if not much more was needed and I hope this satisfied you enough. Find me over at harryspaceshipmchale on Tumblr if you want to ask me questions etc!! I love to discuss things in detail. Again - thank you!


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